RP: Worst. Pickup line. Ever.

(From “Ultimate Spider-Man” number 6, ©Marvel Comics.)

9 Responses to RP: Worst. Pickup line. Ever.

  1. Wow, is this the rehash/reboot of how Spidey, Iceman, and Firestar got together? Tee-hee.

  2. I would pay good American money to actually see a comic where they DID just go out for coffee and talk. :D

  3. Oh c’mon, Spiderman can come up with bad pickup lines that are much pithier than this. Something like:

    “You’ve made something tingle baby, and its not my spider-sense!”

  4. @Jeff what do you think of the ultimate green goblin i thought it wa a very smart and contempary way to make him

  5. Ok, I have to object here. You can’t make fun of a Spidey quip. They are funny because they are bad. It diffuses the bomb. It’s like a musician calling themselves a one-hit wonder.

    And, btw, Dr. Shrinker, Spidey would NEVER say something so lame.

    If you want to see Spidey quips at their best/worst, read Bendis’ early issues of New Avengers. You’ll find such instant classics as:

    Spider-Man: “It’s okay, we probably won’t survive the crash.”
    Luke Cage: “What crash?”
    Spidey: “You don’t go to the Savage Land without crashing.”

    Spider-Woman: “They could have at least left our underwear on.”
    Spidey: “That wouldn’t have helped me. I wasn’t wearing any.”
    Spider-Woman: “Why wouldn’t you be wearing any?”
    Spidey: “I chafe.”
    Spider-Woman (to Captain America): “I want off the team.”

    Spidey:”I tore a booty.”
    Luke: “A what?”
    Spidey: “A booty. What do you call it?”
    Luke: “A boot.”

    Spidey: “Can someone carry me?”
    Spider-Woman: “Don’t you have the proportionate strength of a spider.”
    Spidey: “I haven’t slept in two days, a broken arm that hasn’t been looked at and a torn booty.”
    Luke: “That must have been one whiny spider that bit you.”

    Spider-Woman: “That’s the Black Widow.”
    Spidey: “No it isn’t. Black Widow is a redhead with bigger —”
    Spider-Woman: “She’s the other one.”

    Wolverine (to Spider-Woman): “It ain’t like you’re the first to be screwed by Nick Fury.”
    Spidey: “We have shirts.”

    Spidey (to Wolverine, Luke, & Spider-Woman): “You guys are so good at posing.”

  6. Aaaaaand now i’m going to have to start reading “New Avengers”

  7. @ CPrime

    I do not like the cone of shame.

  8. Oh I’m not making FUN of the quip, I think it’s great! It’s just particularly funny to me to read it out of context and thinking of it as a pickup line.

    I am enjoying the Ultimate Spider-Man series a LOT. I’ve laughed out loud more times than with anything I’ve read in the last five years, and more than most TV “comedies” I watch. The characterization is great, the art has really grown on me, and the plots are a lot of fun.

    And yeah, with those quotes I am definitely going to have to start reading New Avengers too, thanks for compiling those.

    Tristan (4), I think the Ultimate Green Goblin is outstanding. The whole treatment of Ultimate Spider Man, his villains, his supporting characters, his place in the Ultimate Universe, all are perfect to me. Great, great series thus far (up to 57 so far I think and reading more every day.)

  9. You and me both Jeff. I think personally, that they should have based the movie’s Green Goblin off of the Ultimate version. But hey…with the reboot we may get that chance.