Caption Contest 110

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3’s “Say What? Pictures” for the panel, your challenge this week is to come up with the best caption for this comics cover:

This one’s a bit of a different challenge, as normally you would have a word or thought balloon with missing dialog in it. This time you have to come up with a caption, more like you’d see in a “Far Side” cartoon or like I do with my Random Daily Panels.

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author’s choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than ten (10) entries per person, so make ‘em your best. Good luck!

(Image and character ©DC Comics.)

78 Responses to Caption Contest 110

  1. Superman compensates for his recent loss to Teddy Roosevelt in their arm wrestling match.

    I seriously am stuck here, to tired I am guess.

  2. Yeah, this one seems tough … I’m curious what people come up with.

  3. 1. Superman slightly misunderstands the Occupy Movement…
    2. Leaping it in two bounds was just more than he could live with.

  4. 1) Sampson has been reborn!

  5. 2) Judo Chop!

  6. 1. Meanwhile, at the United Nations.

    2. Superman realizes that his student loans are due.

    3. To answer how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop, a tweaked out Superman leaps into action!

    4. Super-diarrhea cannot wait for elevators to reach the executive penthouse bathroom.

    5. Quickly thinking, Superman disperses the angry villagers wielding torches and pitchforks.

    6. Acceptance into Yale’s Skull and Bones means a lot to pledges.

    7. DC Comics announces that Rob Lefield will be the artist for the next “Superman” reboot.

    8. The grand opening of LexCorp’s Xeno-Geology Research Institute.

    9. The Man of Steel works off his gambling debts reminding corporations what happens if they don’t pay for “neighborhood insurance.”

    10. “Don Quixote never took down a windmill. Showed you, Lois!”

  7. Superman doing his taxes at the IRS office.

  8. “Now I know I left my keys here SOMEWHERE!

  9. Why does it have to transform into a building? Wouldn’t it be cooler if it transformed into a bug or something? I mean really, who wants to play with a building anyway?

  10. Nick Hentschel

    “Eventually, even the Man of Steel loses patience with the telemarketers…..”

    “More bad news for the Kryptonite lock factory……”

    “It has recently been revealed that the 1985 reboot of the DCU was in fact caused by a sudden, massive loss of files…..”

  11. Blazing Tornado

    “Let’s see Chuck Norris top this!

    KARATE CHOP!”

  12. headlessgeneral

    “Destroy that building, Superman… OR DIE!!!”

  13. 1) Superman, feeling bored, decides on some random superdickery!

  14. “A bad time to be working at the Department of Kryptonian Birth Certificates.”

  15. 2) After seeing the latest release pictures from his upcoming movie, Superman decides to kill the franchise.

  16. version one
    “And just like that, Lois Lane, her lawyer, and any proof of a pre-nup were destroyed.”

    version two
    “And just like that Lois Lane, her lawyer, and the divorce papers were destroyed.

  17. 1. “Meanwhile, at the Kryptonite factory…”

  18. 1. And with one blow, any records of Superman’s secret “battles” with Lex luther were erased.

    2. In this exciting issue, Superman battles a new foe: MUSHROOMS!

  19. 1) Superman vs Salvia
    2) The Man of Steel vs The plant of …. hehe … duude

  20. 1. Superman discovers that what happens in Vegas doesn’t really stay in Vegas!

  21. 3) It was at that moment Superman realized he had to stop hanging out on Willie Nelson’s party bus.

  22. 4) The first Super Karate Chop goes horribly wrong.
    5) The lost photos of Superman’s audition for “Karate Kid”.
    6) And that was the last time Superman accepted a diagnosis from Dr McCrazypants.

  23. 2. “After his recent defeat by Batman, it was clear there was only one thing Superman could do to save face… Destroy Wayne Enterprises.”

  24. Superman mistakes giant zipper for building!

  25. 1. “The only rational course of action really”

    2. “Superman get’s drafted in to destroy abandoned buildings left behind because of the recession”

    3. “Lexcorp really needed to invest in adamantium walls”

    4. “Superman goes to DC HQ to express his feelings on the New 52″

    5. “Superman decides to express his plan in the most eloquent way possible”

  26. Gabe Puratekuta

    1: “Superman vs. the Earth’s penis”
    2: “In another attempt to prevent Jimmy Olson from being adopted…”
    3: “The building looked at him cross-eyed”
    4: “Because the doors are made of Kryptonite”
    5: “Luthor told him that”
    6: “Superman can’t handle his peyote”
    7: “And thus, his amateur porn videos are never seen again”
    8: “…with a bonus of killing all the people below”
    9: “All because someone in there took his sandwich…”
    10: “Just one task in his quest to be a dick”

  27. Supermans unruly hunger for concrete causes a panic in Metropolis.

  28. 1 Allstate, are you in good hands when mayhem happens to you?

    2 Broken building or squashed pedestrians? Found out next time on the adventures of rocky and bulwinkle!

    3 Superman takes down the Obama-Care tower…country’s cheering’s heard round the world.

    4 Land lady seen me changing, got to get rid of evidence to save secret identity.

    5 Hulk smash, wait am I in the wrong book?

    6 No concrete monster building is going to eat me!

    7 I hope Wonder-Woman is seeing this.

    8 Taking on my new job at the demolition company.

    9 Jeff made me do it, sorry metropolis!

    10 Thats the last time I go sleep flying.

  29. 3. After Superman became a born again Cristian he went on a holy crusade to destroy all phallic imagery. First stop Metropolis then it’s on to Washington DC.

  30. 4. The deed done, Superman looks back and starts to think that maybe that gentlemen in the alley hadn’t sold him powdered sugar…

  31. Supes shows off his Samson Impersonation after exposure to Red Kryptonite!!

  32. 1) He’s got to destroy this building. His life depends on it.

  33. 1. “They said they wouldn’t let me into the glee club until I brought down the house…”

    2. “Don’t they know? I need my red trunks! I can’t just wear some vaguely Superman-themed suit of armor…”

    3. “Only the catharsis of destroying this skyscraper can make me forget the new ‘Hawk and Dove’…!”

    4. “Have to find those cakes Luthor stole…40 of them. That’s as many as four tens…and that’s terrible!”

    5. “Shake hands, building!…wait, no, try again!”

    6. “I’m not flying. I’m falling with style…”

    7. “I’m not really falling with style either.

    8. “Got to find the source of that noxious fart…!”

    9. “I’m going to find that Golden Ticket one way or another!

    10. “Why did I have to have a big order from Taco Bell right before patrol?!”

  34. 1. High on Ex, Superman realized a little too late that he wasn’t attacking the World Trade Center…
    2. After realizing that Lara and Jor-El may have been related, Superman realizes that he must destroy all the evidence…
    3. Who would’ve ever thought that buildings could be split like cantaloupes?
    4. After Jimmy’s tearful confession that he loved him, Superman retaliates by destroying the InterPride building.
    5. After George Bush’s announcement that he would not remove the Afghanistan troops, Superman realized that the government had to go…
    6. After an anonymous tip about Lois and Jimmy, Superman flies to City Hall to confront them…
    7. Repression can be a beautiful thing…
    8. On next week’s issue of Psychology Today: Superman, God Complex or Bipolar Disorder?
    9. Superman realized too late that the specs on the ground were not ants…
    10. Next week on DC Superman: Has the Man of Steel finally cracked?

  35. Sorry #9 was supposed to read: Superman realized too late that the specks on the ground were not ants…

  36. My first five:

    1) The cereal or the magazine?
    2) Unfortunately, Richard Pryor had already left the building.
    3) That’s the building that made him grow two stories tall.
    4) Hi-Keeba! (for the Mysties out there)
    5) First I’ll turn it into two buildings, then four, then…

  37. Star Labs regretted promising to find Superman a cure for kryptonite if he would prevent Samson from tearing down their newest research facilities.

  38. It’s a bird, it’s a place, no its architectural doom from above.

  39. Watson Bradshaw

    1) Lois gets half of everything after the divorce!

    2) It’s splits-ville for you “Velcro Tower”!

    3) Another round of truth or dare ends in catastrophe.

    4) How Superman deals with downsizing.

    5) superhero Jenga claim 200 lives.

  40. Superman doesn’t become unhinged, he unzips.

  41. “will Clark finally escape that horrible rental agreement?”

  42. 1. From that day on, ol’ Supes kept on going with his karate lessons

  43. No matter how many buildings he split, the “20” remained beyond his grasp.

    Pranknet’s most epic win – ever.

    At the bottom of the building, Mikey peacefully ate the cereal his friends put in front of him.

  44. When the dust settled, everyone still thought Superman was a jerk – his life remained destroyed.

  45. My last five entries:

    6) When Clark’s building went condo.
    7) Don’t worry, those are sixteen IMAGINARY stories.
    8) Luthor’s newest Lair.
    9) Superman: Secret Muslim!
    10) Meanwhile, Superman Robot #13 chases the 20 ball.

  46. And with one strike against Blizzard Studios, Superman ended his World of Warcraft addiction.

  47. Bryan Singer’s office destroyed–Film at 11.

  48. Best thing about this picture: the bendy windows.

    Hey, listen, I hate to be a killjoy, and I always say all’s fair in comedy, but re: #44-9) above- Even if Superman were to take up Islam, it would not automatically make him prone to destroying buildings. The stereotype doesn’t deserve perpetuation, and the gag doesn’t need it. Getting off the soapbox now. Let us return to comedy hi-jinks.

  49. And that Timmy, is where the two towers came from.

  50. Superman 1, Black Mold 0

  51. 1.another reason why people shouldn’t listen to Marvin, the Paranoid Android

    2.superman wasn’t very happy with news international’s takeover.

  52. Superman vowed his participation in Al-Qaeda suicide missions would remain symbolic until Lois joined the Houris in Paradise

  53. Superman MUST distroy the DC hedquarters before they distroy his iconic outfit with a bad blue and white leotard!

  54. Superman MUST distroy the DC hedquarters before they distroy his iconic outfit with a bad blue and white leotard!

  55. 10 minutes after clark kent was laid off from the daily planet due to downsizing.

  56. 1. “Fired from the Daily Planet, a destitute Superman is forced to accept some demolition work.”

    2. “Superman provides an unhappy Lois with an unobstructed view of the park.”

  57. The real reason the Kevin Smith/Nicolas Cage Superman movie was never made.

  58. Superman never lets anything have more stories than he has written about him.

  59. What really happened to the Tower of Babel, according to the DC Bible.

  60. Superman’s first encounter with the Kryptonian Man Trap, Krypton’s version of the Venus Flytrap.

  61. “Behold The Horror Of…The Black Mold From Krypton!”
    “Also This Issue…Hawkman Kicks A Puppy!”

  62. Superman’s misinterpretation of his sex-therapist’s instruction to “unzip one Lois Lane – or die” was to have dire consequences for the inhabitants of 1 Lewis Lane.

  63. 1. He lost his glasses.
    (And forgot that is in his suit on a special place.)
    2. He want to make the high score to become a new costume.

  64. Blazing Tornado

    Superman clearly took his friendly contest with Chuck Norris too seriously.

  65. 5. Coincidentally, that same day, Clark Kent got one million dollars in insurance.

  66. 6. Right as Fox News is about to reveal that superman is an illegal immigrant….

  67. Watson Bradshaw

    last 5

    6) Ma Kent did raise him in a barn, I guess.

    7) Now Supes, make a wish?

    8) That’s the last time Lois will make fun of of him being an orphan.

    9) whoops, He forgot, no skylight!

    10) building high five!

  68. Hasaan, chop!

  69. Superman does away with two-bound buildings, at 11:00pm.

  70. 2) Able to slice a building in half with a single chop! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!

  71. 1. Superman didn’t once stop to wonder why the building was apparently made of rubber.

  72. Buildings that make a difference in Kryptonian life or death situations.

  73. And so, Superman’s life was spared that day, and everyone else at the site perishes.

  74. Superman’s version of the Slap Chop. If you like this, then you’ll love his nuts!

  75. Chocolate Soda

    1. We find a good reason why we don’t tell secrets.
    2. An average day in Metropolis, high rates of earthquakes and paranoia.
    3. I never tried this yoga exercise….
    4. The start of a new war, Superman vs. The Rest of the United States.
    5. Proven to be an anger management course.
    6. It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a cheap man in spandex!

  76. 7. Superman begins to think maybe he shouldn’t have made that bet with Bob the builder…

    8. Part four of National Geographic’s most dangerous predators: the skyscraper.

  77. alphaalpharomeo

    1) And just like Superman, GASBGONE allows easy, flexable gas removement.

    2)Afterwards he realized the daycare was still occupied by 37 swedish children.

    3)He later realized the building he needed was 27 blocks due east.

    4)once he realized he had destroyed the wrong building, he used the first excuse that came to his mind.

    5) And this children, is the day that Superman became a loser, and Lex Luthor was looked upon to help rebuild The Metropolis National Bagel Shop.

    6)Little did he know there was a stripper waiting to jump out of the building shaped cake. It would be his most critizied birthday.

    7)And this was the day the mighty Superman realized he had Super-Schizophrenia

  78. Superman would probably destroy that building even if his life didn’t depend on it.