Caption Contest 93: Fleeing the Scene

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

I love this panel. Why is Captain Triumph flying away from a burning building? Or is it filled with some other noxious substance, perhaps left on purpose by our jodhpur-wearing friend (I put the over-under on fart jokes this week at 17)? I can't wait to see what you all come up with! The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like)!

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit on the number of submissions beyond normal self-editing (i.e. don’t spam crappy entries hoping to get lucky), so good luck to everyone. Contest closes next Monday.

93 Responses to Caption Contest 93: Fleeing the Scene

  1. 1-Arson Man, awa-ay!

  2. 2-There is no way they’re pinning this one on me!

  3. Not an entry, just a question/observation: is that guy wearing an equestrian outfit, and why?

  4. 1. Gero Says:
    I left something in the oven

  5. lol gero im usin ur name

  6. 1 – Insert Fart Joke Here
    2 – That’ll help me replace Johnny!
    3 – One tenement down for progress! Here comes the mall!

  7. SAVE YOURSELVES!

  8. My work here is done, citizens!

  9. 1. “Hugh Downs awaaaay!!!” (Family Guy reference)

    2. “And thus I shall change my name from Captain Triumph to Captain Epic Fail.”

    3. Go, go, gadget stiletto heels!

    4. “In brightest day, in darkest dusk.
    Captain Triumph does what he must.
    Let those who worship evil recant.
    Beware the Triumph… of my equestrian pants!”

  10. I meant to do that!

  11. 1. That’s the last time I ask someone to pull my finger…geez!

  12. 1. Let this be a lesson to the next person to comment on my butt in these pants.

    2. Best. Bong Party. Ever.

    3.”I wanna lava lamp in my dorm”, Timmy said. “Dangerous”, I said.

    4. Egads! The Cypress Hill set has already started!

    5. Whatever. Full House is on.

  13. ThePerfectTense

    1. Safety!

  14. “Come back with my pants!!”

  15. At least it was a silent one.

  16. 1. Able to set fire to tall buildings in a single bound!

    2. Sirhan Sirhan ain’t got nothin’ on me!

    3. Does this smoke match my shirt?

    4. My outfit isn’t the only thing that’s flaming.

    5. Hot child in the city, lookin’ wild, lookin’ pretty.

    6. I shall avenge you, other 11 Lords a’leaping!

  17. 1 – Jeans factory: Check.
    Jodhpurs forever, biatch!

  18. 2 – Come back, Pegasus!

  19. unknownblackpaper

    “I don’t wanna go to school, Mom!”

    “Crap! This is what happens when you leave the iron on! The one time I did and look what happened.”

  20. I’m Back!!!

    “Time for Burrito Boy to run for the border!”

    “Wow,this Taco Bell value menu sure gives a lot of bang for your buck!”

  21. 1. I came I saw and my phobia wins!
    2. looks like i forgot my helmet, flight jacket and jetpack, be back soon

  22. “oh God! What made me even THINK I could throw a barbecue?”

    “Quick, people in the burning building, do like I do! Fly to safe-oh. right.”

  23. “Now on to my next great adventure!”

    “Take THAT everyone who was ever mean to me in high school.”

    “See, I am cool, the fact that I’m not looking at that explosion totally out ways my horrible outfit… right?”

    “Remember kids, It’s only a crime if you get caught.”

  24. Big Gulps, huh? Welp, see ya later.

  25. – “Fire Safety class was a success!”

    – “Damn it, Human Torch sneezed!”

  26. Okay now wait for 5 minutes, then back, save the day and be a hero.

  27. Well, that’s the last time I’ll eat baked beans near an open flame!

  28. This looks like a job for…someone else!

  29. “Whew! I need to cool off. It’s like an inferno in there.”

  30. “up, up and getawaaayyy!”

  31. “Don’t worry citizens, I’ll…whoah, happy hour at MacLaren’s just started!”

  32. “When a fire produces orange and purple smoke, it’s time to call it quits.”

  33. 3-Every man for himself!

  34. “Beat us at polo, will you? Now who triumphs? That’s right, Captain Triumph!”

  35. “This is how The Human Torch REALLY died!”

  36. Might be a little long:

    “Wait a second. They say, in Soviet Russia, “Building sets fire to you.” Which means me! Well, dasvidanya to that, commrades!”

  37. alphaalpharomeo

    “Up, Up, and getting the hell out of hear.”

    “You think I’m flying, but the explosion actually tossed me up in the air”

    “Candle light and borrittos….Bad combo.”

    “CABBAGE TARTS.”

    “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!!!!”

    “I should subit this video to ‘Worlds Worst Cooks'”

  38. alphaalpharomeo

    “Behold the pwer of my firecroch…..I will destroy you Lindsay Lohan!!!!”

  39. “TAG! You’re it!”

  40. Have no fear, the Arsonist is here!

  41. “Help out around the house, she said! Make the meatloaf, she said!”

  42. Rush into a burning building, you can’t be serious.
    Fire burns after all.

  43. “You all saw it! That orphanage attacked me!”

  44. 1. That’s a three alarm fire, at least.

    2. Where’s Superman when you need him?

    3. My castle!

    4. There goes the neighborhood.

  45. dude i told you lighting a fart on fire was a bad idea

  46. I guess that takes care of the dead hooker?

  47. “With a show like The Cape, I just HAD to burn down NBC”

    “This is what happens when the wife makes me cook”

  48. The Doomed Pixel

    And they fumigation isn’t a real superpower!

  49. 1- “Oh no!! I forgot the marshmallows!!”

  50. 2- “I should REALLY pick up the milk before I forget it.”

  51. 3- “Up, Up and away, Michael Bay!”

  52. Oh it’s just an orphanage… well no sense in putting this fire out.

  53. 1. “Feel the burn baby! And I mean it literally!”
    2. “When you said kick the dish up a notch you didn’t told me not to kick a bottle of whiskey into fireplace.”
    3. “What do you mean you haven’t a gravity defying pizza delivery guy before?”
    4. “Left my sandwich on the top of roof.”
    5. “Listen kids! Always choose the toxic gas.”
    6. “No rich people ´in here? Darn it!”
    7. “Orphanage isn’t qualfied for the epic rescue list, bye!”

  54. 1. No building is safe from . . . . “Captain Bare Cheeks”

    2. Oowww, in my haste to get out, I seem to have given myself a massive wedgie!

    3. oohhh errr, in my haste to get out I seem to have put my wife’s tights on!

  55. oh hang on guys I put my wife’s spandex on by mistake, be right back just stay right there…

  56. hang on guys, I put my wife’s spandex on by mistake

  57. “THIS is why Mexican restaurants don’t make it in Super Town….The Super-Farts!”

  58. “Fire is so close so my heroic character get into real asshole”

  59. Did I do that? Let me go get some other idiot wearing disco pants to take the blame!

  60. alphaalpharomeo

    “I bet my TiVo will think twice the next time it wants to record the Jersey Sore.”

  61. “Well maybe calling Polo man to a burning building wasn’t such a good idea!”

  62. /obvious

    “Oops”

    /obvious

  63. We don’t need no water let that muthalova burn!

  64. OK .. maybe I didn’t save THAT day.

  65. Gero, according to his wiki entry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Triumph), Captain Triumph debuted as the superhero trend was dying down, so his costume was kept to a minimum–enough to say “superhero” without shouting it–in an attempt to draw a wider audience. Whether that’s true, or just speculation, I don’t know.

  66. 1. I really need a less explosive launch sequence!

    2. Man, the recipe looked so easy… guess I’m getting take out… AGAIN!

    3. That is not what I thought they meant by smoking jacket!

    4. Captain Flatulence… Away!

    5. Oops!

    6. Damn!… Why do I always push the shiny button!

  67. Nicholas/GtaMythMaster43

    1. Oh…oh crap, not again! I need to take flying lesson’s….

    2. I should have listened to mother, never add water to oil!

    3. Terrorist man, AWAY!!!!!

    4. I should have know, never push the shiny button.

  68. 1. ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I SWEAR TO BULLETMAN!

  69. – Inflmamable means flammable? What a country (Simpsons reference)

    – Somebody call Aquaman!

    – What’s that? Firefly’s broken into the propane warehouse again? … send Beastboy this time

    – Easiest-cosplay-ever-man, AWAY!

    – This last one is a skit
    B: Captain Triumph, at last, we need your help
    CT: At ease bystander, what seems to be the problem?
    B: Well… this fire, Captain Triumph… surely you saw it on the way over
    CT: Oh really? You want this sorted? … I kinda like it as it is… that was the reason I continued to fly and probably why I didn’t hear your inital crys for help
    B: Yes, if anything it looked like you seemed to speed up when I did so. Good thing that photographer’s flash caught your attention
    CT: yes, isn’t it… otherwise it may have looked like I fleed from a crime scene… well, this has been a pleasant talk, we really must-
    B: -but Captain Triumph, the fire!
    CT: Oh, you still on that? Well you know I’d love too, but the thing is that the building’s timber is made of wood, which is my one weakness.
    B: I thought that was the Green Lantern?
    CT: what, you calling me a liar? Two people can’t have the same weakness, that it?
    B: forgive mey Captain Triumph, but I just didn’t assume that your ghost powers would be effected by wood, especially since I’ve seen you save people from such buildings before
    CT: well… of course they wouldn’t, but it’s that the actual fire is the true cause of my weakened powers
    B: isn’t that the Martian Manhunter’s weakness?
    CT: oh sorry, I didn’t realise Captain Wikipedia had arrived on scene. Why don’t I just leave this in your capable hands
    B: … you don’t have powers, do you?
    CT: … um … no … in all honesty, I just did it this one time to impress a girl… I think we can admit it’s gone a bit far
    B: and the flying?
    CT: spring boots… yeah, I found them on ebay… I could still do regular guy things if you want, maybe call the fire brigade, or fetch some buckets and-
    B: -just go
    CT: Sure thing

  70. “Goddammit, did they ALREADY bring the Human Torch back?!”

  71. Nicholas/GtaMythMaster43

    Dammit! The human torch had the bean chaloopa again!

  72. Why does this keep happening to me? I’ll never get into the JLA now!

  73. Remember the Alamo – because there won’t be much left of it.

  74. “I sure wish I had something clever to say right now.”

    “So long suckas!”

    “Oh good, It looks like fire department is only 30 minutes away. I guess you guys don’t need me.”

  75. Nicholas/GtaMythMaster43

    1. My pact with the Devil isn’t working! When I said I wanted to ‘burn down the dance floor’…this isn’t what I had in mind!
    2. When they told be farts were flamable I didn’t think they meant ‘they can set the draps on fire’!
    3. Ha! Now that I’ve burned my apartment down I’m sure to get my insurance money!

  76. @X-stacy (65): Interesting Wikipedia article, including its mention of AC Comics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AC_Comics), a publisher of which I was unaware. Perhaps a merger with DC is in order?

  77. Hey look!
    Smoke signals from the Grateful Dead Tribe!!!

  78. Wow I can see Linsey Lohan’s career from up here!!!

  79. that was one loaded burrito

  80. eric ross burton

    if i get out of here quickly i can come back later and every one will think im a hero wait did i say that out loud

  81. or maybe

    Damn!… Why do I always push the big shiny button?

  82. 1. Well with the human torch dead… someone has to do it!

    2. Haha.. The Human Torcher strikes again!

    3. Man… This happens everytime Johnny Storm has a party!

    4. Later dudes!! (Man that Kumar cracks me up!)

    5. Captain Escape… Awaaay!

  83. Sorry… but you didn’t pay up on time. Guido doesn’t do interest.

  84. “Don’t let it happen again or next time you won’t get off so easily.”

    “Take THAT billy Joel, I guess I DID start the fire!”

  85. Giant radioactive gummi worms are destroying the city! My muscles are no match! This looks like a job for Kirstie Alley!

  86. Wow, I really did leave the oven on.

  87. So THAT’S why you’re not supposed to divide by zero, huh? Interesting…

  88. 1- I gotta work on my landings

    2- Damn! No toilet paper!

    3- I’m not coming back until Hulk swears off the chili!

    4- That Kryptonian weed is the BOMB!

  89. 1- Practice makes perfect! I’ll catch the NEXT bomb!

    2- I don’t care who wins the JLA farting contest!

    3- I should’ve cut the GREEN wire…

    4- Guess there’s a reason you don’t put Jiffy-Pop in the microwave

  90. That will show her to cheat on me! Cant wait to see the look on her face when she sees the job I did on her apartment ha ha!

  91. “CHEESE IT!”

  92. ThePerfectTense

    2. You won’t get away with this, Dr. Flobberbottom!

  93. ThePerfectTense

    3. Burn, baby, burn!