Caption Contest 59: Home … sweet? … home

Put on your Funny Cap boys and girls, because it's time for another edition of the HeroMachine Caption Contest! Come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this comic book panel and you'll win either any custom item you like or a caricature of your face to be included in the final version of HeroMachine 3!

This week we're going for something a little different. Instead of slavering heavily-muscled spittle-festooned uber-monsters firing all manner of projectile weapons, we have a pleasant little domestic scene:


Or is it? Who knows who's off panel speaking, or what he/she/it is saying? That's up to you! As usual, the rules are simple:

  1. Keep it clean, appropriate for a prime-time broadcast network program;
  2. Only three entries per person;
  3. All entries must be left as a comment to this post.

That's it! You have one week -- next Tuesday I'll announce the winner right here on this here spot on the intertubes.

Good luck everyone!

49 Responses to Caption Contest 59: Home … sweet? … home

  1. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    1) …And it cleans the dishes, too! Call our toll-free number to order your housewife TODAY!

    2) There’s, uh, there’s still a big blue ring on that one…

  2. Avatar The Imp says:

    1. What’s the point of washing ’em if you’re just going to drop ’em on the floor?

    2. Umm… don’t look now, but there’s a gigantic blue venus flytrap outside your window.

    3. I don’t care if you’ve got a college degree.

  3. Avatar John says:

    Honey? Did you wash my cabbage handle?

  4. Avatar sph says:

    I washed this one yesterday and what did it get me? I’ll just fill the vodka bottle with water: he’ll never know.

  5. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. Beers don’t walk by themselves, dear.

    2. I’d help, but you’re much better at dishwashing than I.

    3. Hey, the baby looks just like the milkman. God sure works in mysterious ways.

  6. Avatar William A. Peterson says:

    “Honey? Where did you put my razor-sharp throwing discs? My Utility Belt is all out, and I can’t find them ANYwhere!”

  7. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    [1] “…control? A woman’s place is in the kitchen, right Xena? Xena?”

  8. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    [2] “Blue Goose said he knows where I live, but the Fortress is secured. How’s YOUR day been, Lois?”

  9. Avatar Whit says:

    [Wow, this one is going to be tough, I’ll have to give it some thought…]

  10. Avatar Whit says:

    1) Honey, guess what I just got from the store? MORE DISHES!

  11. Avatar david says:

    1)Yeah… um you missed a spot there…

  12. Avatar Mr.Vampire says:

    1) Curse you again Domesticator!

  13. Avatar Loki says:

    1.”Don’t talk now Lois, my new Arch-Nemesis, The Blue Stain is here!!”

    2.”So, your saying that the whole world is just a messed up game of Blues Clues? Duuuuuude…”

  14. Avatar thejay says:

    No.. this apron doesn’t make you look fat!

  15. Avatar Pyrate Hyena says:

    You again? I don’t do that life-debt-thing! I do it because my parents were shot! PLUS I already HAVE a butler!

  16. Avatar Mr.Vampire says:

    2) This looks like the work of The Polisher!

  17. Avatar Hakoon1 says:

    1) Have you been injured at work or at home? No? Lady, I’d consider surgery…

  18. Avatar Hakoon1 says:

    2) I just don’t understand. What have I done? Why won’t you talk to me?

  19. Avatar Crinold says:

    Honey, have you seen my Spacial Rend Automatic Targeting Disc somewhere? The one that looks like a plate?

  20. Avatar epoch says:

    well at least your super powers could help you clean windows and stack dishes properly…

  21. Avatar Worf says:

    1) Honey, can I have those plates? They’d be perfect for my new model of the Enterprise(tm)

    2) Alright. Put the plate down, walk slowly towards the door and I won’t call the cops.

    3) You crazy woman! I said I wanted a clean DASH not clean dishes!

  22. Avatar Patrick says:

    1. Alright, have two questions: Who the hell are you nad where is the real Lois Lane.

    2. Diana! Wonder Woman! Wake up you’re dreaming again!

    3. Stop it Canary, this is not funny!

  23. Avatar Bael says:

    1) China? We don’t own any good china. Where did that come from?

    2) Aaaarghh. How do you keep getting in here? I know I locked the doors.

    3) Um, I don’t really know how boiled bunny rabbit tastes. Why do you ask?

  24. Avatar Rickss says:

    1 – Sooo…you found my house Apron Girl.

    2 – Argh! I can’t stand all this blue!!!

    3 – Hey! Open the door! It’s not funny anymore! LOIS!

  25. Avatar Dennis says:

    1) Why is that cup squint? You call yourself a maid?!

    2) Honey, it was a one-time thing, put that plate down!

    3) Who’s the giant with the blue lipstick that kissed that plate?

  26. Avatar Jimmy says:


  27. Avatar Jigglypuff says:

    1. Looks like you’re daydreaming about being a superheroine.

    2. Honey, what’s with that strange blue blob outside the window?

    3. Hey, Diana, can you please turn off the computers while you are cleaning up?

  28. Avatar Soccerchoco says:

    1. Attack the pretty giant- girl who appears to be washing oversized dishes but is actually throwing weapons of mass destruction!

  29. Avatar Bixlord says:

    1) Do a good job and I’ll let you wear shoes.

    2) Stop complaining, it’s going to be harder when you’re pregnant.

    3) Dammit Mary! I said wear the one with ruffles.

  30. Avatar kyle says:

    1.did the smurfs ate here last night ?
    2.Is that Bizarro doing the YMCA dance out there?
    3.who taught you how to do the dish’s!

  31. Avatar Loki says:

    “So your the one killing Smurfs?”

  32. Avatar Xstacy says:

    For the love of God! I’m not your husband. You’ve got to let me go. Please…I-I promise I won’t talk to the cops…please…

  33. Avatar Soccerchoco says:

    2.Honey, let the captive mini spaceships free!

  34. Avatar Soccerchoco says:

    There’s a swarm of blue- beetle- bugs outside the window! YOUR JOB IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR WASHING UP! Jump to it, woman!

  35. Avatar Soccerchoco says:

    That last one was number three.

  36. Avatar TDC says: to see the worlds dirtiest dishes. honey can you bring them out.

  37. Avatar JWMan says:

    1. “Honey, I’d help but that wouldn’t be fulfilling my stereotypical husband role now would it? Love ya hon!”

    2. “Sugar Plum, I know you wanted to lose the baby weight after having the baby, but seeing your waist I’m a little concerned.”

    3. “You know I don’t appreciate you enough, I need to… is that Harvey Birdman outside our window? What was I saying?”

  38. Avatar Rj McD says:

    hun this meatloaf tastes funny

  39. Avatar remy says:

    “Well waddya know! amelia bedelia did something RIGHT! Except she missed a spot….

    2. Remember to wash that poison off really well, honey. If the police saw that blue poison stain, they might figure out that WE killed Fred!!

    3. Honey…? why is that plate blue? We had meatloaf! Meatloaf isn’t blue. What did you put in there? Honey? Hon–*THUMP!*

  40. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    ” . . . this message brought to you by the Stepford Chamber of Commerce and Visitors Bureau.”

  41. Avatar Zorbas the Awesome says:

    1.) 1 new message: Hey Hun its me Rob, the boss wants a new character by tomorrow so could you find my shit platter so i can be inspired when i get home? Thanks ill be home soon enough. *BEEP*

    2.) Lois…this is the Daisy plant on the window sill…You should go out with Clark…NO this is NOT Superman throwing his voice from outside.

    3.) Hey Maria could you be a dear and clean up the blue lipstick around the house so that my wife doesn’t suspect i hired a blind prostitute? Thanks you’re a doll!

  42. Avatar Whit says:

    Honey, you’re just how I like you–barefoot, and… um, the OPPOSITE of pregnant, I guess, um…

  43. Avatar the topaz says:

    1.)dear could you… do the dishes right!

    2.) so it was u who ate the smurfs

  44. Avatar the topaz says:

    1.)dear could you… do the dishes right!

    2.) so it was u who ate the smurfs

    3.) try our new diwn dish soup side affects are blue stains constipation explosive diarrhea bloating and uncontrolable need to…..

  45. Avatar Xstacy says:

    No, honey, I don’t think that will work for the plate armor.

  46. Avatar Whit says:

    3) My hourglass/dishwasher robot works! Success! MWAAHAAHAAHAA!!!

  47. Avatar Mike says:

    1. Elizabeth those clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing.

    2. Dear what did I tell you about getting the red china mixed in with the white china. Now all that china behind you is pink!

    3. Guy, guys let’s see how many times we can say Aoogah! through a megaphone without her dropping the dishes. Hee, hee.

  48. Avatar Fishpants says:

    1. Dammit, Genie, I said a kitchen sink HOSE, you know the kind with the sprayer? And what’s with this 12-inch pianist?

    2. Golly, Professor, slavery sure sounds neato!

    3. So if I say “ACTIVATE MURDER/SUICIDE MODE” the MaidBot will do what now? Wow! Thanks, I’ll–oh crap.

  49. Avatar Oquies says:

    1) (Man talking on phone in background) “What do you mean its not my child!”

    2) “Wonder Woman? She doesn’t seem so wonderful to me.”

    3) “You do know we have a dish washer right?”