What Were They Thinking: “Mental Ageing”

So, here on What Were They thinking, the series where we look at the stupidest most ill-advised things to ever appear in the comic book medium, we've covered a lot of dodgy and potentially offensive subjects. Teen pregnancy, incest, child abuse, but we haven't had paedophilia yet. Well don't worry everyone, Green Lantern has you covered (and I am going to hell for this one).

So Arisia Rrab. Daughter of Green Lantern 2815 Fentara Rrab, she joined the Corps after both her father and her uncle (who took over as GL2815 after Fentara's death) had fallen in the line of duty, which is an interesting case of nepotism. Whilst serving in the corps, she develops strong romantic feelings for Hal Jordan, who reciprocates them. All on board with me so far? Cool, because this is where it all takes a major nose dive. You see Arisia is only 13 years old at this point. Now I don't care what planet you're from, that is under-aged, and thankfully Hal is aware of this and rejects Arisia's initial advances. So what's a girl to do? Well, mentally age herself of course, using her willpower and her ring to age her physical body to adulthood. And then the two lovebirds go on to have a very nice romantic relationship until, of course, Hal dumps her. But that took a while.

Anyone else see the problem here? I mean, yes she might be physically an adult but, as it is later proven, it takes only a bump on the head to revert Arisia back to her 13 year old mental state. So, despite her, frankly insane, way of becoming "acceptable" as a romantic partner for Hal, she's still a 13 year old. Dress it up whatever way you like, that is still paedophilia. And this was going on between two members of what is basically intergalactic cops and other intergalactic cops knew about this. But then again, you can't expect a cop to incriminate another cop can you (joke, deadpan mode). Oh and of course, to wrap it all up, a couple of years later Arisia gets murdered by Major Disaster, who has a habit of murdering girlfriends of Green Lanterns. But at least she didn't get put in a fridge.

So to sum up, Batman is a child abuser, Black Canary a pyromaniac, Wonder Woman a psychopath and Green Lantern a paedophile. God, next you're gonna be telling me that Superman murdered Lois Lane. Oh wait...

Barry, Wally, save us please.

JR19759

About JR19759

Email: jr19759@hotmail.co.uk Twitter: @jr19759 Deviantart: JR19759 Deviantart HM Group: Heromachine-Art

3 Responses to What Were They Thinking: “Mental Ageing”

  1. Two heartbeats? LOIS IS A TIME LORD! TELL YOUR FRIENDS…wait a second. Two plus one is three. Lois has four letters. Her last name is Lane, which also has four letters. Superman is sci-fi. You know what else is sci-fi? Portal 2. Portal 2 was released after Portal 1. Portal 1 is set in the Half-Life universe. Basically, Lois Lane has two heartbeats, plus Superman’s heartbeat. Superman is Sci-fi and so is Portal/Half-Life…HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!

  2. And this is not the only time this happened either. Urk…

  3. @Drinkfluid- Actually, she was pregnant at the time, quite a way along, so that accounts for the two heartbeats.
    @Arioch- Oh, do tell me more…