Much like the Los Angeles Lakers, the Borg in Star Trek come in two varieties: Pure, unadulterated, horrifying, assimilating, nasty, relentless evil and complete wusses who you still hate just on principle. To be clear, this week's Poll Position is dealing with the former:
Because when you've got a creation as creepy and awesome as The Borg, you owe it to yourself to not let them become completely emasculated, impotent weenies, and if you have to invade some other person's much healthier (read: violent) creation to make that happen, then so be it. Discussion after the jump.
- DC's Superman Universe: I admit, I would love to see Big Blue tearing through enormous Borg cubes like toilet paper. And the Borg are, I feel sure, intelligent and well-traveled enough to have encountered Kryptonite before, which should at least keep things interesting. Throw in a little "LexLocutus" action and I think you'd have a winner of a miniseries on your hand.
- Dr. Who: I am a pig-ignorant American savage and thus know absolutely nothing about Doctor Who. But, I include him on this list for the more learned among you.
- GI Joe: They've got a movie coming out that, frankly, looks stupid. They could use the help of a major player like The Borg. Plus you'd have the possibility of the Joes being forced to join forces with COBRA, which would be all kinds of fun.
- Harry Potter's wizards and muggles: They better hope that whole "high technology tends not to work well around wizards" thing is true, or that would be one brutally short assimilation. On the other hand, it would be pretty funny to see a Borg with all those wires and gears sticking out holding a wand and dead-panning "Expelliramus".
- Marvel's Avengers Universe: We sort of already had this with the Secret Invasion thing, so I'd probably pass. But if they did do it, I'd demand Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch do the issues, because their Ultimates battle against the Skrulls kicked so much ass it was practically a donkey rodeo.
- Star Wars' Empire: Darth Vader versus the Borg? I think I just wet myself.
- Transformers: Machines versus cyborgs, what's not to love? Throw in some ninjas and pirates and we'd have Nerdvana.
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I would totally pay to see a Borg vs. Vader movie so long as George Lucas was tied up and gagged in a broom closet somewhere throughout writing, shooting, and post-production. The money shot of a Death Star going up against a swarm of cubes would be worth the price of admission right there.
Which would you want to see?
Wow, great list! As much as I love Dr. Who, he already has the Daleks. No, I think I’d have to go with Star Wars. Vader vs the Borg is just an awesome match up. And, if the Borg managed to assimilate a Force-user or two…
I agree, I wonder what would happen if the Borg assimilated a Jedi. Would the creature retain power over the Force?
Good question, Jeff and the answer depends on our knowledge of the Force:
1). If said Jedi/Sith was assimilated and the Force is based on original movies– that it is a mystical energy binding and surrounding all living things, then no. At that point the being is now part of the Collective and follows the will of the Collective. It has no identity nor personal use of his/her knowledge.
2). However, if we are to base “The Force” on the ridonculous revision of the Prequels and is an effect or benefit of being swarmed with Midiclorians (…LAME!) than the answers is maybe. The Borg begin assimilation through nano-machines that rework cellular structure and so on and so forth. It is possible these machines could invade the Midiclorians and adapt what “it or they” know to manipulate the Force.
But you know, the Borg verses the Daleks would be a spectacular epic.
I say Harry Potter, but for totally different reasons–
I’d love to see that whole universe get sucked down the Borg tube.
Tardis vs Borg. How delightfully epic!
Jeff! Don’t admit to not watching Doctor Who, you’ll lose your geek points! Right out the window, Jeff! THERE THEY GO.
But serious, how about the Borg assimilate all of these universes, then said universes are forced to team-up in the most thrilling and complex crossover event since forever?
I’ve gotta agree with Damien, and for that exact reason. š
And what’s with the Lakers hate, Jeff? That ain’t cool, man. š
lol@Damien
@Jeff’s question: I don’t think they would retain use of the Force. Droyds have often surpassed the limitations of programming and become sentient creatures, but they are not inside the structure of the Force. Only ACTUALLY living entities, which the Borg are not, can manipulate the Force. The Borg are a sentient web of organically-augmented and augmenting computers, but they’re still just a computer. This is, of course, just my understanding of what the Borg are and I could be wrong in my description of them. However, my gut also tells me that they would not retain or ever be able to gain manipulation of the Force.
Well, technically the Borg are cyborgs, half-computer/machine and half organic sentient … The Federation was able to rescue Picard from the remains of Locutus after he had been assimilated, which makes me think that enough of the individual remains to be relevant for Force purposes.
You unfortunately also have to look to “Hugh the friendly Borg” from TNG (an abomination if ever there was one) and Seven of Nine from Voyager as examples of self-willed individual sentients coming from the Borg collective. So I don’t think it’s an open and shut case either way.
I will say that when you get right down to it the Borg are just sci-fi zombies, which for some reason never occurred to me until now.
And finally, Jim Butcher has a really cool zombie-Borg-hive like thing in the Vord from his “Furies of Calderon” series. At one point they “assimilate” some of the magic-using humans and those so Taken are capable of using their magic still. A different series and world, obviously, but at least the idea’s been done.
I can’t believe I’m having this discussion and taking it seriously. It’s good to be a geek, lack of Dr. Who credentials aside.
And as long as we’re confessing, I’ve also never seen an episode of “Land of the Lost”. I didn’t know what a Slistak was til my wife told me.
Whaaaaaat?!? How can you have never seen an episode of Land of the Lost? WTF, man? You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a 70s family trapped in a lost world and yet somehow able to keep their flannel shirts looking like they’re fresh off the rack. š
i was kinda leaning towards the Dc universe because i want to see hanshaw become the king of the borg
As a consumate Dr. Who geek, I hate to tell you that Dr. Who faced an enemy much like the Borg prior to ST:TNG, the Cybermen.
perhaps stargate universe (is anyone watching that here?) though they kind of had that run with the replicators (robotic all-consuming spiders).
@Imp: Sorry man, as a longtime Spurs fan I have a reflex gag reaction to anything Phil Jackson related.
How about the Old Republic? Arrogant self satisfied idiots, the lot of them. They need an attitude adjustment, and the Borg would be perfect for that. I want to see a Jedi’s face when the third or fourth drone he hits “adapts” to his light saber, and the entire Jedi Order becomes mostly harmless.
And don’t get me started on Hugh. “I know! Lets give the Borg an individual! He’ll infect the entire collective with individuality!” After all, it isn’t like the Borg have spent the last who-knows how many centuries wandering the galaxy crushing the individuality out of entire civilizations. Oh, wait… It is.
That’s almost as silly as hundreds of Jedi with only two Sith to worry about thinking that a prophecy about bringing “balance” to the Force will be a good thing for them.
Sorry.
Pet peeves exorcised.
End of Rant.
Jeff, your money shot description convinced me.
Vader vs. Borg
Death Star vs. Borg Armada
YEAH!
Nothing against Harry, personally, but Wizarding society needs to seriously be taken down a peg, or two…
And I think that Universe offers the Borg the least in the way of things worth assimilating!
{Though the Joes come in a close second!}
And, yes, the Borg could assimilate the Jedi, and already have a major tech edge…
So, Vader of Borg would be a very real threat!
Oh, and Jeff? Phil Jackson, as much as Michael Jordan, was the reason the Chicago Bulls won all those rings!
Hate him all you want, but the man can coach!
Phil Jackson is a great coach who would be even better if he took the time he spends on whining about the refs to actually coaching.
No justice, no peace!
(I still carry a grudge for the Spurs Asterisk comment from Back In The Day)
I say Star Wars, not just because of Darth Vader vs the Borg, but Darth Vader(as well as the rest of the Empire) joining forces with the Borg! Imagine it: The Empire’s command of a whole army of Stormtroopers implanted with Borg technology would give rise to the Borgtroopers as well as the fall of the Rebellion and the remaining Jedi, leaving them to rule the entire Galaxy! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!…oh, sorry. Don’t know what came over me.