A lot of how you approach the following broadcast of the Comic Book Nerd Fantasy Question Network depends on how you define "permanently". Because if there's one thing comic book nerds like me love as much as comics, it's arguments about grammar, especially when they involve Batman. However, here's the question:
Alarums and excursions to follow!
- Avengers: On the one hand, you'd think Batman couldn't stand up to the likes of Thor and Iron Man. On the other hand, he was in the Justice League where he went toe-to-toe with Superman and Green Lantern. Granted, that was the Guy Gardner version of GL, but still. Batman's in that elite space of being able to do almost anything, which is odd given his lack of actual super-powers.
- Fantastic Four: I give him two weeks before he's swept Sue away from Reed. I think the personalities involved here would actually make this pretty fascinating reading, since you've got a strong family dynamic that Bruce hasn't experienced since he was a small boy. Despite that opening joke, I wonder how he'd handle constantly being around a married couple with a relatively strong marriage, and siblings who genuinely care for each other. He'd also have to get used to being in a group where he's not the smartest one. However, there's no doubt he'd be the most cunning member of the team, which I sometimes think they desperately need. Plus, it'd be fun to see him and Johnny cutting a swathe through New York's most eligible bachelorettes.
- Nick Fury's Howling Commandos: I'm thinking the WWII version here. What I like most about it is that Nick Fury and Bruce Wayne seem to be very similar personalities to me -- smart, cunning, and ruthless when it comes to accomplishing their missions. Plus, I think we can all agree it would be awesome to see Batman punching out Nazis.
- Power Pack: Holy Benighted Babysitters, Batman! I would literally pay cash money to see Batman changing a diaper, or telling a teammate to go sit in time-out.
- Teen Titans: I shouldn't have put this on the list since it wouldn't be a crossover. Bad Jeff, BAD! Plus, this would suck, since part of the energy of Teen Titans is Robin's desire to prove himself.
- The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Not the crappy movie that traded Alan Moore for Tom Sawyer, but the original series. Thanks to numerous "what if" type story lines, we've seen Bats team up with some of fiction's greatest characters like Sherlock Holmes before, but I think it'd be cool to see him with this particular group.
- X-Men: The over-under on how long it takes Batman to wrest control of the group away from Cyclops would be about thirty seconds. The over-under on how many times he would tell Cyclops "No whining" would hopefully be close to a million, because I would straight-up never get tired of that.
The most intriguing ones to me are the X-Men and the Fantastic Four. The Avengers are all about raw, unadulterated power and flinging the biggest weapons at the biggest opponents. Although he can play that game, that isn't really when Batman's at his best, in my opinion. The Power Pack would be hilarious as a one-off or mini-series, but not long-term.
So I would go with the Fantastic Four, for the reasons I gave -- I think the story-telling hooks would be fascinating, given the family nature of the team.
What about you, what would you like to see? I went ahead and took the liberty of making an imaginary cover for my imaginary team-up, not to influence your vote or anything!