Caption Contest 66: Gunnergirl
The person who comes up with the funniest replacement dialog for this caption will win either a portrait of themselves or any item they choose for inclusion in HeroMachine 3! So get those funny caps on and start writing great lines for this:
The rules are simple:
- Keep it clean, appropriate for late-night broadcast television;
- No more than three entries per person;
- All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post.
That’s it! Good luck everyone, and as usual I’ll announce the winner next Tuesday.
December 1st, 2009 at 5:35 pm
This is not an entry, just a statement: That illustration makes my brain hurt.
December 1st, 2009 at 5:37 pm
“I didn’t even have to use the big gun this time.”
“Next time look me in the eyes when you talk to me.”
December 1st, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Yes, I braved the depths of my 1990’s Image Comics stack (via Half Price Books) to pull images for this contest. See how I suffer for you people!?
Sadly, this is the best pic out of the whole lot, some of them literally would turn your stomach. There’s one of a guy allegedly walking down some steps … ugh. And another one of this little person that literally looks sawed in half and stuffed into a tiny little Armani suit … and another one that … well, you get the picture. Or thankfully, you DON’T get the picture unless I post them, which if there’s any mercy in the universe, I will not.
December 1st, 2009 at 5:42 pm
“I hate being called Dolly.”
December 1st, 2009 at 5:44 pm
“It IS the size of your gun that matters!!”
December 1st, 2009 at 5:47 pm
1) I hold the big guns in this relationship
2)Don’t call me babe!!!!!
3)Yes this is a gun…..and no I am not happy to see you.
December 1st, 2009 at 5:48 pm
“Yeah! They’re real and so is this gun buddy!”
or
“Reach out and touch THIS!”
or
“Mind, Body and a smoken weapon that’s my motto.”
December 1st, 2009 at 5:57 pm
1) “Schwarzenegger’s got nothing on me!”
December 1st, 2009 at 6:22 pm
“Hey! The frozen pizza’s done!”
December 1st, 2009 at 6:54 pm
1) Damn! The crowds on Black Friday just get uglier every year.
(I know, that one is a little late)
2) The Liefeld 90001 Guaranteed to smoke the bad guys and give you a hernia!
3) And some guys still question the “Caution! Aim away from face!” warning on the barrel.
Mr. Q
December 1st, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Now who’s compensating, Freud!
December 1st, 2009 at 7:00 pm
WOW!!! This silicone holds!!!
December 1st, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I have what kind of envy now?!
December 1st, 2009 at 7:14 pm
1. I don’t CARE if there’s no way anyone could hold a gun like this or if my gun is angled oddly and is waaaay too heavy for one hand! I also don’t care about the ammo hanging out of my gun and the fact that it’s probably twice the height I am or that the rounds change position randomly! I also don’t give a shit about the fact that I sewed sleeves on my leather, skin tight jump-suit that has random pouches and odd shoulder pads and that I need to zip up more! I also happen to LIKE my glasses and hair thank you very much! Now if you make fun of me one more time, I will SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!!!!!
(Boy that’s long)
December 1st, 2009 at 7:20 pm
1.they call me…physically impossible!
December 1st, 2009 at 7:21 pm
1) That’s for wiping snot on the side of my pool.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:22 pm
2.Is the mouse dead!?
December 1st, 2009 at 7:22 pm
2) Ohmigosh I’m SO sorry! I guess that teaches me not to wear sunglasses in the middle of the night.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:24 pm
“MY HEAD’S UP HERE!”
December 1st, 2009 at 7:24 pm
3.Now that’s what you call a bullet-bullet!
December 1st, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Now let’s kiss and make up.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I’m ready for my close up.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:34 pm
1. Ding! Chicken’s done
2. Well I’ve injected enough silicone, what do I do with the rest?
3. What do you mean “It’s too dark to wear sunglasses?” Can’t you see there’s welding to be done?
December 1st, 2009 at 7:44 pm
1. I’ll let these guns do the talking.
2. My guns are right here and yes they’re real.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:55 pm
1. Here at Walmart, we rollback not just our prices but your life expectancy as well.
2. BOOM-Shaka-laka!
3. Gun meet Bob, my cheating ex-husband. Bob, meet gun.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:57 pm
1. You should see my big gun.
2. Eyes up here!
December 1st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I shoot and I shoot, but I’m still constipated!
December 1st, 2009 at 8:25 pm
This isn’t an entry, but why is the barrel of that thing about 10 times the size of the bullets its firing?
December 1st, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Next time, do a better job drawing me!
Or
Rob, you didn’t date much in high school, did you?
December 1st, 2009 at 9:34 pm
1) Alas poor Kermit! I knew him well, Horatio.
2) That’s not a hairdryer! THIS…is a hairdryer!
December 1st, 2009 at 9:42 pm
1)LEGGO MY EGGO!
2) i said you can have ONE muffin, not two!
3)when life hands you ammo, buy a bigger gun.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:50 pm
“I’ve come her to chew gum and kick some arse. And I’m all out of arse.”
December 1st, 2009 at 10:05 pm
1. I told you not to bother me this time of the month!
That might be pushing the line though…
December 1st, 2009 at 10:07 pm
1. WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME!
2. You kids stay off of my lawn!
3. Keep your “Watchtower” and give Jehovah my regards!
December 1st, 2009 at 10:08 pm
1) These are medical support kneepads, not THOSE kind of kneepads……pervert.
2) Launching souvenir t-shirts to the nosebleed section ain’t a problem with this little baby.
December 1st, 2009 at 10:19 pm
2) I’m sorry. What was that you said about my mamma?
December 1st, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Not for consideration, here are some I threw out:
Yes, it IS that time of the month!
You want to bury me,huh? Well, take this-oh, you said you wanted to MARRY me! Damn, always a bridesmaid, never a bride!
I am NOT doing your nails!
I’m not trying to intimidate people; I’m just exercising my Second Ammendment right! OBAMA’S A SOCIALIST!
Well, you WERE the father of my baby.
I love yardsales!
December 1st, 2009 at 10:31 pm
“It’s lucky this gun is so big, because I can’t see a damn thing!”
December 1st, 2009 at 10:32 pm
“That green stuff looks like blood. But then…oh God! That thing wasn’t a robot!”
December 1st, 2009 at 11:01 pm
1. I’m locked and loaded, now how about you big boy?
2. THEY CALL ME MISTER TIBBS!!!!
3. That’s mah Lunch money ya fool!
4. Oh man, I wanted a Beach-time Barbie and Ken for Christmas! Not this!
5. OMG!! Like this thingamajig is like totally rad!! I’ve got to tell my BFF Jill about this!!
December 1st, 2009 at 11:13 pm
3) “Who wants Toast?!”
December 1st, 2009 at 11:38 pm
“THAT Was a Warning Shot!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:17 am
3. That is NOT how you finger paint!
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:13 am
Try leaving the toilet seat up now!
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:15 am
1. What a smell of sulfur! (quoting The Wizard of Oz)
2. That’s one robo-lobster down.
3. At least my boobs will stop bumping into things if I have this giant gun protruding out in front of me!
December 2nd, 2009 at 3:27 am
1 “NINETIES!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 6:05 am
I have PMS and a big gun..Any Questions?
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:12 am
This plastic-surgery-guy who messed up my body gonna wish he’d never been born!
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:17 am
“Who the hell drew this? I’m gonna shoot him!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:20 am
“Actually I don’t think this unnatural way of holding a gun thats way to heavy will help the US-military to gain new recruits. Also I think I just broke my hand AND my arm.”
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:24 am
3) I have the ability to phase through bullets. Why do you ask?
December 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 am
“America, f*** yah!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
“As a woman, you have to go to extremes to compensate for a small phallus.”
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:52 am
1) “Give up! My boobs will give me more Ammo!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:04 am
1) Suck it, Cable!
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:13 am
1. Happiness, is a warm gun mama.
2. Just what do you mean by “You’re very Spathic”?
3. That is how I deal with sexual harassment in the workplace
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:08 pm
1.Sarah Palin has nothing on me.
2.everything is big in Texas.
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
“Does my butt look in this”
“Chamber bigger than the bullets. Typical!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
2. “I am…PALM-TREE HEAD WOMAN!”
3. “Christ, these bulging veins on my neck are cutting off my circulation!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I knew I shouldn’t have bought this from a Chinese arms dealer with a bad Texas accent. Well borken ammo belts aside, it does get the job done.
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Repalce my first with “my breasts challenge you to a gunfight!”
December 2nd, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Not an entry but doggonit if some people simply defy the effects of gravity. I’d love to have her perspicacious elasticity but unfortunately I’m a victim of the laws of physics on the human form. LOL.
December 2nd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
2. Why am I wearing sunglasses at this hour? Because my gun just kills anything in its path! I don’t NEED to see.
3. Dammit. I was expecting the blast from the gun to break the fourth wall, literally of course, and then kill Robbie for drawing me like this.
December 2nd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
3) Just testing my new portable microwave.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:05 pm
“Who said you can’t weaponize an E-Z bake oven?”
December 3rd, 2009 at 12:19 am
1. and this is my BOOM STICK!!!!!!
2. say hello to my special friend.
December 3rd, 2009 at 1:44 am
I Don’t Want To Go Out With You, Stop Asking!
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:46 am
need a smoke!
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:24 am
I’ll show you who should be in the kitchen!
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:30 am
Why yes, it does give me a manicure while I’m killing things.
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:35 am
Try the new Gunbunny support bra! With maximum sport style support and recoil compensation*.
*Warning may distort the female figure.
December 3rd, 2009 at 9:58 am
I wanted a Rachel haircut ***hole!!!!!
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:07 am
Do you wanna end up like that guy? Then remember my name is Sally not “sweater-meat”!
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:56 am
1. “Jeff, I’ve been sent from the future by Liefeld-Net to destroy Heromachine!” [insert Terminator music here]
2. “Damnit! I knew ‘this gun’ looked like it had no way of actually working.”
3. “That’s for sneezing on my space ship.”
December 3rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm
2) “They thought they could kill me? Michael Jackson never dies! He just gets bad surgeons…”
(Nobody else thinks she looks like MJ?)
December 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
‘If you look real hard…You may notice I have a gun!’
December 3rd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
1. Think loooong and hard before you decide to break up with me.
2. That’s what SHE said!
3. Actually the gun is the distraction….not the other way around.
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
clean version: NO ONE STEALS MY DOOOUUUUGGGGHHHHNNNNUUUUUUTTTTTT! *BANG!!!!* MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:17 pm
wooo i’m pooped, wanna go to the movies with a nice bag of popcorn…. no? I DIDN’T THINK SO!!!!!! *BANG!!!!*
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:42 pm
3)I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.
@ Hakoon: Actually, she reminds me more of Sideshow Bob.
December 4th, 2009 at 2:56 am
Pop Tarts are ready! Hope you like ‘em well done!
December 4th, 2009 at 6:38 am
Not an entry but (37)danny and (40)darth you guys went over the 3 per person limit
December 4th, 2009 at 6:47 am
Very funny entries so far, thanks guys!
As far as >3 entries go, my policy is to stop reading them after the third one. They just don’t get considered. So for all intents and purposes, the first three a given person submits are it.
December 4th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Hasta manana, darlin’.
The next one of you assholes who calls me the ‘Second Amendment MILF’ gets it.
How dare you insult my boob job!
December 4th, 2009 at 10:23 am
“My suit is not edible!”
December 4th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
1) Like oh my god did you see that?
2) You know the deal. I am for real.
3) Wow doctor you were right! This thearopy stuff really works!
December 4th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Let’s see if he will betray me with that bitch now!
December 4th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
1)Let’s see if he will betray me with that bitch now!
2)Say hello to my little friend!
3)Ah, well let’s see if you like it!
Please Enjoy.
December 4th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
1. “Did I get him?”
2. “That’s for making fun of my feet.”
December 5th, 2009 at 12:00 am
@berserker & Jeff: About No.37, I clearly stated “Not for consideration, these are some I threw out.” They’re just for the fun of it, hoping others would get a kick out of them.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:14 am
500 RPS belt fed and I didnt even chip a nail!
I blow away you and all your friends, and your still reaching out to cop a feel?
Size 50? Are you asking about bullets or bras?
December 5th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
No, it’s not heavy, why do you ask?
December 6th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
“Good Lord! I DO have feet…and I shot one off!”
December 6th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Oh, hell, I think I’ve ruptured a disc.