Poll Position: Tough enough

Let's get away from all that "Who can beat the snot out of whom" stuff and try something a little more thoughtful:

{democracy:61}

Discussion below the fold.

  1. Not tell anyone and go into a dangerous line of work like police, firefighting, etc. This has several advantages. First, you could live a normal life without being hunted by various powerful groups. Second, you could do some real good, helping to save both regular folks and your fellow public servants. Finally, it has a paycheck, unlike regular old super-heroing.
  2. Put on a costume and fight crime directly, like in comics. Cool, obviously, but you have to worry about secret identities, identifying the criminals, protecting your loved ones, making enough money to get by, and -- most importantly -- designing a costume. All very daunting.
  3. Not change anything, just go about your life as usual, content that you can't be hurt. What's the point of being invulnerable if you're just going to keep on being a slacker? Well my friend, if you have to even ask that, it's clear you don't understand the Zen of Slacking.
  4. Parlay your unusual ability into fame and fortune by putting together an "illusionist" type of show and touring. On the plus side, you get fame and fortune without having to worry about being tortured to death. On the negative side, you'd have to talk to Jay Leno.
  5. Tell the government and let them decide how best to use you. Yeah. Right.
  6. Become a criminal, using your power to control the mob. You'd certainly win their respect with your toughness. But since you don't have super-strength or anything, they could still beat you down, tie you to a cement block, and let you enjoy your long life as the most invulnerable person on the bottom of the lake.

So given all that, I think I'd probably go with ... becoming a policeman or firefighter. Although I suppose really that just makes me a coward, since I want to do good, but am letting the fear of getting hurt stand in my way.

What would you choose?

21 Responses to Poll Position: Tough enough

  1. As I read Superman say somewhere, there may not be a reason you’re given your powers/talents, but if you don’t use them you’re failing yourself. I am so far from the Zen of Slacking that I can’t see it with supervision.

    The government one has possibilities. It’d be interesting to see a story about a naive superhero who does that but experiences a political awakening on the front lines.

  2. Rob some banks, then go on an infinite global series of adventures that I would be too scared to try normally.

  3. I picked villainy FTW!

  4. Government. I would let me decide how best to use my skills. I could do more good for this country and/or world by doing that then just fighting crime on the streets.

  5. I’d fight the criminal elements of local government, seeing as ‘invulnerability’ is my only edge. Unfortunately, costumes and armor can be exploited, and there goes the secret i.d.! I’d have to be conveniently orphaned, single and living off the land per se for maximum functionality, or …. Gee…

  6. I would become the Incredible Guy Who Can’t Be Hurt! Children everywhere would pay five dollars a pop to throw rocks at me and hit me with baseball bats! I could have my own booth at the carnival, maybe even get an Incredible Guy toy deal and my own line of bobbleheads! And when we run out of rocks and I’m all washed up, I can start my own reality show called Incredible Guy Knows Best, The Simple Incredible Guy Life, or Incredible Guy’s Family Jewels!

  7. Uh, Jose, when you say “the criminal elements of local government,” what do you mean? Are you going to beat up school board members? Will you shake down the mayor for defeating the water-bond referendum that would have improved drainage on Main Street? Or is all about keeping property taxes low?

    And I would totally watch The Simple Incredible Guy Life.

  8. I want one of those bobble heads!

  9. Exactly what comes with the package? After all, invulnerability isn’t the same as immortality. As accepted in comics, the term generally means ‘safe from physical harm’, but seems to relate to being injured – I’m not sure someone invulnerable could survive being drowned.

    And I’d probably go into law enforcement, at least until the crooks suddenly seemed to come up with multiple tons of whatever ‘rare’ substance can remove or pierce my invulnerability.

  10. I voted for dangerous line of work. I was thinking of a policeman, but there is also another possibility: stuntman! I could see many actors firsthands and could make a boatload of cash!

    By the way Jeff, designing a super-hero costume isn’t that hard. After all, we got Heromachine!

  11. William A. Peterson

    Well, I’m intimately familiar with the “Zen of Slacking”…
    In fact, I fully intend to join the local Procrastinator’s Guild, just as soon as I get around to it! :->
    As to the gentleman who doesn’t understand about the Criminal Element in local politics…
    I’m from Chicago!
    Or, as Letterman put it, our Governor was recently arrested on “One count of Fraud, One count of Embezzlement, and one count of Blagoeiviching”…

  12. So .. how will invulnerability help against Blagojevich? Are you going to punch everyone who offers a bribe for Obama’s old senate seat? Literally shake down the governor himself for not resigning?

    I’m not saying there’s not corruption, I’m just saying physical invulnerability is the wrong power to fight it. If Superman heard burglars in the Watergate and everything Deep Throat said afterwards, think about how much trouble he would have caused by physically throwing Nixon out of the White House.

  13. As evidenced by Claire on Heroes, simply being invulnerable is really little help in fighting crime. Just because you can’t be hurt doesn’t mean you can actually stop stronger and/or multiple criminals, or even little guys who know a lot of martial arts holds. It certainly doesn’t make you able to stop a getaway car, or a hail of bullets meant for someone else (unless you just happen to be standing in the way). And the mob that would tie you to a concrete block if you tried to take them over would do much the same thing to an invulnerable cop or wannabe super-hero.

    So sideshow freak is actually looking pretty good….

  14. stacy- That is why I chose the government. They would teach me how to fight and give me the proper training needed so that I could use my invulnerability the best way possible. It would also keep me from getting in trouble with cops for being a vigilante and if I were a cop or other dangerous job then people may catch on.

  15. Firefighter. Rescue work would be almost easy if you didn’t need to worry about your own safety. Police or government would be tempting, but they are typically require team work. Also, I’d hate to serve a high-risk warrant to another Ruby Ridge.

    No matter what you did, I doubt you could maintain a secret. Any public presence would reveal your power (think Unbreakable). Being known as the go-to guy for dangerous work would pay well. Endorsements and merchandise would bring in even more.

  16. Yeah, but DJ, what if the government says that anyone who is against pollution or wars is an enemy? Are you going to beat up harmless hippies just because they tell you to?

  17. That’s no harmless hippie, it’s Angar the Screamer!!

  18. Dang, and right on the one-year, one-day anniversary of that post. That’s harshes my buzz, man.

  19. TheNate- No. Because my highest duty is to myself. But I doubt they would send me after hippies. I am thinking more rescue missions for hostages.

  20. William A. Peterson

    I didn’t say that being Invulnerable *would* help fight crime!
    I only said I understand, better than the person questioning the original concept, that there WAS such a thing as corruption in local government!

  21. Dude, that was me. Check the name. I never said there wasn’t corruption.

    Now let’s let it go before this becomes a comment argument.