Marvel can teach us many things about the wonderful world of being feral:
- Metal is out, because feral animals don’t smelt.
- Claws come out from between the fingers, not from the tops of the hands, because that’s how it happens in nature. To feral things.
- No clothing. I mean, when was the last time you saw a beaver in a yellow spandex costume? No, wait, don’t answer that.
- Except for loin cloths. Loin cloths reek with feral-ness.
- Hair takes on the shape of whatever hat you would be wearing if you were not feral. Only more so. Thus we have the ten-gallon-hat shaped pit viper of the lower Colorado River Valley. It’s both feral and an excellent rancher.
- Being feral means your lower teeth are enormous.
- Feral things drool. A lot.
- Going feral can turn your deltoids into mushroom caps. So don’t do it, kids.
I think we can all be thankful that comics still has so much to teach us. Thank you, comics!