Poll Position: Bat duty

A lot of how you approach the following broadcast of the Comic Book Nerd Fantasy Question Network depends on how you define "permanently". Because if there's one thing comic book nerds like me love as much as comics, it's arguments about grammar, especially when they involve Batman. However, here's the question:


Alarums and excursions to follow!

  • Avengers: On the one hand, you'd think Batman couldn't stand up to the likes of Thor and Iron Man. On the other hand, he was in the Justice League where he went toe-to-toe with Superman and Green Lantern. Granted, that was the Guy Gardner version of GL, but still. Batman's in that elite space of being able to do almost anything, which is odd given his lack of actual super-powers.
  • Fantastic Four: I give him two weeks before he's swept Sue away from Reed. I think the personalities involved here would actually make this pretty fascinating reading, since you've got a strong family dynamic that Bruce hasn't experienced since he was a small boy. Despite that opening joke, I wonder how he'd handle constantly being around a married couple with a relatively strong marriage, and siblings who genuinely care for each other. He'd also have to get used to being in a group where he's not the smartest one. However, there's no doubt he'd be the most cunning member of the team, which I sometimes think they desperately need. Plus, it'd be fun to see him and Johnny cutting a swathe through New York's most eligible bachelorettes.
  • Nick Fury's Howling Commandos: I'm thinking the WWII version here. What I like most about it is that Nick Fury and Bruce Wayne seem to be very similar personalities to me -- smart, cunning, and ruthless when it comes to accomplishing their missions. Plus, I think we can all agree it would be awesome to see Batman punching out Nazis.
  • Power Pack: Holy Benighted Babysitters, Batman! I would literally pay cash money to see Batman changing a diaper, or telling a teammate to go sit in time-out.
  • Teen Titans: I shouldn't have put this on the list since it wouldn't be a crossover. Bad Jeff, BAD! Plus, this would suck, since part of the energy of Teen Titans is Robin's desire to prove himself.
  • The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Not the crappy movie that traded Alan Moore for Tom Sawyer, but the original series. Thanks to numerous "what if" type story lines, we've seen Bats team up with some of fiction's greatest characters like Sherlock Holmes before, but I think it'd be cool to see him with this particular group.
  • X-Men: The over-under on how long it takes Batman to wrest control of the group away from Cyclops would be about thirty seconds. The over-under on how many times he would tell Cyclops "No whining" would hopefully be close to a million, because I would straight-up never get tired of that.

The most intriguing ones to me are the X-Men and the Fantastic Four. The Avengers are all about raw, unadulterated power and flinging the biggest weapons at the biggest opponents. Although he can play that game, that isn't really when Batman's at his best, in my opinion. The Power Pack would be hilarious as a one-off or mini-series, but not long-term.

So I would go with the Fantastic Four, for the reasons I gave -- I think the story-telling hooks would be fascinating, given the family nature of the team.

What about you, what would you like to see? I went ahead and took the liberty of making an imaginary cover for my imaginary team-up, not to influence your vote or anything!

14 Responses to Poll Position: Bat duty

  1. Fyzza says:

    I’d go with the X-men, I’d like to see how he gets along with Wolverine.

  2. Kalkin says:

    The Fantastic Four needs Batman desperately, because they have a serious deficit of cynicism and advance preparation (even that hundred-and-one-ideas didn’t work well enough, since Reed has no balls to go through with it). 3/4 the time the troubles they have are self-inflicted and easily avoidable by a good dose of Batman. With Batman aboard they might have some other kinds of adventures than going to alternate universes and pissing off locals.

  3. Rich Willett says:

    Batman insted of Tom Sawyer in the league? I like it! I wonder how long it would take for Bats to gain resepect of the other members of the league being the only American member.OR EVEN how long he would take over as leader from Quatermane?
    One team of detectives I like to see Batman help is Mystery Inc. -you know Scooby Doo and his friends!

  4. Watson Bradshaw says:

    I can imagine the banter between wolverine and Bats going something like this.
    “We are mutants, feared and hunted by the human race, I was experimented and tortured by government project to create the perfect killing machine, saw the woman I love get raped and killed, and then had all my memories erased”

    “errrr. oh,I saw my parents shot… but I inherited a fortune 500 company and billions of dollars to aid me on my fight on crime…So whats up with Jean, is she single or what?

  5. Hammerknight says:

    @Rich Batman did team up with Scooby on Scooby’s cartoon.
    Batman would think that the Fantastic Four were to soft.
    The Avengers might work because I think Batman and Capt would work good together, but he would be putting Iron Man in his place and that would lead to trouble.
    WW2 Nick and Batman would work good together, but there would be to many people around and Batman wouldn’t like that. Plus
    batman would not get along with the modern Nick at all.
    Batman and Wolverine would be cool to see fighting side by side, but the X Men are in the spot light to much for Batman’s taste.
    I think the best spot would be with the League, He would fit right in and it would work smooth.

  6. Watson Bradshaw says:

    Put Bats in the LXG (what the movie posters were calling it, sheesh, no wonder Alan Moore cursed it), but make it the bats from the elseworld “Gotham by gaslight” tracking down Jack the Ripper with Quartermain, and butting heads with a known killer like Hyde could be amazing.

  7. The Imp says:

    @Watson (6): I would SO read that.

  8. Myro says:

    Although I think Batman in the League would show some interesting potential, I still have to go with the Avengers. The Batman-Iron Man and Batman-Captain America dynamics would be pretty interesting.

  9. spidercow2010 says:

    Gonna be the antiMyro here. Although I think Batman in the Avengers would show some interesting potential, I still have to go with the LoEG. The Batman-Iron Man and Batman-Captain America dynamics would be, I think, just sort of awkward due to the similarities, and the threat of some sort of egregious Iron Bat thing happening is just too great. On the other hand, Bruce Wayne wresting control of the League away from MI6, putting Jack the Ripper away in a weekend, and then going after, say, Spring-Heeled Jack, or Robur the Conqueror, or the Nyctalope? Or an alliance of all of them? Oh HELL yes.
    But, as Jeff points out, difficulties arise with the word “permanent.” Whichever team you talk about, the LoEG’s entire history has been one of impermanence.

  10. Amscray says:

    Oh, cool. I voted for LXG, too!

  11. Sean Murphy says:

    A lot of intriguing logical arguments, but in the end, I went with my gut, and the Avengers just felt like a better fit than the rest.

  12. Master Batman says:

    League of extraordinary gentlemen for sure. It fits the profile of batman like a glove. Secretive gathering of brilliant minds and wonders from all ’round the world.

  13. spidercow2010 says:

    I just reread my last entry (#9), and realized its last sentence got garbled in my sloppy editing process. Please read instead: “…difficulties arise with the word “permanent” whichever team you talk about, and, in particular, the LoEG’s entire history has been one of impermanence.”
    While I’m here, I’d like to toss in the idea that the Batman doesn’t belong on ANY team.

  14. X-stacy says:

    Yeah, I’m with you, spidercow. Batman’s entire focus is on protecting and cleaning up Gotham…except sometimes, when he jets off into space with the JLA for a couple weeks or whatever. He works in the shadows, almost more myth than man, using fear as one of his major weapons…except that he’s seen in broad daylight with the JLA all the time, and everybody knows that nobody would be allowed to stay on the JLA if he went around actually killing or crippling people.