Caption Contest 87

Welcome all my friends to the show that never ends! We're so glad you could arrive, look inside, look inside!

Or failing that, come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this random comics panel from "Captain America":

Otherwise, the rules are simple — as many entries as you like (within the bounds of good personal editing), appropriate for no worse than a late-night broadcast TV show, by next Monday. The winner receives their choice of a) any item they like to be included in HeroMachine 3; b) any portrait they like to be included in HM3; or c) any subject (within reason) for a Sketch of the Day style custom black and white drawing.

Good luck everyone!

(All of those various Captain America iterations, this specific image, the term “super-hero”, and any ideas you have ever had or might have in the future, along with the contents of your sock drawer, are all © Marvel Comics.)

112 Responses to Caption Contest 87

  1. Avatar Brett says:

    We should have worn parachutes… but that’s ok I can fly (as he let’s go of the others hands and laughs)

  2. Avatar gero says:

    1. One question: why is Batman here?

  3. Avatar gero says:

    2.Wait, who are you guys?

  4. Avatar Jason says:

    “Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya”

  5. Avatar Runt82 says:

    1) Yeah, I’m free! Freefalling!

  6. Avatar Runt82 says:

    2. Um, guys, are our parachutes on backwards?

  7. Avatar MetallicaFan says:

    1) “…ashes, ashes. We all fall down!”

    2) “I’ll never let go Jack.”

    3) “I knew we should have upgraded to business class.”

    4) “I didn’t mean it when I said ‘you jump, I jump.'”

    5) “Damn superglue!”

  8. Avatar Runt82 says:

    3. But why did Bill Gates have to tag along, Batman?

  9. Avatar MLS says:

    “Wonder Triplet Powers–Activate!
    …Activate!…
    ACTIVA-“

  10. Avatar Nick Hentschel says:

    The Ambiguously Gay… TRIO?!

    (Doesn’t fit in the balloon, I know… but it fits.)

  11. Avatar Z. Daniel Phoenix says:

    I vividly remember this comic from my early teens.

    Some of the Horsemen were in it.

    It was one of my favorites of all time.

    I have no catchy slogan to add sadly.

    D-Man, US Agent and Nomad iirc.

  12. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    Admittedly, there are probably better ways to go about rescuing a cat from a tree.

  13. Avatar Dudemeister says:

    1. Now let’s all hold hands boys. THINK POSITIVE! “We can stick this landing. We can stick this landing. We can stick…”

    2. Next stop…GAY CITY! (reference Superman Panel: http://bmj2k.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/gaytoon.jpg )

  14. Avatar Cormac says:

    Well…this is romantic.

  15. Avatar Joshua says:

    1. “League of Second-Rate Knock-Offs…HO!”

    2. “I suppose now’s as good a time as any to come clean…”

    3. “Get it? I broke wind. C’mon on, it’s funny!”

  16. Avatar Jeremy says:

    It WORKED! My Incontinence is cured!

  17. Avatar Oquies says:

    “Seriously can we just drive next time?”

    “Parachute roulette? I wonder who has the fake.”

    “Hey I really can see my house!”

  18. Avatar Black Griffin says:

    1-I wanna hold your haaaaaaaand, i wanna hold your hand.
    2-Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happ…awww shit
    3-[Announcer] and now were back to Extreme-Gay-Weddings on Fox

  19. Avatar cavalier says:

    “Must we do this every time we want to hold hands?”

    “Wait, I forgot my bag!”

    “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

  20. Avatar Nick Hentschel says:

    “Hold tight! If we land on the bottle, we get a stuffed animal!”

  21. Avatar Silver says:

    “so, we hit the side of the rainbow, we WILL be tasting it, no matter what.”

    “and the winner for the worst dressed heroes are…Wait, here the come now!”

    “I swear to god, if Northstar rams one of us from behind at this speed, we will all be pasted…”

  22. Avatar Phatchick says:

    “Ummm, did either of you guys bring an extra chute?”

  23. Avatar thejay says:

    Is that Hiroshima down there? What’s that mushroom cloud coming out of-“

  24. Guy: Liiike tottally what about terry?! We just left him there…

  25. Avatar thejay says:

    Uh… this might be the right time to tell you that I’m not the parachute instructor.

  26. Avatar thejay says:

    Wait, if the three of us are here, who’s flying the plane?

  27. I call this meeting of the Steven Slater Society!

    That joke is about 14 minutes and 59 seconds late. ;9

    http://news.travel.aol.com/2010/08/10/flight-attendant-blows-his-top-yells-at-passengers-and-bolts-do/

  28. Avatar McKnight says:

    1) I TOLD you not to look down!

    2) We all ready for the first synchronized sky-diving practice?

    3) Wait . . . if Batman/Daredevil and Chuck Norris are here, then where are Bucky and Nick Fury?

  29. In the words of the 17th best character ever “captain hero”

    Guy: I can see a girl on donkey guys, LOOK riiiggght there!!
    ——
    Guy 2: Every time we hold hands you yell the same thing…
    ——
    guy 3: Wait when do we open our parach-

  30. I can see a girl on A donkey. F**KIN keybord…

  31. Cap?: Since when did Batman and Blue beetles gay(fab-u-lous) looka like join my goth parachuting club?!

  32. Avatar Alex says:

    1. umm… if are hands are glued together, who’s pullin the parachute

    2. AHHH, LET ME GO U CRAZY SON OF A SPLAT-!!!!!!!

    3. Is that your batarang in your pocket, or are u just happy 2 see me

  33. Come join Caps second rate knock off goth (fab-u-lous) parachuting club!!!! NOWWW!!!
    Arggh….my dignity!!! Jokes…sooo bad I gave some one dieabeitis….miss spelled, dieabeitis….ARGHH!!!

  34. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. This is the LAST time I fly coach!

    2. I have to pee SO bad!

    3. Why are wearing bibs?

    4. Now for something completely different!

  35. Avatar kruger says:

    “strange… parachutes shouldn’t be at our backs?”

  36. Avatar joel says:

    1. OW! where did this window come from?

    2. when Harrison ford said “Get off my plane!” he really meant it huh?

    3. time to get the DROP on these smugglers.

    (My last one is so bad it could actually be the real one)

  37. Avatar ajw says:

    Welcome to the…YMCA! YMCAA!

  38. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    Guys, you are absolutely cracking me up with these, absolutely awesome so far! Keep ’em coming!

  39. Avatar SuperJoe1 says:

    “Guys in retrospect, this renenactment of the Power Rangers Movie Opening was a terrible idea.”

  40. Avatar Tim says:

    1) “Who’s bright idea was this again?!”

  41. Avatar Destrof22 says:

    1. Captain America “Are we there yet?”

    2. Captain America ” Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to let Wolverine pack our chutes!”

    3. When in doubt whip it out.

    4. Captain America to Bucky ” if you pull it more then twice, your playing with it.”

  42. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    1) Above whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
    2) Kumbayaaaaaa my lord…
    3) Wait, where are the parachutes?

  43. Avatar jeremy says:

    Hey who needs a parachute we’re superheros!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  44. Avatar Chisoph says:

    “Does anybody have parachutes?”
    “Can’t we just walk next time?”
    “Maybe, just maybe, we’ll land in a garbage pile, on a couch.”

  45. Avatar Steve M. says:

    1- “…I feel very close to you two right now.”

    2- “Of course this will work. I saw it on TV once.”

    3- “No, my head-wings don’t let me fly. Why do you ask?”

  46. Avatar remy says:

    Crap! D-Man, why’d you let the ginger come with us. That was the whole point of jumping out

  47. http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/darth/images/8/88/Ashoka.jpg

    Hey Jeff, I’ve got your next caption contest right here!
    😀
    So many funny things that could be said…

  48. Guy: Hey! Why’s my parachute filled with dirty laundry?!

  49. Avatar remy says:

    Coulda had a v8…

  50. Avatar Oquies says:

    @ 47 Nicholas/GtaMythMaster43: Um that looks like it could be very funny but, crud or maybe I am just a pervert… 🙁

  51. Avatar Oquies says:

    “Wow, this is even worse then the in flight movie. Wake me up when we land.”

  52. Avatar E.D. says:

    1. As you can see below us, Hiroshima is very populate-where did that glowing cloud come from?

    2. Is this a bad time to tell you that I slept your kids?

    3. For the last time, I’m not U.S. Agent!

    4. I just realized the princess is in another castle!

    5. Did I mention I use to be the Human Torch?

    6. Don’t be shy, D Man! I’m certain Wolverine and Daredevil are going to dig you!

    7. The bad news is one of you has the working parachute. But don’t worry, because I have good news; I just saved a lot of money on car insurance by switching to GIECO!

  53. Avatar E.D. says:

    8. Mission? I thought we were skydiving to Cancun?

  54. Avatar Captain Evil says:

    1: …above what? This does not look like the dropzone…

    2: Wh… -IF you die in the landing, can I get your stuff? …hypotetically?

    3: I’m moving at terminal velocity… with two sexy dudes holding my hands. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

    4: If one of you has any secret superpowers, this is the time to tell me. Especially if you can fly.

    5: Do you think they have pizza?

  55. Avatar Shakakahn says:

    1. Quick, think happy thoughts!

    2. Well I didn’t hear any better ideas from YOU Yellow Marvel Batman!

    3. Who says you can’t choreograph in battle?

    4. Batman?! We specifically ordered Superman!

    5. Anyone else’s tights riding up?

  56. Avatar Runt82 says:

    4) Wait, these are ACME parachutes?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

  57. Avatar BenK22 says:

    1. Oh no! I forgot my wallet!

    2. Wonder triplets, form of a triangle.

    3. I knew I shoul have ordered the fish instead of the chicken.

    4. Do you think we’ll ever see that stewardess again?

    5. Does this qualify us for the mile high club?

  58. Avatar Sean from Edwards says:

    I still say there are easier ways to get around unnoticed after our movies.

  59. Avatar Nick Hentschel says:

    Or just use the old standard:

    “WHEEEEE!!!!!”

  60. 1. Emmm… Guys, I don’t know If it’s the right time to say this, but i think i mixed up the parachutes with the backpacks filled with camping equipment…
    2. I just realized that we could have gotten there by car… Silly me!
    3. Oh crap! I just dropped my shield!
    4. This ain’t scary, this ain’t scary, this ain’t scary… Oh god, I pissed my pants…
    5. The rules are simple; the one without a parachute gets kicked out of the superheroes league…
    6. Don’t worry guys we are almost there! Do you see that beautiful river of lava near the volcano? That’s where we are heading…
    7. Oops… Wrong dropzone guys… We have to get back on that plane and do it again!
    8. I know you are not a big fan of holding hands Wolverine, but this is how proper skydivers do it…
    9. I said, let go off my hands NOW!!!
    10. This sure isn’t what I signed up for… let me back on that plane!!!
    11. All we are is dust in the wind…
    12. Follow my lead and open your chutes only when i say so! Otherwise you’ll end up like Spiderman… They call him Splattered-man now…

  61. Avatar Mr.Chris says:

    “This the last time we take advice from the group therapist”

  62. Avatar Paul says:

    I am not a professional skydiver but I did stay the night at a Holiday Inn Express!

  63. Avatar Me, Myself & I says:

    Remember, the secret to flying is to forget to fall . . . Oh darn, I just ruined it didn’t I?

  64. Avatar Myro says:

    I swear, Hydra will totally crap themselves when we skydive into their place. I mean, when they see Captain America, Bucky, and red-suited Daredevil…hey, wait a second!

  65. Avatar Loki says:

    1. You Know, I’m beginning to think this was a bad idea…
    2. Hey…Guys, I think we put our parachutes on the wrong way.
    3.Batman, one question? How is this going to stop The Deadly Bee Weapon?

  66. Avatar Loki says:

    4. NOW WE SHALL PROVE WHO IS THE REAL PETER PAN!!

  67. [52]Oquies: Don’t worry aren’t we all a little?
    :p

  68. Joke re-cap. (Get it? Captain America? Re-CAP? Shut up…)

    1: Look a little girl on a donkey! See I told you this would work!!!!

    2:I hate it when we hit giant glass windows! Kinda ruins the “2,000 feet ‘falling’ thing”.

    3. When did Batman and the gay looking second rate knock off of the blue beetle join my goth parachuting club!?!!?!

    4. *Dear diary, Today Batman AND Blue Bettles gay looka like held my hand as we fell to our deaths*

    5. Why do you always yell: AHHHH AM GONNA DIE!!!!! When WE hold hands?

    6. Our drug cartel fighting ideas are getting a little silly now fellas, don’tcha think?

  69. Avatar Steve M. says:

    (Music from “Dirty Dancing”)
    ♪♫ Now I’ve had the time of my life…♫♪

    …don’t look at me like that, my wife made me watch it.

  70. 1. Isn’t this heroshima? Waits are those bombers? Is that a glowing clou—

    2. Batman what are you doing here!
    I thought I told you last time….GO f**k yourself!!!
    Batman: But that’s why I’m falling! Super tights wedgee!

    3. Batman and blue beetle?! I f**king hate you guys! I specifically ordered SuperMan, and IronMan!!! Damn you ACME call service!!!!

    4. Don’t cry Marvel BatMan and Blue Beetle knock offs….it will all be over SOON…..

  71. Wait, are those bombers?*
    Curse you keybord!!!

  72. Avatar Dal says:

    1) “Suddenly Reenacting ‘Man Vs Wild’ seems like a bad idea ”
    2) “What the…Wolverine!? This is a DC Comic!”
    3) “Oh no! I left my sheild!”
    4) “Perhaps we should have dressed more covertly…”

  73. Avatar Hunter says:

    All this just for a copy of Black Ops?

  74. Avatar Jeremy says:

    Are you sure this record store we are jumping into has the last Bieber cd my 12 year old girl wants for Christmas?!

  75. Avatar Tim says:

    2) “If cats can land on their feet, so can we!”

    3) “YEAH! Real men wear TIGHTS!”

    4) “I swear, I better get my Klondike Bar after this!”

    5) “Two thousand feet above WHAT? Finish the narration quick!”

  76. Avatar joel says:

    Very nice power rangers reference. it made me lol myself

  77. Avatar joel says:

    1. Vertigo be damned!

    2. Ha! Jokes on you, I’m tired of living!

    3. separately we are weak, but together, we are the unstoppable human Frisbee!

  78. 1. Are you sure you left your car keys up here somewhere?
    2. I know they said ‘black’ fridays were bad, but this is ridiculous!!!!
    3. What the hell? One minute I was offered a happy ending and now THIS happens?!
    4. Is this the right place? We faught a giant cloud monster in the sky last week!
    5. Aren’t you Batman and “trying really hard to be” Blue beetle? Marvel you disapoint me, I wanted the Superman!!
    6 Ok, seriously, we look like a gay goth parachuting club! Why Marvel?! WHY???!!!?!?!

  79. Avatar Tal says:

    Your contests are addictive, Jeff.

    1. On the count of three: SCREAM!
    2. And we will all come together in a better place, a better place than this . . .
    3. Quick–is it a barrel roll or a split S next?
    4. I believe I can fly . . . I believe I can touch the sky . . .
    5. Out of the way, birds! We’re coming through!
    6. . . . And since we have all primary colors moving at great speed, all they’ll see is a white light . . .

  80. Avatar Knitesoul says:

    – “I realized none of us have flying powers!”

    – “I already regret this!”

    – “I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky!”

    – “Who was steering the plane?!”

  81. Avatar Haxxx says:

    1) Swan dive!…To the best night of your life
    2) (Birds in the background) “It’s a brightly colored star”
    3) Capes are not shoots! Even if you did tangle them together

  82. Avatar Rose says:

    “If we can dodge air traffic we can dodge a ball!”

    “Maybe mid-air synchronized swimming pratice wasn’t one of our better ideas…….”

  83. Avatar X-stacy says:

    If you guys don’t stop with the covert insertion jokes, I’m gonna just let go.

  84. Avatar Spayship}{Pik says:

    “Hey guys, I lost the game.”

  85. Avatar Spayship}{Pik says:

    “Hey, I found Waldo!”

  86. Avatar Spayship}{Pik says:

    “Wait, i can’t tell the difference between Hobgoblin’s HQ and the gay bar.”

  87. Avatar Gero says:

    3. So, where are you two headed?

  88. Avatar Gero says:

    4. Oh God, the hat wings do nothing!

  89. Avatar Heh? says:

    “with our powers combind…”

  90. Avatar Kountkill says:

    “Color Blind Superhero Imposters Unite!”

  91. 1. Damn you winged hat! You do nooootttthhinnggg!!!!

    2. I regret nothingggggg!!!!

    3. Last time I got a sea horse! I’m aiming for the 360 this time!

    4. I thought we had to toss a ring? Why are WE the ring?!

    5. *This time I’ll be rid of Batman…ONCE and for all!!!*

    6. I gotta pee! Oh! Never mind…..

    7. Good thing we really “jumped” out of that mess! Get it? Jump?

    8. My mother will be so supprised! I told her I wasn’t going!

    9. No, we aren’t there yet!!!

    10. Sooooo?? Guess who filled YOUR chutes with laundry? I did!

  92. Avatar Conumbra says:

    1. I really, really hope no one has to go to the bathroom again.

    2. Did anyone pack parachutes this time?

    3. Are we there yet?

    4. Okay the next person who hands me an anvil is getting shot.

  93. Avatar X-stacy says:

    Okay, you were right, it was a perfectly good airplane.

  94. Avatar Bael says:

    Everyone remember where we parked!

  95. Avatar Guy Diga says:

    “So… Why Bucky?”

  96. Avatar Guy Diga says:

    correction:

    1)So… why “Bucky”?

    2)Thats the last Time I drink with you Guys!

    3)’Join the Army they said…’

  97. Hey 100th comment! Also I can’t comment again. WTF.
    Oh and….
    Cap: Bucky! You’re dating batman too!?

  98. 1. “Ok,who left the chutes?!”

    2. “Damn you 2nd rate Bue Beetle!!!! I told you, you where
    banned for life!”

    3. “I’ll be damned! There really are avionic people(s) up here! You won the bet Batman…”

    4. “If there’s a Batman imposter here, where’s Batman, you fiend!”

  99. Another joke re-cap.(Lots of bad jokes in a bundle!:))
    (Get it? Captain America? Re-CAP? Shut up…)

    1: Look a little girl on a donkey! See I told you this would work!!!!

    2:I hate it when we hit giant glass windows! Kinda ruins the “2,000 feet ‘falling’ thing”.

    3. When did Batman and the gay looking second rate knock off of the blue beetle join my goth parachuting club!?!!?!

    4. *Dear diary, Today Batman AND Blue Bettles gay looka like held my hand as we fell to our deaths*

    5. Why do you always yell: AHHHH AM GONNA DIE!!!!! When WE hold hands?

    6. Our drug cartel fighting ideas are getting a little silly now fellas, don’tcha think?

    7. Isn’t this heroshima? Wait, are those…bombers? Is that a glowing clou—

    8. Batman what are you doing here!
    I thought I told you last time….GO f**k yourself!!!
    Batman: But that’s why I’m falling! Super tights wedgee!

    9. Batman and blue beetle?! I f**king hate you guys! I specifically ordered SuperMan, and IronMan!!! Damn you ACME call service!!!!

    10. Don’t cry Marvel BatMan and Blue Beetle knock offs….it will all be over SOON…..

    11. Are you sure you left your car keys up here somewhere?

    12. I know they said ‘black’ fridays were bad, but this is ridiculous!!!!

    13. What the hell? One minute I was offered a happy ending and now THIS happens?!

    14. Is this the right place? We faught a giant cloud monster in the sky last week!

    15. Aren’t you Batman and “trying really hard to be” Blue beetle? Marvel you disapoint me, I wanted the Superman!!

    16 Ok, seriously, we look like a gay goth parachuting club! Why Marvel?! WHY???!!!?!?!

    17. Damn you winged hat! You do nooootttthhinnggg!!!!

    18. I regret nothingggggg!!!!

    19. Last time I got a sea horse! I’m aiming for the 360 this time!

    20. I thought we had to toss a ring? Why are WE the ring?!

    21. *This time I’ll be rid of Batman…ONCE and for all!!!*

    22. I gotta pee! Oh! Never mind…..

    23. Good thing we really “jumped” out of that mess! Get it? Jump?

    24. My mother will be so supprised! I told her I wasn’t going!

    25. No, we aren’t there yet!!!

    26. Sooooo?? Guess who filled YOUR chutes with laundry? I did!

    27. “Ok,who left the chutes?!”

    28. “Damn you 2nd rate Bue Beetle!!!! I told you, you where
    banned for life!”

    29. “I’ll be damned! There really are avionic people(s) up here! You won the bet Batman…”

    30. “If there’s a Batman imposter here, where’s Batman, you fiend!”

  100. Avatar Rose says:

    “Okay,so maybe synchronized air-diving wasn’t one of out better ideas.”

    Just thought it made a little more sense then the other one

  101. Avatar Jeremy says:

    Wow this is not the gay speed dating adventure i signed up for!!!

  102. Avatar joel says:

    Damn you Mario!!! A winged hat doesn’t make you fly!!! I suppose hitting a brick with your head doesn’t give you money either.

  103. Avatar Keifer says:

    Quick! Batman/Wolverine hybrid guy! Hand me your anti-gravity spray!

  104. Avatar frankie says:

    “O.K., I’ll tell you one more time. Off Mount Everest, off Superman’s ass, off that plane and nothing but net.”

  105. Avatar frankie says:

    Has anyone done a Hiroshima joke yet? Okay, here it goes:

    “Excellant! It worked! The Whizzer, Speedball and the Spot just blew up Hiroshima! Now it’s our turn!”

  106. Avatar frankie says:

    “Okay, Proto-Wolverine, I’m calling your bluff. Everyone, show your hands.”

  107. Avatar frankie says:

    “Parachutes? Where we’re going, we don’t need any parachutes.”

  108. Avatar frankie says:

    “I know how you feel. But it will only look like we’ve died. In ten, fifteen years, we’ll be back. And this will all be just a bad dream.”

  109. Avatar remy says:

    “Never had to do this **** when Bucky was my sidekick…