Caption Challenge 126

It's time for another new Caption Contest! Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

I'll pick out some as my personal favorites to highlight in a post next Monday, and then I'll choose one of those to bear the standard as the "Featured Creator of the Week" atop the right tool bar.

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit to entries, but please, self-edit and only put up ones you genuinely think are good!

99 Responses to Caption Challenge 126

  1. Avatar mcknight57 says:

    You grabbed the psychic paper. I’m hypnotizing you! You now see pretty colored spirals.

  2. Avatar NHA247 says:

    1) The letter reads “From your biggest fan…… You Suck!”

    Guy “Well…. uhhhh…”

    2) The letter reads ” Doctors Visit report, You have Synesthesia… Now!”

  3. Avatar Jake says:

    1. All hail the Hypno-Toad.

  4. Avatar jack says:

    “Congratulations, you have a spastic colon.”

  5. Avatar Tuldabar says:

    Guy: “Oh dear… another ‘Gay Pride’ advert.”

  6. MaDPac MaDPac says:

    “YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER!”
    Signed: Ed McMahon

  7. MaDPac MaDPac says:

    “I HAVEN’T BEEN ON THE PILL FOR A MONTH”
    Signed: Your lover

  8. MaDPac MaDPac says:

    “YOU’RE THE STAR OF A NEW CAPTION CHALLENGE ON THE HM BLOG”
    Signed: JH

  9. Avatar Herr D says:

    1. Dear Friend,
    A rainbow-colored portal is coming after you. Be ready.
    –Anonymous
    2. You IDIOT! Humans have ONE color eyes. Beaming you out!
    3. Harry: This paper is coated with psychedelic dust. Would you analyze it for us? Wi dhhj. hsdek% uujjkkkkk
    4. Harry: I bet your new TK power isn’t strong enough to pull the pigment out of the ink on this page! –FR

  10. Avatar Vampyrist says:

    “OH MY!”
    -George Takei

  11. Avatar DiCicatriz says:

    1) EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!
    2) The cake is a lie.
    3) There is no spoon.
    4) I put mushrooms in your pipe.

  12. ams ams says:

    Hello, I’m an alien disguised as paper and having sex with your fingers…

  13. Avatar joelstadler says:

    “You’re on That 70’s Show and it’s cutting to commercial.”

  14. Avatar Hammerknight says:

    Don’t look now, but you are being followed by a giant lolly-pop.

  15. Avatar joelstadler says:

    “C U 2n173 x0x0. PS, 1ll w34r 17 ;)”

  16. Avatar Myro says:

    1. “The Game. You just lost.’

  17. Avatar DiCicatriz says:

    Hammerknight:
    Don’t look now, but you are being followed by a giant lolly-pop.

    Ahahaha! Goodness gracious that had me rolling.

  18. Avatar Gabe Puratekuta says:

    “I challenge you to a staring contest!
    -The Paper”

  19. Avatar jack says:

    Hammerknight:
    Don’t look now, but you are being followed by a giant lolly-pop.

    This one makes the most comedic sense. Good job! Had me rofl’ing as well.

  20. Avatar NHA247 says:

    FREE SAMPLE!

    Each letter is infused with our new form of LSD!

    Enjoy the acid trip from hell!

  21. Avatar livewyre1014 says:

    letter reads: “Suck it, Trebek!”

  22. DC-Lover DC-Lover says:

    Letter: You are now a brony! Pass this letter on to remove the curse

  23. Avatar The Shookman says:

    Jake:
    1.All hail the Hypno-Toad.

    I clicked this picture with the intent to write a Hypno toad joke… DAMN YOU AND YOUR BETTER TIMING!!! hahaa

  24. Avatar Xavierking5 says:

    “Dear Mr. Greensuit,
    I replaced the tobacco in your pipe with a more suitable substance for this evening. Good luck tripping!
    Dr. Marian Juan”

  25. Avatar The Shookman says:

    The letter reads: “And the award goes to… Justin Bieber!”
    The letter reads: “I just smeared CareBear blood all over your ceiling.”

  26. Avatar Xavierking5 says:

    Hammerknight: Don’t look now, but you are being followed by a giant lolly-pop.

    Haha, I get it, lolly-pops cant walk!

  27. Avatar NHA247 says:

    Letter: You have just won the Gemini croquet contest! Your prize is a free wallpaper replacement which was designed by none other then the amazing Ruby Rhod! Congratulations!

  28. Avatar Kalontas says:

    “DOO-DOO-DEE-DOO, DOO-DOO-DEE-DOO,
    OOOH-WEEEE-OOOH

    DOCTOR WHO”

    (seriously, the ’60s Who had some really trippy intros)

  29. Avatar Frankie says:

    Letter–All three panels: TURN PAPER OVER.

  30. Avatar Frankie says:

    Letter: You have been granted the power of the GAYDAR which will give your irises a rainbow swirl, and allow you to know who is gay. Your weakness: It’s not 100% accurate.

  31. Avatar Xavierking5 says:

    “Congratulations! You have the chance to win 300,000 dollars! All you have to do is answer this question; What came first; the chicken or the egg?”

  32. Avatar Renxin says:

    “Picture yourself on a boat on a river,
    with tangerine trees and marmalade skies…”

  33. Avatar thejay says:

    “Ceci n’est pas une pipe.”

    (Like in the Magritte painting, “this is not a pipe”)

  34. Avatar thor1066 says:

    “Q”

  35. Avatar BenK22 says:

    1. Mr. John Hawthorne,
    You are cordial invited to the 2nd annual brony convention.
    Costumes are not required, but highly encouraged.
    We look forward to enjoying the pleasure of your company.
    With New Sincerity,
    Rainbow Dash

  36. Avatar The Shookman says:

    Letter reads: “Your face is orange and your friend is bald.”

  37. Avatar The Shookman says:

    Letter reads :”I’m bangin your wife and I farted in your pipe.”

  38. Avatar Frevoli says:

    these are not the metal men you’re looking for

  39. Renxin: “Picture yourself on a boat on a river,with tangerine trees and marmalade skies…”

    Beat me to it. =)

    1. ~ Live at the Fillmore ~
    The Allman Brothers!

    2. Son,
    Don’t drink the brown Kool-Aid.
    Love,
    Mom

    3. Your lucky numbers are: 25 or 6 to 4

    4. My cat eats donuts. That is all.

    5. Congratulations, You have been accepted to Miskatonic University. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  40. Avatar Frevoli says:

    50 Shades of Gray – E L James

    Chapter 1…

  41. Avatar Frevoli says:

    post reboot – you’ll never be seen again

  42. Avatar Frevoli says:

    Porky Pig has swine flu – you’re on in five

  43. Avatar Frevoli says:

    My little ponies have captured the Tardis – send help

  44. Avatar DiCicatriz says:

    5) 1÷0=?
    6) Someday we’ll find it / the Rainbow Connection / The lovers, the dreamers and me…
    7) Reminder: Dr. Will Magnus has an optometrist appointment this upcoming Tuesday.

  45. Avatar MrVampire says:

    All SLACK. All “Bob” Dobbs.
    All ONE! See. See.
    SLACK. SLACK. SLACK.

  46. Avatar punkjay says:

    To whom it may concern. We have laced your pipe with LSD!

  47. Avatar tackin says:

    congrats your a father of eight

  48. Avatar Keric says:

    1) YOU stared at a care bear, now WE get to stare at you
    2) You are my slave signed Billy the Blue Ranger!

  49. Avatar punkjay says:

    Dear Sir,
    You have won yourself a free portrait done by Peter Max!

  50. Avatar TK422 says:

    Soylent green is people.

  51. Avatar Frankie says:

    Letter: R

  52. Avatar The Shookman says:

    Letter reads: “Inspector Gadget, this letter will explode in three seconds!”

  53. Avatar The Shookman says:

    Letter reads: “ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.”
    Letter reads: “Dear Sir, we regret to inform you that your ‘sane vision’ contract has expired.”

  54. Avatar The Shookman says:

    Letter reads: “They legalized gay marriage! We can finally elope!”

  55. Avatar Vherkin says:

    B
    (The letter is a giant B, get it ? Yeah, bad pun are bad)

  56. Avatar Kaito94 says:

    1: “Thank you for participating in our survey. Please enjoy our cannabis-scented thank-you letter.”
    2: “Your pinup is enclosed within this letter.”
    3: “Dear Thomas, hope you enjoy that “trip” you were talking about going on. Love, Mom.”

  57. Avatar Rhinoman says:

    “Taste the Rainbow!”

  58. Avatar Keric says:

    3) Have you never been mellow… before?
    4) Confucious say you will have a rainbow swirly day!

  59. Avatar Skybandit says:

    1: Warning! Do not handle giant hit of acid with bare hands!
    2: Greetings: You’ve been drafted!
    3: Isn’t the guy who delivered this gay?
    4: Brought to you by the letter R. R is for Rainbow.

  60. Avatar rex says:

    1. if you see a spiraling rainbow your gay

    2. you have won a trip to corusant, the city planet, and become a Jedi. (just dont look at a spiraling rainbow)

  61. Avatar DiCicatriz says:

    8) I replaced your contact lens solution with LSD. Good luck.

  62. Avatar Tuldabar says:

    Letter: This is Psychic paper. It shows you what I want you to see.
    Second Panal: And I want you to see; swirly rainbows! Muahahahaha!!!!! My evil plan has worked! Signed: My Dasterdly Pony.

  63. Avatar YouAlreadyKnowIthink says:

    -the new skittles slogan will be, see the rainbow

    -there are lots of important things that u really must read on this paper, and to keep it out of enemy hands we wrote it in invisible ink
    with care from the CBSS (Care Bear Secret Services)

  64. Avatar Keric says:

    5) Dear Sir, Congratulations our tests show that you do an active X-gene!
    We at the Xavier Institute would like to help you train your GIFT of…
    Creating Rainbows… to its fullest. Please send your reply to Hank McCoy
    or Jean Summers 56 Institute Lane Bayville, Ny, 11201

    Signed, Hank McCoy

  65. Avatar Bryce Wasley says:

    1. WARNING: Staring at this paper for extended periods of time may result in funk.
    2. Disco is back.
    3. You’ll never guess what I put in your pipe.
    4. When you open your eyes, the world will become funk.
    5. Open your eyes! Look what the world has become!

  66. Avatar Thundersong says:

    Dear Fellow Transexualian (we’ve been watching you via this rainbow sonic transducer),

    You have been recruited to help bring “Dr. Frank-N-Furter” back to Life! Here is what you must do. You must bring people together for a flash mob of the “Time Warp!” If done correctly, “Dr. Frank-N-Furter” will then come back to Life! It is scheduled for “(it’s just a) Jump to the Left, with hands up and a Step to the Right!” It will start at the time of “(with your hands on your hips) Bring your knees in Tight”

    Sincerely,
    “Brad! Janet! and Dr. Everett V. Scott”

  67. Avatar fudgee says:

    Good news:You are a winner of 1,000,000,000,000 dollars.
    Bad news:It costs you your life!

  68. alphaalpharomeo alphaalpharomeo says:

    We know your secret. Signed the LGBTQ.

    Welcome back to 1973

    Your mission, if you chose to except it, is to infultrate the gay pride march. This message will self destruct into a rainbow whirlwind.

    I put acid in your pipe. Signed, Wil Wheaton

  69. Avatar Skybandit says:

    5: Dear sir: We have found no treatment for your unusual condition of creating rainbows whenever you defecate.
    6: Selsun Blue regrets to inform you of a recall of our product. An impurity of the formula causes unusual effects when the user sweats.
    7: Our Nigerian King needs your help with processing a bank account. If you will provide the following information, we will share the money.

  70. Avatar The Towson Oyster says:

    “Dude…what if we were all just DRAWINGS on PAPER?”

  71. Avatar Bael says:

    If you fail to forward this chain letter to at least 10 people, the next Green Lantern crossover event will come to your city and at least three of your supporting cast will be killed off or made into minor villains.

  72. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    “Tune in, turn on, drop out.
    Love,
    Timothy.”

  73. Avatar Frankie says:

    Letter: Somewhere, over the rainbow sky.

  74. Avatar Frankie says:

    Letter: Warning! Smoking tobacco may cause cancer, rainbow of the eyes, death and giant, swirling rainbow portals to loom behind you.

  75. Avatar knight26 says:

    This sheet has been soaked in LSD, have a nice trip.

  76. Avatar logosgal says:

    “This page intentionally left blank.”

  77. Avatar joelstadler says:

    “What is written on this piece of paper is a lie
    – signed, the guy who just broke your mind”

  78. Avatar Myro says:

    Not an entry, but does anyone else imagine this is the music that should be playing during panel 3? Or is it just me?

  79. Avatar Dr. Quinn says:

    Congratulations, you have won a trip to pepperland!

    –Billy Shears

  80. Avatar Myro says:

    Okay, this is an old internet joke that only Futurama fans will really understand, and honestly works better with a picture, but:

    2.”From the Desk of Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth,

    Good news, everyone! I have invented a device that allows you to imagine my voice while you read this letter.”

  81. This scheme of yours is insane…
    Then again i just did pot…..

  82. Avatar Skybandit says:

    8: If you can read this, you’re too close.
    9: Please disregard last message.
    10: If yuo’re albe to raed tihs, gvie yousrelf a raibnow!
    11: (Both sides, every panel) To keep a moron busy, see other side.

  83. Avatar Vherkin says:

    i just thought of something:
    On the paper:
    Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

  84. Avatar Twiggy says:

    1. Obey Hypnotoad! *Picture of Hypnotoad*

    2. This paper is coated in skin-absorbent LSD

    3. That wasn’t alka seltzer…

    4. That’s not tobacco in the pipe…

  85. Avatar Bael says:

    We’ve replaced his normal tobacco with “Cap’n Tripps Special Reserve”. Lets see if he can tell the difference.

  86. Avatar King Schultz says:

    “His name is Snoop Lion now…”

  87. Avatar punkjay says:

    Dear Sir,
    We are proud to inform you, you have won all of Hendrix’s secret drug stash!

  88. Avatar ProwlerKnight says:

    To whome it may concern

    You have failed to keep up on your loan payments.
    Therefor, we have called the Lollipop Gang to collect your debt.
    They will be at your house shortly.

    Goodbye

  89. Avatar Knighthawk says:

    *insert three panels onto page creating an infinite loop of image of image on image*

    I’ll tell you a riddle. You’re waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don’t know for sure. But it doesn’t matter. How can it not matter to you where that train will take you?

    Please fill out form 7-C before reading this paper.

  90. Avatar punkjay says:

    I am The Eggman, they are The Eggmen, I am The Walrus GooGoo Gachoob!!!!

  91. Avatar punkjay says:

    Niall Mor:
    “Tune in, turn on, drop out.
    Love,
    Timothy.”
    He flies his Astroplane, brings back the next day

  92. Avatar punkjay says:

    Thank you sir for purchasing “Sitar Music of the 60’s” This letter is laced with LSD so you can actually ENJOY this crap!

  93. Avatar Myro says:

    3. “WARNING! This sheet has been contaminated with a contact-transmitted strain of meningitis. Do not handle without gloves.”

  94. Avatar Frankie says:

    Letter: Dear sir,

    What if c-a-t, really spelled dog?

    Sincerily,
    You’ve Been Mindblown

  95. Avatar e350tb says:

    1. “Dear sir.
    I am afraid you have a severe case of rainboweyetis.
    Yours,
    Your Doctor.”

    2. “The next sentence is false. The last sentence was true.”

    3. “ROSEBUD.”

  96. Avatar Kountkill says:

    Hammerknight:
    Don’t look now, but you are being followed by a giant lolly-pop.

    LOL! This is going to be a hard one to top, so I’m not even going to try.

  97. Avatar Alexis von Blumenthal says:

    The Cake Is A Lie.

  98. Avatar Galactic Ketchup says:

    1. That isn’t tobacco.

    2. Clark Kent is Superman.

    3. I was phone.

  99. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    OK folks, contest’s over. Judging in a bit.