The last few panels might not have been the best for good lines, so this week I'm offering you a choice. The best caption for either of these two panels wins a free custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason). Hopefully one of the two at least will appeal to you and inspire something great. And even though there are two panels, there will be just one winner -- whatever caption is funniest wins, with the other panel doomed to a captionless existence forever. How sad!
Here's your first option:

A sample caption might be "I said do NOT feed the animals to the plants!"
And here's the second one:

A sample caption here might be:
Balloon1: I think this faux finish bullet hole motif is gonna look great in this room!!
Balloon2: I wonder what "faux" means?
As always, the rules are 1) keep it suitable for a broadcast sitcom, 2) a limit of three entries per person, and 3) leave your entry in the comments to this post.
Good luck everyone!
For the first panel:
Bubble: ♪ ♫ They may offer you fortune and fame, love and money and instant acclaim, but whatever they offer you, don’t feed the plants.♪
Oops about the box there.
For the first panel:
♪ ♫ I’m a mean, green mother from…♪ ♫ Whaddya mean I don’t get the part!?!
First panel:
Hmm…tastes like chicken.
Second Panel:
Balloon1: “Hello class. Welcome to the Do’s and Don’t’s of Firearm Use for the Modern Individual.
Balloon2: Don’t weild a loaded weapon if you are prone to having siezure’s.
Second Panel:
Balloon 1: “Die, roaches!”
Balloon 2: “Just DIE!”
Panel 1:
…Tooey, that’s disgusting.
Panel 1:
“In this long-lost work, we see Georgia O’Keefe losing patience with subtlety.”
For the first panel:
“Watch as the Green Lantern Corps are decimated by their new masters – the Gardenias of the Universe!”
For the second panel:
Balloon 1: “Damn these flying Bams!”
Balloon 2: “They’re so fast I can’t shoot ’em!”
First Panel:
This time, plants bite back in…
REVENGE AGAINST THE VEGETARIANS!!
Second:
#1- I can’t even shoot straight!!
#2- I knew I shouldn’t have ordered that Starbucks Venti brewed coffee before a shoot out!
number 1 i told mom greens arent good for us
number two box 1 hey betty i thought he had a club box two look barney hes a teen now and all teens need guns
Sorry, I put in the wrong email address before… so here
Picture 1: Balloon 1: You could’ve picked a better place to puke after that roller coaster!?
Picture 2: Balloon 1: Johnny, I warned you to get those taxes to me on time!!! But now, it’s time to collect!
Picture 2: Balloon 2: There goes your fine china!
first panel
Guy: What happens when you tell Madonna that her last album was awful…
Panel 1:
“Do you belive me now when I said bonsais don’t growp up this big??”
Panel 2:
Balloon 1: “JUST DIE DIRTY BAST…!!!”
Balloon 2: “Oops… kids, ask before shooting”
Fist panel:
WARNING!! Highly Dangerous! Do Not Approach Man-Eating Plants! Stay Away! Extremely….well fine, don’t listen to anything I say. Do what you want, I don’t care if you get eaten, it’s your life.
Second panel:
First balloon: “Now, when I say ‘shoot,’ you all start firing and shake your bootay. And when I say ‘stop,’ you all stop on a dime.”
Second balloon: “Shoot. Now stop. Shoot. And stop. Now shoot…”
First Panel:
Entry 1: “AUDREY! NOOOOO!”
Entry 2: “I told you Martha Setwart would get her revenge!”
Entry 3: “BRUCE! STOP EXPOSING EVERYTHING TO GAMMA RAYS!”
Second Panel
Entry 1:
Balloon 1: ..oh yeah! Well I’ll give you this entire load!
Balloon 2: ..whose premature NOW!
Entry 2:
Balloon 1: “Are YOU talking to ME? Are you TALKING to me?”
Balloon 2: “Whaddaya mean, ‘its been done’?”
Entry 3:
Balloon 1: DAD! Look at this cool noise maker I found! BAM! BAM! BAM!
Balloon 2: D..Dad?