Earth ho!

Not that kind of ho … probably. We’ll see. This is a family adventure, after all. The votes are in and we’re proceeding to Earth:

Your trip to Earth goes smoothly; your craft smoothly brakes as it approaches Earth’s atmosphere. Suddenly you can’t see anything through your windows but the dense clouds that cover the planet.

A voice comes from speakers on the instrument panel. “Greetings from Earth Orbit Monitor Twenty-Two-Two-Two. We have been advised by Suprema Eight-seven to the Fifth Power that you wish to land. Normally, only archaeologists and reconstructionists visit Earth. It is not classified as a habitable planet. Nearly all descendants of Earth survivors have moved to distant colonies. Are you sure you want to land? If not, we can redirect you to Sintra, which has an environment similar to the one Earth had during its prime eons.”

On one hand, Sintra sounds a lot like Sinatra. A planet full of blue-eyed crooners and swingers might be just the ticket, since Earth looks like nothing more than a second-rate Venus by now.

On the other hand, it’s Earth, baby! The Caves of Time are there, too, so maybe we could make our way to some more exciting locale.

Which’ll it be, intrepid explorers?

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 44 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

9 Responses to Earth ho!

  1. What’s everyone’s thoughts so far? I’m not sure which way to go.

  2. Oh, by the way, in honor of so much Rock Band 3 I’ve played lately, “This is Ground Control to Major Tom…”

  3. William A. Peterson

    I know I’m outvoted, but, really, guys…
    Are you all that big on being railroaded in the most obvious direction?

  4. If there are all these other options for places to go, why did the elongated chick only give us the choice between Earth and, uh, the other colony that hasn’t been mentioned since–what was it? Alpha Alpha?

  5. (Btw, voted to go to Sintra, because we’ve been given three chances not to go to Earth, and I’m starting to feel like a guy standing on his roof in a flood telling people god will protect him. I’ve turned away the boats, but I’m taking the helicopter.)

  6. I think X-Stacy has a point. This Major Tom is bailing for Sintra, baby.

  7. Trust The Computer. The Computer is your friend.Only a commie mutant traitor would doubt Friend Computer’s wise advice.

    Somebody really doesn’t want us to go to earth.

  8. It didn’t take much to convince me from the get-go that people from the future are complete d*#ks (…yes, even my own descendants are included in this category– though they surely didn’t get that from my side of the family :)). I’m voting we park our well-fed rears on the planet that we’ve loving called home for countless centuries.

  9. Well, it’s time for burnt-to-a-crisp, oh-my-god-how-did-it-get-this-horrible-Earth, then. *waves flag sarcastically* Hooray, a dead planet. Can’t wait.

    It would be fun if there were a Zombie apocalypse survival book.