Caption Contest 46: NOOOOOOO!!

I love this panel. Love love love love it. It's from Image's "Prophet" number 5, and while I had to edit out two editor-text boxes in the lower right, it's totally worth it because surely there can be no more cliched image in all of comicdom. I cannot wait to see what you all come with for captions on this bad boy:

prophet-5-nooooo

If you come up with the best/funniest dialog to for the balloon, you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) from me, Jeff Hebert, professional illustrator and full-time bald guy. You can't beat that with a stick, folks!

As always, no more than three entries per person, left in the comments to this post, with said entries not to exceed the bounds of what would commonly be seen on broadcast television.

Good luck everyone!

Edited to Add: OK, I can't let this go. Let me count the Image-y goodness in this panel. Gross, bulbous thighs. Bizarre padded wrestling helmet. Massive gun across the back. Massive ammunition belts across ... well, everything. Huge, bulging, vein-filled arms. Strange, tiny fists. Lots an dlots of grenades. Shuriken belt buckle. Sitting in flames and yet not burned. Bald head with tubes sticking out. No feet. Unbelievably wrinkled and massive crotch. Blood everywhere. Phlegmings in the mouth. Massive grimace. No pupils (time is money here, people, if we leave out the pupils we save a hundred man-hours in the course of one year!). NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Upside-down mini-machete sheath with bullet loops on top, because every square inch must be taken up with ammo. Leg shadows that are filled with both color and lines.

Ok, now I'm done.

84 Responses to Caption Contest 46: NOOOOOOO!!

  1. Avatar Cory says:

    1. She’s Pregnant!

    2. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH AMMO!

    3. That pizza HAS to be delivery!

  2. Avatar jimmy says:

    NO YOU DID IT! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

  3. Avatar Tal says:

    1. No fair kick in guts! (You have to see Mortal Kombat for this one…)
    2. Niet. (You have to see the Russian dubbed version of Highlander for this one…)
    3. Sorry. Beans. (You have to… appreciate the dire truth of this one.)

  4. Avatar Whit says:

    1) I’ve swollen, and I can’t get up!

  5. Avatar Whit says:

    2) I–I can’t see my feet!

  6. Avatar Ed H says:

    TOO…MANY…BURRITOS….

    My name is Squat, and thanks a lot.

    IMAGE CLICHE LEVELS — RISING — APPROACHING THE LIEFELD EVENT HORIZON!

  7. Avatar Whit says:

    3) Why are you complaining? The doc said your crotch might talk.

  8. Avatar EnderX says:

    “They’re out of chalupas!”

  9. Avatar amathakathi says:

    1. I forgot to turn off the gas!!

    2. Another blind date gone wrong!

    3. What do you mean “Mission Accomplished”?!!
    (I am so glad that the Bush years are finally over ;D )

  10. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    What do you mean “double bean burritos?”

  11. Avatar Socrates says:

    1. Johnny Alpha’s gonna kick my ass for ripping off his costume!

  12. Avatar steve says:

    Damn you Simon Cowell!!

  13. Avatar MontanaPlayer says:

    1. Thighs so huge…head so tiny…must ignore their taunts!
    2. How could I have lost the dance off?

  14. Avatar John says:

    “My feet! WHERE ARE MY FEET!?”

  15. Avatar Skiriki says:

    1) “Shut up at the upstairs!” (…just see where the bubble connects…)
    2) “Eruption is imminent.”
    3) “Love is a burning thing…”

  16. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. Calgon, take me away!

    2. KEANU REEVES AS KLAATU?

    3. I’m all fired-up!

  17. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    These aren’t for consideration:
    1. Talk about roasted nuts!
    2. I am Godcrotch! Obey me! (Look where the dialog balloon originates.)

  18. Avatar The D-Man says:

    1. To much ammo…need…MORE POUCHES!!
    2. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FEET!!!
    3. OH NO, not enough Image cliches!!

  19. Avatar Loki says:

    1.MR.FLUFFS!!!!!!! WHY!?

    2.WHY DID I GO INTO BODYBUILDING?

  20. Avatar Playa Hater says:

    I thought with Beano there would be no gas!

  21. Avatar Playa Hater says:

    Man what was in your surprise soup? Cause I got the worst part of the surprise! UGHHHH

  22. Avatar Runt82 says:

    #7 wins hands down. I can’t even compete in this one.

  23. Avatar Mike Buchan says:

    “Don’t worry, man, Hitler was missing his right nut too, and look how evil HE was!”

  24. Avatar RitoruBushi says:

    1) Get me the Pepto!
    2) FEEEEEEEEEEEL the BUUUUUURN!!!
    3) sTRAIN HARD!!!

  25. Avatar Mike Buchan says:

    2. (For Call of Duty fans) Well, you DID say you’d give your right nut for the bandolier perk.

  26. Avatar marty says:

    1)What the heck is on my face!

    2)Why did I pull his finger?

    3)Pants too tight. help!

  27. Avatar bgh2 says:

    My balls have shrunk!!

  28. Avatar LoneWolf6155 says:

    This is not a caption, but in the military knives are often carried in inverted sheaths.

  29. Avatar LoneWolf6155 says:

    I CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH BULLET GOES TO WHICH GUN!!! HOW DOES A’NALD DO IT!?

  30. Avatar Ian says:

    1. It smells like Corn Nuts!!

    2. No quiero mas Taco Bell!!

    3. Put a little more ass into it! I did!

  31. Avatar Dave says:

    1) OH GOD IT BURNS! WHY DID I EAT THE BURRITO!

    2) They grafted my top half on to the Hulk’s bottom half!

    3) I wanted the last cookie!

  32. Avatar hookman says:

    1. It was Earth all along!
    2. There’s a speech bubble stabbing me in the crotch!
    3. I ran out of ammo!!!

  33. Avatar DJ says:

    1. DAMN YOU LIEFELD!

    2. THEY SAID I WOULD BE IN WATCHMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    3. (from the crotch) OH GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME! THIS MAN IS AS GENTLE AS A JACKHAMMER!

  34. Avatar RJ mcd says:

    they cancled prison break nooooo

  35. Avatar Jester says:

    1. Don’t do it, Donna! He’s your brother!!!

    2. *grunt* I… gotta… MEDITATE!!!

  36. Avatar DJ says:

    (off topic: This reminds me of those old I Spy books. I am trying to spot all the 90’s cliches. (without Jeff’s edit.) Wow…just tons of…crap)

  37. Avatar Age of Fable says:

    1. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO – actually, put me down as ‘undecided’.

    2. Lots of men think with their dick – it’s just that usually it doesn’t make them smarter.

  38. Avatar Age of Fable says:

    3. THIS ANGER MANAGEMENT COURSE DISPLEASES ME!

  39. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    [1] I prophesy… ‘ROID RAGE!!
    [2] The safety was on, sarge! The safety was on!!
    [3] ALL will be assimilated! Resistance is futile!

  40. Avatar Bael says:

    When I find out who lit that match…

  41. Avatar Rob Rogers says:

    1. Help! I’m trapped in this guy’s pants!

  42. Avatar Zincspider says:

    1: THEY’RE OUT OF ‘TWILIGHT’ BOOKS! I WILL NEVER KNOW IF SHE GETS EDWARD TO STAY! (I hate that series.)

    2: I AM RIPPER, TEARER, SHREDDER. I AM THE TEETH IN THE DARKNESS. I AM BEOWULF!

    3: LEECHES! ON MY FACE! I HAVE NO WAY TO DEFEAT THEM!

  43. Avatar Chuckles says:

    I fight my way thru hell, and all you have is light beer?

  44. Avatar Rick says:

    1. Good lord no… who did you say created me?

    2. Too much thrust in my squat!

    3. Take all the roids you want, I’m still the head in charge!

  45. Avatar AJ says:

    Your worst nightmare, Butt-Horn!
    I left all my guns at home!
    Pizza delivery!

  46. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Wait. Um, yes.”

  47. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Damn. I thought I could get this red dot off of my shirt by SHOUTing it.”

  48. Avatar The Grizz says:

    1.) Random Drug Testing??!!

    2.) A New Street Fighter movie??

  49. Avatar Loki says:

    No Ablo Espanyooooooooolllll!!!!!!

  50. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Woah. I was expecting a KA-BOOM!!! That smart bomb spoke.”

  51. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    1. Where’s my marbles? I can’t find my marbles.

    2. Magic 8 ball. Do you think they will ever make my comic book into a movie?

    3. Gigantic muscles, packing lots of ammo on my suit,. How did you figure out I’m not packing in my pants?

  52. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Loki it should be No hablo espanol. But I’m sure Jeff will edit it if you win. Unless you were trying to make it more reader friendly, in which case sorry.

  53. Avatar freak says:

    this one is the best!!Dave Says:
    OH GOD IT BURNS! WHY DID I EAT THE BURRITO!LOL u rock dave
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  54. Avatar Brambles says:

    SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

  55. Avatar Loki says:

    (not part of the CC AKA Caption contest) Jeff look….his crotch has eyes!

  56. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    1) …I mean yes!
    2) Body knows the trouble I’ve seen…
    3) Soylent Green is people!

  57. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    Man, you guys are on FIRE! Very impressive entries so far, this is going to be a very tough one to call.

  58. Avatar D says:

    1.(sings) …body does it quite the way you do… Baby you’re the best…

    2. Thunder! Thunder! THUNDERPANTS…

  59. Avatar D says:

    3. So that’s why I have no eyes! I’m the lovechild of Little Orphan Annie!

  60. Avatar jim says:

    1. “ehh stop crying im the one suffocating down here”

    2. “I SHULD HAVE SWITCHED TO GEICO”

    3. “I CANT REACH THE ICH ON MY HEAD”

  61. Avatar Redrain says:

    1: Life gave me lemons… AND I BLEW THEM MUTHERS UP!!

    2: These aren’t my Party-Boy pants! I can’t rip them off (can do without the last sentence)

    3: THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!

  62. Avatar Dan says:

    1 Honey, i burned the pizza.
    2 Morphing… damn, i’m stuck halfway.
    3 Big macs do go strait to your thighs!!!!!!!!!!!

  63. Avatar Socrates says:

    2. My….legs!!!

  64. Avatar freak says:

    holy crap!!

  65. Avatar freak says:

    i farted

  66. Avatar JonnyDemon says:

    Good God ,I should have read the instructions on the Colon Blow bottle first!

    HABANERO ENEMA BAD!

    Maybe the jet engine anal implant wasn’t such a good idea!

  67. Avatar David says:

    What?! The boulbous thighs and pouches aren’t in anymore?! Oh, the humanity!

  68. Avatar Gregg H says:

    Man, I could have done SO much better as Anakin than that Hayden Christensen guy!

  69. Avatar marx says:

    “I forgot to TiVo Rachel Ray!”

  70. Avatar Tracer says:

    1) OBAMA!!!!

    2) JESSICA SIMPSON TELL ME IT ISNT SO!!!!

    3) NOT MY CHIHUAHUA!!

  71. Avatar corey says:

    NOOOO, MY WAFFLES, MY BEUTIFUL WAFFLES!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WAFFLES!!! WAAAAAAAAAA!!!

  72. Avatar The D-Man says:

    1. To much ammo…need…MORE POUCHES!!
    2. NO ONE CAN EVER SEE MY FEET!!!
    3. OH NO, not enough Image cliches!!

  73. Avatar Meg says:

    1)… means yes.
    2) Crotch: owww owww god, what are you doing to me??
    3) Maaaaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeeee

  74. Avatar The Imp says:

    1. Somebody stick a fork in me. I’m done.

    2. You would not BELIEVE the chafing I get…

    3. Boxers… so unbelievably… TIGHT!!!

  75. Avatar Tejas Banana says:

    1 – C’Mon Ice Cream!
    2 – Well, Maybe.
    3 – Spontaneous Bowel Obstruction…Heat…Rising…Must..Find…Release….

  76. 1 MY CONTACT!
    2 THEY CANCELLED THE TICK!
    3 I’ve run out of scotch in my tubes!

  77. Avatar Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1.(Crotch) THE CROTCH HAS SPOKEN!!!!!!! AND IT SAYS YEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!

    2.DAMN YOU TWINKIES!!! YOU RUINED MY THIGHS!!!!!

    3. THERE’S NO MORE CANDY!!!!!

  78. Avatar Zorbas The Awesome says:

    Srry messed up n entry 3. it should say

    3. THERE’S! NO! MORE! POWERTHIRST!!!!!!

  79. Avatar Malachi the Great says:

    Can’t…..scratch….nose!
    I’m not compensating for anything, why do you ask?
    Gun!? I just throw the bullets.

  80. Avatar Eric B. says:

    1.) “Damn it!! This happens every time–5 hours to put all this $#%& on, and now I hafta go to the bathroom!!”

    2.) “Bah–this puny word balloon is much too small for me to properly encapsulate my feelings of anger, pain, and frustration! How’m I supposed to scream like a raging lunatic if I can’t fit my dramatic wailing within this tiny, useless bubble?”

    3.) “They just sold the last copy of ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2’… so NOW what am I gonna do this weekend?”

  81. Avatar Damien says:

    NO! I CAN’T believe it’s NOT BUTTER!

    I NEVER should have ordered that INDIAN CURRY!

    In the dire heat of deadly flames—
    I become the dreaded WERE-TANK-MAN!

  82. Avatar Steve says:

    1. FABIO!

    2. I can’t believe Marsha is sleeping with Dan. She’s carrying Josh’s child.

    3. KHAAAAN!