Disembodied Camocleavage

Valuable contributor ReaderKate sent in these arresting photos of the Starfire (aka "Not That One, the Other One"):

I think her commentary was spot-on, so I gleefully steal it and present it to you: "She apparently couldn't decide whether to wear camouflage or show skin, and tried to split the difference. And while she'd only have to shave one leg and one armpit while wearing this, it must have been a bitch to put on (and to draw.)".

This is why diversity is important -- it never would have occurred to me to think about having to shave only one pit and one leg. And yet now, I can't stop thinking about it. It makes me wonder if other super-heroines bother shaving their legs at all if they're in full tights. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't, though I wouldn't be caught dead in some of the outfits these unfortunate women are crammed into in the first place.

But I bet that's one reason Black Canary wears that little jacket -- it's the perfect excuse for going au naturel in the underarm arena. And she seems like the kind of practical person who would put serious thought into that.

Personal hygiene aside, Starfire ("Look, I'm The Other One, Pal!") looks like she was attacked by a hyperactive toddler with a pair of scissors and sketchy motor control. Pieces of this outfit are chopped off seemingly at random, like that rectangular window on her upper arm. What, suddenly your biceps are sweaty but only in that one spot?

The Power Girl Boob Portal has virtually become a staple of female super-costume design, of course, with the accompanying and even more nonsensical in context high collar. Seriously, who gets dressed and worries more about hiding their throat than their boobs?

The same person who thinks only half her body needs to be camouflaged, that's who. I wonder what kind of environment is right for this kind of mentally deranged disguise pattern? Perhaps an orgy at the Swamp-Thing's place? I can't think of where else you'd run into a random assemblage of naked body parts and foliage, unless maybe Poison Ivy finally got Batman where she wanted him.

I look forward to your animal-vegetable prurient speculation in the comments.

18 Responses to Disembodied Camocleavage

  1. personally I am confused. was she going for the 1-piece bikini or the spandex catsuit??? And if remember she has no superpowers.

    I prefer Black Canary’s spandex jumpsuit uniform.

  2. Snickering @ “Boob Portal.”

    Say, since this comes up so often, maybe we should base a contest around it? (If there hasn’t been one already, I guess.) Design a superheroine costume that is interesting/awe-inspiring/fear-into-the-hearts-of-villains-striking/fashion-with-practicality-combining, without being stupid, demeaning, or beyond one’s ability to suspend disbelief.

  3. Wait, there’s another Starfire? Actually, according to a quick check, there are four, but I don’t know if all of them are DC or not.

    What I can say is that I’m mildly surprised that despite the fact that this Starfire looks in no way as if she’s Tamaranean, she still manages a costume way skankier than anything I’ve seen Princess Koriand’r wear (including one time when all she was wearing were some well-placed shadows).
    I think Jeff and ReaderKate managed to hit all the salient points on why this costume is so bad, but to expand on what Kate write, what if Starfire had a brain lapse,and forgot which leg and which pit to shave? SHUD-der! That would be awkward.

  4. Lime:
    Snickering @ “Boob Portal.”

    Say, since this comes up so often, maybe we should base a contest around it? (If there hasn’t been one already, I guess.) Design a superheroine costume that is interesting/awe-inspiring/fear-into-the-hearts-of-villains-striking/fashion-with-practicality-combining, without being stupid, demeaning, or beyond one’s ability to suspend disbelief.

    But also will sell comic books to 12 year old males and giant man-childs.

  5. Shaddap: But also will sell comic books to 12 year old males and giant man-childs.

    What’s wrong with giant man-childs. I think I might be offended on that one. lol

  6. I’m actually amazed that they didn’t give her high heels just to complete the utter nonsense of this costume. I’ve never heard of this Firestar before, but I’m guessing from the cover in the fisrt pannel she’s supposed to be some kind of female space Conan? She’s sure rocking his haircut.

  7. This doesn’t qualify, but I hate to let a good joke go to waste just because it doesn’t fit. So here goes.

    “In space, no one can hear your mullet.”

    I should’ve just let it go. Sigh.

  8. Jeff Hebert:
    This doesn’t qualify, but I hate to let a good joke go to waste just because it doesn’t fit. So here goes.

    “In space, no one can hear your mullet.”

    I should’ve just let it go. Sigh.

    I dunno, it got a laugh out of me.

  9. I use to read comic but comic now are turning into soap operas written by writers who have no idea of the personality of the character or even care.

    DC has 4 Starfires, one is the more known alien (orange and green) the other is less known alien (asian human-like), One Supergirl villain (unsure if alien or human), and last the only male-Red Star (was his name until he found out about Koriand’r in the titans

  10. In the top picture, it looks like she has a pocket for her pantsless leg.

  11. @Dan: as I recall, this Starfire was a rebel in a far-future Earth that had been conquered by aliens who kept human technology down on the medieval level. She was a swordswoman who was occaisionally able to scavange bits and pieces of alien tech.

    After several issues, the pencillers and inkers rebelled against drawing this linoleum-floor-patterned getup and dressed her in a basic halter top and hot pants instead.
    http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060304022417/marvel_dc/images/4/4d/Starfire_I_1.JPG

  12. There are THREE great explanations for the odd costume. None of which are likely to have ever occurred to the authors.

    1. “I, as a practioner of the Slash religion, do humbly supplicate and demonstrate my faith in the being that enhances my swordplay, making my movements accurate but confusing to my enemies, by wearing this diagonal and exact but bizarre garment. Praises and disoriented fugues be sacrificed from all synaptic energies to SLASH!”

    2. “So you’re a great fighter, huh? Are you also great at dodging? Look at my outfit and tell me how great I am at dodging. I got no scars and even had time to CHOOSE which pieces of cloth my last opponent cut away. If I had had a sword then, he would have died much faster. EN GARDE!”

    3. Starfire came prepared to fight a creature half yellow-speckled Sleestak and half Traalian BugBlatter Beast. In this getup, half the creature would be confused, and half would believe it couldn’t see her.

  13. Jeff Hebert:
    This doesn’t qualify, but I hate to let a good joke go to waste just because it doesn’t fit. So here goes.

    “In space, no one can hear your mullet.”

    I should’ve just let it go. Sigh.

    It should be, “In space, no one can hear your Achy Breaky Heart.”

  14. This costume is just weirdly stupid and the colours are eye-watering. I can’t really think of anything else to add to that, except it’s probably quite uncomfortable.

  15. Nick Hentschel

    “Sexy” clothing rarely has any logic to it… and hence, rarely any taste.

    A simpler, more practical outfit would, ironically, have been more attractive.

  16. To be fair to her there are 30 years between those two pictures, which makes that costume pure 1970’s jazz-funk! This was clearly the sort of minor title DC gave to their interns in the hope they might come up with something exciting. Instead they came up with a costume which appears to be either a tragic wallpapering accident or some sort of half-woman, half-chameleon hybrid. Yeuch!

  17. William Peterson

    The scary thing is, she’s actually very well drawn for someone with such a poorly conceived costume…

  18. Sorry Jeff, but with such tight spandex, it would show if you’re not waxed. In my humble (female) opinion, anyway.