Weekend Open Critique Day #H12

Here we are again. Today is a day to share with us your art. Post it and we will be happy to help you out by making suggestions.

23 Responses to Weekend Open Critique Day #H12

  1. Here is something I’m still working on, and it is very much WIP (I haven’t even started on detailing the faces or the background), but their posing is causing a bit trouble. I also think they look a bit too large compared to the canoe.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/dionne-jinn/2013/02/GiroBatolsCanoe6.png

  2. Wow, that is really good! Sorry I can’t be more constructive, but I really dig the whole east vs west vibe.

    The canoe seems fine, but I’d maybe make the mast and sail a little bigger which may mean scaling down the canoe and figures, but this is just my twobob’s worth…

  3. @ D’Jinn the hair, both long both free (no braid, no pony tail) yet one is being blown while the other is not! Who gave the brave the hairgel?

  4. Oops, I realise you were going for Asian, also noticed you forgot the eyes, yes these are nits that I am picking sorry!

  5. Dionne Jinn

    I think the posing works well. Agreed that the characters need to be slightly smaller. Also, Keric’s mention that the rower’s hair is not blowing.

  6. I apologize if this isn’t the appropriate forum for this, but I have a drawing I’m working on, and I’m kind of stuck regarding what armor to have this character I’m drawing wear. See, the character’s culture is based on the ancient cultures of the “fertile crescent” – that is, Babylon, Sumer, and the like. The problem is, while I’ve heard vague references to some sort of heavy armor that may have been worn by soldiers from those cultures, I haven’t actually found any pictures of notably heavy armor from those cultures. I’ve seen pictures of studded leather capes (which may or may not actually be studded leather) and various leather lamellar armors (if I recall correctly), but not much for heavy armor. Any ideas?

  7. Nick Hentschel

    Jadebrain:
    I apologize if this isn’t the appropriate forum for this, but I have a drawing I’m working on, and I’m kind of stuck regarding what armor to have this character I’m drawing wear. See, the character’s culture is based on the ancient cultures of the “fertile crescent” – that is, Babylon, Sumer, and the like. The problem is, while I’ve heard vague references to some sort of heavy armor that may have been worn by soldiers from those cultures, I haven’t actually found any pictures of notably heavy armor from those cultures. I’ve seen pictures of studded leather capes (which may or may not actually be studded leather) and various leather lamellar armors (if I recall correctly), but not much for heavy armor. Any ideas?

    They *did* use mail, I know, and something called “Mirror armor” was also seen (there’s an item in MaleFantasyArmor that should do it), where some highly-polished plates of metal were arranged around the body: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_armour

  8. Nick Hentschel

    My submission is a complex one, and resolving all of its issues is likely to take several sessions.

    We’re dealing with an unfinished character that I had to *re-construct*, after my cookies were lost, a couple of months ago. Luckily, I saved the unfinished image to iPhoto, so we can compare the two, side-by-side.

    His name is “Jean Martel,” and he’s a late-medieval knight, of sorts. He’s a stern, but very fair man, with a disciplined demeanor: you may not like him at first, but you see the good in him after a while.

    OLD DRAWING:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8462209356/
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8462209326/

    NEW DRAWING:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8462249836/
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8461151355/

    He’s wearing brigandine armor (I’m quite proud of the vest I created), over a padded jacket, so that’s why he looks the way he does.

    Here’s where the questions are:

    a) Any advice on differences re-constructing the first drawing? A lot of subtle elements elude me, esp. in the face & head.
    b) For that matter, SHOULD I? Which do you prefer? Why?
    1) What about the way I left the rest of equipment in the first drawing? Should I keep it, or leave it?
    2) Was the sunrise that I incorporated in to the second drawing good, or does it not work?
    3) Green, or blue? I think the blue looks better, but I initially changed it to green, since he’s just been assigned command of a unit of ranger-type troops.
    c) Do the colors work? Does the brown scabbard work, or should I change it to match the gloves & boots? Make the armor lighter, or keep it black?
    d) I need a LOT of input about the setting: does it work? The balcony? The mountains? I really didn’t have a good idea: I made it look like he was on the porch of some castle, being given his marching orders, and extrapolated a wintry, mountain background from there.

    This is a project far from finished, as you can infer…..

  9. I don’t don’t think I’ve finished anything for quite a while, hence why I haven’t been here, but I am desperately stuck with this:
    http://monalux.deviantart.com/art/Iveryith-353516647?ga_submit_new=10%253A1360516957

    I realize that their faces are…demented, to put it kindly. And her leg got cut off when I exported the picture. The dude is a ghost, why he’s transparent. She is a dunmer(elder scrolls, skyrim oblivion, morrowind ext.) which is the reason behind the lines under her eyes and the ridges on her forehead. And I am not changing that wall, just not going to happen.
    My problem is that I really, really don’t know how to give him a mohawke. I’ve tried a couple different things but the angle is weird and it never looks very good. Admittedly hair has never been my thing with heromachine. Help would be much appreciated, otherwise he is going to be bald.

  10. Sails, mast and the canoe itself are little larger now. Also gave the second guy different hair, so they have a reason not to fly. Fixed some skin colours, and gave the second guy’s hands something to do.

    Details to the faces and background still missing! (I didn’t “forget” the eyes, I knew they weren’t there, and they are not there now. There is still many other details missing, too)

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/dionne-jinn/2013/02/GiroBatolsCanoe2.png

  11. http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/Ticker_zps5b2479b8.png
    Ticker is another Anon Hero, able to make short jumps forward through time.

  12. @ Nick: Thanks for the tip about the mirror armor! As I look at the pictures on wikipedia, I realize that the concept is similar to the armor on some unfinished drawings I’ve had laying around lately – armor consisting of chain mail with partial plate on top – so it shouldn’t be too hard to draw. The next challenge, though, is to make the look of it “feel” like something you’d find in the pre-Islamic Middle East. Then again, as the creator of the setting, I do have some leeway, and I could, perhaps, just make it look post-Islamic and call it good.

  13. Nick Hentschel

    Jadebrain:
    @ Nick: Thanks for the tip about the mirror armor! As I look at the pictures on wikipedia, I realize that the concept is similar to the armor on some unfinished drawings I’ve had laying around lately – armor consisting of chain mail with partial plate on top – so it shouldn’t be too hard to draw. The next challenge, though, is to make the look of it “feel” like something you’d find in the pre-Islamic Middle East. Then again, as the creator of the setting, I do have some leeway, and I could, perhaps, just make it look post-Islamic and call it good.

    The “Pre-Islamic” Middle East is likely to reflect the Roman and/or Byzantine Empires, depending where you are, or even the Seleucid and Parthian ones in Persia (who were influenced by the Greeks), so you might be able to add those elements in, as well.

  14. Nick Hentschel

    Monalux:
    I don’t don’t think I’ve finished anything for quite a while, hence why I haven’t been here, but I am desperately stuck with this:
    http://monalux.deviantart.com/art/Iveryith-353516647?ga_submit_new=10%253A1360516957

    I realize that their faces are…demented, to put it kindly. And her leg got cut off when I exported the picture. The dude is a ghost, why he’s transparent. She is a dunmer(elder scrolls, skyrim oblivion, morrowind ext.) which is the reason behind the lines under her eyes and the ridges on her forehead. And I am not changing that wall, just not going to happen.
    My problem is that I really, really don’t know how to give him a mohawke. I’ve tried a couple different things but the angle is weird and it never looks very good. Admittedly hair has never been my thing with heromachine. Help would be much appreciated, otherwise he is going to be bald.

    Interesting scene. I wouldn’t call their faces “demented”; one of then simply has a certain, natural glare in her eyes.
    I might advise that the ghost character be MORE transparent, for at present, only his arms are. I don’t know about doing a mohawk at an angle, but it would be a good trick, and I’ll think about it.

  15. @Monalux: You might position various insignia on the skull temporarily to line up where the mohawk emerges from the skull and ‘build it’ out of individual tufts. When you’re done, you could look to see if there is something more elegant, but that may be what is required.
    @Jadebrain: Another interpretation of ‘heavy armor’ that was available at that time was bronze. I happen to think the plate mail in bronze color would be fine since bronze was easier to shape and replace that way. It could also be polished to a highly reflective surface though many probably didn’t bother.

  16. @Kicktar: Hey, man–if you could pull off a background scene divided in half behind him with vehicles, traffic moved just a little? Might be dynamic.
    @Dionne: I can see where you’re going with the characters. The sail needs either a boom or a line from it’s corner to a capstan. The mast might have a line from it’s tip to the bow and stern or a larger base, but it’s not so important on such a small sail. You might consider shading the boat itself with a single gradient shape.

  17. @Nick: Like the new face. I would add back the equipment but put a Cape or something under them. Things are less disposable and fragile in more ways in that setting. I would make the scabbard and belt gray and add semi-transparent clouds over the sky in various colors.

  18. Nick Hentschel

    Herr D:
    @Nick: Like the new face. I would add back the equipment but put a Cape or something under them. Things are less disposable and fragile in more ways in that setting. I would make the scabbard and belt gray and add semi-transparent clouds over the sky in various colors.

    Thank you. You have a point about the “tablecloth”; I’ll see if i can come up with something nice and “doily.”
    I’ve I’m going to make the bel/scabbard grey, then I should tinker with the colors of the gloves & boots, to match. Alternatively, I could make the armor grayer and make those items black.

    I figured that the clouds would come in sooner or later (remember, it’s UNFINISHED), but I’ll try to keep the look of the scene “wintry.”

  19. @Nick: Good. I would either go with more clouds or more faded sun for winter, but all your pic elements are coming together.

  20. Herr D:
    @Dionne: I can see where you’re going with the characters. The sail needs either a boom or a line from it’s corner to a capstan. The mast might have a line from it’s tip to the bow and stern or a larger base, but it’s not so important on such a small sail. You might consider shading the boat itself with a single gradient shape.

    And here we are. I even got their faces and the rest of the image detailed:
    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/dionne-jinn/2013/02/GiroBatolsCanoe7-1.png

  21. @Dionne: have you considered making a demo for Tips section on the value of making and keeping multiple drafts? Strikes me you’d be well-suited.

  22. Nick Hentschel

    Herr D:
    @Dionne: have you considered making a demo for Tips section on the value of making and keeping multiple drafts? Strikes me you’d be well-suited.

    I keep so many backups that my computer can’t hold them all! :-P