Caption Contest 52: All Star Dinosaurs!

If you can come up with the best replacement dialog for this ... disturbing ... panel from the pages of the excellent "All-Star Superman" trade paper-back #1, you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) from professional illustrator Jeff Hebert!


Since this is the 52nd contest and (according to my leet math skillz) there are 52 weeks in a year, this is a very special edition of the contest. So this time, there are no rules. Make as many entries as you like of whatever nature you like. So long as it's funny.

I'll also be announcing a special "One Year Anniversary Prize" next week, so be sure to check in next Tuesday for that, too.

Good luck everyone!

155 Responses to Caption Contest 52: All Star Dinosaurs!

  1. Avatar DJ says:

    1.OH…my back

  2. Avatar Worf says:

    No more playing… It’s nap time.

    My head!!! Where’s my head????

  3. Avatar Worf says:

    those are two separate entries above. Forgot to number them

  4. Avatar Worf says:

    3. Is THIS where it hurts???

  5. Avatar Worf says:

    4. Who turned out the light?

  6. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    OK, Lady! Where do ya want it?

    Little help here? Jeez, where’s a skycap when ya need one?

  7. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    :::giggle:: The princess will be so surprised!

  8. Avatar Damien says:

    1] Wilma! I’m HOME! And I brought takeout!
    2] How the heck DO you gift-wrap one of these, anyway?
    3] This is the last time I’m carrying you.

    Hey Jeff, a thought today on HM3. What about more animal-related parts? You had plenty of heads in 2, but only a few hands and 2 sets of feet.

  9. Avatar Damien says:

    4] [singing] “I’m thinkin’ ’bout MEAT tonight, about MEAT tonight…”
    5] “Cut your food. Use a knife. You eat like an animal…” Shut up, Mom.
    6] If your tail trips me again, you’re walking.
    7] Why is there never a bus when you need one?!
    8] Gee, I wonder what the next “task of Hercules” she’s gonna make me do…?
    9] This sucker’s a %$#@ to carry!
    10] This pelt is SO going to go with my red tights!

  10. Avatar Runt82 says:

    1) I knew I was going to regret signing up for Demon Ballet.

  11. Avatar Hades says:

    Man, they’ll make a blow up doll of ANYTHING these days…

  12. Avatar Damien says:

    11] Will you shut up? I’m the one doing all the work.
    12] “Carry me, I’m scared of the dust!” How do you get me to believe this crap?
    13] Dude, seriously. You REEK.
    14] [singing] Macho Macho Man, I get to be a MACHO-O-O Man!”
    15] Ahnold, you suck. Check THIS action out!

  13. Avatar Damien says:

    16] Punch buggy red, punch buggy red. Wait’ll Lyogi see’s THIS!

  14. Avatar Runt82 says:

    2) Next time darling, it’ll be YOUR turn to change his diaper.

  15. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Ow! Ow! Ow! Hernia!

  16. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    “Dinosaur Lifting to the Oldies”? Last time I fall for that one!

  17. Avatar Runt82 says:

    3) “During your times of trial and suffering,
    when you see only one set of footprints,
    it was then that I carried you.”

    (This may be sacrilegious, but I’m a fan of dark humor. The poem is Footprints in the Sand.)

  18. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    I thought I TOLD YOU to get back in the house, boy!

  19. Avatar hookman says:

    1. Damn that evil wizard and his head-changing spell!
    2.If that tail hits me in the nuts one more time I’m dropping you!
    3.And now we’re going on our honeymoon!

  20. Avatar Runt82 says:

    4) Why couldn’t I have been partnered with Julianne Hough?

  21. Avatar Bael says:

    …Just three more to go! Now up, two, three, four!

  22. Avatar Runt82 says:

    5) You’re going to sit down and watch “Kung Pow: Enter the Fist” whether you want to or not, and that’s final, young man.

  23. Avatar Runt82 says:

    6) Stop your complaining. The WATCHMEN movie wasn’t THAT bad.

  24. Avatar CARR10N says:

    I (*slobber*) am not (*slobber drool*) an ANIMAL!

  25. Avatar CARR10N says:

    I finally found something Michael doesn’t have at Neverland…

  26. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Oh look, Narnia!

  27. Avatar Brad says:

    No, I don’t know what I’m touching! Do I look like Alan freakin’ Grant to you?

  28. Avatar Joshua says:

    1). …and that’s how you properly administer the Heimlich to dinosaurs.

  29. Avatar Joshua says:

    2). Well, it beats being called a horse’s ass!

  30. Avatar DJ says:

    2.I’m gonna win the gold!
    3. I brought dinner!
    5. Did my pants rip?
    6. I hope you like this richard.
    7.Since its our anniversary i got you this Jeff.

  31. Avatar DJ says:

    8.Telekinetic dinosaur beats Psychic Squid!
    9.I choose you Kickassasaurous!

  32. Avatar Joshua says:

    3). Face it, brother!– I, Hulk Hogan the 57th, am gonna win Wrestlemania 283!

  33. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    You’re going on that blind date.

  34. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Vote or Die!

  35. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Remember when I said I’ll kill you last? I lied.

  36. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Let’s see colon… pancreas… Webster…ah here we go prostate.

  37. Avatar The D-man says:

    1) This is not part of my job description!
    2) You’re getting to big for these damn pigy back rides!
    3) You better watch where you poke that tail!
    4) They said I had to deliver a large package, they never mentioned this!

  38. Avatar The D-man says:

    5) This will teach them to teepee my house!

  39. Avatar Skiriki says:

    1) Dibs on ribs!

  40. Avatar Socrates says:

    1. “I’m sorry, but it’s cancer.”
    2. “Don’t get a big head about yourself, they said!”

  41. Avatar Socrates says:

    3. “He ain’t heavy – he’s my brother.”

  42. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Quiet you. You’re extinct.”

  43. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Wait for the backhoe pooper scooper. I can’t afford another fine.”

  44. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Is that my jerrycurl or your jerrycurl getting in my face? Wait a minute, dinosaurs don’t have hair…..What?!!

  45. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I’m confused. Did Liefeld draw us? Cuz either I’m a giant, or your a dwarf dinosaur.”

  46. Avatar Frankie says:

    “What do you mean you’re not a dragon? Damn you Gandolf!”

  47. Avatar amathakathi says:


    2. Why are you complaining? I’M the one doing the heavy lifting!

    3. You have beautiful eyes…

  48. Avatar Fishpants says:

    1. Hang on, I have another call.

  49. Avatar amathakathi says:

    Someone’s already kinda done my No. 1, so I’m switching it for:

    1. Man, I HATE prehistoric ballet

  50. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Just tell me left or right. Between this oncoming dust storm and your collosal butt, I can’t see a thing.”

  51. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Knock it off up there, or I swear to god, I’ll turn us around and head straight back home.”

  52. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Are you kidding me? In this post-apacolyptic world, there is no way I’m going to be the new Eve.”

  53. Avatar Frankie says:


    The above post is why I call myself Frankie in these posts.

  54. Avatar EnderX says:

    “Denver, the last dinosaur…”

  55. Avatar Tal says:

    1. Up yours!
    2. I’m Mr. World!
    3. Catch!
    4. Are we there yet?
    5. Pizza delivery!
    6. Stupid nupital customs…
    7. Feel the burn!

  56. Avatar Cory says:


    2. I hope my insurance covers dinosaur bites…oh, wait…ha, I’m Superman…nevermind.

    3. I thought you said that you LIKED being on top?


    5. YAHTZEE!

    6. That’s not what you said last night!

    7. I thought you said that you WANTED to meet my parents!

    8. OOOH, a penny!

  57. Avatar Steve says:

    1. Damn, I knew I should have stayed with Lois.
    2. I bet Batman doesn’t have to put up with this shit.
    3. You remind me of Green Arrow, cuz you NEVER SHUT UP!
    (@ 1, 2 and 3 I KNOW that its NOT Superman in the picture..)
    4. By the Power of Grayskull..oh, wait.
    5. Wonder Twin Powers Activate!
    6. At least your onomotopoeia isn’t ridiculous.
    7. Maybe if we take things slowly, you’ll learn to love me someday.
    8. You talking to me? Cuz I don’t see anyone else around.

  58. Avatar Joshua says:

    4). You know, Carrie, this is the last time I go antiquing with you.

  59. Avatar Cory says:

    Crap…it ISNT Superman….I just realized that…:( oh well

    9. For the LAST time, its NOT delivery!

    10. Is this the Jackson-Weber wedding? I brought the entertainment.

    11. Im gonna love him, and squeeze him, and never let him go!

  60. Avatar Jimmy says:

    I will hug you and squeeze you and call you George.

  61. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Notice how your tail forms an S? That’s so the readers know they are still reading a superman comic.”

  62. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I love you. You love me. We’re a cross species fam-i-ly.”

  63. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    1) …and now my head’s stuck in a dinosaur. Mondays *sigh*.

    2) Who ordered the extremely rare ‘Dino-to-go’?

  64. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    Heh, Dave is gonna be SOOO jealous!

  65. Avatar Frankie says:

    “RRRRUUAAAGGG! My back!”

  66. Avatar Allan says:

    1. yeah I know those margaritas are a real killer.

  67. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    (the above was number 3)

    4. Oh quit complaining, you shouldn’t have eaten the whole thing anyway!

    5. Did you fart?!?

    6. I still don’t believe you sprained your ankle.

  68. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    7. Damn it! Every time we’re alone together it’s the same Alien death cloud!

  69. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:


  70. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    9. Does my head look big in this?

  71. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    10. My Brain Hurts!

  72. Avatar Lyogi says:

    1. I’m sick of hearing you moan about your upset stomach
    2. Honey, I know this is a custom for newlyweds, but…
    3. The mouse is gone. And so is my back.
    4. Next time, I’ll ask what the pregnancy craving is for, before I agree to get it.
    5. Does this dino make my butt look big?

  73. Avatar Ian says:

    ZOMG! Okay, I’m only going to do one since everybody else is doing a hundred. *Lays it all on the line*

    “Tonight, on a Very Special Episode of Diff’rent Strokes…”

  74. Avatar Fishpants says:

    2. Playing the tuba is hard!
    3. Are there any other…nnnngh…pets in the building, ma’am?

  75. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    11. Look what I found! Can I keep it?

  76. Avatar Fishpants says:

    4. Well SOMEBODY has to sign for it!
    5. Sorry we’re late. Where does Noah want these dinosaurs and unicorns?

  77. Avatar Fishpants says:

    6. Dude, bongasaurus is kicked.

  78. Avatar Fishpants says:

    7. Go home, Dave…you’re wasted.
    8. I hate being the designated driver.

  79. Avatar Fishpants says:

    9. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ aliiiiiiiiive!

  80. Avatar StrangezThingez says:

    1. I feel like I’m losing my head doing this!
    2. Aw, shut up you litt’l crybaby!
    3. Fusion… Ha!
    4. Quiet, Mr. Dinosaur! We’re going to… Candy Mountain!

  81. Avatar The Imp says:

    1: Stop yer whinin’, ya big baby!

    2: It plumps when you cook it!

    3: That’ll teach ya to shoplift ankle bracelets!

    4: Where the hell did I put that garbage can?

  82. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    12. 3 points!

    13. Mom! I think we have an infestation! Look what I found in the closet.

  83. Avatar jude says:

    “Stop tickling my nipple with your tail.”

    “Don’t my head!”

    “When they say, don’t feed them at midnight they mean it.”

  84. Avatar Joshy676 says:

    1. It is implied that I can hardly lift you!

    2. It’s days like these that are why I wish I’d invested money in Children’s Card Games instead of dinosaurs.

    3. GGGAAAUURRRR yourself!

    4. See how far that belly-achin’ will go, then! One more and I’m spray-painting you green, throwing grass on the wet paint and naming you “Yard-Zilla”.



    3. Hows this for a new position!

    4. Is that Your tail or are u just happy to see me?




    *get it? GARLIC BREATH!!!!*


    *look at the dino’s hands!*

    9. Mel Brook’s “History Of The World Part I” COMING SOON!!!!


  86. Avatar Loki says:

    1.”Dress Power! ACTIVATE!!


    3.”Lift the monster he says, it’s easy he says…”

  87. Avatar Loki says:

    Zoonks! Like Scooby! When did turn in to a dino!?

  88. Avatar Joshy676 says:

    5. Stop GGGAAAUURRR!-ing, we’re going to SNEEZE NOW!

  89. Avatar Syzyx says:

    1) You’re going to the vet whether you like it or not!

    2) And I’m sure I’ll still get a 4.8 from the Russian judge.

    3) Oh, I so cannot wait to get you back to Texas. New boots!

    4) Just because I was the designated driver did not give you the right to do that to my car. Or the pub.

  90. Avatar von Bek says:

    1. These Barney toys just keep getting bigger

    2. Breath in my super-guff!

  91. Avatar Scorpidius says:

    Fido, Bath time!

  92. Avatar Jester says:

    1. Voted most likely to get my head stuck in the back of a dinosaur… what are the odds?

    2. I hate my job…

    3. Okay, maybe I AM too good at carnival games…

  93. Avatar Jester says:

    4. HA! Soon basketball, mini-golf, and Quidditch will ALL be forgotten! For now comes the rise of… DINOSAUR PUNTING!!!

    5. I really don’t think membership is worth the initiation…

    6. Stop gaurging at the mist! Didn’t you see the movie?!

    7. This cabbage would be alot easier to carry if it had a handle…

  94. Avatar von Bek says:

    3. They’re right, they aren’t slimy

    4. Well you dropped it, stinko!

    5. Hey, the view’s not so good down here either

    6. I’m still winning

    7. So soft, and yet so strong

    8. Hey, look what I found in the mist!

  95. Avatar von Bek says:

    9. I guess, technically, this isn’t bestiality

  96. Avatar Marx says:

    Om Nom Nom

  97. Avatar Runt82 says:

    7) Dino Riders: We’re doing it wrong!

  98. Avatar Runt82 says:

    8) Sorry Dinosaucers, Genghis Rex is a little too drunk…and naked…right now to fight you. I’ll just put him back in bed.

  99. Avatar Runt82 says:

    The smiley was supposed to be “8 )”.

  100. Avatar CARR10N says:

    OMG!! I cant use that as an eye hole.

  101. Avatar miggo says:

    1. FFFfffAAAaRRrTttt!

    I’m sorry i can’t come along with anything more intelligent right now πŸ˜›

  102. Avatar Fishpants says:

    10. King me!
    11. Knight to Queen’s Bishop!

  103. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I know it hurts. That’s because you don’t have an anus.”

  104. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Really? She said that about YOU?

  105. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Damn it. My award winning strawberry has mutated.”

  106. Avatar Frankie says:

    “D’oh! What’s the first thing they tell you in superheroing 101? Rescue the people, not the horrifying monsters. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

  107. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Cocaine is a helluva drug.

  108. Avatar Tal says:

    Had to add this one:

    8) Jeez, Atlas had it easy.

  109. Avatar Tal says:

    Runt82’s applies in the previous.

  110. Avatar Tal says:

    Sorry, and this:

    9) For the thousandth time: dinosaur, not gaur!

  111. Avatar The D-Man says:

    6) This is the last time I lose a bet to Jeff Hebert.

  112. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Gay City, here we come.”

    If this one is the winner, Jeff, you can spell that last word any way you like. Wink. Wink.

  113. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    14. Yes, cheeseburgers and lonliness are a dangerous mix.

  114. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    15. I DON’T CARE! We’re NOT going back for your left arm!

  115. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    16. KITTY!

  116. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    Sooo the special competition has no censorship restrictions eh?…

    17. You anatomically incorrect SLUT! I can fit my whole head in here!
    18. We’re almost at the hospital, but YOU’RE explaining how it got stuck in there!

  117. Avatar JonnyDemon says:


    Dwarf bowling was easier.

    Goldfish,shmoldfish,watch me swallow this!

    One dino special, rare ,coming up.

    What did you do with Moon Boy!

    Damn, this zit is out of control!

    Shaken, not stirred.

  118. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    2) For the last time, I’m NOT Little Johnny Paper!
    3) Good news…your prostate looks normal.

  119. Avatar miggo says:

    2. Yeah, I’m a thrill seeker, but crikey, education’s the most important thing!
    (Steve Irwin πŸ™‚ )

  120. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. Time for bed Senator McCain.

    2. Dinosaur Delivery Service!

    3. “Gggaaauurrrr” your head off! You’re going to bed!

    4. Do you have this in blue?

    5. I’m really “dragon ass” today.

    6. I’m practicing my scales!

    7. Who’s daddy’s little sack of taters?

    8. Lousy bar bets!


    10. Damn thing ran out of gas!

    11. Where the hell are we?

  121. Avatar Aidan says:

    this dino REALLYneeds to hit the tredmills

  122. Avatar Aidan says:

    HEY! That’s the first time I broke a bone! Yaaa! Ouch!

  123. Avatar Aidan says:

    This fatty-dino REALLY needs to hit the tredmills!

  124. Avatar Jester says:

    (Holy cheese on ice, Jeff… you’re gonna have take an additional week to read all these comments… and another one to sort through all the good ones :))

    8. …I never should have left him alone with a dinosaur egg and an incubator…


    10. Ok, Greg, so Jurassic Park didn’t want us… But as soon as I get some purple paint, its off to PBS Kids!

    11. You know, its time like these that make me wonder exactly where I’m going it life…

  125. Avatar Rob Rogers says:

    1. Who’s the cutest little dinosaur in the Jurassic period? You are! Kitchy koo!

  126. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Stop with the stuttering already. Now let’s try this one more time….Seseme Street was brought to you by the letters….”

  127. Avatar Daniel Draco says:

    Ow, I’m chafing! What possessed me to put my bra OUTSIDE my tights?

  128. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Get ready for an atomic drop, Ultimate Saurus.”

  129. Avatar David says:

    All right, this is the last time you drink THAT much beer!

  130. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    19. I told you we should have used lubricant.

  131. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    20. Why so serious?

  132. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Why’d they hafta put the parking lot so far away from baggage claim, that’s what I’d like to know!

  133. Avatar Sol-leks says:

    1.and here’s your winner of strongman 2009 much for 20 miles per gallon
    4.and i thought they smelled bad when they were alive
    5.that’s what you get for sneezing with your eyes open
    6.i told him not to mix pop rocks with diet cola and mentos

  134. Avatar Aidan says:

    This fat-ass dino REALLY needs to hit the treadmills!

  135. Avatar Aidan says:

    Hey dino, If I die, Stay away from my funeral!

  136. Avatar Aidan says:

    OH NO! CRAMPS!!!!

  137. Avatar Aidan says:

    I can make it! No I can’t! Yes I can! You shut up! No you shut up! Alright, talking to myself just got boring.

  138. Avatar Aidan says:


  139. Avatar Aidan says:

    THIS IS GOOD! Oh no! My crotch is itching! I’ll have to put down the dino for a sec to itch like MAAAAAAAAAAAAADDD!

  140. Avatar Aidan says:

    THIS IS GOOD! Oh no! My crotch is itching! I’ll have to put down the dino for a sec to itch like MAD!

  141. Avatar Aidan says:

    OH LORD! YOU’RE HEAVY!OOOOOOOH! I’ll call you Jimmy! Yo yo yo Jimmy!

  142. Avatar Aidan says:


  143. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Mmmmm. Nothing like freshly squeezed dino juice.”

  144. Avatar Sol-leks says:

    7.i sure showed ozzy

  145. Avatar Neil Leslie says:

    Hey, look, everybody! I made a balloon . . . something.

  146. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I can’t believe I had to carry my zord all the way to Los Angeles. The Green Power Ranger will never let me hear the end of it.”

  147. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I wonder if Hannibal had days like this.”

    The general ofcourse, not the character from the lame movies, which were inspired by books.

  148. Avatar Fishpants says:

    12. Crap, you’re a LOAD-BEARING dinosaur???
    13. NOW can we teach evolution, y’all?
    14. Be a roadie for the STONES, they said. It’ll be FUN, they said.
    15. Let’s get you on that plane, Mr. Jagger.
    16. Hi, I’m a Mac, and this is a PC.

  149. Avatar Xstacy says:

    Can’t…find…the finish line…

  150. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    21. For show and tell today I brought my pet…

    22. ANOTHER restaurant we’re banned from. The waiters AREN’T APPETISERS!

  151. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Dinosaurs on faces. Hands in unusual places. These are a few of my faaa-vor-ite things.”

  152. Avatar Tal says:

    Just noticed the missing dinosaur arm, so:

    10) OMG! Your arm!
    11) Hold on, Barney!
    12) Bad Barney!

  153. Avatar godOfPLague says:


    2. ME Grimlock SorrY!

    3. Of All the partners Dancing With the stars gives me Dino

  154. Avatar godOfPLague says:


  155. Avatar kyle says: more barney the dinosaur
    2. look at my new hat carrying Barny home
    4.fatty fatty fatty
    5. im the worlds Dino weightlifter.
    6.yes you have put on some wight
    7.dude have you gotten strong
    8.time for you flu shot
    9.time to go to the dentist
    10. let me guess you wigh stronger then superman
    12. i dont ear anything
    13. say that you will do
    14.this the most weirdest toupee ever