Poll Position: Hot lead and cold iron

Screw intellectual debate, this is COMICS, let's have some violence-loving fun already:


Discussion after the jump.

The prohibition against guns mostly rests with your major Golden Age characters at this point, your Superman and Batman types. I don't know how many times as a kid I'd be reading one of those stories and yell at the character "Just pick that thing up and SHOOT him already!" So that got me to thinking; with all the retcons and revamps lately, which hero would I like to see start slinging some iron.

  • Batman: Batarangs are fine and dandy, but let's be honest -- no thrown weapon can match a good old-fashioned full metal jacket. Add modern firearms to The Dark Knight's arsenal and he'd have Gotham cleared of criminal scum in about three days. Which might be why they haven't done it yet. Yes, I know, he shuns guns because that's what killed his parents, but I notice he didn't forswear movies, or pearl necklaces, or combat. Get over yourself already, Bruce, and start slinging some iron!
  • Captain America: You're telling me a soldier in the US Army refuses to use a freaking gun?! This makes no sense. If shields were so great Smith & Wesson would make them in forty caliber sizes, but they don't, now do they?
  • Frodo: "Gollum, I'd like you to meet MY precious! BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!" Admit it, you would totally pay to see that.
  • Harry Potter: Just think of it like a spell with no verbal component, but a high materials cost. Notice the name is "He Who Cannot Be Named", not "He Who Cannot Be Shot".
  • Luke Skywalker: Granted, Luke uses a blaster in some scenes, notably in "Jedi" while freeing Han from Jabba. But once he graduates to the full light saber you rarely see him use anything else. Not that I blame him, a light saber is a great weapon, but you have to admit a light saber PLUS a gun is just that much better.
  • Spider-Man: Peter's kind of a pansy, I think a powerful side-arm would lend him that aura of machismo he's lacking currently. Plus there's always the hope that stray rounds might relieve him of that pesky "Aunt May Problem" which is a real bonus he'd never get from splattered webbing.
  • Wonder Woman: See the entry for "Spider-Man". She has no offensive weaponry at all, and yet she's a Warrior Princess. She needs to hit the Xena School of Warrior Princessing to learn how to be a true warrior chick, but Xena didn't have the resources of America's vast military-industrial complex on which to draw, either. Tell you what, Diana, hock the Invisible Jet and invest that money in some high-yield weaponry instead, you'll be a lot better off. Then you can use that lasso to ask penetrating questions like "Did it hurt when I shot your ass".

As you can tell, this isn't the most "serious" Poll Position I've ever asked, but I have to say I'd love to see Batman give up on the whole "no guns" policy. It never made a ton of sense to me; the guy's that driven and yet he balks at guns? Like exploding Batarangs aren't just as bad or worse? Please. Second would have to be Cap; like I said, he's a freaking soldier, act like one. How'd he ever pass basic training?!

I wish I'd put Aquaman on the list, because I think seeing him trying to use a gun underwater would just reinforce how pointless he is as a character. It'd be like a metaphor, and I like me some metaphors.

Who'd you choose, and why?