Open Critique Day 33

Although my new full-time (non-HeroMachine) job might keep me from actually getting to these before this afternoon, it’s time for another Open Critique Day!

If you have a HeroMachine illustration or another piece of artwork you’ve done that you’d like some help with, post a link to it in comments along with your thoughts on it — what you think is working, what you’re struggling with, etc. I will post my critique of the piece, hopefully giving some tips on how to improve it.

Of course everyone is welcome to post their critiques as well, keeping in mind the following rules:

  • Make sure your criticism is constructive. Just saying “This sucks” is both rude and unhelpful without giving specific reasons why you think it sucks and, ideally, some advice on how to make it better.
  • Each person should only post one illustration for critique to make sure everyone who wants feedback has a chance.
  • I will not critique characters entered in any currently running contest, as that doesn’t seem fair to the other entrants. You can still post it if you like for the other visitors to critique, but I will not do so.

That’s it! Hopefully we can get some good interaction going here and help everyone (me included!) learn a little bit today.

(Image ©2011, Inkygirl.com.)

90 Responses to Open Critique Day 33

  1. I Guess I’ll Start this party off by asking for some feedback on my Recent redesign of my Character named Blaster:

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/kaldath/Blaster-HM3.PNG

  2. Kaldath:
    I Guess I’ll Start this party off by asking for some feedback on my Recent redesign of my Character named Blaster:

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/kaldath/Blaster-HM3.PNG

    Morning, Kaldath!

    As always, it’s a really good illustration. I actually like the nested circular elements, I think it makes an interesting dynamic. Although all the colors are in the warm red/orange range, that ends up looking pretty nifty.

    My concerns are that the middle energy bolt covers so much of the character, it’s hard to get a sense for what he is. I don’t know if that means you should try making alternating bands of the blast transparent or what, but he’s really hard to see.

  3. The last few days i try to make manga face’s in HM3. I want to ask critique for what i need to repair.

    I finish this maybe an hour ago, but i think this is my best attempt.

    Leonheart.

    Body
    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82332&d=1329480700

    Face close up.
    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82333&d=1329480719

    And these for the community

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82318&d=1329333977

    And my little presence for all.

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82108&d=1328308753

  4. nice, tarkabarka.
    i wont be able to participate over the weekend, but her is something to critique. first, tell me how you like them as a set, then critique whichever needs more work.
    http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/bobbymaxim.png/302570286/690×520/bobbymaxim.png
    http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/bobbyfelix.png/302570406/694×525/bobbyfelix.png
    their logo
    http://frmartworks.wikispaces.com/file/view/GoldCross.png/302585912/695×525/GoldCross.png

  5. COMMON WORD MIXUP:
    1)elfish–He had an elfish face.
    2)Elvish–He spoke in Elvish.
    3)Elven–He had an Elven sword.

  6. FRM: Since they’re sort of made up words, I don’t think you can necessarily say “This is how they must be”. It’s not like regular grammar on the use of “their” and “they’re”; it’s fantasy.

    Also, I need to know which one you want me to critique if you would like me to chime in. Having to go through all of them doesn’t save me any time or energy. Thanks!

  7. Jeff Hebert:
    FRM: Since they’re sort of made up words, I don’t think you can necessarily say “This is how they must be”. It’s not like regular grammar on the use of “their” and “they’re”; it’s fantasy.

    Also, I need to know which one you want me to critique if you would like me to chime in. Having to go through all of them doesn’t save me any time or energy. Thanks!

    well, then, the second one, Leiutenant Felix.

  8. http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82252&d=1328967592

    This was my first picture where I actually spent most of the time doing the highlights. My other stuff with highlight’s just been a quick once-over kind of deal. It’s a cyclops of sorts, inspired by a picture I saw ages ago.

  9. Anything you can think that could be improved on this one? I think the shading is a bit crap (I’m still learning), but anything else?

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81339&d=1324206955

  10. Albannach:
    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82252&d=1328967592

    This was my first picture where I actually spent most of the time doing the highlights. My other stuff with highlight’s just been a quick once-over kind of deal. It’s a cyclops of sorts, inspired by a picture I saw ages ago.

    nice! i think more defined shine on the head would make it pop more, but even that’s not necessary for it to be awesome.

    Dionne Jinn:
    Anything you can think that could be improved on this one? I think the shading is a bit crap (I’m still learning), but anything else?

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81339&d=1324206955

    i like it! he looks desperate! (is that the guy from the gazebo?) i’m not sure how to improve it, but maybe an animal in the background?

  11. Tarkabarka: The last few days i try to make manga face’s in HM3. I want to ask critique for what i need to repair.

    I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a Manga style artist, so take this for what it’s worth.

    First of all, as just an overall illustration it’s very good. I like the composition, the colors, and the pose. I think you could make it even better with some more attention to the water and the rock on the left, to make them appear more solid, but as-is it’s a satisfying drawing.

    In terms of making it look “Manga”, I agree that this is the best of the recent series you’ve been doing. Something about the eyes still seems not quite right for the style, but I don’t know enough about it to say exactly what.

  12. FRM: well, then, the second one, Leiutenant Felix.

    I like the logo behind him and the composition. It doesn’t look boring, which is a risk with these kinds of card display pieces. I like the clever creation of the top-down gun view, that really helps sell the illusion.

    My main problem is the combination of the tight body suit and the tall hat. They don’t seem to go together. I mean, either one alone is fine but combined, it seems off. Like, why would he be so practical and sleek everywhere but his head, where there’s this hugely impractical tall hat? I think maybe a tunic bottom would help with that, maybe with a belt as well. It’s the crotch area, frankly, that’s bugging me the most when I see the hat. He’s got those ribbed shirt bindings as well, but then it seems to go right into that nuthugger onesie … I don’t know, I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a leotard or body armor or a uniform or what.

  13. FRM:i like it! he looks desperate! (is that the guy from the gazebo?) i’m not sure how to improve it, but maybe an animal in the background?

    Yes. It is Sandokan, for a change… And I’m happy I got the desperation and pain from his wounds across in the picture, as he is in rather desperate situation. At some point I need to put all the pics I have of him in right order. The gazebo scene happens after this one, actually.

  14. I’m having a blast at updating old archive characters and wanted to get some critique on this guy.

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82288&d=1329152590

    I imagine him a brick-type goon for hire, more on the villian side of the road.

    Fire away! Cheers!

  15. FRM: how’s this for balancing the hat, and cutting the leotard?

    I do think that’s better than it was, yes.

  16. ams:
    I’m having a blast at updating old archive characters and wanted to get some critique on this guy.

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82288&d=1329152590

    I imagine him a brick-type goon for hire, more on the villian side of the road.

    Fire away!Cheers!

    sweet! he has a sort of juggernaut feel. i like how you did a black suit with red gradients to make the suit look red, and how he’s not completely covered. if he were he would look like a robot. the only thing that might need a change is perhaps his face should be more visible, because his mask looks a bit robot-y (though this fix is not imperative).

  17. Albannach: This was my first picture where I actually spent most of the time doing the highlights. My other stuff with highlight’s just been a quick once-over kind of deal. It’s a cyclops of sorts, inspired by a picture I saw ages ago.

    I love the mix of old-time fantasy with the more modern sci-fi helmet. That looks great. And I love the costume and coloring. The way you put the belt sash up high sells the idea of a big, wide, beefy creature perfectly. I don’t think I’ve seen that skirt effect before either, that looks fantastic.

    My only two minor reservations are the spear haft and the boots. The spear needs some kind of variation in it so it’s not just a solid bar of the same color. If it’s supposed to be a light shaft or something then that needs to be made clearer.

    The boots have a similar problem in that I think they need some kind of line color different from what’s inside, to give them definition.

    Otherwise, I really love the piece, you did a great job with it.

  18. Dionne Jinn: Anything you can think that could be improved on this one? I think the shading is a bit crap (I’m still learning), but anything else?

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81339&d=1324206955

    I don’t think the shading’s crap at all, it’s actually pretty nice!

    The real scene stealer, though, is (appropriately enough) the scene itself. Wonderful background and environment, rich in color and texture without being overwhelming. The silhouetted birds are a perfect little touch, too.

    The figure is good too, though I think his right arm is twisted too far to look natural. It’s almost as if it’s been broken, but since he’s using it, probably not. From that angle the bicep would be in front of/tapering into the forearm and you’d be seeing the underside of the forearm. If you’re trying to convey that he’s reaching cross-body to pull the branch aside, it doesn’t quite work anatomically given the parts you have to choose from. Not your fault really, the program just doesn’t have those bits in it.

    Taking a step back and looking at the overall composition, I think the figure is too marginalized. He occupies the left half of the illustration but because he’s facing away from the center and the relatively straight line his back makes, the picture ends up divided against itself. I don’t know how to fix it easily, but I’d want some part of his body or outfit to extend out into the other half of the picture, maybe a leg or something, to help tie the two halves together.

    But, a lovely image that I like very much!

  19. ams: I imagine him a brick-type goon for hire, more on the villian side of the road.

    Fire away! Cheers!

    Spot on! You’ve really nailed this style of 3/4 view, wide-stance characters with the neat coloring. I actually really like that his stomach is bare while he’s sporting all this massive metal, that’s a neat contrast.

    I don’t have anything to recommend for changes, I think it’s pretty freaking awesome.

  20. http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/038/b/1/greenbot_by_malfar-d4p10h5.jpg

    Actually, I know it’s not perfect. It’s more of a challenge for you all “who finds more flaws”.

  21. OK, gotta go to work now. We have a short day so this afternoon I should have time to catch up.

  22. Thanks Jeff. Yes the inner eyes are not correct i remade it. I make a little bit rocky the cliff wall and give an elevator train upper the water. I hope looks better.

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82334&d=1329492455

  23. http://cs9866.vk.com/u19824168/98762848/x_d5206743.jpg

    I do not remember, perhaps, have laid out this picture. Even so – comment on it again.
    Baba Yaga, the famous Russian witch in the hut on chicken legs, surrounded by a palisade with human skulls.

  24. Rozenstal:
    http://cs9866.vk.com/u19824168/98762848/x_d5206743.jpg

    I do not remember, perhaps, have laid out this picture. Even so – comment on it again.
    Baba Yaga, the famous Russian witch in the hut on chicken legs, surrounded by a palisade with human skulls.

    Impressive! I like the way you used lightsaber blades to make the logs.

  25. Rozenstal:
    http://cs9866.vk.com/u19824168/98762848/x_d5206743.jpg

    I do not remember, perhaps, have laid out this picture. Even so – comment on it again.
    Baba Yaga, the famous Russian witch in the hut on chicken legs, surrounded by a palisade with human skulls.

    awesome, but the hand seems a bit detached from the arm, though i cant say how to fix it.

  26. Malfar: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/038/b/1/greenbot_by_malfar-d4p10h5.jpgActually, I know it’s not perfect. It’s more of a challenge for you all “who finds more flaws”.

    It must take ages to load up, with all those patterns! I think he’s pretty cool, none of the problems are very major. OK, you asked for it…flaws! (and my suggestions for fixes):

    1. The background is off-centre to the character. Either move it left or the figure right.

    2. His right (our left) elbow looks odd because it’s the only bit with shading. If I were you I’d make it solid colour. You also might want to put the pattern from the chest on there as well, to make it fit better.

    3. The gradient pattern on the background doesn’t quite go up to the top. Enlarge the rectangle(s) slightly.

    4. The blue line around the diamond looks out of place. Try getting rid of it or making it black like all the other lines.

    That’s it…I can’t say any more without knowing what sort of character he is, what he’s meant to be, etc. Then I could talk about impressions, item choices, that sort of thing. Hope you find my critique helpful! :)

  27. alphaalpharomeo: http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae99/dhabirunner/Cosmic2.png

    Hey, cool picture! Like the face, LOVE the concept. :D My only little niggle is that the planet (is it a planet?) in the centre looks squished. :(

  28. I suppose I’d better post one now…ummm…
    http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h464/Kaylin88100/Angel1.png
    Here you go! An angel I made recently. If she looks familiar that’s because she’s quite similar to one of my entries in the Virgo contest last year, Angel of Justice. But she’s not the same, honest! I made her completely from scratch.

  29. Kaylin88100: It must take ages to load up, with all those patterns! I think he’s pretty cool, none of the problems are very major. OK, you asked for it…flaws! (and my suggestions for fixes):

    1. The background is off-centre to the character. Either move it left or the figure right.

    2. His right (our left) elbow looks odd because it’s the only bit with shading. If I were you I’d make it solid colour. You also might want to put the pattern from the chest on there as well, to make it fit better.

    3. The gradient pattern on the background doesn’t quite go up to the top. Enlarge the rectangle(s) slightly.

    4. The blue line around the diamond looks out of place. Try getting rid of it or making it black like all the other lines.

    That’s it…I can’t say any more without knowing what sort of character he is, what he’s meant to be, etc. Then I could talk about impressions, item choices, that sort of thing. Hope you find my critique helpful!

    Thanks! Well, this character isn’t something I really tried. I just played with items. Like “Oh, I wanna create someone with this HUUUGE pauldrond And new boots AND fantasy helmet AND paintball mask, but I am too lazy to do just anything aside of it”.

  30. My OC, Aurromon. It’s a commissioned piece. He was once a Mongol warrior and Genghis Khan’s magical advisor. He is immortal essentially because he is able to jump from body to body and reshape it to a form he prefers. He has, with time, forgotten his full name and is simply known as Aurromon.

    http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/048/f/9/aurromon_by_heinz57xc-d4q0v1s.png

  31. This is one I did, well, just ’cause. He’s an older (sort of alternate reality) version of my ninja werewolf rp character: http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/Tuldabar/Heros/ImmortalitysHell.png

    I was trying to emphasize how immortality isn’t such a good thing. What my character is experiencing here is a sort of “psychological aging,” with all his years and most of his injuries coming back to haunt him (while his species normally heals as well if not as fast as Wolverine).

    Basically, he’s been through hell several times over. I think the eye scar could be more convicing, and I know colors aren’t my strongest asset.

    Any thoughts?

  32. McKnight57: My OC, Aurromon. It’s a commissioned piece. He was once a Mongol warrior and Genghis Khan’s magical advisor. He is immortal essentially because he is able to jump from body to body and reshape it to a form he prefers. He has, with time, forgotten his full name and is simply known as Aurromon.http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/048/f/9/aurromon_by_heinz57xc-d4q0v1s.png

    Wow, that’s cool :o He looks great! :D

  33. Malfar: Actually, I know it’s not perfect. It’s more of a challenge for you all “who finds more flaws”.

    I don’t know if I’m up for a test today. So I’ll just approach it as a regular illustration and say that while I like the general design and layout, his arms strike me as too small for the rest of him, so they end up looking a bit T-Rex-ish. And I’d like to see more color variation in the figure — it’s just those two greens mostly, and with the pattern overlay it really flattens out.

    I like the diamond backgrounds, though, they set it off nicely with the blue and orange against the green. And I like the figure itself, just not the arms and the circuit pattern throughout.

  34. Tarkabarka: Thanks Jeff. Yes the inner eyes are not correct i remade it. I make a little bit rocky the cliff wall and give an elevator train upper the water. I hope looks better.

    LOVE it! Fantastic changes, it really pops now. Well done!

  35. Rozenstal: http://cs9866.vk.com/u19824168/98762848/x_d5206743.jpg

    I do not remember, perhaps, have laid out this picture. Even so – comment on it again.
    Baba Yaga, the famous Russian witch in the hut on chicken legs, surrounded by a palisade with human skulls.

    I love the witch and the chicken legs and the overall composition. It’s a lot of fun and you’ve done a great job with it. I like the carvings on the hut as well, that’s a nice touch.

    Unlike some of the other folks here (which is totally fine), I am not a huge fan of the light sabres as logs. They’re too “shiny” to come off as wood, at least for me. I wonder if maybe masking on some dirt or cracks or some sort of texture would help with that. Otherwise I know there aren’t a lot of options for that sort of thing, so if this is where you end up with it, that’s fine — it doesn’t look awful or anything.

    So yes, overall a really nice illustration, thank you!

  36. alphaalpharomeo: http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae99/dhabirunner/Cosmic2.png

    So, my main concern with this one is that I can’t really tell what you intend. Is this a fiend coming out of some sort of space void? Is the smoke his body and the arms and head material protrusions from it? Is that a blue planet in the middle, and if so what does that mean for the scale of the figure?

    In other words, I don’t get the story that you’re telling here, and would need some more clues in the design about what information I’m supposed to be pulling from it. Without knowing the intent, I can’t say much more than that, unfortunately.

  37. Kaylin88100: I suppose I’d better post one now…ummm…
    http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h464/Kaylin88100/Angel1.png
    Here you go! An angel I made recently. If she looks familiar that’s because she’s quite similar to one of my entries in the Virgo contest last year, Angel of Justice. But she’s not the same, honest! I made her completely from scratch.

    Oh, she’s lovely! Great use of colors, glows, and transparency to get a very ethereal look. I love the use of the belt as a headpiece, it works perfect there. The face is also very good.

    My only niggle is with the dress portion, in that it almost looks like the fabric is all on the front, without wrapping around to hide her bum. Like if you saw her from behind you’d see her behind (except for the cape), if you see what I mean.

    But a really nice illustration, great job!

  38. McKnight57: My OC, Aurromon. It’s a commissioned piece. He was once a Mongol warrior and Genghis Khan’s magical advisor. He is immortal essentially because he is able to jump from body to body and reshape it to a form he prefers. He has, with time, forgotten his full name and is simply known as Aurromon.

    Wow, that’s a wonderful illustration! Great effects, colors, and character design, all executed very well. I would definitely say you got your money’s worth!

  39. Tuldabar: I was trying to emphasize how immortality isn’t such a good thing. What my character is experiencing here is a sort of “psychological aging,” with all his years and most of his injuries coming back to haunt him (while his species normally heals as well if not as fast as Wolverine).

    Basically, he’s been through hell several times over. I think the eye scar could be more convicing, and I know colors aren’t my strongest asset.

    Any thoughts?

    First, I like the illustration just as a standalone piece. Nice colors, layout, and character concept.

    I like his head as well, it has a distinctive look as if this were a real person.

    I wouldn’t say, though, that I get the “crushing burden of age” feeling from it that you describe in the write-up. He looks a little tired, maybe, but not really worse for wear. I wonder if maybe a less active pose, like he’s leaning on his staff maybe, would help sell the concept more …

  40. Jeff Hebert: Oh, she’s lovely! Great use of colors, glows, and transparency to get a very ethereal look. I love the use of the belt as a headpiece, it works perfect there. The face is also very good.My only niggle is with the dress portion, in that it almost looks like the fabric is all on the front, without wrapping around to hide her bum. Like if you saw her from behind you’d see her behind (except for the cape), if you see what I mean.But a really nice illustration, great job!

    Yeah, I see what you mean…is this any better?
    http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h464/Kaylin88100/Angel1a.png

  41. The question is: do you think that he works as a villain or is it too far out there? Also, does the costume work for a comic?

  42. McKnight57:
    The question is: do you think that he works as a villain or is it too far out there? Also, does the costume work for a comic?

    I’m definitely seeing Mongol warrior in it, and it looks like it could be a comic book-style outfit. As for if he looks villainous, I could go either way on that one.

  43. Captain Kicktar
  44. The Atomic Punk

    Going to be out all night, but wanted to get this one in: “Foosball.”

    I created this for Character Contest 77: Sporty! That’s when I discovered that Cox Communications had unceremoniously dumped their Personal WebSpace service.

    My “goal” was to work the most with off-screen, wide-shot elements. Get a better feel for the grid (canvas). I tried for a more 3-D “box” or “looking down the hall” effect, but could not dimension floor to the walls. So I gave up and went with a flat black.

    The text File is on my hard drive at home. I’ll post it tomorrow.

    http://freethespam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/atomicpunk-foosball.png

  45. Another hand-drawn picture. My idea was a teenage hero with a costume composed of an undersuit in one colour, and armoured portions in another. I want to put in chest armour, but I have absolutely no idea what it should look like and how to fit it in (I did some quick scribbles and the costume looks bland without anything on the torso.)I’m also wondering about the mask design- where the panel on the side runs down to the shoulderpad.
    (The hair’s just been drawn in lightly, by the way. It’s mostly just there to give me an idea of where it goes and what it covers, at the moment. I wanted to concentrate more on the actual costume).

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82338&d=1329515450

  46. I was thinking of you when I made this, you know who you are LOL JK Heres a random piece I made to make a point about something a while back, hope you laugh

    http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/My%20Characters/TOOL-GasMan.png

  47. TOOL:
    I was thinking of you when I made this, you know who you are LOL JK Heres a random piece I made to make a point about something a while back, hope you laugh

    http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/My%20Characters/TOOL-GasMan.png

    Ewwww…. Disgustingly brilliant… Made me laugh out loud.

  48. Myro: From the Pride contest, I tried to do a representation of Narcissus.

    I thought this was a neat idea, and that you did a good job with it. The reflection in the pool is particularly effective and convincing.

    My main reservations about it involved the body pose, mostly. His left leg, the one that’s up, doesn’t look right at all in terms of where it joins the body. Not your fault, really, there’s just not much in the program that matches those folds.

    Similarly, the hand on the knee isn’t drawn right to be in that pose. The thumb would be pointing forward, not coming around like it’s drawn. Not your fault, that’s how it’s drawn, but it isn’t the way it ought to be.

    But other than the things you really have no control over, it looks great!

  49. Kaylin88100: Yeah, I see what you mean…is this any better?
    http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h464/Kaylin88100/Angel1a.png

    I think that looks better, yeah.

  50. McKnight57: The question is: do you think that he works as a villain or is it too far out there? Also, does the costume work for a comic?

    Sure, I could see him as a villain, and the costume can work for a comic. But I think pretty much anything can work as a villain or hero in a comic … It depends not as much on the design of the character but on how the actual comic is drawn and written.

  51. Here is one I’d like critiqued. Something about him bothered me and any advice is appreciated.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/vampyrist/Malphas.png

  52. meniukas: http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=80057&d=1314824429

    Neat idea! I like the figure and the concept. The sky background with the cityscape silhouetted are great; I wish that went all the way across instead of getting cut off by that big black building. And the figure tends to fade into that building, making that part harder to make out.

    But other than that, really nice!

  53. Captain Kicktar: http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/ShiMajikku2.png
    Shi Majikku, counterpart to Dianzi Moshu.

    I like this one! I like the way the pants fade from black to dark maroon, the glowing runes, the cowl, and the nifty pattern on the gloves. Great job!

  54. The Atomic Punk: I created this for Character Contest 77: Sporty! That’s when I discovered that Cox Communications had unceremoniously dumped their Personal WebSpace service.

    My “goal” was to work the most with off-screen, wide-shot elements. Get a better feel for the grid (canvas). I tried for a more 3-D “box” or “looking down the hall” effect, but could not dimension floor to the walls. So I gave up and went with a flat black.

    The text File is on my hard drive at home. I’ll post it tomorrow.

    http://freethespam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/atomicpunk-foosball.png

    I can’t get to that page, Atomic Punk — I get a 403 Access Denied error :-(

  55. Trekkie: Another hand-drawn picture. My idea was a teenage hero with a costume composed of an undersuit in one colour, and armoured portions in another. I want to put in chest armour, but I have absolutely no idea what it should look like and how to fit it in (I did some quick scribbles and the costume looks bland without anything on the torso.)I’m also wondering about the mask design- where the panel on the side runs down to the shoulderpad.
    (The hair’s just been drawn in lightly, by the way. It’s mostly just there to give me an idea of where it goes and what it covers, at the moment. I wanted to concentrate more on the actual costume).

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82338&d=1329515450

    First of all, nice pencil work and draftsmanship. The proportions are good and the figure is solid, so good job.

    In terms of the costume, I would think if you’re going for a “Kick Ass” style thing, where the kid makes the costume from materials he or she could readily get to, then they’d have something like a police flak jacket, or a bulletproof vest, or even the kind of impact rib protection a football quarterback uses.

    I’m all for minimalist, only the essentials sorts of outfits, but the big risk there is that you go TOO plain and the costume lacks visual interest. I think you need some piping or zippers or a belt or something like that to break up the plain unitard some and to give the user something on which to focus.

  56. TOOL: I was thinking of you when I made this, you know who you are LOL JK Heres a random piece I made to make a point about something a while back, hope you laugh

    http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/My%20Characters/TOOL-GasMan.png

    ::shakes head:: Oh my.

  57. Vampyrist: Here is one I’d like critiqued. Something about him bothered me and any advice is appreciated.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/vampyrist/Malphas.png

    Nice! Very brooding and menacing.

    I think maybe what’s bugging you is that it might be a little too much on the plain side. You get interested in the eyes, but everything else is sort of subdued and in the same palette. Maybe something little, like a belt buckle, or a cane you see some of, or … I dunno, just something to break up the big dark middle. I mean, you don’t want a Snoopy t-shirt or anything, it doesn’t need to be major, just a little something.

    But I think it’s pretty darn good as it is, and even if you don’t change anything it would still be cool.

  58. TOOL:
    I was thinking of you when I made this, you know who you are LOL JK Heres a random piece I made to make a point about something a while back, hope you laugh

    http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee363/cameron_stanley_84/My%20Characters/TOOL-GasMan.png

    Dude, that is messed up. Hilarious, but still messed up. Don’t change a thing on it, Tool.

  59. Jeff Hebert: I can’t get to that page, Atomic Punk — I get a 403 Access Denied error

    Oh good, it’s not just me.

  60. Jeff Hebert: I thought this was a neat idea, and that you did a good job with it. The reflection in the pool is particularly effective and convincing.

    My main reservations about it involved the body pose, mostly. His left leg, the one that’s up, doesn’t look right at all in terms of where it joins the body. Not your fault, really, there’s just not much in the program that matches those folds.

    Similarly, the hand on the knee isn’t drawn right to be in that pose. The thumb would be pointing forward, not coming around like it’s drawn. Not your fault, that’s how it’s drawn, but it isn’t the way it ought to be.

    But other than the things you really have no control over, it looks great!

    Thanks, Jeff. I was so concerned about the hand I had to build that he’s holding up to his chin, I didn’t really pay attention to the other hand.

  61. Jeff Hebert: ::shakes head:: Oh my.

    Is it wrong that I picture Jeff saying this in the manner of George “Mr. Sulu” Takei?

    Also, I haven’t tried to submit more than one picture on OCD, but I wouldn’t mind some community feedback on Griffen Morris here.

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82207&d=1328622750

  62. All righty, this’ll end my participation in this edition of OCD. Thanks everyone!

  63. Myro: Is it wrong that I picture Jeff saying this in the mannerof George “Mr. Sulu” Takei?

    Also, I haven’t triedto submit more than one picture on OCD, but I wouldn’t mind some community feedback on Griffen Morris here.

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82207&d=1328622750

    The character concept is strong and the coloring is great. It’s the coat that spoils it for me. You need to play around to get the overcoat flowing a bit. Make it so it fits and gives him some of his body shape back. If you need some help, PM in the old forum and we can work some details out. Cheers!

  64. THE GREEN RANGER

    Everyone knows that a certain masked vigilante of the Wild West was the Great-Uncle of a certain masked vigilante of the late 1930’s, but in-between was the Green Ranger, nephew of the first and father of the second, who operated during the Prohibition Era. Having inherited the wealth of his Uncle’s silver mine, which had been invested in the railroads, he grew up despising the Yellow Journalism of the day that manipulated the truth, which led him to start a newspaper of his own after he retired. A veteran of the Great War, where he had become a flying ace, he took the moniker of the Green Ranger to fight bootleggers, gangsters and mobsters. Riding in a heavily modified armored car he called the “Silver Beauty” and ably assisted by his African-Canadian partner and mechanic Toronto, he operated out of a private railcar that held their home, armaments, workshops and vehicles. He began his career from the moment Prohibition began and ended it when Prohibition was repealed, starting in 1920 and ending in 1933. In those years, he was a secret ally of both J. Edgar Hoover of the BOI and Elliot Ness and his Untouchables in the never-ending fight against the illegal profiteering of alcohol.

    http://i1018.photobucket.com/albums/af309/skybandit/GreenRanger.jpg

    Toronto is an African-Canadian descendant of slaves who had escaped to Canada during the Civil War via the Underground Railroad. He was sent to Britain for his education, and is both noble in bearing and erudite of speech. He does not relate to African Americans very well, but is capable of mimicking their mannerisms and poor English when necessary. His expertise with gadgetry stands them both in good stead, and he prefers his sword cane to firearms.

  65. Glad you peeps liked my Gas Man, he has a strong effect on his enemies, one may even say potent ( pinkey to corner of mouth ) LOL Yeah I dont know what came over me, you can just shuffle that one in with my rainbow warrior and uncle sammy haggar type stuff.

  66. @McKnight: Awesome! I thought that he WAS a villian when I saw him. He looks like he’d fit well in a comic book.

  67. Mysterious Zed

    I guess he’s like Aquaman…… except he’s a fish. I’m not sure if the shading or whatever you call it is good or not. Let me know what you think.
    http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h471/MysteriousZed22/Cascade.png

  68. I think the neck is a little too thick, besides that Jeff said everything else.

    Dionne Jinn:
    Anything you can think that could be improved on this one? I think the shading is a bit crap (I’m still learning), but anything else?

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81339&d=1324206955

  69. ams: The character concept is strong and the coloring is great.It’s the coat that spoils it for me.You need to play around to get the overcoat flowing a bit.Make it so it fits and gives him some of his body shape back.If you need some help, PM in the old forum and we can work some details out.Cheers!

    Thanks buddy. I think I see where you’re coming from, and I’m going to take a crack at it first, but it’s reassuring to know you can be there for the assist if I need it.

  70. I just wanted to put this together and show it off, please feel free to give me feedback on it.

    http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx70/celticdragon79/medic.jpg

  71. Another OCD missed because of school.

    I made this character a while ago and am thinking of entering it in a future contest should the prompt arrive. Any thoughts? Improvements, maybe?
    Patty Wench: http://i.imgur.com/FGsuP.jpg

  72. I’m a little late to the party but here goes…

    Roller Skate (Skybandit’s Random Finalist Consolation Prize)

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82340&d=1329558436

    This one posed a challenge in regards to color. To create the most versatile options I think I will submit the shoe part as a separate item with strings as Color 2 and make the roller skate on the right (with wheels as Color 2) the default skate. In addition I want to make a ice skate by simply switching out the wheels with a blade. So in the end there will be three items: Shoe without bottom (strings as Color 2), full roller skate (wheels as Color 2), and full ice skate (blade as Color 2).

    What do you think?

  73. dblade:
    I’m a little late to the party but here goes…

    Roller Skate (Skybandit’s Random Finalist Consolation Prize)

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82340&d=1329558436

    This one posed a challenge in regards to color. To create the most versatile options I think I will submit the shoe part as a separate item with strings as Color 2 and make the roller skate on the right (with wheels as Color 2) the default skate. In addition I want to make a ice skate by simply switching out the wheels with a blade. So in the end there will be three items: Shoe without bottom (strings as Color 2), full roller skate (wheels as Color 2), and full ice skate (blade as Color 2).

    What do you think?

    Dude, YES! That is awesome.

  74. @TJ: You forgot the ears ;)
    Otherwise, I’m not skilled enough to provide any useful comment, as I find it just fine :)

  75. Mumble… have all my pictures on WordPress been 403? I posted from work, got home, and my laptop also says “403.” Ugh!

    This link work for anyone? Thanks:

    http://freethespam.wordpress.com/?attachment_id=20

  76. @Atomic Punk: Nope, sorry :(

  77. The Atomic Punk:
    Mumble… have all my pictures on WordPress been 403? I posted from work, got home, and my laptop also says “403.” Ugh!

    This link work for anyone?Thanks:

    http://freethespam.wordpress.com/?attachment_id=20

    Not exactly. Now it’s saying that I have to request access from you to view material on your WordPress account. See if you can make your material public.

    By-the-by, if you get a request from “Myrowire” that’s me.

  78. I squeezed three items out of Skybandit’s prize…

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82348&d=1329599950

    I now have roller skates, ice skates, and “skate shoes”. The skate shoes have the shoestrings as Color 2. You can combine the skate shoes with the roller skates and ice skates to create more versatile color schemes or you can use them as is.

  79. Arioch, Myro: Thanks for checking.

    Okay, I edited my WordPress Privacy settings. Seems to be working now. But then, I thought I had it right the first time…

    http://freethespam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/atomicpunk-foosball.png

  80. The Atomic Punk:
    Arioch, Myro: Thanks for checking.

    Okay, I edited my WordPress Privacy settings.Seems to be working now.But then, I thought I had it right the first time…

    http://freethespam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/atomicpunk-foosball.png

    Okay, that’s better.

    Very creative. I would never have thought of using different characters for each of the men on a foosball table, much less fantasy monsters and the like.
    My one criticism is that it’s a lot to take in. I definitely see the foosball aspect, but it seems pretty busy, and I don’t know how you could fix that while still keeping the foosball look.

  81. Tuldabar: This is one I did, well, just ’cause. He’s an older (sort of alternate reality) version of my ninja werewolf rp character: http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/Tuldabar/Heros/ImmortalitysHell.pngI was trying to emphasize how immortality isn’t such a good thing. What my character is experiencing here is a sort of “psychological aging,” with all his years and most of his injuries coming back to haunt him (while his species normally heals as well if not as fast as Wolverine).Basically, he’s been through hell several times over. I think the eye scar could be more convicing, and I know colors aren’t my strongest asset.Any thoughts?

    Firstly, I’d make the cityscape background smaller and knock down the alpha so that it looks like it’s in the distance. Secondly, I’d make the city lights bigger so that they’re stretching into the clouds and maybe even add underlighting so that they look like light is reflecting off them.

  82. The Atomic Punk: Arioch, Myro: Thanks for checking.Okay, I edited my WordPress Privacy settings. Seems to be working now. But then, I thought I had it right the first time…http://freethespam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/atomicpunk-foosball.png

    Nice! Definitely worth the wait! :D Really cool concept, but like Myro said, it does seem a little busy. Maybe get rid of the goal in the background or make it a little less overwhelming?

  83. dblade:
    I squeezed three items out of Skybandit’s prize…

    http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=82348&d=1329599950

    I now have roller skates, ice skates, and “skate shoes”. The skate shoes have the shoestrings as Color 2. You can combine the skate shoes with the roller skates and ice skates to create more versatile color schemes or you can use them as is.

    Ooo! Proper ice skates. I like!

  84. Kaylin88100, Myro: Thanks for the feedback. It is a really busy design. I was thinking of breaking down the individual men for clarity. Also, adding the opposing team of good guys. But it was lot of work.

    I learned alot about manipulating and placing objects “off-screen”. Which was the purpose of the experiment. The bigger take-away is that I had not set up WordPress properly! Hopefully that is fixed once and for all (or at least until the next setback).

    Ok, enough about me.

    Albannach: Cyclops

    He reminds me a lot of the cyclops featured in Krull. I really like the highlights and overall design. His sash is lined flat against his ribs. Maybe widen it a little. The spear is a little plain. A collar or hilt where the blade attaches to the staff would pop. Ears… well, unless your version of the cyclops does not have ears. Maybe his head is purely cybernetic not a mask?