(From "Stars and Stripes" number 3.)
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The Secret Lair
“Alex, I’ll take ‘What to say to never get laid again’ for a thousand, please.”
Ah, the good ol’ days when men were men and women were broads, and bein’ broad was a good thing! Nowadays, she’d put color on his cheeks for sayin’ that.
This guy could stand to listen to this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ipru4c3UPb0
Take heed my fellow married brethren!
Now now, gentlemen. Remember, at one time being fat (mildly, at least) was considered a mark of beauty. Owl_Poop has the right of it. (Somehow, I never imagined myself ever saying a sentence like that…)
No, honey, that dress doesn’t make you look fat–it makes you look obese.
Somebody’s been reading Dale Carnegie again …
Well, if we’re going to be all rational about it, she sounds as though she’s been sick for a long time–surprised to feel fine, amazed she has color in her cheeks–so she had probably wasted down to gaunt frailty. But out of context, a man telling his wife such a thing is inviting himself to sleep on the couch for the rest of his life.
The couch-sleeping will end that quickly after that? I’m surprised.
15 lbs in a minute. So in a little over two hours their going to need a heavy duty forklift to move her. Or a crane.