Caption Contest 23: Maximum Haberdashery!

Haven't you ever wondered what goes through the mind of one of Jack Kirby's characters as they dress up in whatever outlandish outfit Jack designed for them? Well now's your chance to find out! Come up with the best caption for the comic book panel below and, if your entry is selected, you’ll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason)!


Be sure to note in your entry which balloon gets what dialog. For instance:

Balloon1: By Odin, the women at church this week will have to admit that my hat is best! And if not ...
Balloon2: I BLAST THEM!!

As always, the rules are simple: Only three entries per person, put your dialog in the comments to this post, and keep it relatively clean (as in, appropriate for a broadcast TV sitcom).

Good luck everyone!

48 Responses to Caption Contest 23: Maximum Haberdashery!

  1. Avatar The Grizz says:

    balloon 1: Why do people laugh at my name?
    balloon 2: Everybody fears the one eyed monster!

  2. Avatar Jester says:

    1. Balloon 1: I spy with my little eye… JUMPING JINGLEBELLS!
    Balloon 2: Does my hat really look that stupid?!

    2. Balloon 1: YES! With my recently aqquired headwear, I’m sure to win my rightful place on Jeff’s blog!
    Balloon 2: “Bad Super Hero Costumes”, here I come!

  3. Avatar Runt82 says:

    1. Balloon 1: Okay, everybody stop what you’re doing…
    Balloon 2: I’ve lost my contact lens.

  4. Avatar Runt82 says:

    2. Balloon 1: Soon, everyone will fear the name of…
    Balloon 2: One-Eyed Willy!

  5. Avatar DJ says:

    Balloon 1: For the last time you annoying twit…
    Balloon 2: MY NAME IS NOT SAURON!

  6. Avatar Deadeas says:

    Balloon 1: There’s only one thing that can stop that madman…


  7. Avatar Runt82 says:

    3. Balloon 1: Damn you LensCrafters!
    Balloon 2: You said my eyepiece would be ready in an hour or less.

  8. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    1st panel: With the world’s most powerful microscope on my head, I head out on my quest…
    2nd panel:…to find George Bush’s brain!
    1st panel: I bought it on eBay…
    2nd panel: …don’t judge me!
    1st panel: Compensation? What are you ta-
    2nd panel: Hey…

  9. Avatar Ian says:

    1. Balloon 1: S’all right?
    Balloon 2: S’all right.

    2. Balloon 1: I demand a cheeseburger and a large orange drink!
    Balloon 2: And I demand fries and somebody else’s head to perch upon!

    3. Balloon 1: Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na HATMAN!
    Balloon 2: Please! For the love of all that’s holy! Somebody call my agent!


  10. Avatar Rick says:

    Balloon 1: Do you see what I see?…
    Balloon 2: …Do you see what I see?…
    Back to balloon 1: Yes you idiot! Same Eye!

  11. Avatar Rick says:

    Balloon 1: Can you see me now?
    Balloon 2: ….Good.

  12. Avatar Rick says:

    Balloon 1: I am…LIBERAYCHIZ!
    Balloon 2: Feel the heat of my glare!

  13. Avatar Syzyx says:

    Balloon 1: With the might of the Lens of Opti-Max I will never be mocked again!
    Balloon 2: I’m still your hat and you are still talking to me.

    Balloon 1: Though blinded, I have might beyond imagination!
    Balloon 2: Yeah. But I have to sit around on your head looking like this.

    Balloon 1: I must never again let me villainy be subsidized…
    Balloon 2: Only two more years, then Wise will feel my wrath!

  14. Avatar frankie says:

    First balloon: “….um,…the first one. The first one is better. Hmmm, the one on the right. Is better.”

    Second balloon: “Ummmm….hmmmm……………Um……yeah, they’re about the same.”

  15. Avatar frankie says:

    Balloon number1: “What? Noone? Noone shall take me to the masqurade ball? Then perish. All of you by the might of the Optical Shaman.”

    Balloon number2: “Eee-nuk-chuk. No, wait. Meka-leka-hi-meka….wait, I’ll get it. Sim-sim-salla… Blast! How do you work this infernal thing?”

  16. Avatar frankie says:

    Balloon1: “Yes, now I can get tv, the internet and telephone all for one low monthly rate. Bah! I say to satelite tv and dial up internet.”

    Balloon2: “Today, my studio apartment. Tomorrow, the world.”

  17. Avatar LiveWyre14 says:

    First bubble: They will all scream for…
    Second bubble: EYE-SCREAM!!!

    First bubble: What do you mean I my helmet isn’t HD compatible!!!
    Second bubble: Damn you digital cable!!!

    First bubble: First came the bi-focals, then tri-focals, but behold…
    Second bubble: the GIANORMOUSO-FOCALS!!! patent pending.

  18. Avatar HeroComplex says:

    balloon1: All fear the might of-
    Balloon2: the human… beer… opener…? what the hell Jack?

  19. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. Balloon 1: You say tomato, I say tomahto…
    Balloon 2: You say potato, I say potahto…
    2. Balloon 1: How am I supposed to see with that light in my eye?
    Balloon 2: How can you talk with no mouth?
    3. Balloon 1: You are watching CBS.
    Balloon 2: Will you please quit saying that!

  20. Avatar John D says:

    Balloon 1: Darn that cheap health insurance!
    Balloon 2: I should’ve gone to Lenscrafters.

  21. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    The Grizz came off the blocks with a pearler! well done!

    I’m stumped for the moment – all I can think of is dick jokes.

  22. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    Baloon 1: Internets grant me powersz!
    Balloong 2: Now Big Eye is Big!

  23. Avatar DJ says:

    Balloon 1:And I..I..will always love

    Balloon 1:Its about to fall! Its about to fall!
    Balloon 2: Man..Now I know how the Pope feels wearing that giant hat.

  24. Avatar Dude says:

    Balloon 1: Talk about your custom frames from Lenscrafters!
    Balloon 2: Talk about your custom head from Headcrafters!

  25. Avatar Ragtime says:

    Balloon 1: This implant will prove to Katie Couric that my love for her CBS Newscasts is pure and true!

    Balloon 2: Now, let’s incinerate Brian Williams and Charlie Gibson!

  26. Avatar Kaiju says:

    1)I dont know who the hell Im yelling at but…..

    2)YOUR ALL MORONS!!!!!

  27. Avatar Zorbas the awesome says:

    B-1 : By my bright and siny eye helmet! i shall…………

    B-2 : See things?

  28. Avatar JonnyDemon says:

    ballon1:Why,why,WHY… ballon2:…didn’t I just get the lasik surgery!

  29. Avatar JonnyDemon says:

    ballon1:C’mon baby daddy needs a new pair of shoes! ballon2:Aw,snakes eyes.

  30. Avatar JonnyDemon says:

    ballon1:That hat is all the rage,everyone will want one! ballon2:Liar,eat hot ocular death!

  31. Avatar Xx Duckz xX says:

    Balloon1: awww, man! I got peanut butter on my new hat!
    Balloon2: Sir.. Umm exscuse me sir but, can you help me get the smudge on my hat?!

  32. Avatar captkodytyler says:

    Balloon 1: Dear God, it finally works!
    Balloon 2: I can now look into the windows of young women from as far away as Pittsburgh!

    Balloon 1: I’ll show him, thinks he’s so cool, he has nothing on me.
    Balloon 2: Eat this Cyclops.

    Balloon 1: I can see clearly now that blimp is gone.
    Balloon 2: Now finally my stargazing can begin.
    Both: It’s gonna be a bright, bright, bright, sun shiny da-a-ay.

  33. Avatar Rensje says:

    Balloon 1: “Let me see, Kirby! Let me see!”
    Balloon 2: “Sorry Jack, I can’t do that right now.”

  34. Avatar Xstacy says:

    Balloon1: Dude, I can’t believe how many Jager bombs we–

    Balloon2: What’s this thing on my head?

  35. Avatar Sam B says:

    Balloon 1: BEHOLD! My all seeing eye.
    Balloon 2: I see another caption contest loss.


    Balloon 1: Has anybody seen my eye?
    Balloon 2: You have got to be kidding me!

  36. Avatar AKERUZAKI MAN says:

    Balloon 1: Bight my shiny metal iris!

    Balloon 1:do Eye make it that easy to create puns?

  37. Avatar DerKork says:

    Balloon 1: I am the All-Seeing Eye.
    Balloon 2: Okay, I’m just the walking periscope in disguise.

  38. Avatar EnderX says:

    Balloon 1: Augh! Something’s in my eye!
    Balloon 2: GetitoutgetitoutGETITOUT!

  39. Avatar Bixlord says:

    1) Suck it Stevie Wonder!
    2) Your music will never give you what super science has given me.

  40. Avatar Bixlord says:

    1) Hold on…
    2) Yeah, I just had an idea.

  41. Avatar Bixlord says:

    1) Fear not the hat.
    2) Fear the rightious hand of Turd Furgeson!!!

  42. Avatar Jester says:

    Balloon 2: For that fee I can get tinted lenses AND bifocals? Awesome, sign me up!

  43. Avatar The Imp says:

    balloon 1: It’s the big glowing eye, isn’t it?

    balloon 2: A little too much?

  44. Avatar The Bean says:

    Balloon 1: Wait just a minute…this isn’t like Batman’s mask at all…
    Balloon 2: DAMN YOU MAD HATTER! You’ll pay for this!

    Balloon 1: Hey…this arent’ my clothes.!
    Balloon 2: That’s it – NO MORE TEQUILA!

    Balloon 1: No, you fools…
    Balloon 2: I said “iPod,” not “EYE pod!”

  45. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    balloon 1: Thanks to this disco ball, I’ll always have
    balloon 2: DISCO FEVER!

  46. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Balloon 1: Not Slytherin not Slytherin
    Balloon 2: Very well, GRYFFINDOR!

  47. Avatar collex says:

    Ballon 1: I see, I see…
    Ballon 2 Absolutly nothing because that damn helmet cover my eyes!

    Ballon 1: Hahaha now EYE CAN SEE YOU
    Ballon 2: Wow man, that was cliché!

    Ballon 1: I don,t know doctor.
    Ballon 2: You are sure contact lens aren’t IN anymore?

  48. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    balloon 1: Hey down there I have to go #2
    balloon 2: OH NO YOU DON’T!