Poll Position: Wanton destruction of cherished childhood icons

I'm apparently feeling evil today, thus:


Imagine the mighty green muscles flexing, tiny cartoon bodies flying, untold carnage ensuing ... It's World War Hulk, toon-town style! So this is your chance to vent about whatever innocent yet infernally annoying creation you've come to loathe, and fantasizing about their ultimate, disgusting, violence-filled demise. Enjoy! And let us know in comments why you want to see your chosen group mauled by Big Mean Green.

30 Responses to Poll Position: Wanton destruction of cherished childhood icons

  1. Gero says:

    Jeff must be a bronie, because I just voted for My Little Pony, and it still says zero votes (and it’s outlined, so I know it registered as me hitting it, and not one of the other choices)…

  2. ams says:


  3. Moognation says:

    Was gonna vote, but neither the Kardashians nor the Jersey Shore scumwads were on the list…

  4. Dr. Shrinker says:

    Stupid Ewoks…dragging the Star Wars series down to brainless “kiddie fare!” Smash ’em, smash ’em all!!!

  5. The Eric says:

    We’re talking about pre-“Friendship is Magic” My Little Pony here, right?

  6. Bael says:

    The Smurfs for the anti-intellectual slant.

  7. X-stacy says:

    Smurfs. Do any of those other properties have a movie out that’s beating Captain America and Cowboys & Aliens at the box office?

  8. Shade2075 says:

    Ewoks at least have some fight in them sure they might look cute and cuddly but they have some intelligence.
    The Smurfs on the other hand if I hear la-la-la-lala-la one more time…

  9. Corran Horn says:

    Ewoks would destroy the others on the list, so I have to go with care bears. It would be funny to see them try to stop the Hulk with hugs…

  10. Dan says:

    Jeff, this could be the hardest choice yet. I will give the Ewoks a pass, because of my love of Star Wars. I long ago forgave those vicious little human-flesh hungry beasts. (Though the cartoon was unwatchably bad.)I’m gonna have to go with the Wiggles, because they creep me out.

  11. Joel says:

    I said my little pony. mainly because I used to watch a lot of tv (on the tv, I know its a revolutionary concept). Any way, any time I saw a my little pony comercial I wanted to barf and had to change the channel. Also my little ponies are plastic so they’d smash. I was gonna say Care Bears but I doubt they would even feel it. BTW, if anyone else hates my little pony, google search my little pony apocalypse pony, so freakin’ funny!

  12. C. Baize says:

    Second most annoying race in Star Wars. Only barely behind Gungans.

  13. TopHat says:

    Now this is a poll!

    I was originally going to pick Smurfs, but I can’t be mad at a movie that has NPH in it…

    Ewoks, they have it coming.

  14. Jake says:

    My little pony. So tired of seeing crap about them on the internet.

  15. Kytana says:

    Smurf…sounds like a new energy drink.
    I hate smurf. When i hear the first time
    “Les Schtroumpfs”(in belgian where the creator comes)in english i must laugh.
    And the Rest?
    I like the Ewoks. In the past i love the series.
    And i like star wars…but the sound of music is… ok you can smash it too.
    Care bears are delicious.
    Hulk can eat them.
    My little pony.. oh yeah i have second from this little sweet…eh…he can riding of the or…eat.

    Hm…what the hell is wiggles?

  16. Dan says:

    @Kytana, The Wiggles is super creepy group of Australian men that do a kids show. They could be the poster boys for NAMBLA.

  17. Myro says:

    Gah! The evil of this poll, Jeff, isn’t the image of Hulk smashing childhood icons to a meaty paste, it’s that you gave us too many worthy contenders. I wish I could make multiple votes.

    I’m probably going to pick My Little Pony. That’s the only one I’m familiar with that I thought was lame even when I was a kid.

  18. Danny Beaty says:

    How about “All of the above”?

  19. spidercow2010 says:

    If only I could vote for Dora the Explorer…
    I went with Smurfs, because of the mental image of all those blue smears against the green Hulk. Gorgeous!

  20. spidercow2010 says:

    Second thoughts; not changing my vote: Of course, the Ewoks would be the only ones who’d put up any kind of fight, thus enraging the Hulk more, thus engendering MORE carnage, and everybody wins. Except the Ewoks.

  21. Kaylin88100 says:

    I wish there was an option for “all of the above” but I went with My Little Pony. One word: “YUK!”

  22. Loki says:

    …Am I the only Brony here? 🙁

  23. X-stacy says:

    Could be, Loki. But Doctor Doom has your back, so what else do you need?

    I have to ask, though, because I wonder every time I see something about MLP on the internet: is your love for them genuine, or ironic? Like, is the Friendship is Magic series actually good or just amusingly bad or bizarre in a way you find awesome? (I promise I won’t judge you either way. I love GI Joe, Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys, and SwatKats. I have to room to judge anybody on matters of taste).

  24. X-stacy says:

    Er…no, not to. No room to judge. Clearly I should have stayed off the internet today.

  25. knight1192a says:

    Just let most of them be made into live action movies, that’ll smash ’em worse than Hulk. What is it with the way they have to ruin what was a good cartoon when they decide to make it live action these days? It like “Oh yeah, great cartoon series, we’ll get folks come in to share a piece of their childhood with their own kids. But, uh, let’s update it so it completely trashes the characterizations. No one will know the difference.”

  26. The Eric says:

    The show is genuinely enjoyable, but there’s almost certainly a novelty to it being My Little Pony that’s so good.

  27. McKnight57 says:

    Care Bears. Nothing should ever be that happy all the time. It’s kind of like clowns not named Pennywise or IT. Nothing should ever be smiling 100% of the time. It’s just too freakin’ creepy.

  28. Me, Myself & I says:

    I would have voted for the Teletubes were they on the list. I ended up voting for the Carebears in the end. They say that you can tell a lot about someone by seeing who their enemies are. The Carebears enemies were just pathetic.

  29. knight1192a says:

    Barney. If we’re gonna bring up would haves had they been on the list then I say Barney. How many of us, even if we don’t read Hulk comics, wouldn’t be willing to shell out the money to see Hulk smash that purple monstrosity? “HULK SMASH STUPID PURPLE DINOSAUR!!!!” Yeah, I’d pay just for that line.