This week's "Random Monday Mashup", wherein I take one (and only one) panel from ten randomly chosen comic books to try and make a story, features the adventures of Baja Wally, sex-ed teacher from the future. Plus roller skaters!
Mr. Creepy walks home from an adult movie he has just screened with a new-met young friend, who is discussing the film's starlet:
"Like what films?" Mr. Creepy's friend asks.
Continuing his pedantic rage-fueled rant, Mr. Creepy recounts the plot of the film they'd indeed seen just a few short minutes before, about a sex ed instructor named Baja Wally who invents a large-and-in-charge laser heat boyfriend robot of, ah, a certain size.
The students in his sex-ed class are duly impressed, male and female alike:
Unfortunately the inventor, Baja Wally, isn't as experienced a controller as the robot body's overgenerous proportions might promise, and he quickly panics:
Alas, Baja Wally does indeed intensify the rebound effect with explosive, catastrophic results, destroying his sex-ed robot, and leading to a long class debate that ultimately sends one of the students into a fit of rage!
The passion spreads to more and more students, who come up with their own solutions:
And grapple together they do, trading costumes as fast as they do classmates, up to and including both a bad cravat and an even worse leather mask:
Ringing the doorbell is none other than the kids from Skateboarding Swingers 101 down the hall, looking for a good time!
Eventually Baja Wally repairs his robot and everyone earns an "A" that year, including Mr. Creepy's fine, young, Baja-Wally-Robot-Sized young friend, so all's well that ends well!
Notes and References:
The issues from which the above images are taken are, in order:
- "Amazing Heroes", No. 111, ©1987, Fantagraphics Books, Inc. This book is a challenge for these Mash-Ups, as it's essentially a black and white magazine about the comic book industry at the time, featuring interviews, previews, reviews, and so on without a story at all.
- "Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight", No. 33, ©1992, DC Comics, Inc.
- "The Heckler", No. 1, ©1992, DC Comics, Inc. This character is a Keith Giffen-drawn wisecracking super a la Bugs Bunny and The Creeper. There's a very Steve Ditko vibe to the whole thing.
- "Amazing Heroes", No. 104, ©1986, Fantagraphics Books, Inc.
- "Zot!", No. 1, ©1984, Eclipse Enterprises. Zot was created by Scott McCloud, who later went on to write what I consider the greatest academic treatment to date of comics as a medium, "Understanding Comics." I'm very pleased to have found these two issues in the Great Random Horde.
- "Legion Science Police", ©1989, DC Comics, Inc. I had no idea they'd even put out a book about the Science Police of the "Legion of Super Heroes" world, neat!
- "Zot!", No. 2, ©1984, Eclipse Enterprises.
- "Amazing Heroes", No. 132, ©1988, Fantagraphics Books, Inc. This issue features a great interview with Howard Chaykin, who was the hottest thing going at the time with "American Flagg".
- "Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight", No. 12, ©1990 DC Comics, Inc. Batman kicks a fat guy in the face. A lot.
- "Skateman", No. 1, ©1983, Neal Adams. Yes, that Neal Adams. This is the single greatest comic book I have yet come across in the Great Random Horde; expect to see more of Skateman in the coming days.
Jeff, I’m sorry but that one didn’t make very much sense, oh well you win some you lose some, I’m still your biggest fan. By the by I havn’t seen any HM updates recently, any ETA for the next update?
-Ashton.
Sorry that one didn’t do it for you, Ashton. I’m still working on the last female pose for HM, hopefully I’ll be done this month.
Do you think that you will ever let us change how the character is standing, instead of how they are right now, like a sitting guy or a guy flying or whatever…?
It’s possible in a limited way with HM3, if I can get it working properly — it’d be like old fashioned paper dolls that had pivots on the joints, so you could spin the arms or legs. You’d also be able to stretch or squash the character or parts thereof, like the “Upcoming!” page shows.
It’s possible to do it an “easier” way, like they used to animate sprites in video games, by re-drawing every single item to conform with a new pose. So instead of six separate bodies, you’d have however many separate body positions, each with its own set of items. But that takes a lot of time, I’d probably only be able to do one body style, possibly only one gender.
Maybe in heromachine 3.5 you could release another body type of a kid.So we could create sidekicks.
sweet idea, you should jeff…