Safe word, safe word!

When last we left our outer-space, far-future adventure, Doctor Octopus’ illegitimate cyborg love child was wrapping its metal tentacles lovingly around our only spacecraft. We decided to stand idly by as a witness to this Grand Theft UFO, and as a result:

You watch while, like some robotic garbage collector, the spider vehicle lifts your spacecraft off the ground and ascends into the clouds, leaving you standing helplessly on the barren rust-colored ground. A loneliness sweeps over you worse than any you experienced in space. You strap on your backpack and start walking over the flat, rubble-strewn terrain, trying to travel in a straight line.

The sun never shows through the clouds; the sky gets darker. Nightfall will soon be upon you. You have no idea how far you’ve traveled or how far you are from civilization — if there is any civilization on this sad world.

Soon it’s almost completely dark. At least you’re not cold. You like on the hard, sandy ground and try to sleep. You manage to doze off.

You’re wakened abruptly by a sound overhead. Opening your eyes, you see the spider vehicle hovering over you. The wires are already unreeling. You jump up, yelling at the craft above, hoping someone on board will hear you, but no one answers. Instead, wires drop down and get in position to wrap around you.

You try to remember the secret word the Oracle of Time gave you. Maybe you should use it now!

Well, Intrepid Bystanders, what will it be? Do we get nervous at the sensuous approach of those silky, glinting tentacles like some Hentai movie gone wrong and shout out our Safe Word, or do we grit our teeth and see our far-future adventure out to the end, hoping to get a free guided tour of Doctor Otto Octavius’ Pleasure Palace of Ye Olde Earthe?

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 45 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

7 Responses to Safe word, safe word!

  1. Well, hey, standing around worked so well before, let’s just do that again!

    I really don’t know what to do. I’d hate to use up our one safe word before we even have a clue what’s going on. Surely the mech-spider will give us some exposition before killing us, or bring us to someone who will. I mean, it’s a pretty weak story if you die without any idea why. But then I think back to Lone Wolf, going out like a bitch without even a chance to defend himself, and I realize that choose your own adventure books can, in fact, be pretty weak.

  2. I’m with X-stacy. It does seem like a waste to use our safe word so early on. ans while we might die, I’m hoping the spider vehicle is just taking us somewhere else (maybe a city, even if it’s just it’s nextdoor garbage recycling plant) where we can proceed….

  3. TOLD YA SO!!! Didn’t I say staying outside would get us left behind? DIDN’T I?!! But NOOOOOOO!!! You people just HAD to stand there STARING while they made off with our ship!

    Ninnies.

    Sigh. At least they came back for us, so we’re not gonna starve. And there’s no way I’m safe-wording out now. ONWARD!

  4. Y’know, I’m voting for the safe word. While avoiding the imminent orifice violation should be paramount on everyone’s to-do list, I can’t help but quibble about “The Future”; it’s mutated denizens, the ear thumping Techno soundtrack psychically downloaded into our sanity-depleted frontal lobes by way of Spacey Kaseem of Alpha-Alpha, and the Wall-E motif is wearing rather thin.

    ;)

  5. I do know one thing this week. I’m going to start voting opposite of what I want, since that seems to happen anyway. Hopefully there’ll be some reverse voting magnetism and I’ll get the choice I really want.

  6. BTW, dm3588, I know your pain all to well. Stupid votemongers RUINING MY STORY!!!

  7. I say we take our chances with the metallic arachnids. It seems a waste to get rid of our get out of jail free card at the first/second sign of danger.