Shopping Day, Apocalypse Style

Let’s review what we know about our Freeway Warrior thus far: while he shoots like Bullseye he drives like Miss Daisy. Which possibly renders our next adventure understandable, because when last we left him, we had decided to investigate a local air base.

Some days you have fifteen screens of narrative before you have to decide anything important, and some days you get … this. A decision on where we’d like to shop. I envision an entire misguided “Girl’s Adventure” series, where middle-aged men write stuff they think girls would want, with decision trees like “Which dollie would you buy” or “Which store should we shop at next” or even something really stupid like “Edward or Jacob”.

Meanwhile the actual girls (at least, the awesome geeky kind like those who hang out here) reading it would be hunting down the nearest tub of bleach so they could wipe out the nonsense on the pages and write their own damn fiction already.

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 45 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

13 Responses to Shopping Day, Apocalypse Style

  1. Let’s do the shops, hopefully we can check out the tower later. Actually it doesn’t really matter b/c we are just going to have to ditch something out of our inventory either way. I’m just hoping to find some ammo.

  2. Considering our entire reason last week for choosing to go to the base was because it might have supplies, I voted we check out the stores. Also I really don’t want to go near anything involving flight after voting to get rid of our altimeter…

  3. The stores are the better bet to get supplies, control towers do not have much if anything in the way that might be of use other than computers, maybe some binoculars and possibly a snacko, but the food wouldn’t be good anymore.

  4. I say tower first. We might be able to see some other cool stuff from there AND definitely will get some advanced warning when the marauders come for us. ;)

  5. That’s a good point, Worf. Plus, the stores should logically have been sacked by now–maybe that’s where the gang on the nearby bridge got enough ammo to use withering fire instead of aimed shots?–but maybe the control tower will have been overlooked.

    (Also, reread the last sections and am now wondering what sort of apocalypse we suffered, that left Dallas a crater but not radioactive enough to worry about, and also petrified the trees. I mean, nukes don’t do that. No weapon does. So my theory is that somebody air-dropped para-basilisks, and we had to bomb ourselves to get rid of them before they could turn everything to stone.

    …okay, so the theory has a few holes.)

  6. X-stacy:
    Plus, the stores should logically have been sacked by now

    Haven’t you figured out by now that logic has nothing to do with this adventure? ;)

  7. The tower–a communication radio that probably doesn’t work, other electronic equipment that’s too heavy and big for our knapsack and spilled over coffe cups.

    I vote for the stores. There could be Twinkies(which as we all know would be just as fresh as the day they were made.), as well as knick-nacks and what-not that could be of some use.

  8. While Worf brings a good point, I’m still saying we check the shops first. Maybe we can find something useful to help us fend off the marauding horde.
    Also, why are we packing meals? We’ve never been told once this entire adventure that we need to eat. As Dan said, logic apparently has no basis in this adventure.

  9. Myro, you know the second we choose to throw out a meal, we’ll need one. The thing that baffles me is that we have a car. Why can’t we store stuff in it, instead of carrying everything around on our backs? At the very least, we should be able to give some of this crap to the rest of the convoy, like the salt.

  10. @Dan: Sure, we can drop the soap, er salt. But somewhere down the road(pun not intended), We’ll have a choice:

    Between you and the convoy is a pack of ravenous, flesh-eating, giant, mutant slugs.

    If you still have the salt, turn to page 72.

    If you don’t have the salt, but you wish to attack the slugs anyway, turn to page 197.

    If you don’t have the salt, and you wish to abandon your friends and fmily, turn to page 32.

  11. Release the giant attack slugs!

  12. Frankie:
    @Dan:Sure, we can drop the soap, er salt.But somewhere down the road(pun not intended), We’ll have a choice:

    Between you and the convoy is a pack of ravenous, flesh-eating, giant, mutant slugs.

    If you still have the salt, turn to page 72.

    If you don’t have the salt, but you wish to attack the slugs anyway, turn to page 197.

    If you don’t have the salt, and you wish to abandon your friends and fmily, turn to page 32.

    Sadly, you’re probably not far off. :)

  13. spidercow2012

    Dan: Haven’t you figured out by now that logic has nothing to do with this adventure?

    I’m with Dan. Logic has no place in this.
    The control tower (which, logically, shouldn’t be standing) has little to recommend it; the stores (which may be an authorial Britishism meaning ‘warehouses’ rather than ‘shops’) are FAR more likely to have something of value in them; we probably can’t check out both – – by all that’s rational, we absolutely should check out the stores. So I voted for the control tower.