Come up with the most creative caption for this captured comic and win your very own custom black and white illustration by a professional artist of whatever you like (within reason)!

As always, the rules are 1) keep it suitable for a broadcast sitcom, 2) a limit of three entries per person, and 3) leave your entry in the comments to this post.
A sample entry might be:
panel1: So this is how you like your wall art, eh?
panel2: Yes, well hung.
Good luck everyone!
here we see the fossilized remains of a man waiting for his girlfriend at the mall
left girl: “Is that art? Looks so life-like.”
right girl: “Yeah, and he’s napping again. Art! Wake up!”
Left panel:
And this… is our most popular Pleasure Clone model…
Hung-Lo 02!
Right Panel: Does he come with a money back guarantee?
Having just yesterday experienced the pain of the first entry, I laugh the laugh of the knowing. #2 is damn clever, though. Bravo to the first two entries.
left panel:ya mum is so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck
right panel: hahah that is so funny
left panel:ya mum is so fat seh dosent need broadband she is worldwide
right panel: OMG THAT IS MUCH FUNNIER THAN THE ONE BEFORE ahahahahahah llo
panel 1: “How much will this peace cost?”
panel 2: “OH! That’s not for sale, that’s my butler!”
Left panel: You know, they just don’t make men like they used to. What do you think, sis?
Right Panel: Yumm….
left panel: Ooh, Does HE come with the apartment?
right panel: He’s the landlord!
I like DerKork’s entry, not like I have any say in it lol
Left Panel: A perfect specimen, designed by the smartest scientists around. There is none better.
Right Panel: Does he come in a bigger size?
Balloon 1: “Floyd, when we said you should relax a little and let it all hang out, this is NOT what we meant!”
Balloon 2: “Seriously!”
Balloon 1: “What’s HIS problem?”
Ballon 2: “He’s pouting because I told him he’d have to do his OWN laundry.”
Balloon 1: “Where did you get him?”
Balloon 2: “I made him in Heromachine 11.4”
Lady one: “Oh, him? That’s just my brother. He has the ability to hover about five feet or so over the ground. But he says he can only do it while naked and meditating.”
Lady two: “I see…He dosn’t go out and try to fight crime, does he?”
Balloon 1: “And this is the Invisible Man.”
Balloon 2: “He doesn’t seem to have his stuff anymore.”
Left: It’s times like this I wish we weren’t lesbians.
Right: Maybe we could make an exception…
left: Our milkshakes sure brought all the boys to the yard…
right: Um… yeah…
Left : Oh, don’t tell me you got this new husband-bot model!
Right: This? Oh no, this is just my son playing with the Speed-Aging Machine.
(First entry. Probably bad but well…)
Balloon 1: You know, if you’re not going to change the No-Pest strip, you could at least feed the poor guy.
Balloon 2: Yeah, yeah…
Balloon 1: Lois, please take him back. He’s been like this ever since you two divorced.
Balloon 2: Clark??
Balloon 1: And you said that buying adhesive wallpaper was a stupid idea! Now I never have to wonder if they’re going to call the next day!
Balloon 2: Wow…
Left Girl: Dad, we’re get that you like to wear stockings, but do you have to do it while hovering naked over the balcony?
Right Girl: I can never show my face at school again.
Panel 1: What an exquisite picture! I see you have a taste for SiCardo’s post-modern impressionism and her ability to subtly display man’s deep, thoughtful nature, without subtracting from his unashamed masculinity.
Panel 2:…Actually I just like pictures of naked guys…
Panel 1: Dude?
Panel 2: ……Dude.
Panel 1: Didn’t that painting have clothes on the last time I was here?
Panel 2: um… no.
Panel 1: I told him if he didn’t smarten up I would nail his ass to the wall.
Panel 2: Is that where the nail is?
Here’s my entry for “Caption Contest#13.
First balloon: He’s trying levitate and make himself invisible.
Second balloon: One out of two ain’t bad.
Let me correct that.
First balloon : He’s trying to levitate and make himself invisible.
Second balloon: One out of two ain’t bad.