Caption Contest 78

Your greatest challenge with this week's Caption Contest will not be coming up with funny replacement dialog for the following panel, it will be keeping your entry clear of the censors:

As always, here's how the contest works:

  • Write a funny bit of replacement dialog for the blank balloon and leave it as a comment to this post;
  • Make sure you keep it clean, appropriate for inclusion on a late-night broadcast television show only, you know, actually funny;
  • Next Monday morning I will choose the ones I think are funniest and open a poll for the community to vote for the overall winner.

No limit on entries this week, so knock yourselves out. Not like the guy in the panel gets knocked out, because that's a horrible way to go, but ... well. You know what I mean.

Good luck everyone! Oh, and of course, the winner will receive their choice of any item they like, or a portrait, either of which will be included in the final HeroMachine 3 release.

135 Responses to Caption Contest 78

  1. 1. Feel the wrath of Captain Viagra!

    2. Donkey Punch Powers…ACTIVATE!

  2. 1. Go go gadget… fist?

  3. “Go go gadget crotch!”

  4. 2. I’m pretty sure this is where boxing gloves go.

  5. “Alright DP, they’re ready for you to… well, you know.”

  6. WOW !! Did you See her ? Oh! .. Umm Sorry Guys

  7. “WOW, I’m sure glad to see you officers!”

  8. 1. “Sorry. It’s a medical condition”

    2. “Comics Code Authority, eat your heart out!”

    3. “You should see what the backside can do!”

    4. “This is painful for me too you know!”

    5. “Err…This wasn’t in my original costume design”.

  9. 1. Ha! And she said she wasn’t blown away from my preformance.
    3. You punch my nuts; My nuts punch back.
    4. Hey, Plaster-faces! What’re you staring at you freaks?
    5. Think of Platinum Bomb! Think of Platinum Bomb! Think of Platinum Bomb!

  10. Nuts to you, suckers!

  11. “Behold the first chastity belt for men!”

  12. 1. Super T-Bag, Initiate!

  13. 1. In soviet Russia, nuts hit you.

  14. Is this as good for you as it is for me?

  15. “Fear the awesomeness of Captain Crotchshot!!!

  16. A quick wack to the face should keep you away!

    Say hello to my little friends!

  17. What? You don’t like boom boom?

  18. “Who else laughed at me in the shower back in high school?”

  19. “Let’s see the NFL ban my touchdown celebration!”

  20. “VIVA VIAGRA!”

  21. “I got bored with Whack-a-Mole.”

  22. 1. Rock out with my knock out.

  23. 1. “Wonder Twin” powers activate.
    2. “No, I’m not happy to see you.”
    3. “Schwing!”

  24. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “Here’s the old ‘One, Two Punch’.”

    “Yes, there’s something in my pocket but I am still glad to see you”.

    “So, its not an appropriate display in front of my Mommy?”

    “You can knock a good man down but he’ll always get back up.”

    “This gives the song ‘Burn Baby Burn’ all new meanings”.

    “Keep it safe kids”.

  25. 1:kneel down be for the might of Hard knock

    2: maybe ill fight Apollo maybe i wont . yo Andree-an

    3: behold the new style of punch line kneel in fear

  26. 1. “There’s no use blockin’ it when I’m cockin’ it!”

    2. “It might be ribbed for her pleasure, but it’s ribbed for your pain!”

    3. “I ain’t firing blanks this time!”

  27. Say cheese, the little bird will beat you.

  28. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “you don’t want to see what these other buttons do.”

  29. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “My Mummy’s will be so proud.”

  30. 3. It’s been eight hours. I think I need to call a doctor.

  31. – Double K.O.!!!

    – Whoops, wrong medicine…

    – Well that got me excited.

  32. 1) You two definitely got a rise out of me!
    2) Suck it!
    3) Rock’m Sock’m Jock strap!
    4) Why can’t I find a girlfriend again?
    5) Who knew you could get such great crime fighting tech at the local porn shop?
    6) Ah Nuts!
    7) Score!
    8) Beat it, just beat it, don’t you make me repeat it!
    9) Whoa, I have a second one?
    10) Two inches? I’ll show you two inches!

  33. 1. What’s the Capitol of Thailand?… BANGKOK!
    2. …and that Billy, is how you were born.

  34. 1.Pelvic Thrust!!

  35. 2.That’s not big, THIS is big!

  36. 3. No! I was surrendering, but it’s the morning!

  37. 6. “Sorry! I was thinking about Megan Fox again!”

    7. “6 Million Dollar Man, Inspector Gadget, eat your heart out!”

    8. “You’re uh…You’re not gonna tell anyone else about this are you?”

  38. Avatar WhiteOleander90

    It’s not polite to stare!

  39. 4. I bring a new meaning to the phrase…Cock Punch!

  40. 1.BONER!
    2.And that’s why I use Extensis!
    3. Did you see the boob’s on her? oh, uh, oops?
    4.Hey mom! dad! look what I can do!

  41. “Wow! That plastic surgeon is amazing!”

    “Never felt better.”

  42. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “There I go again, thinking with two heads”.

  43. Avatar Riddlerclue

    I know these won’t get past the censor but they need to be said…

    1. What a c*ck blcoker!


    2. THIS is your idea of a threesome.

    I know I’m a cheater. But I mean….C’mon!

  44. 1. Glove’man does it again! Ooorah
    2. POP goes the weesel
    3. Fist of the extended groin – activate
    4. i think im gonna c…um
    5. What do you get with Gadget, Rocky and Viagra?
    6. Oi, stop watching you perverts!

  45. 1) Wonder Crotch ACTIVATE!
    2) I’d like to see wonderwoman handle THIS!
    3) Woops! I should DEFINATLY go out after my morning wood goes down next time!
    4) Well, what’ya know? A shot FROM below the belt doesn’t hurt at all!
    5) I’m ALWAYS happ to see you, cops!

  46. “I am Captain Bow-Chick-A-Wow-Wow!!!”

  47. “This is the best Swiss Army knife EVER!”

  48. “I’ve created the most effective birth control EVER!”

    “I need an adult! I need an adult!”

    “… and after you remove those face wraps, we move on to the third phase of the treatment which you see here”

  49. 1. I dunno guys. Your mothers certainly seemed to like it

  50. 2. That’s what you get for causing a giant oil spill “DP”!

  51. 6) No, this ISN’T a gun in my pocket, nor am I happy to see you. For this, my friend, are two boxing gloves on my belt!

  52. 1) Look Ma, no hands!

    2) Put up your dukes and fight me like real men.

    3) And to think…. the JLA turned me down.

    4) Why yes there’s a glove in my pocket but I am glad to see you.

    5) Meet the long are of the law.

    6) He sticks the landing and the crowd goes wild! AAAAAAHHH

  53. 5) Meet the long arm of the law

  54. “Look,I switched from briefs to BOXERS!”

  55. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “Well, I surrender, but sometimes its just got a mind of its own.”

  56. “I’ve giving the term Crotch Rocket a whole new meaning!”

  57. I’m sorry but I can’t take part in this. I can only think of one line and it violates your censorship rule. ^^;

    Mr. Q

  58. Avatar Aeternus606


  59. Dude, I can beat them off with both fists!

  60. 1. So this is how Green Arrow does it!

    2. Sock it to you!

    3. Excuse me while I unload my weapon of mass destruction.

    4. Run, bandage men, I have saved your civilization from utter destruction!

    5. Boot to the FACE!

  61. Ha! Cold-cocked ya!

  62. “o.k. mummy henchmen, now if you can just reload my fist-o-matics, I’ll see if I can blast away some of this rubble so we can make a clean getaway.”

  63. “The two hit wonder strikes again!”

  64. Avatar LargeFormat

    ‘And if you think THIS looks funny, you should watch me weightlift!’

  65. 1 – Don’t whine, you know you liked it.
    2 – guess where my dick is
    3 – these french mechanics there weird…

  66. Is that a boxing glove or am I happy to see you?

  67. Avatar SlimJimGrimm

    1.Can you say “BOOOOING”?!
    2.Ok, maybe I should’ve touched gloves with them a tiny bit softer.
    3.Two for one!
    4.Ahhh, good morning everyone. Oh! Uhh…my bad.
    5.Sooo…I guess the boxing gloves attached to my crotch wasn’t the smartest thing to do.

  68. -Talk about a wang to the head

  69. how do you like the stiff competition?

    hows this for a junk shot?

    is anyone else as confused as i am?

  70. 3. Everybody buy the NEWEST Trojan —the Trojan Fist! Trojan Fists—“Fits like a glove, hits like a glove!”

  71. …too much?

  72. Remember kids, support your local strip clubs

    I always rise to the occasion

  73. That was my rifle, this is my gun, that was killing, this is for fun!

  74. ..for killing..rather

  75. Two for flinching!

  76. 7) Man.. I’m soo tired! Morning, cops… Oops…

  77. 2. My other codpiece is a gun.

    3. Ladies pay for this and you’re getting it for free.

    4. This is what I call the money shot.

    5. What was that you said about “over compensating” ?

    6. Don’t ever mention high school!

    7. And boom goes to the dynamite.

  78. Avatar LargeFormat

    ‘I believe it was Fellini who once said…CROTCHALLINI!’

  79. You don’t give the love unless you wear the glove.

  80. 1) Look ma, no hands!
    2) THIS is my hands free headset!
    3) Don’t fight guys, I got enough to go around!

  81. 1) Double your pleasure, double your fun!
    2) Let’s see who’s emasculated now!
    3) YAY! I can finally go back to the lucrative porn business!
    4) Guaranteed to bring her pleasure. Even IF she’s a dead mummy!

  82. Avatar Me, Myself & I

    “Two cops trying to arrest me… inconvenient.
    Two dead Mummies watching along… kinda creepy.
    The look on your faces… priceless!”

  83. 1. It’s a boxing glove in my pants AND I’m happy to see you!
    2. Look mummy, no hands!

  84. “Even thinking about baseball cannot stop… Erector!”

  85. Avatar BangYourHead

    “In soviet Russia, crotch punches you!”
    “I know no law! I am… crotch punch!”

  86. “With his Alcoholic beverages and E.D. medication combined, he is… ROCK’EM-SOCK’EM!”

    “Why is Bob so happy?”

    “Ha! With this rubber suit, I’m immune to cold showers!”

    “That’s what I call a SUCKer punch!”

  87. 1. “Now I know how Nightcrawler feels!”

    2. “It’s fun to stay at the Y…MCA!”

  88. “Its only a prosthetic.”

  89. 1.”Ron Jeremy eat your heart out!”

    2.”Behold the power of Iron Crotch.”

    3.”To Infinity and Beyond!”

  90. 1. Go, go, Gadget Penis!
    2. Wonder Penis powers activate!
    3. Ron Jeremy, eat your heart out!
    4. Feel the power of my Crimson Crotch Attack!

  91. Avatar MartianBlue

    That is the funniest and yet most disturbing thing I think I’ve ever seen. lol. The stretching pose, just fits perfectly with the dual extension.
    Obviously another failed doublement commercial

    Ok time for some entrants

    1. GYRO Thhrrrust
    2. Yay! I did it mummy!
    3. Oops! I did it again!
    4. Oh yeah! That!? That just happened.
    5. Lorena! I will have my revenge!!!

    *five is lorena bobbit reference*

  92. Avatar MartianBlue

    6. It also works great against catholic priests!

  93. Avatar MartianBlue

    7. Well, that about WRAPS things up.

  94. “Punch buggy red, punch buggy blue. A fire’s a’coming, and mummies are too.”

  95. This is why you should always use “protection!!!”

  96. 4.what? Of course it’s a giant phallic symbol. What did you think it is?

  97. 5.Insert Innuendo Here!

  98. “Take THAT, Comics Code Authority!”
    (could be considered a repeat of TopHat’s entry, so eh…)

  99. Ha! Beat that Spiderman. My web shooters are better and in a more accurate place!!

  100. Hey, they don’t call ’em “Boxers” for nothing.

  101. – “Now its hands free!”

    – “No KA-POW! this time?”

    – “It also slices & dices.”

  102. Ka-pow baby

  103. @Jeff: What twisted, bizarre comic is this from? When you post the winner, please include a picture with the original caption.

    I have no entries because I’m still shivering with the willies (ha!).

  104. Atomic Punk: Hephaestian says it’s from Doom Patrol, but she no longer has the original unblanked panel.

  105. 6.PENIS JOKE!

  106. Avatar UesugiWarrior

    1. TKO From Below!!
    2. There’s really something to be said for goin’ off half cocked!!
    3. My hands free kit is really something!!

  107. “My bad I was try to activate my jet boots.”

  108. 4. “You’ll never know what you’ll find at Tony Stark’s yardsale!”

    5. “Goonies never say die!”
    *Warning: Dated reference about “Data” and the Goonies, but you 80’s kids will get it.

    6. “These balls pack a lot of punch!”

  109. 8) Anyone got a tape measure? It seems longer than before.

  110. Avatar UesugiWarrior

    Another one: POW! Right in your kissers!!

  111. Avatar UesugiWarrior

    And Again: That’s what I call a stiff straight!!

  112. 7.Apply directly to the forehead!

  113. “I, Disgusto, had a hand for everything!”

  114. “I, Disgusto, have a hand for everything!”

  115. Avatar Galactic Ketchup

    My wife always said I packed a punch in the bedroom!

  116. WOOT!! Nutshot! Oh, well…

  117. Avatar Alexander G.

    1) POW! right in the kisser
    2) yes I am excited to see you

  118. Avatar dementedtheclown

    1)Boom Head Shot
    2)Boom Money Shot

  119. “Penis-Punch!”

  120. “Look Ma! No hands!”

  121. 1) ULTIMATE T-BAG!!!!!!
    2) Falcon PUNCH!!11

  122. 1. GO-go gadget CROTCH GLOVE!
    2. ♪I’m so excited…and I just can’t hide it!♪
    3. Simon says: ON YOUR KNEES!!!
    4. Say, “AHHHH!”
    5. Your PRIDE is NO MORE!!!
    6. You’ve got me by the [i]what[/i]?

  123. 7. GIGGITY!!! (Quagmire reference)
    8. “These aren’t guns, nor am I happy to see you!”

  124. 1. “No, they AREN’T guns and I most certainly am NOT happy to see you!”
    2. “DP for the WIN!”
    3. Your pride is MINE!!!

  125. Marvel may have Dr Strabge, but UGO has Dr Stranger Danger!

  126. 1. look ma no hands
    2. FAME! im gonna live forever, your gonna remember my name
    3. yeah yeah i read the instruction manual…my bad
    4. its the eye of the tiger la la la
    5. mom dad i can explain
    6. look out world here i come
    7. spirit fingers!
    8. did i do that
    9. its from e-bay what could go wrong?
    10. everybody do the saftey dance

  127. safety dance

  128. “DOUBLE TAP!!!”

  129. 1) 2 KO!!!

    2) Feel the pow-ah of my PUNCH!!

    3) Testing 1…2…pwned!!

    4) My invention blew you 2 away!!

    5) Sideway slammer!!

    6) Neck to Neck battle!!!

  130. 8) My lending hand may get me banned!!

  131. “Remember kids! Blunt force always trumps roofies!”

  132. “No means NO!”

  133. Here I come