Poll Position: The Kurgan Konundrum

There can be only one!


Discussion after the jump.

  • Captain America: Cap's big advantage here is that he's a great tactician and motivator. His best hope would be that he could motivate the remaining non-super-powered population to take up arms and help him defend the world. Given the DC Universe's much more positive and gung-ho patriotism to begin with, that might actually be very effective. He'd be starting from a deficit of not having the WWII history to create a pre-existing pool of goodwill, but on the other hand he'd be the only super-powered guy on our side. He's proven he can take on vast criminal enterprises like HYDRA in the Marvel Universe, and he's proven he can tangle with guys a lot more powerful than him, so this is actually a viable choice.
  • Dr. Strange: Strange is more comfortable with the darker side of sorcery than most of the magic-users in the DC Universe, so I think he'd be capable of standing up to the tougher bad guys. I regret that Zatana would not be around, though, because I'd love to see the expression on Doc's face the first time she belts out one of those silly rhymes. "By the Move-Busting Moon Walkers of Mooligoth!!"
  • Iron Man: The key question here is whether or not Tony gets to bring the power and resources of Stark Enterprises with him. My gut instinct is to say no -- you go through the wormhole or whatever it is with just you and whatever you're carrying. And they don't take Stark MasterCard in the DC Universe. He'd still have the knowledge that let him build up the company and the armor, though, and that might be enough. Granted, he'd have to deal with the DCU's stable of pre-existing techno-killers, but the armor's solid. If I were writing the series, of course, the first thing I'd tell him upon learning he was from an alternate dimension would be "I'm sorry Mr. Stark, but our world never invented alcohol. Or hookers."
  • Magneto: Magneto=bad-ass. I think he could dominate on any world, in any situation. He's proven in the past he can play the part of hero when required, and metal's metal no matter what universe you live in.
  • Professor Xavier: Again, I think like Cap, Professor X's big strength is in building groups of people to stand together against threats. He'd be able to identify other mutants, if any were to arise after the initial purge, and would probably prove adept at "turning" erstwhile villains to the Light Side.
  • Silver Surfer: The Power Cosmic rules. And if it gets to be too aggravating, he can whistle up Galactus to eat everyone, and to hell with it. What does Surfer care, there's no Shangri-La in this universe, anyway, screw Earth.
  • Thor: The God of Thunder can layeth the smackdown on pretty much anyone. His key weakness would be that he's much more physical than some of the other choices, and might not be up to putting together a broader coalition. On the other hand, he IS a leader and general in Asgard.
  • Wolverine: Worth it just to see him carve up Luthor.

Looking through all that, I'd probably have to say I'd go with Captain America, which surprises me because when I first put him on the list I thought he was a gimp. But he's such a great combination of inspiration and physical prowess, I think he'd be able to rally the country around him. Especially if we're talking about the Ultimate Cap version; that guy is a Man with a capital M.

Who would you pick?

15 Responses to Poll Position: The Kurgan Konundrum

  1. EnderX says:

    I like the points you made about Magneto, and wouldn’t mind seeing him in such a position, but it brings up a question.

    What’s his motivation?
    Think about it. Magneto, in the Marvel Universe, (at least for most of its/his existence) has the protection of all mutants as his main goal. If I understand the characterization correctly, he doesn’t really care about non-mutants except as possible threats to mutantkind. And you’ve just gotten rid of every known potential mutant in the DC universe, leaving only non-mutants behind. What motivation would he have for protecting the DC universe?

  2. Jeff Hebert says:

    Good question, EnderX. If I were writing the series, I actually think that’d be a really good plot point to play up the differences between the DC and Marvel Universes. In the DCU, mutants aren’t really segregated out from the general metahuman population. You don’t have human-mutant wars, you don’t have mutants hunted like Jews in Nazi Germany. Instead you have a society where mutants are just like any other metahuman — respected, looked up to, vital to the national defense. Heroes.

    What does a guy who’s spent his whole life fighting for a dream do when suddenly he’s thrust into a world where that dream is already a reality?

    That’s where you’d really get a chance to see what Magneto’s all about. Is he just a power-hungry megalomaniac who uses his “Brotherhood of Mutants” shtick to unleash his baser urges? Or was he truly a resistance fighter, a hero having to resort to desperate measures in the cause of freedom for his people? If the former, he’ll find some other excuse in the DCU to join forces with the bad guys. But if the latter, if he’s free to work out in the open as a figure of honor and trust in a society far better for his “people” than he could have dreamed of, he might just turn into the greatest hero the world has ever known.

    Something to think about, anyway.

  3. kryptkal says:

    Just a geek note: the Silver Sufer is from the planet Zenn-La, not the mystical valley of Shangri-La. Though I’m sure the similarity is intentional.

  4. Jeff Hebert says:

    Thanks for the catch, Kryptkal. I was in a hurry and messed up.

  5. kryptkal says:

    Personally I’d have to go with Iron Man. He’s my favorite and besides, Tony Stark has proved in the past that even with his company and finances stripped away, he can still carry on the fight and find the tools he needs. Like Lex Luthor he’s also a great businessman who has had to reclaim or remake his company and vast fortune many times over, and in good time. Besides, his engineering genius and various armors could take most everyone in the DC universe. Besides, who better to take on a Luthor devoid of the threat of Superman, than another genius businessman. Cap would be my next choice for all the resons you listed. Ultimates rock!

  6. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    I could envision Magneto trying to convince many other metahumans that they had let themselves become slaves to humanity’s baser needs and trying to upset the status quo for the sake of it – he is a resistance fighter, but I don’t think he could ever accept equality for himself. The dude just has too much fight in him to ever settle down and be happy. However in a DCU where all the heroes are gone, there would be noone serving humanities needs for Magneto to influence, and all the bad guy would probably be fighting some perversion of Magneto’s cause.

    Wolverine would suffer similar motivational problems in that he either a) wants to be left alone or B) ants to look out for his own – unless he latched on to another group/cause really quick upon arrival in DCU, he’d probably just go do hiw own thing until someone poked him directly.

    Professor X also has protectionist motives towards mutants, although still caring for other humans, would Prof X be as motivated ifthere weren’t other metahumans around for him to work with? Ironicaly, Prof X’s motivations are about as selfish as Magneto’s in that he primarily wants to work for the benefit of ‘his own people’, just taking the co-existence path with humanity rather than dominance. Unleee he was seriously horrified by what he saw the DCU villains doing, he might not be as motivated to protect the people either.

    What little I know of the Silver Surfer puts him in a precarious position too – does Galactus exist in the DCU? If it’s an alternate dimension then the very cosmic forces that Galactus is manifestation of might not exist, therefore no world eater. Would the surfer still be a hero without Galactus’ whip cracking overhead? or would he use his cosmic power to go visit the alternate dimension version of his homeworld and try to establish a more normal life? or, like so many who have been enslaved, would he go a bit power hungry upon finding himself free and start kicking butt of his own accord?

    I have a feeling that the very situation of removing all the heroes from the DCU would thrust any othe rhero into such an unusual situation that their actions would be nigh unpredictable given the backlog of contradictory and ret-conned versions of them that contribute towards their meta-psychology.

    The only one who could be counted on to be a hero for heroism’s sake would eb Captain America – and that’s because he’s alwasy seemed to me to be a fairly 2D character.

  7. Jose Inoa says:

    Heck, I’d follow Cap headlong into the heart of Apokolips, if they existed.

  8. The Imp says:

    Although for sheer coolness factor I’d say Magneto, I think it really depends on how long the ‘no superheroes’ situation lasts in the DCU. Is it permanent, or just until the next generation grows up? In other words, can there ever be ‘homegrown’ supers in the DCU again, or are they gone for good? If they’re gone for good, I’d pick Iron Man for the simple reason that his powers/technology/financial savvy/etc. can be passed on and replicated. Everyone else on the list is a kind of one-shot deal. Sure, they’re awesomely powerful and all, but they’re just one man. What happens when they die of old age? With Iron Man, you could have new Iron Men every generation taking over the job.

    Of course, if this whole shebang is just temporary, then I vote for Magneto. 😀

  9. William A. Peterson says:

    I have to go with the Surfer…
    The Power Cosmic is about the only thing that would be able to deal with all the heavy-duty Megathreats out there…
    Cap’s cool, and all, but what’s he going to do against Darkseid?

  10. DJ says:

    I voted for Thor. He and Silver Surfer I think are the only two that would be able to hold their own really against some of DC’s bigger villains like Darkseid or Doomsday. I would pay to see Thor fight Doomsday.

  11. Jose Inoa says:

    Cap would reverse the polarity of Darkseid through sheer willpower and thus return the DC Super Heroes back into existence. How? The super-soldoier serum’s the 1up on Bats here, right? That, and I’m just using the “p.o.’d Conan can brutalize his way through Hell just to knock Hades’ noggin off” tried and true theory.

    Then Darkseid’s original dna magically returns him to our regularly scheduled reconstituting continuity… That jerk!

  12. Xstacy says:

    Dr Strange can do just about anything, if he’s got some prep time. Plus, he could transition easily to the now-vacant Wayne Manor, being used to mansions and having his own personal servant (not to mention being a high-handed jerk, as Batman often seems to be portrayed in this decade; I guess that doesn’t make him special anymore thoug, since half the Marvelites warped into high-handed jerks during Civil War, and I’m not sure most of them ever made it back).

  13. Frankie says:

    Ironman for the reasons already stated.

    Silver Surfer because he’s at the “can do anything” power level that Superman’s at. Now, in the DCU, Superboy Prime, having been born in an alternate reality, is not vulnerable to the regular reality’s magic or Kryptonite. So, would Silver Surfer have his powes that were bestowed upon him by Galactus?

  14. Cavalier says:

    Captain America – interesting, and someone I’ve really liked, but not as much use in a world facing so many heavy-hitters. Dark Seid has a long history of humbling ‘mere’ mortals.

    Dr. Strange – hinges on his ability to call upon the same dimensional energies/entities. If so then he would be a good, but not the best, choice.

    Iron Man – could work very well once he has access to a good lab. His ability to make special suits would prove invaluable, especially if he built Guardsman armor for assistance.

    Magneto – would be fun to see in a world without mutant problems. He’d probably start agitating for mutant superiority and end up as a villain/fringe. Good power set and level, but probably wouldn’t be used for good.

    Professor Xavier – What happens to a dream achieved? The integration of mutants would probably leave him without an obvious cause. He would still help, but really does need a team for the heavy work.

    Silver Surfer – certainly has the power level to protect the DCU, but I dismiss him because it’s just ridiculous seeing him fly around on a surfboard. It’s just too 80’s.

    Thor – is my pick. Combines a level of power with a sense of duty. Can go toe-to-toe with most anyone, but still smart and skilled enough to go ‘around’ problems.

    Wolverine – is purely for fan-boys. High-level villains regularly toss him around unless a teammate can distract them.

  15. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    I must have had a blindspot to Thor when I first reasd the poll.

    Everything I’ve said previously is replaced with “Thunder God for the win.”

    Forget power levels and a sense of duty, the guy has pigtails and carriers a massive hammer. A better combo for a heroic image their never was!