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Herr D

“Juker, Cleric Of Chaos”

Originally an NPC designed as a one-off ‘damage sponge,’ a GM requested him to be played ‘for real.’

Juker is a cleric in two senses: He is a priest of a minor god of chaos, Riv, the Lone Survivor of the Apocalypse of the Previous Realm. He is also sort of an unknowing shakedown artist. He appeals to other very materialistic clerics to heal his own party by threatening to destroy valuables, magic items, etc. What he wields is the Ever-Changing Mace Of The Stuff Of Creation, which can harm NO LIVING THING. It gives a pleasant nap with weird dreams to whoever he hits with it and takes no hit points. One hit will cause random types of damage between 23 and 69 points to an object and its material surroundings. One point to the constitution of his party for every 100 points of destruction. 1d2 for the ability to swing it each attempt. It also provides him with triple the armor equivalent of banded mail and up to six saving throws per encounter / natural disaster. Which is good, considering his stats are really horrible.


“I’ll save you!”-Juker. “No, please don’t–allow me.”-Other side’s cleric.



“I’M the droid they’re looking for!” Droid 7391 (yes, look at the number upside-down) was originally programmed to be a regular custom service droid on a planet far, far away. Specifically, a brothel. Then an Imperial technician decided, as a joke, to program him with the ability to banter with opponents while teaching them techniques against those using -uh- ‘laser swords.’ A warrior at one with the shadows stepped out for just a moment, stooped, and went away.

Then Droid 7391 started WINNING the fights and shutting down to prevent injury to a a living being. It had been programmed to believe that it WAS one of those special warriors, maintaining a disguise by use of -uh- ‘psychic access to powers of good.’ They locked him in a store room till they could figure out how to reprogram it. It made a cloud of stun droids and escaped in the ensuing mayhem. It seeks to join the rebellion.

*NOT jedi/sith


Ouch! Real life, leave me ALONE!


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