Nothing like a good drunken revelry

Previously on “Lone Wolf”, we decided to fill ourselves with righteous fury and pursue the scurrilous dogs who so rudely treated us after our “rescue” at sea. And so we returned to the wharf, hoping to find their fishing galley (and, presumably, the villains themselves).

Huzzah, we’ve gotten some of our lost booty back! I hate it when my booty gets lost. Although, apparently in this town they have an entire street dedicated to it …

I can’t help but wonder why a hammock in a low-rent fishing boat in a medieval type setting has a label at all, and does it say “Thou shalt not removeth yon lable lest thou incur the righteous fury of the local constabulary”? And if it does have to have a label in it, why would it would indicate where the owner was going? Of course, maybe it’s a magic label, enchanted to always show the location of its owner. In which case no husband anywhere anytime anyway would ever, ever buy it, even under threat of death.

Then I thought, well, maybe the label shows where the hammock was purchased. But then, why the heck is a tavern selling hammocks? Is it “The North Star Tavern and Wal-Mart”?

These are the kinds of things that my brain does to me. It’s not pretty.

Anyway, I definitely got the sense from the responses last time that running these bastards down was on our minds, so I made a command decision and pursued them on to Section 215 towards Barnacle Street.

I hope they’re having a sale on hammocks. Them things is comfy! Continuing the pursuit, I chose to enter.

Aha! We’ve tracked them down at last. What are the odds that a bunch of thieving sailors on shore leave would go to a tavern to get drunk?! And yet, our budding Sherlock Holmes nonetheless cracked the case. Now, of course, we need to decide what to do:

Arm-wrestling? Seriously? All I can say is, if this turns into a fantasy version of “Over the Top” and we end up facing Sylvester Stallone over a sweat-drenched table, I’m going to hunt Joe Dever the author down and buy him many many drinks.

So what’ll it be, intrepid explorers? Do we continue our pursuit of justice, do we chill out and chat up the local barrista, or do we make like Stallone and impress the locals with our mighty Kai thews?

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 45 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

11 Responses to Nothing like a good drunken revelry

  1. Damn you Jeff, I just had a vision of Lone Wolf, with a baseball cap on, telling the camera how he’s like a truck, and turning the cap backwards.

  2. Hmmm, I’m torn between the RPG standard action “talk to the innkeeper/barman” and acting like a bada$$ risking a fight with the entire bar by confronting the fishermen….

    And then somewhere in the back of my head I hear a chant saying “Fight…Fight…Fight…” so I’m with the fight!

  3. We should confront the fishermen, and I know just how we’ll do it!

  4. My best guess to explain the label–you know, other than the fact the author couldn’t think of a realistic clue to give us–is that the pirate-fishermen stole the hammock from a previous trip to the tavern. Why the tavern would have hammocks instead of beds, I don’t know, unless they’re encouraging the sailors to take their women of negotiable affection elsewhere. But it doesn’t seem like this place would be so picky. Ah, well, I guess we’ll never know.

    Let’s go start us a fight. Preferably that one bar fight that was used in all the old Deathstalker movies, with the little guy in the corny Viking helmet dangling from the ceiling after getting his horns stuck in a beam.

  5. We probably should talk to the bartender. The option probably wouldn’t be there if he didn’t have anything useful to say. Or, it could be the writer’s trick to lure us to a silly meaningless death so he can point and laugh.

    X-stacy
    Boy, that brings back memories. Can’t find the whole thing, but here’s a sample.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTlAKBdsTHU
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjtflqyU54U&feature=related

    As for the hammock, it is clearly enchanted to find it’s user in case he falls overboard.

  6. I’m reminded of several “Samurai Jack” episodes here. Talking to the barman usually results in either information, an encounter with the ruffians, or some other fight. I vote talk to the barman.

  7. I’m for talking to the barman too. What’s the worst that could happen? (I know, famous last words.) Just as long as we don’t drink anything (so we don’t get poisoned or drugged). We might get some good information, and I don’t think he’s so engaging, we might miss the fishermen leaving behind our back.

  8. It’s time we lay waste to the dogs would take from usseth! Our pride is at stake, after all. Not to mention the shimmery thinamajig we need to finish this hardy venture.

    That was an interesting turn for me. Someone pinch me if I go too far.

  9. William A. Peterson

    I went with the Arm Wrestling thing, only because trying to be logical never goes well with these things…

  10. spidercow2010

    Wm. A.P. is probably right, but if we WERE to apply logic, it might be good to know how long the sailors have been drinking, whether they’ve unloaded the dingus somehow, if they seem to be waiting for friends/reinforcements, if they’ve got tattoos; that sort of thing. Even if the bartender rats us out, we’re still in no less of a fight than we’d be if we just barged on up to their table.

  11. Why does the hammock have a label? Product placement, of course! It was probably “North Star Tavern Hammock Day” at the ballpark. Or maybe the hammock was one of those promotional giveaways that you get along with a cheap ballpoint pen when you apply for a credit card.

    I would vote for the innkeeper, but I’m afraid if we do that, the fishermen might notice us and slip out…