Poll Position: The Buddy System

I always loved "Marvel Team-Up", which would pair up one well-known character with a lesser light for some good four-fisted action. So it got me to thinking:


Discussion after the jump.

The complicating factor here is that you don't know what your super-powers are. You could be any power set from Namor to Matter-Eater Lad, or anything in between. (And yes, I know Matter-Eater Lad is a DC Character, so flame off fan boy. This is what we call a humorous blog, accuracy is definitely second to comedy, and if you don't find the concept of Matter-Eater Lad funny, you're just dead inside.) So do you choose someone with a very wide set of abilities to increase your chances of compensating for any deficiency on your part? Or do you go more for personality and creativity? Or do you say, "To heck with thinking, KITTY FREAKIN' PRYDE!"

  • Captain America: You gotta love Cap. He brings a lot to the table, from his extreme athleticism and tactical skills to his commanding presence. On the other hand, he's probably hard to get along with in the field, always barking orders and treating you like enlisted scum.
  • Hulk: Hulk featured in a number of team books over the years, which frankly always puzzled me. He's the embodiment of uncontrolled rage, which makes him a bit hazardous to have by your side, you know? I mean, let's say you're sauntering along, trailing the Bad Guys, and you make an off-hand comment about a disgusting wad of used Double-Mint gum on the sidewalk, and Ol' Green Eyes decides you're talking about HIM and next think you know, WHAM! Guest-star putty. No thanks. On the other hand, you're extremely unlikely to run into anyone who he can't turn into paste, which is a plus.
  • Iron-Man: If you get the movie version of Tony Stark, you have an excellent chance he'll say "Screw this" to the whole fight-the-bad-guys thing and instead jet you off to some ludicrously expensive pleasure dome in the middle of paradise. Which is kind of nice. On the other hand, you could get Silver Age Iron Man, whose suit was always running out of juice at inopportune moments, leaving you high and dry. Plus that version of Stark would drink all your booze and nail your girlfriend while you were getting pummeled in the secret base, so it's a bit of a toss-up.
  • Kitty Pryde: Two words: Hubba. Hubba. Two other words: Completely. Useless.
  • She-Hulk: All (well most) of the Hulk's strength with none of his rage-induced fits of "Turn Your Friends Into Brightly Colored Spandex Smears." Also, see Pryde, Kitty (above). Finally, her ability to get you out of the traffic ticket you'll inevitably incur as you race to the scene of the crime would be handy.
  • Silver Surfer: Great power set, lousy personality. I'd be all "Cry me another river about Shangri-La, you silver-pated loser, then surf your mopey ass down it and away from me." And then he would kill me because Herald of Galactus.
  • Spider-Man: Fun guy to hang out with, unlikely to drink all your beer, and good in a fight. You get the feeling he'd let you crash on his futon after the battle.
  • The Thing: Much of Hulk's upside, but served with a side of self-pity instead of vengeful unreasoning wrath.
  • Thor: OK, yes, he's a god, and that's nothing to sneeze at. On the other hand, he's a god, what the hell are YOU gonna do during this little caper besides look pathetically mortal?
  • Wolverine: Wolverine's awfully good to have around for a lot of reasons, but it's damn hard to "star" alongside the most popular character in the universe because let's face it, who wants to read about YOUR pasty ass when they've got Wolverine to ogle? No one, that's who.

So looking over the list, I'd probably end up going with either She-Hulk or Spider-Man. They're fun to hang out with, and great in a variety of combat situations.

But that's just me, who would you pick, O Budding Super-Hero Guest Star?