Put your thinking cap on, because if you can come up with the best replacement dialog for this comic book panel, you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) from professional artist Jeff Hebert:
The rules are simple: leave your entry in the comments to this post; no more than three entries per person; and keep it relatively clean.
Good luck, everyone! You can see past winners' prizes here, and I'll be posting more in the next few days.
1. Sorry, that’s not the safeword!
2. Where’s that ickle nosey?
3. We think it’s jugular calcification.
1) Good. Now can you read the letters on the bottom row?
1.Out of my way. They have cheese.
2. Hmm… I guess you aren’t Micheal Jackson.
2) Smell my new girlfriend.
3) You’re wrong! CATS is the best musical EVER!
1. “Baby face… you got the cutest lil baby face!”
2. “Whose Got yer nose?”
3. “You have eye boogies, let me help”
Dude. Tic-Tac. Seriously.
1. For the last time, no means no.
2. There…NOW you look like deathstroke.
3. Stupid superglue.
1. How dare you make fun of MY headgear.
2. Dude, full face bandanas are so last year.
3. All your face are belong to us.
1. guess what my other hand is doing!
2. blindness – his one weakness!
3. Wow this mask is so… soft
1 “talk to the hand”
2 “And the super villin is….OLD MAN WILSON!?”
3 “ill show u my face if u show me yers.”
1] Bad Hulk! Hulk no smash!
2] I said I don’t kiss until the third date.
3] Feel the wrath of the Hand of Midas!
1) Bad news: The toilet paper’s out.
2) Zed? It’s Maynard. The spider just caught a new fly..
Better, or worse?
Is this a Prada???
Cat got your tongue??
Yo what do you mean, feces throwing isn’t a super power!!
1) A wiseguy, eh? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…
Is that silk? I’m so, like, mad at you!
Are you using turtle wax? you cheat!
See! I am shiner then you!
Oh, I see it, it’s just an eyelash in there!
I think the other hole is behind your ear…
1) Good thing I’m an excellent bowler!
2) Wait! Whose arm is grabbing your face?
3) Hmm… I know that chin…
This is Ultimate Fighting, man–eye gouging’s legal!
Another Liefeld panel? My eyes! My eyes!
1. Oooooh! Is that suede?
2. Take it off so I can kiss you, sweet guy.
3. You’ve got some bad chafing here.
1. Take me to bed or lose me forever!
2. Hey! An Eyeball!
Hey, a little privacy, I’m still on the john!
1. Found a zit!
2. Peek-a-boo, I see you.
3. You know contact lenses would help those eyes
Dude, that’s my underpants on your face…..
1. Sorry man… you’re just not my type.
2. Well, you can’t eat waffles with THAT mask…
 Gently! You’ll ruin the finish!
 Purple looks way better on ME, toots!
 Smell it. Smell it! NOW TAKE IT!
1. Take a Prozac!
2. I don’t want a “Watchtower”!
3. Somebody’s face is red.
3) If I pull here, that should straighten that awful neck out.
1) Nyuk! Nyuk!
1) There. Now you can see, right?
2) Hmmm, maybe if I poke here…….
3) Wow, if your eye is like this I really don’t care to see the rest of the face.
1)You have pretty eyes
2)Look at me in the eye and say your sorry
3)You know masks are so pro wrestling geez
1. Ooooh! It’s moist…
2. Okay baby, now turn your head and cough.
3. Is that a bundle of twigs on your neck or are you just happy to see me?
“So many pouches.”
Hmm…It really is silky smooth!
“Oops. You have some schmutz in your eye.”
“No, but you can give me a face.”
Perhaps if you’d put holes in the mask BEFORE, you wouldn’t have knocked everything down…
I don’t care if Heidi and Giselle ARE your favorites, the models’ dressing rooms are STILL off limits…
1.)I think you should see a doctor… I think I see an extra muscule or two
2.) Those sure are some big shoulder pads, good thing they won’t, like go out of style in a few years.
3.) Super Lame 90’s Face Grab!
There’s something in your eye… Oh, it’s my finger.
Hold still, damn it! I can’t put your contact in if you keep moving!
I see your schwartz is as big as mine!
Ooooo what does this button do?
YOU CAN’T SEE THIS!
HA I PWNED YOU SUKKA!
I can’t get your eye booger if you dont stay still!!!
1 guess where my hand has been. go on guess
2 smell it! smell it!
3 you know if my hand is bigger than your face you have a disease.
1. SCOOBY Hep me get this mask off him!!!!
2. Ssh ssh ssh Let ME talk for you!
3. [redacted by Management.]
1.) “Hey, it’s not MY fault if you didn’t notice that your gimp mask was missing the mouth zipper!”
2.) “Note to self: Cut out eyeholes in mask BEFORE putting it on.”
3.) “Shhh… Don’t worry, baby–I feel the same way, too. What say you and I go back to my place, and we can reload our ammo pouches together?”
36 right…16 left…3 right JACKPOT! YOUR FACE.
Oh wise guy eh?
You never had a deep tissue massage on your face?
1. no, not on the first date.
2.let me get that off your face for you.
3.poor thing you got sleep in your eye
2: I smell… AXE
3: Now we remove the wax… and your as smooth as a baby’s bottom!
1: How can you look into these eyes and then not… STAB THEM!
2: No! He knows my one weakness! A magnet mask!
3: Guess what I do with this hand!
a) No Fool… That’s my balaclava! You left yours in the car!
b) Talk to the hand!
1 i just love this mask! is this goochie?!
2 hey dude smell my finger.
3 taste the golden hand of shmoopy!
“C’mon, we watched that episode of Star Trek together! You know this’ll work if you just hold still.”