Prickly design decisions

While the animal kingdom contains many fearsome models upon which a super-powered individual can base their identity -- the mighty lion, the speedy leopard, the swift-striking falcon -- you have to be very careful which you actually choose. After all, who wants to go around known as The Slug or The Sloth or ... um, the Porcupine?

Porcupines (motto, "Third largest rodent!") are slow and completely non-aggressive, which isn't ideal for a super villain. On the other hand, they do have sharp pointy bits, which puts them ahead of many other potential candidates. So I'll give him a pass on the inspiration (barely). And they did give him the ability to fire his quills, along with a host of other powered-armor options. So he wasn't a wuss or anything.

However.

If you're going to base yourself on a barely-qualified animal, it's imperative that you not walk around looking as if your outfit were woven from wicker.

I've owned wicker furniture. I have sat upon wicker furniture. And I have seen wicker furniture utterly destroyed at the paws of a ravenous puppy. Not a big puppy either, but a tiny little furball.

And if you do slip up and find yourself in a costume that resembles wicker, based on an animal that's more or less a highly irritated ground sloth, by all that's holy please do not -- repeat, do NOT -- also weave yourself a wicker hairpiece that looks like a refugee from a bad "Little Lord Fauntleroy" production.

On the other hand, from the page in question he appears to be a flatulent wicker-woven prickly ground sloth, which I admit is pretty intriguing.

(Image and character ©Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.)

15 Responses to Prickly design decisions

  1. But Marvel DOES have a character named The Slug. But nevermind him, let’s discuss The Mole Man!

  2. Porcupines have poison gas spraying quills now?

    I question the grammar of the caption “… each of his quills shoots a different weapon.” That sounds counterproductive, doesn’t it?

  3. I think super powers based on a porcupine would work…however not every quill would have its own weapon and I would never have an out fit that looked like that. The thing I find most ridiculous with this one is that hair piece.

  4. Me, Myself & I

    Not exactly the sort of thing you could escape descritely in is it. I don’t care how well designed the suit is. All the police would have to do is follow the trail of laughter back to the evil doers home and arrest him when he gets out of the thing.

  5. I gotta say that if he has a button for each and every quill, some people are gonna have button envy 😉 What I’m wondering is how does he know which button to press when in a hurry? Does he actually have each and every one of them memorized and a millimetric sense of hand positioning to not push the wrong button, or does he simply push things at random and hope for a good result? Also, while I do give him credit for the incredible variety of weapons, how much gas, or other components can a quill really hold?????

  6. I wouldn’t put it past this guy to memorize all the buttons of his porcupine suit, Work. Look at him– he can’t have much of a social life.

  7. i remember in the Iron Man: Demon in A Bottle storyline, Iron Man fought the porcupine for a couple panels. They kinda treated him as a joke, a dude who thought he was badass but really wasn’t. Iron Man makes Porcupine’s costume blow up, leaving Porky stabbed from head to toe in his one quills. Iron Man then says something like “What’s the matter, Porky? Can’t take a little needling?

  8. I was thinking the same thing about his “wicker armor”. Mostly of the Nic Cage remake of The Wicker Man. =P

    HOW’D IT GET BURNED?! HOW’D IT GET BURNED?!? HOW’D IT GET BURNED?!?!

    Mr. Q

  9. Reader Kate

    And he’d better not ask if his outfit makes him look fat.

    His more recent costume isn’t much of an improvement. It has less of a walking haystack vibe, but it still looks uncomfortable to sit down in.

  10. So…What if nature calls when he’s in that thing?

  11. Figures. The man is a ginger and obviously a none too bright one at that. What superhero wouldn’t feel they’ve won the lottery after discovering The Porcupine is who they are up against?

    “Hey Porcupine! Whatsa prick like you doing here? I figured you woulda gotten the point last time I stomped a mud hole in your rear and gave this up. Guess you’re none too sharp, huh?”

  12. Okay, if we’re going to go with porcupine based characters, let’s do it right and bring in Shuna Sassi:
    http://www.comicvine.com/shuna-sassi/29-60116/

  13. He turned to crime after he invented a porcupine suit? So, after a career of making inventions to benefit mankind, Alex had become corrupted by the meer sight of his latest invention.

  14. In my opinion this costume here is a EPIC FAILURE!

  15. Well, what else are you going to do with a porcupine suit, Frankie?