On HeroMachine, that captions check in, but they don't check out! Come up with the best caption for the comic book panel below and, if your entry is selected, you’ll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) by yours truly.

As always, the rules are simple: Only three entries per person, put your dialog in the comments to this post, and keep it relatively clean (as in, appropriate for a broadcast TV sitcom).
Good luck everyone!
He followed me home Ma! Can I keep him? Can I?
1) Anybody got a can of human spray?
2) Dang. Oh, yeah, five-second rule.
1) I SEE THE COOKIES! I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM!
2) Goodbye, Mr. Bond.
3)I have a hilighter and I WILL use it!
Gimme the sugar, or this guy gets it in the nuts!
1.Always have your pets spayed and netured!
1. Whaddaya mean “it’s on our side”?!
2. YOU CALL THIS “WELL DONE”?! IT’S HARDLY MEDIUM RARE!
3. Next time, think before you litter!
2.Whos the good human! Whos the good human! YOU ARE! Yes you are!
1) Commander, this one keeps talking about “Geneva Treaty”. Do I still eat him?
Who wants a drumstick?
(I apologize)
Bitch! Where’s my money?!
Girl, This is my man!
Turn…the lights…OFF!
Take that helmet off right now! You know that putting it on when your hair is wet gives you really bad helmet hair. Here use my blow dryer.
Honey, you said you wanted sour cream on yours right?
Bad HUMAN! Next time Go Outside!
All your base…and cookies…belong to us
Sorry about this Mr. Abrahms, but this is what you get for not hiring me for the role of the Monster in Cloverfeild!!!
1. See class, in case of a pathetic human rebellion, you must shoot first and ask questions later.
2. Now, THIS is how roaches get back at bug exterminators!
3. YOU FAIL!
3.”Read the instructions again! Do I put bolt A in hole 1 or 2?”
1. This one’s got scabies…should I drill him?
2. Look at the UNIT on this guy! MAJOR unit!
3. Awwww…crap! I forgot to wear pants again!
Ian
Balloon :You don’t exterminate the roach, THE ROACH EXTERMINATES YOU!
“Now this little fella here, is just a soldier. I simple blast is all you need. But if you ever find yourself fact to face with one of their queens, then you’re gonna need one of them bombs. And use it quickly, cuz once they lay their eggs, your home will be infested and you’d have to relocate.
Bad Human BAD BAD BAD! you know that youre not suppose to touch my ray gun! NOW OUT!
Seriously, cut the crap,and hand over the “Mangroomer”,have you seen my back hair!
Waddya’ mean “Dark Crystal” reject. Your mamma!
Honey start a fire,daddy brung home da bacon!
In post-apocalyptic Soviet Russia, Roach exterminates You!
3) Hey Honey, wanna neck?
(singing) Chestnuts roasting under an glyborg ray… Damn, I crack myself up!
2. If you don’t want to renegociate my contract for Starship Trooper 4, I swear I’m gonna kill Casper Van Dien!
1) Somebody give me a shoe!
2) this is the roaches time to rule… and Kaith Richards
“Oh, look. This one has baby blue eyes and the cutest little nose, and it…oh. But it’s not house broken.”
“Wait. I flew 52 light years to be in the 20 years too late sequal to Explorers, and NOW you tell me my costar is JOAQUIN Phoenix?”
1. I got your “La Coocaracha” right here!
2. Homeboy, stop buggin’!
3. That damn Hebert screwed-up my illustration!
3) boy you are Ug-ly!
Orkin Man — ur doin it wrong
1) Your under arrest now put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care!
2) So should I plant something on him officer?
WHOA!! Look at her. Dude, I’ll totally let you live if I can dae your sister!
yes sir I know, he just won’t let me blow dry his hair!
1)Honey, I’m home with dinner!
2) What do you mean, I shouldn’t eat humans?!?!
3) So, would you like the neck, or the heart?
It’s so frustrating!! How can we be scary alien invaders when our weapons contract is with LEGO!!!
1) Put the fly swatter down or the human gets it!
2) Welcome to Glygox-9, now speak Glorkian!
3) NARE WEAR SHORT SHORTS?!
(Sorry)
4) Honey…you’re home early…
5) It’s not what it looks like!
Vulcan Neck Pinch
Roaches do check out. In fact baby, I’m checkin’ you out right now.
Who let the gimp out?
I’m with Ashton Thomas 3 just isn’t enough sometimes
1. yes i have the next one Simon. its getting hard to get people to be on American idol ever day
2 give me the cash or … what do you mean its just a magic marker ?
3 cant this jerk read the sign no techno geek skate boarders
1. There’s only one round left. Here, take this, and remember to aim low. His brains aren’t in his head…
2. Gotcha. Now Rick, we’re really worried about your growning obsession with the new Straship Troopers MMO, I mean look at the way you’re dressed!
3. Oh yeah, when i cross my eyes a little, it does kinda look like a sailing ship…