Boomerawful

Just because he was the King doesn’t mean Jack Kirby didn’t throw out the occasional stinker. And that the stinker wouldn’t come back and hit him in the face, like with the original Boomerang:

Given the configuration of that helmet, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that this was actually yet another Hank Pym incarnation. But no, a closer look reveals that no tiny insect control technology is present, just a primitive version of a karaoke machine:

I love that the giant General Mills Cereal logo on his chest is actually the control panel for his rocket boots. I can’t imagine what could possibly go wrong with that kind of an arrangement in a fight. “I don’t know, Iron Man, I punched him in the chest and the next thing I knew he was launching into the sun!”

You also have to dig the giant puffy sleeves with the throwing discs sewn in. At least, that’w what he wants us to believe, but secretly I think he has a phobia that he’ll lose a button on his pants during a battle so he carries dozens of spares.

This isn’t entirely Jack Kirby’s fault of course. Most of the blame has to fall on whoever thought up the idea of a boomerang-based character in the first place. Did they think guys with bows and arrows were too overpowered in a world with Iron Man level weaponry? I can only imagine the discarded sketches for Atlatl-Man, The Human Marble, and Captain Discus.

(Image and character © Marvel Comics.)

21 Responses to Boomerawful

  1. I’m pretty sure “Captain Discus” was Steve Rogers’ first attempt at an alter ego. ;)

  2. So that’s what a cross between a Dalek and a Cyberman would look like…

  3. Wow! The helmet is WAAAY too square. Colors are awful, and the pirate short with washers attached to it are not doing anything for me. The hoses on the boots make absolutely NO sense. Kirby was obviously on a serious LSD trip. Even the girl’s outfit stinks. After seeing this I think I puked a little

  4. Most of the blame has to fall on whoever thought up the idea of a boomerang-based character in the first place.

    LMAO! You don’t say. [Sarcasm]And where exactly did these two guys go wrong?[/sarcasm]

    http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/11326/276989-135970-capt-boomerang.jpg

    http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/77/99823-154495-boomerang.jpg

    Seriously, it’s like every single boomerang-based character has to be: a) a villain, b) a loser, and c) wear a stupid looking costume.

  5. Myro: Seriously, it’s like every single boomerang-based character has to be: a) a villain, b) a loser, and c) wear a stupid looking costume.

    I can’t blame them TOO much since their entire technology is basically “Throwing Sticks Man”. A guy who thinks “I’m going to be a super guy and my power will be to throw sticks” is probably not the apex predator in that neck of the woods. You can keep your repulsor beams and heat vision and invulnerability and super speed, you give me a throwable stick and I will RULE THE WORLD!

    Maybe I should do a “Boomerang” contest — build someone based on a boomerang power set that isn’t a total dweeb.

  6. @logosgal:
    Not really – the first ‘Shield of Captain America’ was somewhere between a heater and a kite – it has the pointed lower half of a kite shield, but a flat(ish) top instead of the rounded top I’ve always seen on those (and is too small by far). Since the first shield wasn’t a buckler (the circular kind most commonly associated with him), I’m afraid Steve probably didn’t go with that to start.

    @Jeff:
    However, in deference to Logosgal’s perception on the issue, he probably should have gone with ‘Captain Discus’ at some point. My vote would be for ‘The Captain’, when John Walker was busy being Capt. America.

    Or hey, maybe we can call Steve Rogers ‘Boomerang’ – between the Xena-style ricochet skills and the later implanted magnets, that shield returns to him way to easily.

  7. Jeff Hebert: I can’t blame them TOO much since their entire technology is basically “Throwing Sticks Man”. A guy who thinks “I’m going to be a super guy and my power will be to throw sticks” is probably not the apex predator in that neck of the woods. You can keep your repulsor beams and heat vision and invulnerability and super speed, you give me a throwable stick and I will RULE THE WORLD!

    Maybe I should do a “Boomerang” contest — build someone based on a boomerang power set that isn’t a total dweeb.

    Well there is that ninja girl from inyuyasha who has a giant boomerang, and she is actually bad ass.

  8. Myro: Seriously, it’s like every single boomerang-based character has to be: a) a villain, b) a loser, and c) wear a stupid looking costume.

    Jeff Hebert:
    Maybe I should do a “Boomerang” contest — build someone based on a boomerang power set that isn’t a total dweeb.

    Friendly Neighborhood Counterexample.

    …Okay, I admit, if you know the show, he doesn’t exactly blow the “all boomerang-wielders are dweebs” hypothesis apart totally. BUT! The point is, it is at least possible to make it look at least decently cool. (And he’s not a villain.) Sorry, Jeff, but Kirby gets no excuses here.

  9. I was going to argue with you about the viability of a boomerang-based villain, but the longer I thought about it the more ridiculous it seemed.

    I’m trying to imagine what a credible supervillain like Doctor Doom or Lex Luthor would say if they met a boomerang-based villain.

    “Okay, you’re a villain who uses throwing weapons. Interesting. So what do you throw? Knives? Grenades? Poison darts?”

    “I throw boomerangs!”

    “…”

    “See, it’s just like a regular stick, only when you throw it away it comes back!

    “…”

    “No, really! It comes back! By itself! It’s like magic!”

    “…I’m gonna need that Legion of Doom membership card back.”

  10. William Peterson

    Uhmm, guys, I know you like to make fun, here…
    But, Captain Boomerang wasn’t exactly throwing STICKS at people! {The less said about Marvel’s Boomerang, who was a BASEBALL Pitcher, the better!}
    These were all TRICK Boomerangs! Razorangs, BOOMerangs (the explosive sort), pretty much the whole Hawkeye/ Green Arrow assortment of playtoys, but no need to carry around a bulky, heavy longbow!

    Yeah, okay, he STILL got made fun of, but at least he wasn’t “The Top”! :D

  11. William Peterson: Uhmm, guys, I know you like to make fun, here…
    But, Captain Boomerang wasn’t exactly throwing STICKS at people!

    Muscle-powered sticks are still sticks. The whole assortment of archer playtoys with a tenth of the range! Awesome!

    Granted, though, the Top was even less impressive. Good call on that.

  12. William Peterson:
    Yeah, okay, he STILL got made fun of, but at least he wasn’t “The Top”!

    </blockquote
    As far as I'm concerned, most of the Rogues' Gallery is a joke. Still, Captain Boomerang was let go by the rest of the gang, so what does that say about him?. Okay, this was pre-New 52, and mostly it was because he was helping out Professor Zoom on the side, but he was not considered that valuable a member.

  13. ProwlerKnight

    First off let me start by saying this ain’t Captian Boomerang, given the little discuss looking alot like suction cups, I would argue this is the new Octupus or Squid villian XD (I’m leaning towards octupus with that ridiculous helmet, which is also funny given it coveres everything BUT his cheeks, cause you know if you’re gonna be a hero, cheekless helmets are the way to go XD)

    Second that Boomerang doesn’t look like it’s rotating at all, I’m no expert on throwing weapons but I’m sure a Boomerang does spin in the air. This one looks like it’s just gliding like a paper airplane.

  14. logosgal:
    Friendly Neighborhood Counterexample.

    …Okay, I admit, if you know the show, he doesn’t exactly blow the “all boomerang-wielders are dweebs” hypothesis apart totally. BUT! The point is, it is at least possible to make it look at least decently cool. (And he’s not a villain.) Sorry, Jeff, but Kirby gets no excuses here.

    Considering he was able to kill a super-powered bounty hunter with a non-trick boomerang, all the other guys have no excuse.

  15. This guys name should be BOOOOmerang. ;)
    And with all this talk of lame boomerang based characters, did we forget about the Feral Kid from The Road Warrior? He was pretty bad ass! Kidding.

  16. I can’t imagine that mask gives him much visability – like most of time, he gets hit by the returning boomerang than who he’s meant to be fighting.

    Though I can think of one boomerang wielder who a) isn’t a villain, b) isn’t a loser (unless being forgotten in the golden age counts), and c) doesn’t wear a stupid looking costume (well – not that much more than anyone else)

    http://images.wikia.com/projectsuperpowers/images/3/31/279154-78064-the-death-defying-de_super.jpg

    (originally called Daredevil, but changed by dynamite due to the Marvel character)

  17. To be fair, if a villain is based on boomerang, he has potential to be very annoying too.

    Because he will always come back.

  18. Gabe Puratekuta

    Kalontas:
    To be fair, if a villain is based on boomerang, he has potential to be very annoying too.

    Because he will always come back.

    To be fair, ALL villains come back…

  19. Marvel had an entire team of juggling villains who threw gimmick juggling equipment like balls, pins, and discs. Don’t think they lasted long.

  20. cavalier:
    Marvel had an entire team of juggling villains who threw gimmick juggling equipment like balls, pins, and discs.Don’t think they lasted long.

    Yeah, they were called the Death Throws, and most of them dressed pretty bad too. I’ve already suggested to Jeff to feature them on the bad costume segment.

  21. William Peterson:
    Uhmm, guys, I know you like to make fun, here…
    But, Captain Boomerang wasn’t exactly throwing STICKS at people! {The less said about Marvel’s Boomerang, who was a BASEBALL Pitcher, the better!}
    These were all TRICK Boomerangs! Razorangs, BOOMerangs (the explosive sort), pretty much the whole Hawkeye/ Green Arrow assortment of playtoys, but no need to carry around a bulky, heavy longbow!

    Yeah, okay, he STILL got made fun of, but at least he wasn’t “The Top”!

    But why did they have to be trick boomerangs? Why not throw regular knives and bombs and such?

    And really, can you honestly say you can’t see the massive flaw in this concept? If you throw a bomb-erang at a good guy and it misses, shouldn’t it logically come back and explode in your face? And if it doesn’t come back to you, why bother making it into a boomerang?

    (Also, you will never convince me that it’s possible to catch a razorang without slicing your fingers off.)