Come up with the funniest -- while still being clean, that's important this week, as you'll see -- replacement dialog for the balloon in this panel and you'll win the chance to include any item you like, or a portrait of yourself, in HeroMachine 3!

The rules are simple:
- No more than three entries per person;
- All entries must be left as a comment (all in one comment or separate ones, doesn't matter) to this post;
- Must be relatively clean, appropriate for broadcast on late-night network TV, for instance.
That's it! Good luck everyone, we'll post the Finalists for voting next Monday.
(Image from "Action Comics" number 1, © DC Comics, Inc. Yes, this is the one with Superman in it, so you can see why he'd be afraid of magic for the rest of his career.)
@Jeff: I don’t think that is a dialog balloon. It looks more like a narration block.
True. Narration Block Contest then! I think we’ve done those before, but either way it should be fun seeing how that banana gets explained away.
He utters the magic words: “Ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong ding, Bananaphone!”
Pirate Peggy pointed the potassium pistol at the pug’s palm.
1. and then stripy the bandit pulls out a…wait is that a bannana???
2. a shocked and confused Bannana-Lad wonders why his banna gun ain’t then realises his using his lunch!!!
1) Sir Allen found himself in the worst buglery/interrogation in the world.
2) We now return to “The Banana Bugler” already in progress.
1- “Mandrake then uses the classic Pistol-to-Banana Illusion that he’s used to such good effect in many of his shows…”
2- Then, proving that it WAS a Banana in her pants, and that she WASN’T happy to see the Magician…
1. Fortunately, Phineas has taken the patented Monty Python Self Defense Course, and can defend against a man attacking with a banana!
2. Wilson speaks his spell, and in a moment, the Mime Pirate’s banana will magically transform into a PISTOL!
3. But then, John Stoatgobbler makes Bananarama a very unique offer…
1. “Little did the Jack the Ripper know of the tragic fate that awaited his backside by way of bananna.”
2. “He calmly stared into her piercing blue eyes, yearning to tell her he was a Fruit of The Loom man.”
3. “She went on to explain how High-Father hid the Anti-Life equation in the last place Darkseid would look: Luigi’s Fruit Stand.”
“I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!”
it puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the banana again
1. And low, God did give upon the the Lady The Holy Banana, and she did exclaim in surprise.
2. And then, Magic Man, using his powers turn-you know what, this is just silly, who in the name of superman is going believe this! I quit!
1. Patiently the crime boss explained he needed a bandanna, not a banana.
Once more, with feeling!
1. The yellow beak proved she murdered Tucan Sam!
2. The banana, not wanting to be eaten, raises its shields.
3. I had to admit, the dame had “a peel”.
2. Meanwhile, at sex ed class…
1. Suddenly, the radioactive banana bit her hand, giving her amazing banana powers!
2. And now for something completely different
1) Then she pulled out the deadly bananarang
2) SHe angerly realized that she had accidently picked up her daughters snack this morning, and sent her to school with a pistol.
3)She was confused why the magician wanted to make a banana split.
1. He explained how the phrase “with a bannana” could fit into any song.
Try it out, it’s true people!
Walk like an Egyptian with a bannana
It’s been a hard days night with a bannana
We only got four minutes to save the world with a bannana
Love me tender with a bannana
I can’t get no satisfaction with a bannana
All the single ladies with a bannana
See!
Meanwhile at the Chiquita Banana Factory, things seemed to be going exactly as planned.
All Shall Feel The Sting Of Bee-Girl!
3. Now let’s see what happens when we replace her gun…With a banana!
“Henry’s childhood phobia of top hats, combined with his obsession with banana’s proved to be the ringmaster’s downfall.”
“Reginald was obviously upset when the patent office clerk rejected his glowing banana as a viable commercial product”
The magician assured the bandit that, with this item, his victory over the Mario Kart championship was all but guaranteed!
1. “this thing’s loaded! With potassium!”
2. “no,i don’t wanna call him, you call him”
“The Pirate Queen advanced menacingly with the avocado, but, with a single mystic gesture…”
The Magician then realized to his dismay he was allergic to bananas.
The banana’s silence proved that the magician was right…It is NOT peanut Butter Jelly Time.
The Magician had fallen for the oldest trick in the book! HE FORGOT TO WATCH THE OTHER HAND!
If Mrs. Oops-I-peed-on-my-prison-suit-lady simply looked into the eyes of her nemesis, she would have realized that the Banana blinded all who gazed upon it!
John Wilkes Booth was already having a terrible day, but suddenly…!
1) “…and then suddenly, from out of nowhere! Banana!”
2) “…but suddenly, there was a glitch in the Matrix!”
3) “She would soon find out that scissors beats paper…not banana.”
and then with her clever use of her banana he realized hed lost all his stash his grapefruit oranges and apples were in the hands of mad woman banana pants he nearly added yellow to his outfit at the thought “i should have used King Kong instead…”
Yet no one saw the performance as the server had crashed.
1 he saw what she was holding a new she had dark things in mind
2 she knew that there was only one way out for them .handing the fruit over to him next thing she new…Banana man!!!! (ok that was lame))
3 he looked at here in shock and said ” im not Hell-Boy”
Patiently, the “Fruit Fancy” editor again explains the FIVE W’s…
1. “And so, if they wanted to be with her, they would have to touch her banana and, if worthy, her protruding fruit would glow…”
2. “Like a magic lamp, once stroked three times, the mysterious banana would grant only three wishes.”
3. “The first banana lamp: It always steered its possessors clear while trotting in those dark and smelly caves”
Now he must conjure a hammock for it.