Caption Contest 122: BLAM BLAM BLAM!

Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit to entries, but please, self-edit and only put up ones you genuinely think are good!

70 Responses to Caption Contest 122: BLAM BLAM BLAM!

  1. Go Jimmy! And tell my grilled cheese… I lo….AAAAAAAAAAAA

  2. eat blam!

  3. Avatar William Peterson

    “Look! The guys at MythBusters finally found a way to improve Buster! More Explosions!!!”
    {Sorry, the Gun going Blam I can understand, but the *target* going Blam?}

  4. alphaalpharomeo alphaalpharomeo

    “Take that Blue Beetle”

    “When your phone company doesn’t answer you, you shoot people”

    “Date my best friend Dave will you? I think Not”

    “Shoot now, ask questions later”

    “Switch to Geico will you?”

    “And magically my three shots produce 7 bullet wounds”

    “Hi I’m Dave, the new modern day Cupid”

  5. “Hasta la vista, Baby”

  6. 1. “You won’t be back.”

    2. “This is my town, Jayne.”

    3. “If Jack would’ve jumped a little bit higher, he wouldn’t have been in my line of fire!”

  7. “I’ll show you ‘holier-than-thou!'”

  8. “First” THIS!

  9. Red vs. blue? I’ll show you what yellow can do!

  10. Avatar Dr. Shrinker


  11. In case you guys are curious, Dave is the one being shot. This is from an issue of Vigilante. Peacemaker is the guy doing the shooting. And Adrian (The first Vigilante…well, in this particular costume – is the guy yelling)

    I don’t really have a funny line for this one…I liked the character that was killed in this issue. =P

  12. “How do you make a holy bartender?”

  13. ”-Bob’s invicibility is neat.
    -wait…it’s Dave? damn! sorry!…”
    doesn’t match the speech balloons, but is it that important?

    “look out, a bee is on your jacket!”

  14. sorry fo the repost!

    ”-Bob’s invicibility is neat.
    -wait…it’s Dave? damn! sorry!…”
    doesn’t match the speech balloons, but is it that important?

    “look out, a bee is on your jacket!”

    “I ordered: say Blam!”

    “HOOOO, those flying ”blam!”! I hate them! hate them! HATE !”

  15. 1: “No one expects the Midas Inquisition!”
    2: “You told me this was a paintball gun!”
    3: “But you said we were going to play laser tag!”

  16. Avatar Iago Valentine

    “I’m sorry, I can’t let you do that.”

    Seeing as how his name is Dave, presumably David, that was the first thing I thought of.

  17. Avatar Patrick Nolan (archangel 13)

    “Nine lives eh?… eight, seven, six…”

  18. “I didn’t say ‘Simon says.'”
    “I hate rhythmic gymnastics.”
    “This is for letting Leifield draw our background.”

  19. Avatar Gabe Puratekuta

    “Revenge, you team-killing fucktard!!”
    “That was my candy!”
    “My modem reset!!”
    “Relax, we’ve got more Dave clones in the back.”
    “Where’d those other shots come from?”
    “Give me money!”
    “I told you I’m not going to shoot Dave!”
    “You took my job!”
    “Non sequitur!”

  20. Avatar TJDouglas13

    “Oh no now my wife will find out about my secret donut stash! I mean ouch…”

  21. “Fear my Blam Gun!!”

    “I know what you’re thinking did he fire five blams or six? Actually it was seven you’re all wrong!”

    “Seven! Only three more, then your punishment will be over! Or you’ll be dead. Either one works for me.”

    “Dave who? The guy i’m shooting, that’s not him… oh wait.”

  22. Shazam motha effa!!!!!!!!

  23. Avatar LoneWolf6155

    You said his name was Dan!!!

    FREEZE, oh wait, I was supposed to say that earlier.

    Resisting arrest may result in BLAMING!

    To use excessive force or not to use excessive force? That is the question.

  24. 1. Eat BLAM, Jazz Hands!
    2. Yo, Dawg, I heard you like BLAM. So, I put a BLAM in your BLAM so you can BLAM while you BLAM!

  25. Simon says DIE!

  26. “This tactic is what we call a splits-krieg!”

  27. 1: Damn Jehovah’s Witnesses!
    2: Screw the Comics code!
    3: You shoot him in the back, I’ll get him from the front!
    4: Make fun of my Prince Valiant haircut, will you?
    5: A jogger? In Pirate boots? Kill him!
    6: Got this seven shooter from a handsome stranger!
    7: Oops! I hit autofire!

  28. Jeff’s adapting to Texas. This is the third contest in a row dealing with guns and explosions!

  29. 1. I’m sorry Dave, this mission was to important…
    3. DAMN IT!! The taser is always in my other holster!
    4. What? No my name’s Brian, Dave’s my brother.

  30. alphaalpharomeo alphaalpharomeo

    no, you don’t move like Jagger

  31. “Blue hog! I HATE yellow!”

  32. 1) I told you to stop calling me Shirley
    2) It looks like I just blue you away. Hyeeeeaaahh!!!!

  33. “Oh crap! I guess you where right Dave. This gun is loaded.”
    “Hay, Dave I think I got the fly that was……. Oh crap.”
    “So, you just pull the trigger and then…… oops.”

  34. Avatar William Peterson

    {Entry #2}
    “So, you’d rather be a Sidekick to someone who’s got his own Comic, huh? Take THAT!!!”

  35. Avatar r g bergmann

    Six Six bullets to the torso ah ah ah
    Thats count Dave to you pilgrim..

  36. “can I try your anti-bullet armour?”

    “did you like my new gun?”

    “HA!!! a gigant bug!!!”

  37. The invite said to wear yellow!


  38. 1. “Whoa, Black Betty”
    Note: Not old enough to make true reference to this song, but still feel dated by having it be the first thing that I thought of when I saw this.

    2. “I forgive ya, but my Blammy gun don’t”

    3. “Happy what?!”

  39. Avatar Bryce Wasley

    What’s the big deal? I’m just shooting him.

  40. Orange HATES blue!

    What’s this do?


    “Goddamn QVC and their defective Swiss Cheese guns!”

    “Why yes, my favorite book is Holes!”

  42. 1. “No fair! I don’t have a back gun.”

  43. Avatar Jack Zelger

    – “I HATE Cirque du Soleil!”

  44. Avatar Jack Zelger

    “No jumping!”

  45. No. I don’t have spirit.

  46. “I’ll prove that he still loves you.”

  47. FINGER SPASM!!!!!!

  48. That’ll teach you not to make fun of my hair again, Cheer Leader Man.

    2. “Quite impressive, Van Damme. Now dodge this!”

  50. 2. “If you can dodge a bullet, you can dodge a ball.”

  51. Avatar Dr. Shrinker

    Did somebody say, “BLAM?!?”

  52. DAVE…SAYS…BLAM!!!!!!!!

  53. 1. He’s trying to hug me!
    2. I said no anchovies!
    3. Dave… YES!
    4. Talk about blowback…
    5. Speaking of Daves… you remember “Super Dave” Osborn?

  54. i just killed chuck Norris

  55. i fired 3 times but 5 blams came out

  56. “Jean-Claude van BLAM I’m good!”

  57. “Did you make the Mass Effect 3 ending? This is what I think…”

  58. – Three shots in, five shots out. I love this gun.

    – BLAM the rainbow! Taste the rainbow!

    – Dave, YES!


  59. 3. “No, you’re not in the Matrix. I’ll prove it.”

  60. “Screw the slingshot! Take that Goliath!”

  61. “Oooh I love charades! Let’s see… Dying!…. Getting shot!…. Tell my wife and kids I love them!”

  62. Avatar crazychicken101

    “see you later,aligator”
    “later gator”

  63. Avatar ProwlerKnight

    “To coin a classic line….KEEP THE CHANGE YA FILTHY ANIMAL!!!”
    “Hey is my gun clogged….BLAM!!!….oh, forgot to turn the safety on.”
    “Rock, paper….BLAM!!….I win.”
    “That’s gonna hurt in the morning.”
    “You choose paper huh….BLAM!!…gun beats all.”

  64. Avatar ProwlerKnight

    (sorry for another post, slow-working mind >.<)

    "This'll teach you to track mud into my house!!!"
    "YOU did WHAT to my DAUGHTER!!!!???"
    "You were suppose to hold the apple on your head!!!"

  65. Avatar themadkiller

    ”take some bullets blue thing”

  66. try out the new blam gun. for only $5.99. plus shipping and handling

  67. 1. “See that? Right up the spine, leaving all the delicious meat intact.”

    2. “Aw, man. Now we can’t re-use the suit.”

    3. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about the knockback on this sucker. Guess Dirty Harry was wrong.”

    4. “Nobody makes fun of my helmet but me!”

    5. “That’s the LAST time you steal MY lift ticket!”

  68. “Dave yes!!!”

  69. Curious how many people get this one, but at least a few should.

    4. “Uh, Dave’s not here, man.”

  70. “Eh, it was worth a shot. HA! See what I- oh he’s dead…”