Slippers?!

Slippers are great. I wear them every day in the morning with my comfy robe while I sip my coffee and look for super-hero stuff on the Internet to make fun of. But here’s the thing — I don’t go out to fight crime in my pajamas and slippers! Apparently, though, if I were trained in the martial arts I would know how foolish that stance is, because goodness knows Iron Fist can rock the PJs look:

Those are slippers, folks. Yellow slippers. Combined with skin-tight Capri pants, a plunging man-region-length neckline, and the biggest popped collar this side of a frat house, and you’ve got something out of a disco nightmare.

To be fair, Iron Fist came of age in the 1970s, when we as a nation lost our collective fashion minds. My best theory is that an alien culture tried to destroy us by eating our brains through the techno-virus known as “Disco Music”. Kooky conspiracy theory, you say? Well look at THIS evidence, I say!

Now I ask you, what possible explanation could there be for three such horrendous costumes at the same time other than alien mind-virus invasion?

(All character and images ©Marvel Comics.)

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 44 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

15 Responses to Slippers?!

  1. Nick Hentschel

    In fairness, Dazzler actually looks GOOD in it!

  2. No. Dazzler can look good in spite of it, because that’s the power of breasts.

  3. I think the reason Dazzler looked good in that disco costume was that it fitted her disco theme. I really like it, but I thought that with a few updates, it would work in today’s comics as well as it did in 1980s.

  4. A Iron Fist relooking sounds good for a future contest.

  5. I’ve actually always liked Iron Fist’s costume…

  6. Same…Iron Fist looks fine. It’s iconic for him, like Luke Cage’s outfit is…Better than the re-imaginings I’ve seen.

  7. William A. Peterson

    Talk to a real Martial Artist, you’ll get an earful of why you wear Slippers…
    Now, that’s usually in a dojo, not on the streets of New York!
    {Most dojos frown on broken glass and dog poop on their premises…}

  8. Imp — Dead to me.

    Deadeas — Dead to me.

    Kidding. Yes, his outfit IS iconic, which I was thinking about while putting the post together. But then I thought, “Iconic crap is still crap”, and this outfit is pretty crappy. I think actually it’s the combination of Capri pants and ginormous popped collar that does it. I like the mask, the yellow and green, the ribbony belt, and the tatto. It’s the pants and the collar that are just way too much, at least for me.

  9. Mu only problem with the Iron Fist costume is that big-ass collar. Ditch the collar and it would look much better.

  10. Excuse me, MY only problem.

  11. As a martial artist (been in Tae Kwon Do dang near 20 years), I can tell you that unless he has some kind of extra sensory perception, like a spider-sense, then that collar and even the mask to an extent is going to hinder his peripheal vision. Something that is key to keeping an eye on your surroundings.

    And if he is going to be running around on the streets he really should put on some boots or something, and even tone the costume’s brightness down a tad, also… PANTS!

    I’m going to shot for a Iron Fist redesign .. right now! :)

  12. Watson Bradshaw

    when rumors of an Iron Fist with Ray Park(darth maul/Toad) came up about a decade ago I said to myself, That costume will never work. He looks like a luchador who’s cloths shrunk in the dryer.
    The new version of the suit in the comics seems a lot more lethal than anything the PJ’s tried to pull off.

    http://www.marvel.com/universe3zx/images/thumb/1/1a/IronFist_OrsonRandall442.jpg/440px-IronFist_OrsonRandall442.jpg

  13. I never read anything with Iron Fist, so I don’t know anything about who he is or what he can do. I’ve seen him in his costume several times though throughout the years and I’ve always thought that his mask makes it look to me like he has no nose. I’ve always thought it odd. And then, they came out with the Harry Potter movies and I thought “NOW it makes sense! Iron Fist is secretly Voldemort!”