Caption Contest 78

Your greatest challenge with this week's Caption Contest will not be coming up with funny replacement dialog for the following panel, it will be keeping your entry clear of the censors:

As always, here's how the contest works:

  • Write a funny bit of replacement dialog for the blank balloon and leave it as a comment to this post;
  • Make sure you keep it clean, appropriate for inclusion on a late-night broadcast television show only, you know, actually funny;
  • Next Monday morning I will choose the ones I think are funniest and open a poll for the community to vote for the overall winner.

No limit on entries this week, so knock yourselves out. Not like the guy in the panel gets knocked out, because that's a horrible way to go, but ... well. You know what I mean.

Good luck everyone! Oh, and of course, the winner will receive their choice of any item they like, or a portrait, either of which will be included in the final HeroMachine 3 release.

135 Responses to Caption Contest 78

  1. Gero says:

    1. Feel the wrath of Captain Viagra!

    2. Donkey Punch Powers…ACTIVATE!

  2. Jake says:

    1. Go go gadget… fist?

  3. MLS says:

    “Go go gadget crotch!”

  4. Jake says:

    2. I’m pretty sure this is where boxing gloves go.

  5. MLS says:

    “Alright DP, they’re ready for you to… well, you know.”

  6. Kaldath says:

    WOW !! Did you See her ? Oh! .. Umm Sorry Guys

  7. Tim says:

    “WOW, I’m sure glad to see you officers!”

  8. TopHat says:

    1. “Sorry. It’s a medical condition”

    2. “Comics Code Authority, eat your heart out!”

    3. “You should see what the backside can do!”

    4. “This is painful for me too you know!”

    5. “Err…This wasn’t in my original costume design”.

  9. thejay says:

    1. Ha! And she said she wasn’t blown away from my preformance.
    3. You punch my nuts; My nuts punch back.
    4. Hey, Plaster-faces! What’re you staring at you freaks?
    5. Think of Platinum Bomb! Think of Platinum Bomb! Think of Platinum Bomb!

  10. Cormac says:

    Nuts to you, suckers!

  11. Tim says:

    “Behold the first chastity belt for men!”

  12. Connor S. says:

    1. Super T-Bag, Initiate!

  13. Vampyrist says:

    1. In soviet Russia, nuts hit you.

  14. Trav says:

    Is this as good for you as it is for me?

  15. Gargoyle323 says:

    “Fear the awesomeness of Captain Crotchshot!!!

  16. Trav says:

    A quick wack to the face should keep you away!

    Say hello to my little friends!

  17. TL says:

    What? You don’t like boom boom?

  18. Gargoyle323 says:

    “Who else laughed at me in the shower back in high school?”

  19. Gargoyle323 says:

    “Let’s see the NFL ban my touchdown celebration!”

  20. Gargoyle323 says:


  21. Gargoyle323 says:

    “I got bored with Whack-a-Mole.”

  22. DJ says:

    1. Rock out with my knock out.

  23. NGpm says:

    1. “Wonder Twin” powers activate.
    2. “No, I’m not happy to see you.”
    3. “Schwing!”

  24. Me, Myself & I says:

    “Here’s the old ‘One, Two Punch’.”

    “Yes, there’s something in my pocket but I am still glad to see you”.

    “So, its not an appropriate display in front of my Mommy?”

    “You can knock a good man down but he’ll always get back up.”

    “This gives the song ‘Burn Baby Burn’ all new meanings”.

    “Keep it safe kids”.

  25. coyote says:

    1:kneel down be for the might of Hard knock

    2: maybe ill fight Apollo maybe i wont . yo Andree-an

    3: behold the new style of punch line kneel in fear

  26. Joshua says:

    1. “There’s no use blockin’ it when I’m cockin’ it!”

    2. “It might be ribbed for her pleasure, but it’s ribbed for your pain!”

    3. “I ain’t firing blanks this time!”

  27. Fabien says:

    Say cheese, the little bird will beat you.

  28. Me, Myself & I says:

    “you don’t want to see what these other buttons do.”

  29. Me, Myself & I says:

    “My Mummy’s will be so proud.”

  30. Jake says:

    3. It’s been eight hours. I think I need to call a doctor.

  31. Knitesoul says:

    – Double K.O.!!!

    – Whoops, wrong medicine…

    – Well that got me excited.

  32. Jason says:

    1) You two definitely got a rise out of me!
    2) Suck it!
    3) Rock’m Sock’m Jock strap!
    4) Why can’t I find a girlfriend again?
    5) Who knew you could get such great crime fighting tech at the local porn shop?
    6) Ah Nuts!
    7) Score!
    8) Beat it, just beat it, don’t you make me repeat it!
    9) Whoa, I have a second one?
    10) Two inches? I’ll show you two inches!

  33. Matt says:

    1. What’s the Capitol of Thailand?… BANGKOK!
    2. …and that Billy, is how you were born.

  34. Loki says:

    1.Pelvic Thrust!!

  35. Loki says:

    2.That’s not big, THIS is big!

  36. Loki says:

    3. No! I was surrendering, but it’s the morning!

  37. TopHat says:

    6. “Sorry! I was thinking about Megan Fox again!”

    7. “6 Million Dollar Man, Inspector Gadget, eat your heart out!”

    8. “You’re uh…You’re not gonna tell anyone else about this are you?”

  38. WhiteOleander90 says:

    It’s not polite to stare!

  39. Loki says:

    4. I bring a new meaning to the phrase…Cock Punch!

  40. Taylor says:

    2.And that’s why I use Extensis!
    3. Did you see the boob’s on her? oh, uh, oops?
    4.Hey mom! dad! look what I can do!

  41. Oquies says:

    “Wow! That plastic surgeon is amazing!”

    “Never felt better.”

  42. Me, Myself & I says:

    “There I go again, thinking with two heads”.

  43. Riddlerclue says:

    I know these won’t get past the censor but they need to be said…

    1. What a c*ck blcoker!


    2. THIS is your idea of a threesome.

    I know I’m a cheater. But I mean….C’mon!

  44. Decolda says:

    1. Glove’man does it again! Ooorah
    2. POP goes the weesel
    3. Fist of the extended groin – activate
    4. i think im gonna c…um
    5. What do you get with Gadget, Rocky and Viagra?
    6. Oi, stop watching you perverts!

  45. Fyzza says:

    1) Wonder Crotch ACTIVATE!
    2) I’d like to see wonderwoman handle THIS!
    3) Woops! I should DEFINATLY go out after my morning wood goes down next time!
    4) Well, what’ya know? A shot FROM below the belt doesn’t hurt at all!
    5) I’m ALWAYS happ to see you, cops!

  46. Gargoyle323 says:

    “I am Captain Bow-Chick-A-Wow-Wow!!!”

  47. Gargoyle323 says:

    “This is the best Swiss Army knife EVER!”

  48. DiCicatriz says:

    “I’ve created the most effective birth control EVER!”

    “I need an adult! I need an adult!”

    “… and after you remove those face wraps, we move on to the third phase of the treatment which you see here”

  49. remy says:

    1. I dunno guys. Your mothers certainly seemed to like it

  50. remy says:

    2. That’s what you get for causing a giant oil spill “DP”!

  51. Fyzza says:

    6) No, this ISN’T a gun in my pocket, nor am I happy to see you. For this, my friend, are two boxing gloves on my belt!

  52. Frank C says:

    1) Look Ma, no hands!

    2) Put up your dukes and fight me like real men.

    3) And to think…. the JLA turned me down.

    4) Why yes there’s a glove in my pocket but I am glad to see you.

    5) Meet the long are of the law.

    6) He sticks the landing and the crowd goes wild! AAAAAAHHH

  53. Frank C says:

    5) Meet the long arm of the law

  54. Gargoyle323 says:

    “Look,I switched from briefs to BOXERS!”

  55. Me, Myself & I says:

    “Well, I surrender, but sometimes its just got a mind of its own.”

  56. Deadeas says:

    “I’ve giving the term Crotch Rocket a whole new meaning!”

  57. Mr. Q says:

    I’m sorry but I can’t take part in this. I can only think of one line and it violates your censorship rule. ^^;

    Mr. Q

  58. Aeternus606 says:


  59. Myro says:

    Dude, I can beat them off with both fists!

  60. Mike says:

    1. So this is how Green Arrow does it!

    2. Sock it to you!

    3. Excuse me while I unload my weapon of mass destruction.

    4. Run, bandage men, I have saved your civilization from utter destruction!

    5. Boot to the FACE!

  61. Rick says:

    Ha! Cold-cocked ya!

  62. Frankie says:

    “o.k. mummy henchmen, now if you can just reload my fist-o-matics, I’ll see if I can blast away some of this rubble so we can make a clean getaway.”

  63. Frankie says:

    “The two hit wonder strikes again!”

  64. LargeFormat says:

    ‘And if you think THIS looks funny, you should watch me weightlift!’

  65. Phil-H says:

    1 – Don’t whine, you know you liked it.
    2 – guess where my dick is
    3 – these french mechanics there weird…

  66. MScat says:

    Is that a boxing glove or am I happy to see you?

  67. SlimJimGrimm says:

    1.Can you say “BOOOOING”?!
    2.Ok, maybe I should’ve touched gloves with them a tiny bit softer.
    3.Two for one!
    4.Ahhh, good morning everyone. Oh! Uhh…my bad.
    5.Sooo…I guess the boxing gloves attached to my crotch wasn’t the smartest thing to do.

  68. joel says:

    -Talk about a wang to the head

  69. joel says:

    how do you like the stiff competition?

    hows this for a junk shot?

    is anyone else as confused as i am?

  70. remy says:

    3. Everybody buy the NEWEST Trojan —the Trojan Fist! Trojan Fists—“Fits like a glove, hits like a glove!”

  71. X-stacy says:

    …too much?

  72. joel says:

    Remember kids, support your local strip clubs

    I always rise to the occasion

  73. Tim K. says:

    That was my rifle, this is my gun, that was killing, this is for fun!

  74. Tim K. says:

    ..for killing..rather

  75. X-stacy says:

    Two for flinching!

  76. Fyzza says:

    7) Man.. I’m soo tired! Morning, cops… Oops…

  77. DJ says:

    2. My other codpiece is a gun.

    3. Ladies pay for this and you’re getting it for free.

    4. This is what I call the money shot.

    5. What was that you said about “over compensating” ?

    6. Don’t ever mention high school!

    7. And boom goes to the dynamite.

  78. LargeFormat says:

    ‘I believe it was Fellini who once said…CROTCHALLINI!’

  79. John D says:

    You don’t give the love unless you wear the glove.

  80. knighthawk says:

    1) Look ma, no hands!
    2) THIS is my hands free headset!
    3) Don’t fight guys, I got enough to go around!

  81. Worf says:

    1) Double your pleasure, double your fun!
    2) Let’s see who’s emasculated now!
    3) YAY! I can finally go back to the lucrative porn business!
    4) Guaranteed to bring her pleasure. Even IF she’s a dead mummy!

  82. Me, Myself & I says:

    “Two cops trying to arrest me… inconvenient.
    Two dead Mummies watching along… kinda creepy.
    The look on your faces… priceless!”

  83. Gregg says:

    1. It’s a boxing glove in my pants AND I’m happy to see you!
    2. Look mummy, no hands!

  84. kingmonkey says:

    “Even thinking about baseball cannot stop… Erector!”

  85. BangYourHead says:

    “In soviet Russia, crotch punches you!”
    “I know no law! I am… crotch punch!”

  86. ChrisN. says:

    “With his Alcoholic beverages and E.D. medication combined, he is… ROCK’EM-SOCK’EM!”

    “Why is Bob so happy?”

    “Ha! With this rubber suit, I’m immune to cold showers!”

    “That’s what I call a SUCKer punch!”

  87. BenK22 says:

    1. “Now I know how Nightcrawler feels!”

    2. “It’s fun to stay at the Y…MCA!”

  88. Oquies says:

    “Its only a prosthetic.”

  89. redvector says:

    1.”Ron Jeremy eat your heart out!”

    2.”Behold the power of Iron Crotch.”

    3.”To Infinity and Beyond!”

  90. 1. Go, go, Gadget Penis!
    2. Wonder Penis powers activate!
    3. Ron Jeremy, eat your heart out!
    4. Feel the power of my Crimson Crotch Attack!

  91. MartianBlue says:

    That is the funniest and yet most disturbing thing I think I’ve ever seen. lol. The stretching pose, just fits perfectly with the dual extension.
    Obviously another failed doublement commercial

    Ok time for some entrants

    1. GYRO Thhrrrust
    2. Yay! I did it mummy!
    3. Oops! I did it again!
    4. Oh yeah! That!? That just happened.
    5. Lorena! I will have my revenge!!!

    *five is lorena bobbit reference*

  92. MartianBlue says:

    6. It also works great against catholic priests!

  93. MartianBlue says:

    7. Well, that about WRAPS things up.

  94. Frankie says:

    “Punch buggy red, punch buggy blue. A fire’s a’coming, and mummies are too.”

  95. connor says:

    This is why you should always use “protection!!!”

  96. Loki says:

    4.what? Of course it’s a giant phallic symbol. What did you think it is?

  97. Loki says:

    5.Insert Innuendo Here!

  98. Metaceryn says:

    “Take THAT, Comics Code Authority!”
    (could be considered a repeat of TopHat’s entry, so eh…)

  99. Aaron says:

    Ha! Beat that Spiderman. My web shooters are better and in a more accurate place!!

  100. Sivad says:

    Hey, they don’t call ’em “Boxers” for nothing.

  101. Knitesoul says:

    – “Now its hands free!”

    – “No KA-POW! this time?”

    – “It also slices & dices.”

  102. Hazza says:

    Ka-pow baby

  103. @Jeff: What twisted, bizarre comic is this from? When you post the winner, please include a picture with the original caption.

    I have no entries because I’m still shivering with the willies (ha!).

  104. X-stacy says:

    Atomic Punk: Hephaestian says it’s from Doom Patrol, but she no longer has the original unblanked panel.

  105. Loki says:


  106. UesugiWarrior says:

    1. TKO From Below!!
    2. There’s really something to be said for goin’ off half cocked!!
    3. My hands free kit is really something!!

  107. redvector says:

    “My bad I was try to activate my jet boots.”

  108. Joshua says:

    4. “You’ll never know what you’ll find at Tony Stark’s yardsale!”

    5. “Goonies never say die!”
    *Warning: Dated reference about “Data” and the Goonies, but you 80’s kids will get it.

    6. “These balls pack a lot of punch!”

  109. Fyzza says:

    8) Anyone got a tape measure? It seems longer than before.

  110. UesugiWarrior says:

    Another one: POW! Right in your kissers!!

  111. UesugiWarrior says:

    And Again: That’s what I call a stiff straight!!

  112. Fyzza says:


  113. Loki says:

    7.Apply directly to the forehead!

  114. Larry says:

    “I, Disgusto, had a hand for everything!”

  115. Larry says:

    “I, Disgusto, have a hand for everything!”

  116. Galactic Ketchup says:

    My wife always said I packed a punch in the bedroom!

  117. John says:

    WOOT!! Nutshot! Oh, well…

  118. Alexander G. says:

    1) POW! right in the kisser
    2) yes I am excited to see you

  119. dementedtheclown says:

    1)Boom Head Shot
    2)Boom Money Shot

  120. Jacob346 says:


  121. BNE says:

    “Look Ma! No hands!”

  122. Anthony says:

    1) ULTIMATE T-BAG!!!!!!
    2) Falcon PUNCH!!11

  123. song_bird says:

    1. GO-go gadget CROTCH GLOVE!
    2. ♪I’m so excited…and I just can’t hide it!♪
    3. Simon says: ON YOUR KNEES!!!
    4. Say, “AHHHH!”
    5. Your PRIDE is NO MORE!!!
    6. You’ve got me by the [i]what[/i]?

  124. song_bird says:

    7. GIGGITY!!! (Quagmire reference)
    8. “These aren’t guns, nor am I happy to see you!”

  125. songbird says:

    1. “No, they AREN’T guns and I most certainly am NOT happy to see you!”
    2. “DP for the WIN!”
    3. Your pride is MINE!!!

  126. joel says:

    Marvel may have Dr Strabge, but UGO has Dr Stranger Danger!

  127. rancid says:

    1. look ma no hands
    2. FAME! im gonna live forever, your gonna remember my name
    3. yeah yeah i read the instruction manual…my bad
    4. its the eye of the tiger la la la
    5. mom dad i can explain
    6. look out world here i come
    7. spirit fingers!
    8. did i do that
    9. its from e-bay what could go wrong?
    10. everybody do the saftey dance

  128. rancid says:

    safety dance

  129. Tim says:

    “DOUBLE TAP!!!”

  130. Grip says:

    1) 2 KO!!!

    2) Feel the pow-ah of my PUNCH!!

    3) Testing 1…2…pwned!!

    4) My invention blew you 2 away!!

    5) Sideway slammer!!

    6) Neck to Neck battle!!!

  131. Grip says:

    8) My lending hand may get me banned!!

  132. Grip says:


  133. Tim says:

    “Remember kids! Blunt force always trumps roofies!”

  134. Al says:

    “No means NO!”

  135. Bloodwarp95 says:

    Here I come