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(An ad from "Strange Fantasy" Number 2, 1953.)
Yee-haw! Send yer $2.98 via Pony Express, pardner, and in just a few weeks Happy the Cowboy will show up at’cher door, ready ta wrangle and strangle…!
[Meanwhile, Cowpuncher and Kid Colt make their final stand against that dastardly duo of Toyman and Ass-Clown..!]
Colt: Nice punch, buddy! I’ll start chuckin’ these dangerous dolls into the firepit!
Toyman: DON’T CHUCK..! Waaaiiit… My buddy… Chucky!
It’s official: that doll is creepy. But, so help me God, I want one. Exposure therapy, something akin to arachnophobes exposing themselves to spiders so they can gradually ease their fear of those dreaded eight-legged beasties. I mean, I would lose sleep with that wooden abomination staring at me from my dresser. Those cold, lifeless eyes peering right into my soul…BRR! Of course, should I ever see it positioned other than the way I left it– it’s firewood. I don’t care if my wife was dusting around it, or there was an earthquake, doesn’t matter. In fact, that little monster better pray that a car doesn’t drive by at night and cast its shadow across the wall, because, yeah, it’s going into the fire. He’ll go from “Happy the Cowboy” to “Charred the Firewood”.
Josh- Just put his own cig he is smoking in his pocket and watch it go FWOOOSH
Happy the Cowboy comes complete with his vey own artificial laranyx! Just look at his brown smoker’s teeth! Pull his string and hear his annoying smoker’s hack! Yes, he coughs and weezes just like a real smoker! Order yours today, and remember: smoking really is for dummies!
It’s advertised as having a “real cowboy outfit.” Said outfit must have come from a tiny, strangely proportioned cowboy.
Paul, I probably never told you my Million Dollar Idea:
An all-midget rodeo. Little People cowboys on miniature horses rounding up miniature cows, busting miniature bulls and broncs, little people rodeo clowns jumping into beer kegs instead of 50-gallon drums, all in a pint-sized arena. Instead of regular-size Cokes you sell those miniature bottles, and instead of hotdogs you get cocktail weenies.
And the best part is the name:
“The Biggest Little Rodeo in Texas.”
And our slogan:
“Everything’s bigger in Texas. Except this.”
It’s genius, I tell you, GENIUS!!