We all know Batman has gone through some pretty weird stuff throughout his history. From fat guys dressed as penguins to Bat-Dogs and a pre-pubescent orphan boy in scaly underoos, the guy runs into more than his fair share of absurdities. For instance, I give you the Ten-Eyed Man:
My favorite part of the character concept is this:
A brilliant doctor named Dr. Engstrom reconnected his optic nerves to his fingertips, enabling him to see through them.
That’s right. In Gotham City, they can’t actually make you see through your eyes, but they can make you see through your fingertips. Let’s pause for a second to imagine all the problems with a setup like this. No, not that dirty. No, not that dirty, either.
OK, class, let’s take a step back and just go with eating. How the hell do you eat when all you can “see” is the greasy burger wrapper and salty fries you’re gripping in your eyeball-tipped fingers? And let’s not even get into picking your nose. Or what happens when you try to punch someone and suddenly you can’t see because your eyeballs are tucked into fists.
Maybe that’s the reason for the disturbing Line of Eyes marching down his torso, leading you down between the pecs, to the washboard abs, down just over the belt and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THERE’S AN EYEBALL STARING AT ME FROM HIS CROTCH!!
Your clothes say something about you, folks, and what this eye design says is “Creeper”. Back away slowly, call the police, and for the love of all that’s holy, do not shake hands!