Gay Batman or Vampire Liberace? We report, you decide!

I'm not sure what exact number it is, but somewhere on the "Big List of How To Make a Bad Super Costume" is "Make the whole thing pink and purple." For any questions regarding this vital tip, I point you to either Hawkeye or Dr. Strange's brother, the vampire:

drstrange-16-a-gaybatman.jpg

Now, in his defense, this guy was being mind-controlled by an immortal voodoo queen at the time. But still, even mind-controlled voodoo vampires have pride, or ought to. Besides the ghastliness of the color scheme, you have to wonder why a vampire -- who, let's not forget, can actually turn into a real bat! -- would need to dress up as a bat when in human form. Because if he wanted to look like a bat, wouldn't he just, you know, turn into a frigging bat?! The giant fake ears, the giant fake wing/cape, it's all unnecessary. It makes you wonder if, in his bat form, he wears a tiny little tuxedo and Count Dracula cape. "Look at me!" he would squeak, "I'm a human!"

Maybe the outfit is supposed to stun his victims, who would be torn between horror at the creeping undead about to consume them and convulsive laughter at the pink and purple big-eared Mardi Gras costume it was wearing.

9 Responses to Gay Batman or Vampire Liberace? We report, you decide!

  1. I like the costume. The big ears are a little much but the reason he would want to dress as a bat and look like a bat is simple. Bats are scary. Same reason Batman does. The reason he does it even though he can turn a bat is even easier. You can’t kick butt when you’re small and don’t have arms.

  2. Granted bats are scary, but are they as scary as vampires? Why not just stay a vampire and scare the snot out of everyone instead of turning into something LESS threatening?

  3. Because vampires are hard to tell from a regular human. Wouldnt you be scared if you saw that coming after you? Oh and I love Hawkeye. He is one of my favorite heroes.

    He also takes after a previously established character Baron Blood.

  4. “Watch out, you nasty bad mens! Ooo, don’t make me gets all ups in yo grills! Sss! Sss!”

  5. Hawkeye *should* be cool like Batman. After all, he’s a really buff–but completely unpowered–guy who goes out there and fights people with superpowers. He’s an orphan who had an unusual upbringing and harsh training regiment. He’s got distance weapons–complete with ridiculous gadget accessories–and it turns out he also has ninja-type skills.

    So why *isn’t* he cool like Batman?

    I’m going to say it’s the pink and purple costume. You’d think at least one of his identity changes would come with a cool costume….

  6. Hawkeye is a true bad-ass in the Ultimates version, although really he’s almost more like Deadshot than anything in that. But he definitely makes you believe a guy with a bow can kick butt.

    The problem with the “regular” Hawkeye, besides the silly colors, is the overall design of the outfit. He’s got those enormous outriggers on his mask that just look stupid, besides doubtlessly getting in the way of the drawn bow string.

  7. I agree with you on this, DJ: bats are scary. Pink bats, however… eh, not so much.
    If it were black, or maybe a very dark purpleish-blue kind of thing, maybe… but he looks like the Easter Bunny dressed up for Halloween.

  8. Yeah, you’re right. He would still look silly even in better colors, if nothing else changed. I think costumes tend to stay the same so people can recognize old characters when a new artist comes on board a book, as much as for tradition. And that’s valid, to some extent. But, you’d think heroes could be updated at least every decade or so.

  9. The Vampire is using dark colors. If it was BRIGHT pink I’d agree but its a dark pink almost purple. Now if it were bright pink and purple I think id be more scared. Its like “OH CRAP GIANT BAT IN PINK!” Cause if he was wearing bright colors like that you know he is badassery squared.

    I love Hawkeyes costume! It reminds me of Robin Hood in some way.