Caption Contest 119: Howdy!

Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel (which comes to us courtesy of the always awesome Glenn3’s “Say What?” PhotoBucket site):

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author’s choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit to entries, but please, self-edit and only put up ones you genuinely think are good!

(Original panel © DC Comics, Inc.)

116 Responses to Caption Contest 119: Howdy!

  1. I”M BATMAN!!!!

  2. No sequel for you, my little green friend!

  3. Got any change? The batmobile is double parked!

  4. paper beats rock!

  5. Who were you expecting? Keaton? Klimer? CLOONEY?!?!

  6. 1) Just because I don’t sparkle doesn’t mean I’m not a vampire.
    2) My suit is molded metal, what’s your excuse for looking like a Ken doll?
    3) What? It was hot under that mask.
    4) Who’s Bruce Wayne?! He’s your daddy!
    5) Who’s Bruce Wayne?! Boy, don’t MAKE me break your other arm!
    6) Who the Hell is Hal Jordan?! Yeah, that’s right punk, I know all about you.

  7. Ring, shming. You want to get chicks, get yourself a car!

  8. Now that you’ve seen my face, it’s time to die.

  9. …and then the prop guy kept on talking, interfereing with my method acting. So, I chewed him out. That’s how I got on TMZ…..

  10. 7) Who’s Bruce Wayne?! Just the man about to give you a beat down for talkin’ back!
    8) Who’s Bruce Wayne?! He’s the man about to do what the rest you can’t do: Save the world!
    9) Who’s Bruce Wayne?! Just the man who’s gonna steal your girl and make it look easy.
    10) Runaway little lightning bug and let the big boys handle this.
    11) Seriously, how have you survived this far?!
    12) Seriously, I’m embarrassed for you right now.

  11. 1) I love the Power Glove… It’s so bad.

  12. Rodimus Mike

    “Mass Effect did it.”

  13. 13) I’m Batman! Making your job look easy since 1939.
    14) I’m Bruce Wayne! Mitt Romney and are like THIS! llm.

  14. “Look at your costume, now at mine, back to your costume, back to mine. Don’t you wish your costume looked like mine?”

    “WAIT! You wouldn’t punch a harmless millionaire would you?”

    “You’re surprised I knew you were hall Jordan?! See THIS? my identity is about as secret as yours is when my mask is OFF.”

  15. “When I said arm yourself I didn’t mean literally- Never mind.”

  16. Dr. Shrinker

    Did the arm come with an “off” switch?

  17. Is that thing powered by green M&Ms? Because… well… wanna go see the Batcave?

  18. Ritoru Bushi

    1) So… you’re into armor, huh?

    2) Sorry, bad gas.

    3) Keep a secret?

    4) Leave a city left next time

  19. * I’m sorry. I guess I went a little crazy with that highlighter pen.

    * You know, If that was my arm, I’d have Colour 1 at 100%.

  20. Wait, how do i know your not gonna go all “Parralax” on me?

  21. 1. The awkward moment where I should be wearing a mask and say something epic about myself…
    2. Nope still Batman.
    3. Another day saved by my handsome face.
    4. I’m Batman and I know it.
    5. …and that’s what she said.

  22. You know, I also revealed my identity to Catwoman. So, you wanna go find a roof?

  23. Dont you think that’s a bit too much for a prostate exam?

  24. You know Ben 10 has one of those too

  25. “Oh, yeah? Well, I came back from the dead AND I have no powers.”

  26. “Do you feel lucky, punk?…Well do you?”

  27. “Nanananana-Na! Batman!”

  28. “I didn’t know they made omni-tools in green.”

  29. Hey! You pre-ordered Mass Effect 3 too!

  30. Wanna get high?

  31. 1. No, i am not batman. I am his stunt double.
    2. Next time you dont touch the switch!
    3. Shampoo and blow dry, please!
    4. Is this your new costume, robin?
    5. Where is my Bat-Neuralyzer when i need them?

  32. 1.”…And two hours later everyone was gone, the garbage can was empty, and the dog was pregnant. How was your weekend?”
    2.”So you’re telling me that that green arm thing is gonna help us kill all those giant spider robots? Next you’ll be telling me that blue lesbians control half the galaxy!
    3.”I know the operation was totally worth it, I look like Kyle Rayner!”

  33. “We’re going to need the bat-excavator.”

  34. 1: Okay, here’s my face. Now straighten up the city!
    2: It’s gang-green, all right!
    3: Point the hair-dryer at my HEAD!
    4: You win, I don’t have one of those on my utility belt!
    5: Lonely, are you?
    6: Your feet are on fire!
    7: No, you can’t be in my next movie!

  35. “Who am I? I’m the god-d**n Batman!”

  36. Gabe Puratekuta

    1: “Sinestro sent me to tell you that you’re his bitch now.”
    2: “So, you can make something other than just an umbrella and hammer…”
    3: “I bet you’re really famous in Ireland.”
    4: “Who said you can join us?”
    5: “That’s nice, but Superman needs his ice cream now.”
    6: “What did you do?”
    7: “You work for me now!”
    8: “Did you see the size of Superman’s loogie?”
    9: “Get me a soda, bitch!”
    10: “Would it be awkward if I had a Sinestro Corp. ring?”

  37. 1. “Okay, Hal. Your turn again: Truth or Dare?”

  38. thought of a better one

    “That’s right, I’m the God-d**m Bruce Wayne.”

  39. “How do you wipe with those things?”

  40. “Utility belt beats Power Ring.”

  41. Is that the new Pip Boy? I want one, ALFRED!

  42. daniel england

    i’m batman, who are you, ken. if you where barbie

  43. Hey, at least mine actually hides my face Hal. I mean really,only the eyes?

  44. daniel england

    1. i’m batman and you are? you look like a wannabe ken
    2. i don’t need a ring, i got weapons and no super powers
    3. have seen my bat mobile, i think i lost it
    4. what the hell did you that. you ruin the city
    5. (Comment deleted by Jeff for inappropriate content.)

  45. “Now we’re even. I know who you are now you know who I am. Seriously, that mask gives away your identity faster than the Batmobile uses a gallon of gas.”

  46. Batman and handsome. I win again.

    Aw, Did you break your little arm?

  47. 1. “Nice omni-tool.”

  48. If you was my side kick you’d get all the hot chics

  49. Nice costume party, isn’t it

  50. Come here often?

  51. “Nooo. It’s not called the bat-belt. It’s my utility belt.”

  52. 8: I have cowl hair. What’s your excuse?
    9: See? I’m NOT Harvey Dent!
    10: It’s Midnight, take your mask off!
    11: Wayne Enterprises won’t finance Glow-In-The-Dark prosthetics!

  53. They’re keeping the deposit.

  54. Black Griffin

    Best…Party…Ever

  55. 1 Listen. This is serious. You will go blind.
    2 One punch. Ask your buddy Guy.
    3 Bat union. I’m on my 15.

  56. Bryce Wasley

    Please tell me your bionic arm isn’t your wife.

  57. 15) When that little green night light runs out of juice, you’ll wish Bruce Wayne was the face you’d see.
    16) How’s my hair look? There was no extra space for a mirror in the utility belt.
    17) I’m Batman! That means none of you have a shot with Wonder Woman anymore.

  58. 18) I’m a billionaire playboy with fancy toys, badass cars, my son is a ninja, I’ve gone through time and my back was broken and healed in six months. Top that!

  59. hyperanthropos

    1. Let’s shake hands … uh, never mind.
    2. Rock, Scissor, Paper?
    3. Your arm is more busted than your movie.
    4. Sorry Hal, there is not going to be a sequel.
    5. Yes, I believe now is an approbiate moment to discuss our movie franchises
    6. Okay, but I will be on top.

  60. I think we should join forces, I heard rumours about a Liefeld redo of our costumes.

  61. Dan Gonzalez

    You think the growl-voice is too much?

  62. I win

  63. “Most powerful weapon in the Universe” and you couldn’t see thru a leather mask? What am I going to do with you, Hal?

  64. 1) So what did you think of the end of Mass Effect 3?
    2) You know omni-tools are yellow right?
    3) Sinestro’s Shephard costume is more accurate.

  65. Hyborian_Dog

    Commander Shepard… I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but they added some new romance options to the game…

  66. Hope you got a magnifying glass in that there arm of yours bud! Else you’re gonna have one heckova hard time reading what I’m about to tell you, I mean, that darn artist has left one poncy little itsy-bitsy piece of space for that there lettering guy to try and cram in my side-splitten’ wisecrack and the necessary plot development to explain how comes your appendages are disappearing like some martial arts Ninja-ghost warped out on a PCP comedown, I mean, there’s hardly room in there to for a “Zounds electric!” before the poor lad runs out of space. Anyway, can’t stand around jawing, got a city to save and so forth – so-long dude, thanks for all the fish, and like I say, folks round here are mostly armless so you should fit on now problemo….

  67. “Is that a hard light construct in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

  68. Now that we really are the last two men left on earth…okay.

    (@daniel england’s #5: dude, don’t be a dick.)

  69. 2. “I’ve shown you mine…

  70. 3. “Help me find my contact.”

  71. daniel england:
    5. (comment deleted by Jeff)

    C’mon, buddy. Let’s not be offensive. Or offensively redundant at that. You would think both ‘gay’ and ‘fag’ together to be unnecessary. One could certainly infer the former from the latter in any case. Besides, the possibility of Green Lantern being gay isn’t something to disparage. After all, Midnighter’s gay and he could certainly hold his own against Batman :P

  72. “……On second thought, I’m not gonna fist bump.”

  73. “Very well, I reluctantly agree to sign your arm cast, but only because I’m the one that Bat-Broke it in the first place.”

  74. DiCicatriz is right, that comment was out of line, Daniel.

  75. 1. “Handy? Errrr, no thanks.”
    2. “Yeah, I can put a good word in for you with Rocksteady. Though…about your rogues’ gallery…”
    3. “Look, all I’m saying is that bright glowing green isn’t exactly a good color for stealth missions.”
    4. “Now, on the other hand, look at my cowl. Not only does it cover my head and more than half my face, but the ears both distort my profile and contain communications equipm…and I’m apparently not wearing it.”
    5. “You know, I don’t know why I’m saying this, but your hair would look really good with graying temples.”

  76. DiCicatriz:
    1) I love the Power Glove… It’s so bad.

    I woulda gone with “rad.” ;)

  77. Seriously, though, how much for the ring?

  78. “Don’t shoot. I’m not a real bat-man, it’s just a costume.”

  79. 1)Batarang beats machine arm evertime.
    2)Lets blame this mess on superman !
    3)I bet superman and wonder woman had fun last night !
    4)so you and she hulk are a thing now!
    5)Only kryptonite could beat superman !
    6)Hahah you weakness is yellow !
    7)i have no idea why i remove the mask.

  80. DiCicatriz:After all, Midnighter’s gay and he could certainly hold his own against Batman

    No question there, and in fact he may be tougher than Batman. Just think of the kind of lovin’ that Apollo must be able to dish out. He loses control for one second, and say bye-bye to your bits.

  81. Damn. I need to check in more often so *I* can post the funny ones before someone else.

  82. 1. yeh, I remember MY first landing . . .
    2. Lefty?
    3. Show me how you salute.
    4. put ‘er–SOMEWHERE ELSE, pal . . .
    5. what’s the sound of one green hand clapping?

  83. A domino mask? Really?

  84. So much for the Justice League movie

  85. Pffffffftttt, you need to use guns?

  86. Tom "Deadman" Lively

    1) “You’re right, Jergens should definitely put a disclamer on the bottle!”
    2) “I was told it would cause you to go blind, they didn’t say anything about this.”
    3) “How am I supposed to sign that cast?”

  87. 1) “You’re right, Jergens should definitely have a disclaimer on the bottle.”
    2) “I was told that it would cause you to go blind, I never heard about this!”
    3) “Now how am I supposed to sign that cast?”

  88. Do you have problems with your costume chaffing? Better pull out the “Bat-talcum” again….

  89. One TV show and movie? HA! I got shows and movies coming out the ying yang!

  90. You really didn’t know I’m a British actor using a american accent? That’s why I’ve got an oscar, mate! I’m bloody Batman, wanker!

  91. *sigh* this may be deleted, IDK but, here goes– Man, and I thought going Blind was the worst that could happen??!!

  92. 1. Poke me and die, bitch!
    2. Um, so, I know we just met and all but do you think you might, um, go to the Spring Dance with me?
    3. I say we tell the Commissioner that it was all Superman.
    4. Wanna touch my abs? They’re real leather…
    5. So you can make ANY shape outta that arm?
    6. No, I can’t fit a rocket launcher in my utility belt…
    7. …So. You wanna go to Atlantic City?
    8. *Someone’s gonna get it!* (singsong voice)
    9. You know, maybe that last bowl of weed wasn’t such a good idea…
    10. ARE YOU GLOWING?! Gotta get off the shrooms…

  93. Hey, welcome to…..um……..somewhere?

  94. At least my face is hidden most of the time! Your mask is so small, why not just get green eye-liner?

  95. Of course! The GL Corps could have sent someone good like Rayner or Stewart, but NO! They sent you.

  96. Was that YOU i saw snatch a frank from the stand that bane threw? Heroes these days!

  97. 2. “Yeah, I didn’t buy Ryan Reynolds as you either.”

  98. “So you can create anything you see in your mind using the energy from that ring, cool bro. I guess that means your too poor to just by the real thing.”

  99. Better a dark knight as a green light.

  100. “challenge to arm wrestle?”

  101. “What did we do last night?”

  102. “Hal, I am your father.”
    “Yes, you are on an episode of Under Cover Boss.”
    “You just have a ring, I have a belt.”
    “Do those rings come in black too?”
    “Making a extra appendage with you ring, tells me that you are having a mad hood problem, do you need to talk about it?”

  103. Dude, I thought that ring meant you were engaged with Carroll I never new it was a ring that kills people…ALFRED!!!!!

  104. Whats with people with powers ,they always go f***ing up everything

  105. What are you looking at haven’t you ever seen a rich millionaire playboy be a super serious superhero before?

  106. 1: “Really dude? I tell you ‘Green’s not my favorite color’ and you level my house?”
    2: “I took off my mask, now it’s your turn.”
    3: “Soo…..Robin lent you his mask?”
    4: “Hey, want to get some friends and start up a club? We can even make a game about it!”
    5: “You’re a lot shorter in person….”
    6: “See? My mask covers my head well, I bet your tanline makes it hard to keep your dayjob a secret.”

  107. 1. Next time, I’ll call a real plumber.
    2. I’m just going to stand here and bask in my awesomeness.
    3. You just experienced what I call “bat-sh!t crazy.”
    4. Two superheroes walk into a building, then we blew it up.
    5. Wheh, it gets hot under the cowl!
    6. Stand perfectly still. There’s a giant rabbit right behind you.

  108. “What do you mean I forgot to put something on?”

  109. -“Jhonny, la gente esta muy loca.”
    -“I preffer to use anonymous mask”

  110. i am ironman!

  111. 1.) Nice going jerk-face.

    2.) Yea…Im just that handsome.

    3.) Don’t…drink…Absinthe

    4.) Dammit Hal!

    5.) Let’s talk about me…

    6.) That’s right…and don’t you forget it

    7.) I’m Bruce Wayne bleotch!!!

  112. Sorry, i had to see that arm from a better view

  113. 3.”Okay, you win. Carol is much crazier than any woman I know.”

  114. Green Lantern: Is it true that Batman trained Chuck Norris?
    Batman: I am Batman!

  115. Um, Hal…I know said we were going to Epcot but you REALLY coulda gone easier on the discharge…

  116. Can you make a sandwich with that thing?