Caption Contest 79: Ride 'em, cowboy!

With many thanks once again to the inestimable "Glenn3", whose "Say What? Pictures" keep me well stocked with Funny, your challenge for this week is to come up with the funniest replacement dialog for the following random comic book panel:

Leave your entry in the comments to this post by next Monday, at which time I'll pick the funniest one, the author of which will receive his or her choice of either any item they like, or a portrait, to be included in the final HeroMachine 3 version.

Good luck everyone!

102 Responses to Caption Contest 79: Ride 'em, cowboy!

  1. “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener!”

  2. “Get along, little doggie!”

  3. “Remind me, exatcly what version of ‘Monopoly’ are we playing?”

  4. “You could get anywhere with a weener big enough.”

  5. I have to say that this one is pretty interesting. Its a wonder what people were thinking when drawing stuff like this.

    Some Entries:

    1) “So do I win by a footlong?”

    2) “Hey, don’t be a brat-wurst.”

    3) “My pony has a first name, its O-S-C-A-R….”

  6. “…I’m the man YOUR man could smell like. New odors of ‘Old Spice’. I’m on a sausage.”

  7. 1.”Hey,check out those buns!”

  8. 2.”Hurry,we need to KETCHUP to the others!”

  9. Obviously, my new improved Viagra has unexpected side effects!

  10. 3.”That’s the last time I buy a hot dog at Churchill Downs!”

  11. Taming the Italian Stallion Sausage is not as easy as it sounds.

  12. Avatar thirdborngr

    “Oh no! FREUD WAS RIGHT!”

  13. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    Where am I going to find enough CONDOMents for this weiner?

  14. 4.”Hurry up,boy.Joey Chestnut is gaining on us!”

  15. 5.”When it says they plump when you cook ’em…”

  16. Avatar GalacticKetchup


    “It was only ketchup!”


    “This isn’t a Dachshund!


  18. 7.”This is one ride I will always RELISH!”

  19. 8.”Hi-Yo,Silver!”

  20. “Wait a second…This isn’t a wiener dog!”

    “Hurray, I am the wiener!”

  21. Avatar PetesWilly

    “Alright, Your the wiener I’m the bun come on over and lets have fun!”

    <3 Brutal Legend

  22. “Ugh, I think I like the Weinermobile better.”

  23. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “Your are what you eat.”

  24. I wanted my girlfriend to ride the sausage….not me.

  25. 1.”Holy Hoofing hot dog Batman.”
    2.”Is this kosher?”
    3.”Mustard the troops, We have to ketchup with the Chili and Cheese bandits.”

  26. horses always have the biggest wieners.

    and I thought stem cells were bad.

    I hope this isn’t going to be a boner for me.

    They should never have commissioned Picasso to create a mechanical bull.

    try my new, four foot, long wiener!

  27. 1) “I like fast food as much as the next person, but THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!”

  28. 4) “I’m so hungry, I can eat a horse!”

    5) “Is this what they mean by ‘Man vs Food’?”

  29. 1) No! Not towards the Mayonnaise!

    2) I’m NOT overcompensating!

    3) I thought mounting him was going to be hard, but the ride is a real pain in the butt.

    4) Yeah ladies, i’m hot to trot.

  30. “Ok Weiner, we only have the burger and the lamb chop to pass and we win the race.”

  31. 1. John Wayne, eat your …uhh…HEART out

    2. There’s a lesson here: Never put ketchup on a hotdog

  32. 9.”This is the worst bachelor party ever!”

  33. 10.”Making balloon animals is alot harder than I thought!”

  34. 11.”Here comes the Galloping Gourmet!”

  35. Avatar Danny Beaty

    Hi gang! There is no limits on the number of entries we can submit, soooooooo…

    1. Hello, and welcome to today’s episode of “The Galloping Gormet”!

    2. Now for something completely different!


    4. You think this horse-dog looks stupid, you should see the centisausage!

    5. If Liza Minelli were here this would be the perfect gay wet dream!

    6. Now I’ve seen EVERYTHING!

    7. A guy riding a giant, galloping hot dog! It’s whacky!

    8. I should have paid extra for the saddle and reigns!

    9. Horse-Dog, the weiner that whinnies! At the refreshment stand!

    10. How do I get myself into these crazy situations?

    11. I told the genie I want to travel and I want all the food I’ll ever need! Guess I should have been more specific!

    12. When I said “I’d like a hot dog to go”, I didn’t mean like THIS!

    13. Where can I find a pot big enough to cook this thing?

    14. Hey everybody, dinner is on me! I mean I’m on dinner! Oh, just get over here and eat the damn thing!

  36. 12.”Uh-oh,I think that Weight Watchers class just spotted us!”

  37. 2) “Run Mister Ed Run!!!”


  39. 1.”jane stop this crazy thing”
    2.”the F.D.A is going to hear about this”
    3.” now thats fast food”

  40. 1. Excuse me sir, could you direct me to the nearest condiment suppository?

    2. I have absolutely no idea what I was smoking back there, but I need more of it.

    3. Hot dog Man, hot dog man! Does whatever a hot dog can!

    4. I’m sorry, but squiggly lines seem to have erupted from my bowels.

  41. Avatar Johnny Grey

    Please, god – if I survive this, I swear I’ll never drop acid again!

  42. “Can I also get a Large Coke?”

    “This is the last time I super-size a meal”

    “Well I shouldn’t complain….AT least it’s not a rat”

  43. Avatar Galactic Ketchup

    Hey-ho Silver, awayyy!

  44. Horsemeat! What makes you think it’s made of horsemeat?

  45. “Would you believe that this has an all natural casing?”

  46. Help! The 1700’s Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile’s got me!

  47. 3) “The Cheeseburgers are coming!! The Cheeseburgers are coming!!”

  48. this is the wurst.

    five dollar, five dollar foot long!

    I found the missing link!

    in HEINZ sight this was a bad idea.

    You think THIS is big, wait till you see MY hot dog.

  49. Well, that’s it. There’s no regaining my dignity now.

  50. 1)my wiener is always on the go!
    2)next up is Johny and his salami.
    3)I go where my wiener takes me!
    4) his name is Oscar Meyer and boy he sure is a wiener!

  51. 1) I really hope this doesn’t end up on the internet…

    2) “Go to Sausage- land” they said “We’ll have fun” they said. Oy…

    3) Well, it sure beats the ‘other’ type of horse weiner.

  52. “This is still better than being a giant turtle. >sigh<"

  53. “Thank god Freud isn’t here.”

  54. Avatar Scorpidius

    And what makes you think I am a sausage jockey? Is it the lilac suit??

  55. 4. “I bet other silver age characters don’t have to put up with stuff like this. Oh wait, it’s the silver age”.

  56. 1 Go the fast food.
    2 We want free slave saussages ! Beware evil cookers.
    3 I ride west to kill the evil saussage beast on my saussage horse.
    4 I’m saussage rider. My H.E.R.O cadrant needs repairement.
    5 fear the wrath of captain Junk Food, the evil genius of the evil cooking.

  57. Avatar Dan Gonzalez

    Man! I am NOT looking forward to telling my therapist about this dream. Why do I have such bad gas?

  58. Jeff, you have to use the one of the kid crying in bed as Superman undresses behind him for the next caption contest. It has to be one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen!

  59. Avatar Jack Zelger

    Stand back! I can’t control my weiner!!

  60. 1)Quick, follow that Bun on wheels!
    2)Take that Lucky Luke!
    3)B’wana Beast really messed up this time!

  61. Would you put that camera away and help me already?!

  62. 3. Fine, fine, we don’t have to circumcise f

  63. woops that f was not supposed to be there

  64. This sounded better in the brochure.

  65. “I have a feeling people would read the story of my life.”

    “Wow, I thought I was a good sales man. How did that guy ever convince me to buy this thing?”

    “Some times it isn’t about getting there its about the journey there.”

    “Ride the bucking sausage for 60 seconds and win $1,000,000!”

    “I would rather be sailing.”

    “I wonder why the F.D.A. put a recall on this?”

    “If you don’t knock it off right now I am going fry you for the eating contest!”

  66. “Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?”

  67. Avatar Montana Player

    1. I haven’t felt this awkward since high school gym class.
    2. I swore to myself I wouldn’t experiment like this after college!
    3. What color kryptonite WAS that anyway?

  68. 1.”Well this is just odd!”

  69. 1) walls sausages, stop horse’ing around!
    2) my wiener is on speed!
    3) i cant control my wiener!
    4) woah! slow down their Pork Stallion…
    5) All this meal needs is some magic mushrooms…
    6) i swear, i am not going to eat you…
    7) Mumma always said fast food is bad for you!
    8) Mash! slow down boi!
    9) i wished for a bigger wiener thats fast and hard… not this!
    10) Im a buisness man, not a cowboy butcher!

  70. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “And people wonder why my kids are picky with their food.”

  71. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “That’s not a Weiner, this, this is a weiner!”

  72. let’s go, back there they treat you like a piece of meat.

    i never thought id touch a wiener in public.

    this is closer to a wiener than ive ever wanted to be

    oh great now the whole town knows i have a huge wiener.

    down boy now everyone cans see you!

  73. 4) “Does this make my ass look big?!”

  74. 1. When you ride a weiner, the radio’s always in your butt.
    2. At least the meat isn’t spinning.
    3. Can you hear me, now?
    4. Please hold, your fax is coming in now. What? Yes, I’m still in first, Mom.

  75. When I said hot dogs gave me the trots, this is not what I meant!

  76. hot digity dog we got em now

  77. This…this isn’t what it looks like.

  78. Like a typical male, I’m always led around by my weiner.

  79. Hi, Billy Mays here with “Wiener away”. do you ever have trouble controlling your wiener? well now there’s an answer.

    Let’s be frank here.

    nothin’ beats horsing around with your wiener!

    Now to insert this into a large set of buns!

    well, at least it’s healthier then the food you get at Mc-Donalds

    this situation seems to have AROUSED my intrest.

  80. What is this? A really blatant metaphor to avert Comics code censorship?

  81. Damn Genii! I said a four-FOOT weiner, not four footed!

  82. Just practicing for when that dreamy Superman comes out of the closet.

  83. I wonder what Luthor was going to do with this genetic experiment anyway?

  84. I thought Comet turned into a centaur.

  85. 1. “Hi, I’m Jimmy Olsen, and I endorse Horseages, the Walking Sausages!”

    2. Never tell Myxlplyx you wish you were hung like a horse.

  86. Wonder why baby unicorns use their hooves to break out of their shells instead of their horns?!

  87. This is the third horse I’ve saved from the glue factory with this disguise!

  88. Thanks, Professor Potter! This should satisfy that giant turtle woman!

  89. Got a trash bag? I don’t want to get Rita Farr pregnant!

  90. Wonder Woman has some strange pets!

  91. Chicks dig guys with big wieners.

  92. And the ladies say, “Save a horse, ride a hot dog!”

  93. 13.”Fear not,citizens! GASSY LAD and WIENER HORSE will save the day!”

  94. “This is easily the third strangest thing to happen to me today.”

  95. “Oscar Mayer has a way
    Of recombining DNA”

  96. Fast food.

  97. 1) Hot Dog Hot Dog Hot Diggity Dog!!

    2) Grill em’ Horsey!!

    3) Feel The Burn!!

    4) Be the Weiner Of This Race!!

  98. My apologies, miss. I appears my wiener is attracted to you.

  99. My apologies, miss. It appears my wiener is attracted to you.

  100. Avatar PsyckoSama

    So would any of you fine, fine ladies like to take a sausage ride?

    I haven’t had this much trouble with a disobedient wiener since middle school!

  101. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer

    1) ALL RIGHT! All right. Yes, I’m gay.
    2) This is not what I meant by “maybe I should get into racing dogs!”
    3)This is the wurst experience of my life!

  102. you think this is weird? look at that stuff coming out my ass!