Caption Contest 31: Skullaciousness

Your chance to win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) has arrived once again, provided you're the one to come up with the best dialog to fill the empty balloon in this panel:


The rules are simple, and the prize will be provided by professional illustrator Jeff Hebert (that's me -- see here for previous winners' prizes):

  1. No more than three entries per person;
  2. Keep it clean, appropriate for broadcast TV;
  3. Leave your entry in the comments to this post.

Good luck, everyone! Oh, and let me dispense with the obligatory "Heeeeeeeere's Johnny!" and "KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!" entries forthwith 🙂

46 Responses to Caption Contest 31: Skullaciousness

  1. Frankie says:

    “You know what happens when you flush your goldfish down the toilet? They come back thirty years later as some horrible, giant, mutated beast. The same thing happens to your sperm.”

    I hope that’s not too dirty.

  2. thejay says:

    Only the most faithful and devout of our acolytes shall be rewarded with dominion of this puny planet… come forth, Mr. Tom Cruise!

  3. thejay says:

    Uncle sperm wants YOU!

  4. Whit says:

    Who needs eyes when you’ve got a great bod!

  5. Frankie says:

    “Tell me, where can I find this Jack the beanstalk killer. I’m gonna murderize him.”

  6. The Imp says:

    “Just a gigolo, everywhere I go, people stop and talk about me; I-iiii ain’t got no body…”

  7. Ian says:

    1. I’m John McCain, and I approved this message, my friends.

    2. Shouldn’ta eaten that last taco, bub.

    3. Remember, kids! Toothy McDevilface says to floss regularly!

  8. Jasper says:

    1. “Oh boy, oh boy I finally get to play Gordi!

    2. “More Botox!!!”

    3. “Do I have any virgin stuck in my teeth?”

  9. The Imp says:

    “You’ve heard of tunnel-vision, right? Well, this is portcullis-vision!”

  10. Rick says:

    Judge Living Snot is the name!

  11. Rick says:

    You were expecting something else when he said pull my finger?

  12. Rick says:

    Ghost bust this big boy

  13. Danny Beaty says:

    1. Hi! I’m one of Clive Barker’s sperm!
    2. I’m living proof that Cenobites masturbate!
    3. Think this is bad; you should see the other end!

  14. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
    Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
    Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
    I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus,
    Coo coo, kachoo.

  15. TheNate says:

    Dirty mouth? Clean it with new Orbit Breath of Death chewing gum.

  16. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    An alternative to the above entry would be –

    “I am the walrus, MoFo, WOOO!”

  17. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    and third…

    Hi kids, when conquering other dimensions its best to first subvert and destabilise the political and social structure of your target. Our favourite tactic is to assist the rise of corrupt and stupid leadership in a society.

    Vote McCain/Palin in November.

  18. haz says:

    Come back! Come back! I’ll bite you to death!

  19. Scott says:

    1.Let’s put a smile on that face

    2.hey kids it’s smile time!

    3.It’ not easy being green

  20. DJ says:

    “Mentos! The fresh maker!”

    “That 4th dentist was wrong..Trident really does work!”


  21. Kaldath says:

    I may be just another hideously ugly, monstrous blob, but as you can see I have a perfect smile thanks to the dental referral system of 1800dentist!!!

  22. Gregg says:

    1. Does this eye-grate make me look fat?
    2. I’m Jared and I lost 435 pounds eating at Subway!
    3. Of course I don’t floss regularly, I don’t have any stinkin’ hands!

  23. Frankie says:

    So, you don’t like broccoli Jeff? Well that’s what your gonna eat for all eternity. Mwah ha-ha-ha!

  24. John D says:

    1. “My name is Kirstie Alley and I lost 975 pounds on Jenny Craig!”

    2.” Hello My Baby, Hello my honey, Hello ,y ragtime gaaaal!”

    3. (in a Daffy Duck voice “You’re Despicable!!!”

  25. TheNate says:

    What did you expect from a blind date?

  26. Whit says:

    (2) I may be your worst nightmare, but I’m a dentist’s dream.

  27. Meg says:

    These spikes be all up in my grill!

  28. Xstacy says:

    Hey, are you gonna eat that?

  29. Level says:

    Thanks for the lift, not everyone in North Dakota’s gunna pick up a hitchhiker wearin’ a bucket on his head.

  30. Kaldath says:

    Hello, I’m Chomper, Evil brother of the Lovable Slimer! Look for me in the up coming Ghostbusters III !!!

  31. arr333 says:

    1. Now it’s time to take over the world!

    2. How’s my hair?

    3. Watch the pounds melt away with Nutrisystem.

  32. Cory says:

    1. Trick or Treat,
    Smell my Feet,
    Give me Something Good to Eat,
    If You Don’t, I Don’t Care,

    (little giants reference….anybody…anybody?)

    3. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice….haha, always wanted to say that!

    (and for the record I usually use the KHAAAN! comment, so thanks for ruining my day Jeff)

  33. Jeff Hebert says:

    Happy to help, Cory!

  34. Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1. Im Tom Cruise, and i have been diagnosed with type 2 Herpes

    2.Who needs a hot bod when ive got a KILLER smile!!?

    3.Remeber kids, this is what happens to you when u dont wash ur face!

  35. Jester says:

    1. THIS is you on crack!
    2. Excuse me, do I have something in my teeth? No, closer. Closer…
    3. Dirty mouth? Clean it up with new Orbit White!

  36. The Imp says:

    “Hell-o? I’m a living skull attached to a disturbingly fleshy tendril, and all you can comment on is my ‘fro?”

  37. The Icedaemon says:

    Imagining this… thing as a chatterbox is fun:
    “And then she was like ‘woah’ and I was like ‘yeah’. That was awesome. And do you remember when…”

    “Colgate Rad – guaranteed 100% clean, 100% white teeth. [tiny font] side effects include spontaneous mutation, skin cancer, desire to wear impractical headgear, death, photosynthesis…[/tiny font]”

  38. DerKork says:

    1) No Body to hurt, Dredd!
    2) Thank you Mr. Laser-Zap-Your-Vision. Vision impaired, I’d say.
    3) I’m not a facehugger – just their uncle.

  39. Jose Inoa says:

    1) You can’t KILL – what is already DEEEAAAAD!!!
    2) Fat boy, when I gits through witcha, yer only gonna serve EIGHT ta TWELVE!
    3) I just need to make a PHONE CALL!!

  40. Loki says:

    1-the Bule sky will gloom up! Just put on a creepy face!
    2-I’m now…Fully Headless Nick!

  41. Fishpants says:

    1. The Black Sperm always triumphs!

    2. Hi, I’m Ted. I’m looking for another fungus who’s into steampunk and interested in a long-term commitment, maybe one day releasing some spores together.

    3. Sure baby, I’m the smoke-monster thing from Lost…you wanna go for a ride in my Prius?

  42. Bek says:

    (yeah boy)

  43. Ballin' Boy says:

    1. (And now a moment in the life of Lil’ Jon) What? What? What? WHAT? Yeeaahh! OOOOKKKK!

    2. Hi I’m agent Skull-y. I’m with the FBI. Have you seen anything out of the ordinary today?

    3. Hello I am Jose Jalapeno, but no longer am I on de steek!

    I also wanted to do a Michel Phelps line or a Show me the money, but oh well.

  44. Xstacy says:

    Who do you think you are, getting all up in my grill?

  45. Xstacy says:

    (Final entry…)

    TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad?

  46. Neil Leslie says:

    I’m . . . TOOTHY!

    (Sorry, I got nothin’ 🙂 )