The eyes have it

We all know Batman has gone through some pretty weird stuff throughout his history. From fat guys dressed as penguins to Bat-Dogs and a pre-pubescent orphan boy in scaly underoos, the guy runs into more than his fair share of absurdities. For instance, I give you the Ten-Eyed Man:

My favorite part of the character concept is this:

A brilliant doctor named Dr. Engstrom reconnected his optic nerves to his fingertips, enabling him to see through them.

That’s right. In Gotham City, they can’t actually make you see through your eyes, but they can make you see through your fingertips. Let’s pause for a second to imagine all the problems with a setup like this. No, not that dirty. No, not that dirty, either.

OK, class, let’s take a step back and just go with eating. How the hell do you eat when all you can “see” is the greasy burger wrapper and salty fries you’re gripping in your eyeball-tipped fingers? And let’s not even get into picking your nose. Or what happens when you try to punch someone and suddenly you can’t see because your eyeballs are tucked into fists.

Maybe that’s the reason for the disturbing Line of Eyes marching down his torso, leading you down between the pecs, to the washboard abs, down just over the belt and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THERE’S AN EYEBALL STARING AT ME FROM HIS CROTCH!!

Your clothes say something about you, folks, and what this eye design says is “Creeper”. Back away slowly, call the police, and for the love of all that’s holy, do not shake hands!

14 Responses to The eyes have it

  1. Please tell me he spoke only in eye related puns. :)

  2. Actually this design isn’t that bad. The Crotch-eye is actually on his belt and it is less disturbing then a hand down there (see Kamen Rider Wizard). Also the eye on the fingertips might work if he keeps one hand free at all times to see through while closing the eyes on the holding hand. Also, the costume doesn’t show actual eyes on the fingertips so maybe he enhanced his touch sense to fill air pursuer diffrance and to be able to “see” through this ability

  3. Putting your eyesight into your fingers (and only your fingers) just seems impractical. If his occular nerves were dead, but he could gain the ability to “see” through touch receptive nerves, wouldn’t the forehead or the skin above the cheekbones make more sense? But then that would be less fantastical for comic books.

  4. Equally worrisome is why the man has a skunk based hairstyle. Maybe his nasal powers got wired into his hair when the optical abilities got put in his fingers. In all I suppose the message here is to go anywhere else but Gotham when seeking medical treatment.

  5. @Jeff: I can’t recall for certain, but I’m fairly sure your point is actually how the guy was beaten once – I remember reading a story with this guy, and if I recall correctly, his opponent literally waited until this nut threw the punch, then caught the ‘blind’ fist as it was coming at him.

  6. Watson Bradshaw

    wow DC, this was a little lazy of a character design. He can see a lot, so, lots of eyes on a unitard. Done.

  7. William Peterson

    My favorite line concerning the Ten-Eyed Man was: “Of course, No prison could hold a man of his abilities!” ;)
    Last I checked, this brilliant example of character design perished in the “Crisis on Infinite Earths”…

  8. The Towson Oyster

    I’ve wondered how to write the Ten-Eyed Man as a credible villain, without changing the core of the character (“okay, he’s a guy who can see only through his fingers”).

    I can’t think of anything.

  9. But a brilliant career in proctology awaits him. If only he’d use his incredible powers for GOOD…

  10. @Towson Oyster: If he pretends he’s not blind he could cheat perfectly easily at DEALING CARDS. Just loop a finger under to look up at the cards. Other than that he would be a better infiltrator than supervillain. . .
    On the other hand, if he tried finger strikes and judo chops he might develop a psychological problem–assuming he didn’t already have one.

  11. i’ m just thinking how much more painful a papercut must be for this guy…

  12. I trhink this guy tells me we should start a lame super power thread as well as the bad costume thread. In fact I think we should have a dumbest super powers contest to see who can make a cool costume with a terrible power! Gettin back to this guy. I like the fact they don’t hit you over the head with over elaborate colors. I would like a character who hears with his thoung and smells with his armpit. I will garintee if you smell with your armpit deoderant would be advised!

  13. I think @Jeff should start taking costume designs from Japanese tokusatsu (Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, local heroes) and analyze them. They are allot funnier then this one.
    http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110131052043/powerrangers/images/a/a8/Img_984321_17954445_0.jpeg
    http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111019184535/powerrangers/images/e/e1/Ninja_Captor_team.jpg

  14. Eye don’t see what’s wrong with him…