Open Critique Day #36

Although my new full-time (non-HeroMachine) job might keep me from actually getting to these before this afternoon, it’s time for another Open Critique Day!

If you have a HeroMachine illustration or another piece of artwork you’ve done that you’d like some help with, post a link to it in comments along with your thoughts on it — what you think is working, what you’re struggling with, etc. I will post my critique of the piece, hopefully giving some tips on how to improve it.

Of course everyone is welcome to post their critiques as well, keeping in mind the following rules:

  • Make sure your criticism is constructive. Just saying “This sucks” is both rude and unhelpful without giving specific reasons why you think it sucks and, ideally, some advice on how to make it better.
  • Each person should only post one illustration for critique to make sure everyone who wants feedback has a chance.
  • I will not critique characters entered in any currently running contest, as that doesn’t seem fair to the other entrants. You can still post it if you like for the other visitors to critique, but I will not do so.

That’s it! Hopefully we can get some good interaction going here and help everyone (me included!) learn a little bit today.

87 Responses to Open Critique Day #36

  1. When Myro got his face put up, I realized that there were an equal amount of winner’s faces and generic masculine humanoid characters, so I combined them. Obviously, I had NO idea what the proper hair color and skin tones for these people were, so I just put what I wanted to in there. If the people that match these faces would give me some feedback, i can correct the mistakes I am certain that I made.

    http://i1018.photobucket.com/albums/af309/skybandit/TheWinnersCircle.jpg

  2. Skybandit:
    When Myro got his face put up, I realized that there were an equal amount of winner’s faces and generic masculine humanoid characters, so I combined them.Obviously, I had NO idea what the proper hair color and skin tones for these people were, so I just put what I wanted to in there.If the people that match these faces would give me some feedback, i can correct the mistakes I am certain that I made.

    http://i1018.photobucket.com/albums/af309/skybandit/TheWinnersCircle.jpg

    Ha, I love it! I’m glad I get to be a pirate, my mom will be very happy I finally achieved my childhood dream.

    FWIW my coloring is about right, though my beard and hair are closer to black than light brown. But it’s not that far off.

    Great job, I think it’s a ton of fun!

  3. How about a role call for all who are featured in Skybandit’s pic??

  4. On another note, are these Open Critique Days still worth doing? It seems like participation has really dropped off over the last few months. Should I replace them with something else?

  5. How about reactivate Power User Profile again?

  6. alvacascus:
    How about reactivate Power User Profile again?

    I’d like to, but I kind of ran out of people …

  7. Rozenstal:
    http://cs5742.userapi.com/u19824168/114596919/x_9cdaedd3.jpg

    I love the design of the character, with the high tech barbarian kind of look. The environment seems fitting as well.

    For me the main concern is the pose. He looks like he’s leaning too far over to his right, to the point that he’d almost fall over. And then the head seems too far down on the torso, as if he were coming more directly at us. But the torso position doesn’t really support that, causing a bit of confusion.

    The other major concern is the hammer, which seems completely out of proportion to the character. Like, there’s no way his hands would fit around the haft. I’d use a separate head and haft if you want to keep the giant business end while still keeping it looking usable. I’d also reposition it so it doesn’t obscure and run parallel to his outer leg line. Having them on top of each other like that and going the same way creates some figure-ground confusion.

    I do hope you keep working on it as he seems like an interesting character.

  8. Captain_Kicktar

    For fun, I’ve been doing both a colored and non-colored version of my HMC’s,
    http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/AvinashBW.png
    http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/Avinash.png
    A drow, supposedly destined to rule a large kingdom.

  9. While looking through my characters that I already posted on various OCDs and the ones I haven’t posted yet I’ve come to a complete confusion. So, instead of posting some heromachine-created characters, I’m gonna post something different – a Stargate (one of them used in Pegasus galaxy, in “Stargate:Atlantis” show). Made it quite a long time ago, it lacks some details. Some good details. If you guys want to critique it – feel free to throw rotten eggs. Or you may just comment.
    http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/241/0/3/stargate_atlantis_by_malfar-d4876vi.jpg

  10. A picture I drew of one current and one former Impulse meeting each other.
    What I’m mostly wondering is if I’ve got the proportions and faces right, and also about the shading, mostly on the bits that are meant to be red.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/trekkie/2012/04/Impulses.jpg

    (The shadow is just because I had to take a photo of it, since I don’t have a scanner)

  11. As a side note, I did try and exaggerate the hands and feet a little bit, mostly on Bart, since he was usually drawn that way.

  12. Here’s a redesign for Lucky Lad. Wanted him to have some body armor and I kind of like the mix between Nightwing’s old arm stripes and the glove design from the new Scarlet Spider. http://heinz57xc.deviantart.com/#/d4woas7

  13. http://i979.photobucket.com/albums/ae274/capttravis/WildCATs3redo.jpg

    I had two pics I wanted to post this is the one I decided to go with. I had the team of three made in the center then decided to add two more characters. They are the Wild CATs…my version of the Birds of Prey. It looks a little off to me i think because I had made them all individually and then combined them into one pic later on. Im not sure though. Let me know what you guys think.

    Here’s their logo for those of you interested.
    http://i979.photobucket.com/albums/ae274/capttravis/WildCatsLOGO.jpg

    Also I like OC Day i havn’t been able to participate for a while, but I always enjoy seeing other people’s works and ideas. But that’s just me.

  14. Here’s something else you might be interested in. I recently interviewed Joey Esposito of IGN, their Comics Editor. There’s a slightly odd story behind this interview. Anyway, here’s the full article. http://otterrealm.net/article/inside-scoop-producing-and-reviewing-comics

  15. MScat:
    http://i979.photobucket.com/albums/ae274/capttravis/WildCATs3redo.jpg

    I had two pics I wanted to post this is the one I decided to go with. I had the team of three made in the center then decided to add two more characters. They are the Wild CATs…my version of the Birds of Prey. It looks a little off to me i think because I had made them all individually and then combined them into one pic later on. Im not sure though. Let me know what you guys think.

    Here’s their logo for those of you interested.
    http://i979.photobucket.com/albums/ae274/capttravis/WildCatsLOGO.jpg

    Also I like OC Day i havn’t been able to participate for a while, but I always enjoy seeing other people’s works and ideas. But that’s just me.

    Hate to burst your bubble there buddy, but are you aware that the WildCATs already technically exist? I mean, it’s a dead series now, but it ran for 18 years. It was an original idea from Jim Lee when he started Image.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love the designs and the idea, I’m just saying the name’s already sort of taken.

  16. In my timezone good evening for all. I want to ask you about this picture.

    So this is my Shepard and Garrus picture.The Game Mass Effect and the characters belongs to Bioware.

    This is my FemShep Katlyn Shepard and Garrus Vakarian. I love Garrus style. Very melancholy but he is very funny. And when he pull out the stick :D He is a kind person. In the games i never made romance with him, but i made this picture for a kind person who really like Garrus and sometimes give me nice critiques. I make this picture for Dionn Jinn, she has got an awesome literature in Deviantart. (If someone inspired pls read it :D)

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/tarkabarka/2012/04/Shepard-and-Garrus.png

  17. A couple of items for HM3

    First is a seal body for Kaylin88100′s Random Finalist award. I actually have one more version pass this one but it’s on my computer at home.

    Seal Body http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82815&d=1334093763

    And then next is a cape for headlessgeneral’s Random Finalist award. This one doesn’t have Color 2 added yet.

    Cape http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82822&d=1334142988

  18. dblade:
    A couple of items for HM3

    First is a seal body for Kaylin88100′s Random Finalist award. I actually have one more version pass this one but it’s on my computer at home.

    Seal Body http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82815&d=1334093763

    And then next is a cape for headlessgeneral’s Random Finalist award. This one doesn’t have Color 2 added yet.

    Cape http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82822&d=1334142988

    I’d say color 2 (for the cape) should just be in the collar.

  19. McKnight57: Hate to burst your bubble there buddy, but are you aware that the WildCATs already technically exist? I mean, it’s a dead series now, but it ran for 18 years. It was an original idea from Jim Lee when he started Image.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love the designs and the idea, I’m just saying the name’s already sort of taken.

    I am aware. And if I can’t use a random name for characters I made for my own personal enjoyment then I guess we are all screwed. I loved the the Wild C.A.T.s comic…I even enjoyed the tv series. But its a name…I’m not planning on marketing my idea or profiting from it, and if I was then the Image lawyers can contact me themselves. I did it for fun. And I posted it here to get critiques on the image not the name.

  20. Okay, so here’s a cyborg character.
    Shirtless version
    http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk15/Sulemania/Heromachine/gunpose2.png

    With shirt
    http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk15/Sulemania/Heromachine/gunpose3.png

    It isn’t terribly ambitious, and I’m once again having trouble finding clothes for the angled torso. Still, it’s the only design I’ve got in the works now.

    So: Does the pose look alright? How about the robot parts? Anything wrong with the generic background? Any clothes ideas for this guy?

  21. Thanks for the “adverticement”, Tarka.

    I’m going to make the whole Finnish Quidditch world championship team, when I get the time. This is the captain of the team, he is the keeper. The broom is my main problem.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/dionne-jinn/hm3-beta11.png

    And Jeff, at least I love to read OCDs and would be sad to see them go away completely.

  22. MScat: I am aware. And if I can’t use a random name for characters I made for my own personal enjoyment then I guess we are all screwed. I loved the the Wild C.A.T.s comic…I even enjoyed the tv series. But its a name…I’m not planning on marketing my idea or profiting from it, and if I was then the Image lawyers can contact me themselves. I did it for fun. And I posted it here to get critiques on the image not the name.

    Okay. I guess I misunderstood. Like I said though, cool designs. The poses actually work pretty well together in that image. It doesn’t look nearly as awkward as you implied. It’s nice actually to see someone wanting to do a team of women. On another note, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one why enjoyed WildCATs back in the day. It’s even more rare to find someone who remembers the cartoon.

  23. Going for a book cover look here:

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/lime/2012/04/dobesq-trio.png

    “Foreign scholars are permitted to study at the Great Library of Dobesq provided they help educate the poorer classes of the local population. Kasha’s first tutor, Winnifred, is friendly and helpful. However, it is magic that Kasha wishes to learn, and there Winnifred cannot help her. So she must pass into the tutelage of Dr. Snarke, who was under the impression that he would only be giving a few lectures, not taking on an apprentice.”

  24. Often i forgot the open critique day, so i post this picture a little bit late, because its from an older contest. At the time i post a Cyper-Thief with a little fairy and i have to post the second entry too late. I dont found the correct foot i want, but i think the rest is like i imagine it.
    http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/8987/kytfairy.png

  25. Mad Doctor:
    http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/4487/bonedemon.png

    Nifty creation! I love that disembodied eyeball in the animal skull bottom part. The whole thing has a great, creepy, otherworldly feeling. The only part I don’t love is the legs coming out of the human skull, mostly because it throws off the illusion of the positioning of the rest of the body — the ends of the legs seem to be on the same plane as the other legs, but there’s no way that could be given how they’re coming out of the dorsal side of the body.

    Minor nit, though, nice job!

  26. Lime:
    Going for a book cover look here:

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/lime/2012/04/dobesq-trio.png

    “Foreign scholars are permitted to study at the Great Library of Dobesq provided they help educate the poorer classes of the local population. Kasha’s first tutor, Winnifred, is friendly and helpful. However, it is magic that Kasha wishes to learn, and there Winnifred cannot help her. So she must pass into the tutelage of Dr. Snarke, who was under the impression that he would only be giving a few lectures, not taking on an apprentice.”

    the citadel is great. im so gonna steal that!

  27. so can we post an image we’ve made of say wolverine or superman? i saw those bioware characters so..

  28. Jeff, I believe you may have missed one. :D
    I’m referring to the image, not the article. That article’s a freebie.

  29. barbario:
    so can we post an image we’ve made of say wolverine or superman? i saw those bioware characters so..

    If it’s something you drew, yes. If it’s something you used HeroMachine to make, no.

  30. McKnight57:
    Jeff, I believe you may have missed one. :D
    I’m referring to the image, not the article. That article’s a freebie.

    I did Rozenstal and then Mad Doctor during lunch. Now I’m back at work and will get to the rest when I get home.

  31. Skybandit:
    When Myro got his face put up, I realized that there were an equal amount of winner’s faces and generic masculine humanoid characters, so I combined them.Obviously, I had NO idea what the proper hair color and skin tones for these people were, so I just put what I wanted to in there.If the people that match these faces would give me some feedback, i can correct the mistakes I am certain that I made.

    http://i1018.photobucket.com/albums/af309/skybandit/TheWinnersCircle.jpg

    Heh, I’m some kind of blacksmithing halfling. Actually, my hair is fairly dark brown (the part that hasn’t gone grey yet). I think I’ve been using dark cool brown for self-portraits before I got my winner’s portrait done.

    Cute idea, Skybandit.

  32. I haven’t actually HeroMachined anything in a while except for weekly pop quizzes, for a variety of reasons, so I wasn’t sure what I’d put up, but I remembered this one from the envy/gluttony contest.

    http://i685.photobucket.com/albums/vv217/Myrowire/Hero%20Machine%20Contest%20Entries/myro-jealousy.png

    Be as harsh with the critiques as you like, I’m curious what didn’t work. This was a little outside what I usually do in regards to design.

  33. Alphaalpharomeo

    How about another friday night fights. Maybe with power rangers mutants jla roster something like that

  34. Thanks McKnight and I know what you mean about the Wild C.A.T.s tv show.

    dblade – I love the new items you made. Me personally I would like to see the cape done as a half cape you can duplicate if you want. But that’s me and it’s not my item :-)

  35. Captain_Kicktar

    Jeff, I’ll try any critiques you suggest, if that’s why you skipped over me.

  36. Captain_Kicktar:
    Jeff, I’ll try any critiques you suggest, if that’s why you skipped over me.

    Oh, sorry, when I saw “just for fun” I took that to mean “not for critique”. I’ll put that one first when I get home this evening and work my way through these, my apologies.

  37. Gorilla Commando – Any suggestions things to add/take away/change?

    http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx260/hastur1/gorillaCommando.jpg

  38. Here is Fenrir, a character who I would say turned out well, but as always, if anything can be improved, I’m up for hearing it.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/vampyrist/2012/04/Fenrir.png

  39. MScat:
    Thanks McKnight and I know what you mean about the Wild C.A.T.s tv show.

    dblade – I love the new items you made. Me personally I would like to see the cape done as a half cape you can duplicate if you want. But that’s me and it’s not my item

    It will be posted as one side that you can duplicate and flip however you like. This just shows how it would look if you did just that.

  40. Sorry i can’t give any critique today, because tomorrow i also go for work.

  41. no one wants to critique my valkyrie?

  42. Hey Jeff, Havent you used that pic before on a critique? It doesn’t matter much I guess, it just looked familiar. Don’t really have anything good or bad to say really on the entries so far, sorry. I don’t have anything new to look at either, I haven’t had much time or inspiration to come up with something fresh so I will post something funny from my randomness folder for everyones enjoyment.

    http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/Randomness/superheroes-batman-superman-just-let-her-do-it.jpg

  43. barbario:
    http://i1260.photobucket.com/albums/ii579/barbario1/eagleknights.jpg

    here’s a valkyrie-esque mounted knight lady!

    I actually like this quite a bit. The small size is something of a problem, it’d be easier to comment on it if it was a bit bigger.

    It works very well overall. The pose is good, the pieces fit together and the color scheme doesn’t clash. The only thing I can think of that you could fiddle around with is the arm holding the bow. Compared to the rest of the picture, it doesn’t look quite as dynamic.

  44. Captain_Kicktar: http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/Avinash.png

    I like the design of the character, he looks great. The coloring I am not as crazy about. Having a red, a purple, and a pink right on top of each other is a bit jarring. The yellow is also super vivid and since it’s all in a row, sort of cuts the guy in half visually. Then the whole lower body is pretty much the same two shades of brown, which isn’t anywhere else in the upper part, so you end up feeling like they’re three different chunks stacked on top that don’t really fit together — purples/reds over the yellow bands over the brown.

    I find it hard to offer good suggestions for color stuff, I kind of have to play around with it. But in general you want to try and limit the overall number of colors to three or four, and you want to place them so they illuminate the character design rather than obscure it. Like, you have this nice layering going on in the upper body but the colors are jarring to the point where they don’t all seem to be part of the same outfit.

    I’m afraid that is the best I can do without coloring it myself and trying things out.

    Like I said, though, I like the black and white version a lot.

  45. Malfar:
    While looking through my characters that I already posted on various OCDs and the ones I haven’t posted yet I’ve come to a complete confusion. So, instead of posting some heromachine-created characters, I’m gonna post something different – a Stargate (one of them used in Pegasus galaxy, in “Stargate:Atlantis” show). Made it quite a long time ago, it lacks some details. Some good details. If you guys want to critique it – feel free to throw rotten eggs. Or you may just comment.
    http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/241/0/3/stargate_atlantis_by_malfar-d4876vi.jpg

    Neat! That looks really cool. I love the subtle glowing effects, the blue widgets work great with the black and aqua glow of the background. The pattern in the middle is nice too.

    Great job!

  46. Trekkie: http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/trekkie/2012/04/Impulses.jpg

    Cute! I like it.

    Yes, I think the proportions and the faces are good. I like the way you’ve drawn the unitards as well, without too much in the way of fussy lines or overcomplicated wrinkle attempts. The whole scene has a nice sense of whimsy and fun about it and the drawing itself is very good.

    I think this is easily my favorite hand sketch of yours yet!

  47. McKnight57:
    Here’s a redesign for Lucky Lad. Wanted him to have some body armor and I kind of like the mix between Nightwing’s old arm stripes and the glove design from the new Scarlet Spider. http://heinz57xc.deviantart.com/#/d4woas7

    I like it! You guys are on a roll today.

    The uniform design is nifty, I like the padding over the white tunic and then the arm design under that. The collar area is nice as well. I can’t think of anything I’d change in terms of the character design, it’s fresh and cool looking.

    The only minor suggestion I have for the illustration overall is to maybe come down on the greens used in the Celtic design on the wall a bit. They’re a little close in value to the greens of the uniform. If it’s spray painted on the wall, maybe even just lowering the transparency to 80% or something would help. If not, like I say, either lighten it up or darken it down a few notches just to help separate out the character greens from the wall greens.

    Very cool design! Like Trekkie’s, I think this is my favorite one of yours so far.

  48. MScat: I had two pics I wanted to post this is the one I decided to go with. I had the team of three made in the center then decided to add two more characters. They are the Wild CATs…my version of the Birds of Prey. It looks a little off to me i think because I had made them all individually and then combined them into one pic later on. Im not sure though. Let me know what you guys think.

    Neat looking team! I don’t think they come off as awkward or like they are separate images at all, you did a nice job composing the group scene and it works great in my opinion.

    Each character looks distinct, but it’s still obvious they are a team with the common design elements like the black leotards.

    I like it a lot!

  49. Tarkabarka: So this is my Shepard and Garrus picture.The Game Mass Effect and the characters belongs to Bioware.

    Looks great! The colors work well to support the figures, and I like the uniforms, guns, and other accessories. I do not know anything about Garrus and Shepard, unfortunately, as I haven’t played Mass Effect (heresy!), but they look like interesting characters and the illustration is good.

  50. dblade: A couple of items for HM3

    They look great as always, dblade!

  51. Suleman: It isn’t terribly ambitious, and I’m once again having trouble finding clothes for the angled torso. Still, it’s the only design I’ve got in the works now.

    So: Does the pose look alright? How about the robot parts? Anything wrong with the generic background? Any clothes ideas for this guy?

    Hopefully AMS will chime in with some “angled body” clothing ideas since that’s sort of his go-to look.

    As for me, I like the shirtless look. The robot accessories are good, too, enough to make it clear what he is without being overwhelming.

    I love what you’ve done with the environment, it’s ambitious but you have a very convincing and cool setting. The only suggestions I have there would be to push the gray darker on the wall behind him, so there’s a clearer foreground (the wall he’s got his foot on), middle ground (the wall behind him) and background (the blue buildings, which looks fantastic). Currently the two walls are too close in color value for me to separate them out adequately.

    Oh, also, I hate that cloud. And I’m the one who drew it! It just is too cartoony to fit with most of the other stuff in the program. I’d ditch that, then make the moon slightly larger and just a bit behind that building in the background. Right now it kind of feels wedged into place, trying too hard not to touch the other elements.

    That’s a lot of words for something I fundamentally think is pretty awesome.

  52. Dionne Jinn:
    Thanks for the “adverticement”, Tarka.

    I’m going to make the whole Finnish Quidditch world championship team, when I get the time. This is the captain of the team, he is the keeper. The broom is my main problem.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/dionne-jinn/hm3-beta11.png

    And Jeff, at least I love to read OCDs and would be sad to see them go away completely.

    Looks good! I like his face, he seems like he’d be a real person. The uniform is nice as well.

    My only suggestion is that I’d probably like to be able to see more of the broom.

    Otherwise, great job!

  53. Lime:
    Going for a book cover look here:

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/lime/2012/04/dobesq-trio.png

    “Foreign scholars are permitted to study at the Great Library of Dobesq provided they help educate the poorer classes of the local population. Kasha’s first tutor, Winnifred, is friendly and helpful. However, it is magic that Kasha wishes to learn, and there Winnifred cannot help her. So she must pass into the tutelage of Dr. Snarke, who was under the impression that he would only be giving a few lectures, not taking on an apprentice.”

    Hi, Lime!

    I like the character designs a lot, and I think the building works great, as do the nice silhouetted birds.

    In terms of a book cover, I’m not really sold, though. The foreground beneath them is so flat it doesn’t seem like it’s really part of the same environment, and yet they’re standing on it. I end up feeling like they’re floating on a design element trying to do double duty as a floor.

    They’re also grouped a bit oddly for a cover. I wonder why they’re separated, yet they seem to be a group nonetheless. The smiling of the girls and their open stance to him while he’s grumpily growling is an odd dynamic, especially given the space between them.

    You really want to tell a story with a book cover, set a scene that feels cohesive and yet invites the reader to open it and see what there is to see. I am missing the cohesion part of this particular design. I do think it’s there in the cliff wall, building, and sky, but not so much in the character grouping and in their relationship to the world around them.

    I hope that helps and isn’t too negative …

  54. Kytana:
    Often i forgot the open critique day, so i post this picture a little bit late, because its from an older contest. At the time i post a Cyper-Thief with a little fairy and i have to post the second entry too late. I dont found the correct foot i want, but i think the rest is like i imagine it.
    http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/8987/kytfairy.png

    Neat! I like the cyber fairy herself a lot, and the background is awesome. All the clothing works great. I agree that the feet aren’t exactly right, but still, overall it’s a great effect and illustration.

    The only part that looks a bit off to me is the wings. Her torso seems like it’s turned, but the wings are displayed as if they are flat, like she was facing us squarely. Not a major deal but it throws things off enough to be noticeable, at least for me.

    But, cool illustration and character!

  55. barbario:
    http://i1260.photobucket.com/albums/ii579/barbario1/eagleknights.jpg

    here’s a valkyrie-esque mounted knight lady!

    Very cool idea! And from what I can see of her, I like the character design quite a bit. The eagle works great and I definitely buy that she’s a rider.

    I need to be closer to her, though — she’s so small I can’t make out much detail at all. The sky is more than half the area, and the eagle most of the rest, making the rider feel like an afterthought. I’d zoom in on her way more, to the point where you’re seeing the entire eagle head and part of the wing but not much else. You’d still get the idea that this is a rider on an eagle, but you’d see much more of the rider.

  56. Myro:
    I haven’t actually HeroMachined anything in a while except for weekly pop quizzes, for a variety of reasons, so I wasn’t sure what I’d put up, but I remembered this one from the envy/gluttony contest.

    http://i685.photobucket.com/albums/vv217/Myrowire/Hero%20Machine%20Contest%20Entries/myro-jealousy.png

    Be as harsh with the critiques as you like, I’m curious what didn’t work.This was a little outside what I usually do in regards to design.

    I liked everything about the characters in this one — I thought the poses worked and you definitely got jealousy from the woman in back. My main problems with it were the face of the woman in front. The features don’t seem to fit the outline of the head/face area and it ends up kind of creepy.

    The background also worked against it. It’s too much to be a simple design element, but not enough to be an actual place.

    Which is too bad, because as I said I think you nailed the emotion perfectly.

  57. Arioch:
    Isen

    http://img11.hostingpics.net/pics/253454HM3Isen17.png

    Love the sword, very cool! And the spell effects around the hand are fantastic too. The character design itself is simple but effective.

    I only have two suggestions, both minor. No, wait, three.

    First, I don’t like the way the cape pops out above his right shoulder. The idea behind the over wrap is that it’s the same as the cape behind him. If part of it juts above the wrap it ruins the illusion.

    Second, something about his eye coloring seems off. I think it’s just that the glow is in front of the hair, which is supposed to be in front of the eye.

    And finally, I’d suggest a round circle with that background color behind him instead of having it fill the entire rectangular background. That will help pull the design together a lot and emphasize the character more.

    Otherwise, good job!

  58. Sutter_Kaine:
    Gorilla Commando – Any suggestions things to add/take away/change?

    http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx260/hastur1/gorillaCommando.jpg

    Ha ha, I LOVE it! Awesome picture, Sutter Kaine! I’ve missed you around here.

    And no, I wouldn’t change a thing. Fantastic image.

  59. Vampyrist:
    Here is Fenrir, a character who I would say turned out well, but as always, if anything can be improved, I’m up for hearing it.

    Ooo, great eyes. Very effective. The whole thing works pretty well, actually. My only suggestions would be to lose one of the two sets of chains (the second strands add confusion instead of clarity in my opinion) and maybe to get rid of that shadow over his feet. I can’t tell where the light would be coming from to make a shadow like that, but if it’s a fog or something it’s not coming off that way.

    But yeah, really nice job on selling the concept and making him look menacing.
    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/vampyrist/2012/04/Fenrir.png

  60. yeah it was very difficult to do so small. i wanted to do multiple riders
    but it was too time consuming

  61. TOOL:
    Hey Jeff, Havent you used that pic before on a critique?It doesn’t matter much I guess, it just looked familiar.Don’t really have anything good or bad to say really on the entries so far, sorry.I don’t have anything new to look at either, I haven’t had much time or inspiration to come up with something fresh so I will post something funny from my randomness folder for everyones enjoyment.

    http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/Randomness/superheroes-batman-superman-just-let-her-do-it.jpg

    I probably have. These things aren’t easy to find, you know!

    Funny image, thanks :-)

  62. Hey look, I caught up! Wahoo!

  63. I think I used that second one already. See, it’s not so easy!

  64. LOL I was just trying to help, its hard to find what your looking for when you “Google” something and something else totally random pops up and has nothing to do with what your looking for.

  65. Ok, with no requests in the last few hours we’ll call this one closed. Thanks to all who participated!

  66. barbario: the citadel is great. im so gonna steal that!

    Thanks! I’ve added it to the Custom Items Archive for you (or anyone else) under Backgrounds/Historic and Fantasy.

  67. Jeff Hebert: Hi, Lime!

    I like the character designs a lot, and I think the building works great, as do the nice silhouetted birds.

    In terms of a book cover, I’m not really sold, though. The foreground beneath them is so flat it doesn’t seem like it’s really part of the same environment, and yet they’re standing on it. I end up feeling like they’re floating on a design element trying to do double duty as a floor.

    They’re also grouped a bit oddly for a cover. I wonder why they’re separated, yet they seem to be a group nonetheless. The smiling of the girls and their open stance to him while he’s grumpily growling is an odd dynamic, especially given the space between them.

    You really want to tell a story with a book cover, set a scene that feels cohesive and yet invites the reader to open it and see what there is to see. I am missing the cohesion part of this particular design. I do think it’s there in the cliff wall, building, and sky, but not so much in the character grouping and in their relationship to the world around them.

    I hope that helps and isn’t too negative …

    Not at all! :) It’s still a work in progress, as I was working on it last night and realized it was super-late, otherwise there would have been more to the background. Dr. Snarke is away from the girls partly to make the building more visible, and partly because he doesn’t like being followed around by students. I suppose I could work on making his disdain a bit clearer! ;)

  68. Another of my entries for CC 77: Sporty! The links failed because my ISP dropped personal website service.

    The Shark: 2034 Birmingham Autoduel Association Super Series (BADASS) Champion

    I like OCD and understand it’s harder to do with a full-time job. I’m so freaking busy at work, I wonder if it’s worth it to even go home to sleep!

    For something different, maybe spotlight an HMer’s character or story. There’s plenty of action on the Forums. But, HeroMachine is the gateway to the goods. Still waiting for the next FNF. ;9

  69. Thanks for sharing that citadel, Lime, it really is spectacular.

  70. The Atomic Punk:
    Another of my entries for CC 77: Sporty!The links failed because my ISP dropped personal website service.

    The Shark: 2034 Birmingham Autoduel Association Super Series (BADASS) Champion

    I like OCD and understand it’s harder to do with a full-time job.I’m so freaking busy at work, I wonder if it’s worth it to even go home to sleep!

    For something different, maybe spotlight an HMer’s character or story.There’s plenty of action on the Forums.But, HeroMachine is the gateway to the goods.Still waiting for the next FNF. ;9

    I love it! It’s been a while since I’ve played Car Wars, and this brought back a couple memories.
    The good: I love the car! Very convincing, nice shark logo on the hood, and good use of items to give it some weaponry.
    The, well, less good: Not knocking your item selection to dress the driver, because that’s what you’d expect someone to wear if they were to engage in professional vehicular combat, but he comes off a little plain. Maybe if there was a splash if color, or maybe put the same shark logo on his suit as well, to help catch the eye.

    Still, I do like it.

  71. Captain_Kicktar

    No problem, Jeff, I assumed it was because of the whole me not taking critiques well thing.

    I switched the shirt to a dark orange, and the pants to a darker version of the cloak he has on, and- well, it would be easier to just show you: http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/Avinash2.png

  72. Jeff Hebert: Very cool idea! And from what I can see of her, I like the character design quite a bit. The eagle works great and I definitely buy that she’s a rider.

    I need to be closer to her, though — she’s so small I can’t make out much detail at all. The sky is more than half the area, and the eagle most of the rest, making the rider feel like an afterthought. I’d zoom in on her way more, to the point where you’re seeing the entire eagle head and part of the wing but not much else. You’d still get the idea that this is a rider on an eagle, but you’d see much more of the rider.

    thanks for the critique. i kinda went for smaller to imply this is the view that the pcs will see her approaching from there dirigible. her and dozens of others. also that was as big as i cud figure out how to make the eagle

  73. Barbario? make a closeup of valkyrie with cropped feathery area, then shadow of tiny v on big e ON DIRIGIBLE OR MOUNTAIN. Just be sure to line up shadows in perspective with shading on character.
    Lime: Put on a title between foreground and citadel. That will forgive depth. Sutter? gun held in one foot? Kytana? What about a human foot with a translucent pattern masked to it and maybe a finger ‘lengthening’ the little toe? MScat? maybe shorten the arms of front woman?
    JEFF! So many people participate now, I can’t offer my suggestions to all participants that deserve them. As it is, I can’t get to them as early as most.

  74. dblade: Seal Body http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82815&d=1334093763

    Yay! Thanks, dblade! That looks great! :D

  75. Myro

    Thanks, Myro. I did try jazzing up the body armor, even removed the helmet. I couldn’t get the logo to fit so it didn’t look like a blob. In the end, I wanted the vehicle itself to be the focus. A plain suit with an anonymous driver worked best to achieve that.

    The Shark is legit. I used Klaus Breuer’s Car Wars Vehicle Designer to create the Spec Sheet for you autoduellists out there who want to give it a test drive.

    Mad Doctor

    Bone Demon is awesomely creepy. I agree that the use of the human skull doesn’t make for a convincing posterior / coccyx. Maybe some masking or use insignias to cover the eye sockets.

    Now, if the demon itself is a sort of composite or humonculus, then keep the skull but maybe move the legs underneath or off to the side. They look disjointed.

    barbario

    Eagle Knight is great. I agree with adding a silhouetted dirigible in the background to add perspective.

    dblade

    Love the items. I know it’s Kaylin’s prize, but how difficult would it be to finish the seal as a Companion as well?

    Apologies to all that I missed.

  76. Thanks for the kind words, jeff, it means a lot to me.

    I hadn’t noticed about the eye, this was, indeed, pretty bad.

    I’ve tried to follow up on your suggestions, and here’s the result:
    http://img11.hostingpics.net/pics/141388HM3Isen20.png

  77. Jeff Hebert: Hopefully AMS will chime in with some “angled body” clothing ideas since that’s sort of his go-to look.

    As for me, I like the shirtless look. The robot accessories are good, too, enough to make it clear what he is without being overwhelming.

    I love what you’ve done with the environment, it’s ambitious but you have a very convincing and cool setting. The only suggestions I have there would be to push the gray darker on the wall behind him, so there’s a clearer foreground (the wall he’s got his foot on), middle ground (the wall behind him) and background (the blue buildings, which looks fantastic). Currently the two walls are too close in color value for me to separate them out adequately.

    Oh, also, I hate that cloud. And I’m the one who drew it! It just is too cartoony to fit with most of the other stuff in the program. I’d ditch that, then make the moon slightly larger and just a bit behind that building in the background. Right now it kind of feels wedged into place, trying too hard not to touch the other elements.

    That’s a lot of words for something I fundamentally think is pretty awesome.

    Chime, Chime!

    Ok Suleman, here’s how I get around the “no clothing for 3/4 turn torso”. I’ve done 2 examples for you to look at. The first is a simple torso with the top item on top. No alteration. The second example is what I do to make it work. Take 2 insigna squares and size and line up to your torso. I use an invisable line down the middle of the chest through the abs. Then take 1 top items and angle and “MASK” to the square item. It will now be cut in half. Resize if needed. Then proceed with the other side doing the same process. You will then have to shrink or enlarge depending on which side you started with. This creates the illusion of a 3/4 turn top item. You can do this with anything! Headgear, faces, anything….

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/ams/2012/04/example-for-Suleman.png

    Check this recipe out too.http://www.heromachine.com/2011/07/07/face/

  78. comment awaiting mderation….

  79. Thanks Jeff. I only to advice anyone if have time try out, but finish before the ME3 last 10 minute :D

    So if i have time i made some critique. (No one critique my either:( )

  80. dblade: dblade

    cool! what would be another good item is a Mr Sinister or Azrael cape.

  81. - Skybandit
    He he he, awesome. You use the standard companions with the creator faces. Awesome idea. You give an unique feeling for this picture

    – Rozenstal
    I like the pose, very strong feeling of the character. Very neat concept. My only visual problem is the standard legs are not perfect for the upper body pose.

    – Captain Kicktar
    The line art (black and white is nice picture, for me shown a strong feelings. The colored version i think not perfect, the colors are not harmonized. If i coloring i made the full cloth with black and change the cape color for yellow or red. (Very difficult to find the perfect colors, but i especially like the bw version.)

    – Mad Doctor
    I’m not that type who make monsters, but this looking so nasty. I like the unusual concepts, and that is very good.

    – Malfar
    Omg. I call Jack O’neill another stargate find in the earth. Very good color work. That sell me the picture to this is a stargate. G.W.

    – Trekkie
    So i don’t know more with the DC characters, but after your picture i check it. He he cool picture. The face expressions is so good. The pose and face sell me this picture. G. W. I like this picture.

    – McKnight
    I think the character looks great. I like the upper body clothing (armoring). I think the chest insignia is so cool. I only missing something for the legs.

    – MsCat
    I also have a tean with the name Birds of Prey. Also five woman :D So especially i love the five woman concept :D So the team is very good. No one is stronger than the others. The colors are well choosen.
    The logo is very good. I like any bw art.

    – Dblade
    The whale body is good, you make great work with it . I thanks your work
    The cape is also nice work.

    – Suleman
    The pose is great, very dinamic. The weapon looks unique. For me the background a little bit dizzy. Too many item, and don’t seen good to he is in the building or what happens.

    – Dionne Jinn
    Wizard of the world united. So the color work shown me the nationality. (Personally i love Finland, a lot of great metal band comes there :D) The figure is good. I only change the broom itt o simple for me for a national player, the is a better stuff for the broom in the end of the polearm section. Heila Suomi (if i wrote well)

    – Lime
    The concept is good. The three figure looks unique. The building is very great concept. The colors perfect. Very good picture. I only have visual problems the bigger girl mouth is to big and change the outline color a little bit darker. Btw great picture.

    – Kytana
    I love this picture extremly good. I think the fairy face is so cool. The colors perfect, but i change the color of the gradient. (transparent the color). And don’t understand how get that big nasty feet of this cute goth fairy…. :D BTW i love the concept. Great work Kytana.

    – Barbario
    The concept and the colorwork is good. The character is a little bit small. Try to make bigger size of the eagle the resize the character.
    Personnal Message: That Shepard is my Shepard so i think i have the permision to made her. And to not problem to made Garrus that the reason to wrote the character belongs to bioware.

    – Myro
    The green eyed monster. Nice picture yeap the blond girl very shown the envy. The picture overally very good. I love the expression what shown this. The lover girl face a little bit not position well. I can’t wrote more very nice picture very emotional and good expression of envy.

    – Arioch
    I like the weapon looks good. I personally missing some armor or other stuff from the upper body. Clean concept but sometimes the simple and clean more enough.

    – Sutter Kaine
    I think that is an extremly good picture. I think no needed to change anything. The colorwork and the item usage is perfect. Great work

    – Vampyrist
    Very good work. I love the way what you do with the dark and the light. And the eyes is extremly good. I only advice a little hair for the upperbody and the arm upper size, to what the reason to prisoned the character. Great work Vampyrist.

    – The Atomic Punk
    The car looks very neat. I like what you do with the car. The weapons are fitt well, and don’t seen to unequiped. And the insignia in the side of the car is a great idea. The armor color is fitt well for the car. Nice work.

    – FRM
    So very nice way of the vase. Few advice if i made this. I change the insignias color in the vase for gold. And give a little red circle insignias behind the roses.

    I can’t read Jeff what advice so this is my personnal opinion. Very nice work you made. Grat for everyone
    I hope i don’t jump anyone so if yes then really sorry.