[Herr D]

Ed had a ‘universe stone’ but didn’t believe that it made a loud bang, accompanied with a flash. He put it under the high-powered lens plate . . .
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-ExaminingTheUniverseStone_zpsdcqviva9.png

* nonstd   :   No standard body parts, and not much in the way of standard categories–there ARE no nonstandard patterns, for example . . .

********

“Hey, you forgot to pay for that!”  –Mike found out the hard way that he really COULDN’T put down Reality Comics.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-HeyYouDidntPAYForThat_zpshz3yg4ph.png

*comiccover

********

An honest-to-goodness FBI agent? To see Farmer Jenkins? Well he told me he was out of town for a month, but I guess he stayed on account of that thunderclapper strikin’ his barn. Thought I saw his pickup goin’ the night before, but, y’know, now’s I think about it, he prob’ly parked it in the barn to stand on. To help reach, right? He fixed his barn, installed the new sprinklers, painted everything all in a WEEK, if y’ can believe that. –What? No, I cain’t read your badge, son; broke ma glasses last year. I just string beans and sets here while the family comes and goes. Yessir, I saw ol’ Jenkins out there finishin’ up somethin’ coupla days ago. All that work musta done him in. Clothes don’t fit him right anymore. Walks stiff too.

I tell ya what, his tomatoes grew up real fast–odd shade of green, though. And eight foot tall vines if I’m six. That’s right!

 

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-FarmerJenkinsVacation1_zpsdxwclmqo.png

*OPMC

********

B movie about a decade from now. A wannabe porn producer goes out on a boat with a shark-hunting enthusiast. They shoot, they score, they are set upon by what lies beneath. Bieber shows some acting talent as he is repeatedly mauled. Gauss’ debut is memorable, if not wonderful. Nino Banderas directorial debut surely got her grounded, but made her family some money in the straight-to-video aftermarket.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-DeepTrouble_zpse1oz6q8e.png

*MoviePoster

[Herr D]

Keric, ams, TJLocke, or any site moderator! Please weigh in at this time. First respondent judges who wins between the two entrants . . .

[Herr D]

rrrmm yes. Funkmachine? You’re the other entry. Do any of these judges NOT suit you?

Possible appointees:

Keric: He’s won several of these too.

ams: He started the thread, after all.

JR, djuby, Kaldath, Jeff: because we’ve seen them judge things.

The judge from before would be good if it’s not one of us. [starts to look . . . ]

please answer yes or no and call upon first respondent to volunteer or give me your list–I’ll be incommunicado till Wednesday most likely.

[Herr D]

TJLocke? Are you gonna judge?

[Herr D]

Ms. Brown could forgive Deacon Jamison his holier-than-thou attitude, his boring Bible Study, his messing up the church kitchen and leaving it for her, his arrogant and pedantic way of demonstrating his no-mess-finger-dough-rolling technique, his dalliances with the occasional college coed, and never complimenting her cooking or giving HER a second look.

Not sharing the recipe for his oat-paste, raisin, walnut, almond, cinnamon, white chocolate cookies? That meant WAR.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-DeaconJamison_zps96ztqjb2.png

*The butterfly tat made an excellent part of the stained glass, the wings made good wax paper and handiwrap, and the camouflage headgear made a wonderful dough-encrusted lecturing finger during the depicted ‘cookie sermon.’

[Herr D]

Glad you’re better. Being ill makes the backlog worse sometimes. Unfortunately, I am just dead serious. Don’t worry about it not being as good as you like yet. Writing (art forms) is the only horse you can flog until it DOES get moving. In my experience, when your skill improves, your expectations rise. Sorry for the bad news, but the way to become good is just to never become too happy with your work.

About the best news I can give you is that there are moments of happiness, like you just gave me when you complimented my writing. (Thanks.) About the best advice I can give you is to use your best medium to improve the ones you can’t give up. (companion pieces, co-inspiration, etc.) About the nicest thing I can say to you is: I’m sorry you are similarly afflicted but not above enjoying the work you put out. (I can as much see Maxim 5 in Pratchett’s work as that I use too many parenthetical notes. Like illustrating one of the chapters about that cleric apprentice who listened so well he saved the l—?)

[Herr D]

TJ? Love the concept! As sole entrant, pick three and prepare to judge in a week.

 

[Herr D]

*facepalm

I . . . good grief, I forgot all about this. Funkm was the judge, and so probably can’t win. As sole non-judge entrant thus far, I’ll assume judgeship–it’s not really a win to be sole entrant anyway:

 

 

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Herr D]

Fellow Neis walked out of a tavern with a mage, a dwarf, a bard, and a barbarian. He walked on alone.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-FellowNeis-Monk%201_zpsh7hk1mr1.png

*Pal-adin

********

Not everyone was cured at the new healing center, but there were no complaints.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-MonkASH_zpsuqntya5c.png

*Cleric

********

Ms. Brown could forgive Deacon Jamison his holier-than-thou attitude, his boring Bible Study, his messing up the church kitchen and leaving it for her, his arrogant and pedantic way of demonstrating his no-mess-finger-dough-rolling technique, his dalliances with the occasional college coed, and never complimenting her cooking or giving HER a second look.

Not sharing the recipe for his oat-paste, raisin, walnut, almond, cinnamon, white chocolate cookies? That meant WAR.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-DeaconJamison_zps96ztqjb2.png

*OPMC

********

Seawater-extracted mercury makes good egg paint . . .

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-SeawaterExtractedMercuryMakesGoodEggPaint_zps8slctr0o.png

*egg

*

********

Sometimes stereotypes are too easy to pass up . . .
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-Egghead_zpsel3ycftz.png

*egg

********

Revision:

 

[Herr D]

Sorry I got delayed. Here’s an entry. Massive influx of work. I’ll check back tomorrow to see whether I won or Funkm did.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-R1T3_zpssslrkh7u.png

[Herr D]

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/a8cb8cc0-8d01-4aca-87ca-0bd9eacf334b_zpsrfobvtcs.png

*mage

*******

R1T3 is a droid made for truing various objects, buildings, etc. He had to be banned and electronically fenced away from the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-R1T3_zpssslrkh7u.png

*OPMC

[Herr D]

I KNEW hooks were scary! Good work with the blurb. Closets are GREAT gateway points. That’s where I keep all of mine. Wait . . . maybe THAT’S where my clothes keep disappearing to . . .

Pick three man, and: good work on your interdimensional fanged nun with guns. Decorating the rifle stock that way was a good idea.

 

[Herr D]

Thanx, man. Allie did beat her high score this season. Next three: pic deadline Fri. noon to be judged hopefully by 8pm EST 2/27. I went with hooks.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Herr D]

You won’t get much from history on the subject of what people “did” unless they had people praising them or being their biographer. Or wrote journals. For example, journalists in newspapers around the time of Jack the Ripper occasionally pandered to the public, declaring that women were far too ‘delicate’ to do things that their contemporaries in law enforcement knew better than believe. Polite society would frequently claim women couldn’t do things that were, [ahem] done by women in alleys seven blocks away.

So–if the woman failed or died in her last effort, she might have done anything at all. In the pioneer days, women survived however they did without telling anyone. As long as no one KNEW, no insecure males or overzealous females felt the need to put them in their place. The frontier was, therefore, perfect for the more capable woman and horrible for the historian.

So, make a situ where a woman HAD to do something that no one would’ve found out about, and write your story.

[Herr D]

Update: I’m up to about ninety pieces before Flash crashes–is this a trend of fixing or something else?

[Author]

Posts