Re: The Pigeon Hole by Snail Male (machthemanic)

[The Atomic Punk]

A disturbing sequences of events. The character from his prime to damaged to triumphant to revenge. Every step of the way he has purpose.

My nit is that I see the story, but the regal appearance of the first character to the wounded second is very off-setting. I understand trying to demonstrate contrast. How the character was and how he is now. It’s too large of a leap. To me, these personalities are separate and unique but still need to be cohesive. Maybe re-worked into a schizophrenic / psychotic episode not just a handsome prince to a paraplegic.