Captain Rectitude

The third rule of creating a super-powered character (only slightly less important than “Don’t tug on Superman’s cape” and “Never start a land war in Asia“) is, “Never put anything in their name that sounds like ‘rectum’.”

Which brings us to She-Hulk villain “Captain Rectitude“:

she-hulk-21-captainrectitude.jpg

If you’re going to violate that third rule anyway, however, at least don’t put him in giant purple thigh-boots that should never be seen anywhere outside of a pirate deck. And you certainly shouldn’t put a big double-testicle-shaped heart logo on his chest that fires pearly white beams of anti-smut rage. And you definitely, definitely shouldn’t make his abilities based on re-channeling his every sexual impulse into Puritanical anti-porn powers.

Yes, that’s right, “Captain Rectitude”, with the name that starts out with the same root as “rectum”, is entirely powered by repressed sexual energy.

Somewhere, Freud is rolling over in his grave and smiling.

(Image and character from “She -Hulk”, Vol. 2, No. 21, ©1990, Marvel Entertainment Group.)

4 Responses to Captain Rectitude

  1. I read that his given name is Bob Jones–the same as the ultraconservative university in South Carolina.

  2. Good catch, Whit, I missed that! How appropriate …

  3. HalLoweEn JacK

    This brings back memories of a Christian superhero who developed his powers by using VR to view the cruci-fiction of christ and then went on to lecture petty criminals about their wrongdoings. Yay.

    My question is – if this guy is a she-hulk villain and yet he goes around protecting women – on what grounds does he go up against SHe-hulk? She’s not submissive enough to his patriarchal morals? She dresses inappropriately and poses as a statue in Las Vegas? She makes green-skinned pornography?!? *shudder*

  4. HalLoweEn JacK

    On a related note – I just looke dup Captain Rectum on the Marvel website…

    Intelligence is his lowest attribute. Go figure.