Open Critique Day

Considering the turn out for last weeks OCD, and the fact that some people have been pestering the moderators to bring back the OCD for a while now, I thought we might as well have another one today.

Same rules as apply to the contests apply here. No copyrighted characters, no characters based on copyrighted characters/ RPG's and other games, they must be your own characters. I will delete any posts that I believe have crossed the line in any way, and that includes with the critiques. Keep it friendly guys, we're trying to be helpful here.

Ok, lets see what you've got.

JR19759

About JR19759

Email: jr19759@hotmail.co.uk Twitter: @jr19759 Deviantart: JR19759 Deviantart HM Group: Heromachine-Art

21 Responses to Open Critique Day

  1. Keric:
    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/keric/2013/09/Spiderknight.PNG

    Ok, let’s be honest, that is very close to the line there, what with the colour scheme, web pattern, logo (in those colours), it’s *just on the acceptable side, although I’d be a bit less concerned if the colour scheme was different.
    With that said, there are some other things you could do to improve the design. Firstly the gloves, I don’t personally think that having one set of gloves covering another works when you use the spiked gauntlets. I’d pick another set or get rid of them completely. Then you have the problem with the ornate boot decorations, by stretching them out they look completely miss-shapen and don’t sit well on the leg. I can see what you were trying to do, but it might work better if you didn’t use one item per leg, maybe leave the original item at its original size and then use a second item on the thighs (maybe a glove inverted and reshaped?) Also the feet should be layered down under the pants. Finally, I’m not a fan of having two different colours on one item in the way you have done on the feet and helmet. It works when there is a definite border between the two colours (like on the chest plate), but when there isn’t it doesn’t look very good to me. I’d stick with one colour and use different shades of that colour for colour 1 and colour 2, it’ll make a lot of difference.
    Sorry if it seems I’m having a downer on this character, I’m not. I’m just trying to help you improve on what you’ve already got.

  2. I want to ask critique for this piece. I like but somehow i feel to something missing for me.

    http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/tarkabarka/2013/04/Harlequin_I_Think_I_Love_You.png

  3. Harlekin: http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/tarkabarka/2013/04/Harlequin_I_Think_I_Love_You.png

    I see what you mean. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is though. However, I think there are a few things that you could do to “neaten up”. The guys mouth doesn’t quite work, the black lines seem to thin and don’t quite meet right at the bottom arc of the mouth, plus there’s some of the skin colour showing between the white and the outline black. His right hand seems a bit squashed, like his hand has been caved in from his index finger to his little finger, maybe move the middle two fingers to line up. You could also look at his elbow, it could do with another item just to give the elbow a point and outline. At the moment it looks like the elbow bends the wrong way but there’s no arm after the bend. And finally, maybe tone down the highlighting on their hair, it’s slightly too blurred, it needs a bit more definition. Sorry if this doesn’t solve the problem for you, as I said I can’t quite place what’s missing.

  4. As some of you may know I am an actor and stuntman (and a face in the Winners tab under Heads!). I have been in various short films (some of which I showed here), TV shows (check out this season of REVOLUTION), and feature films (Nic Cage’s upcoming film JOE, Sin City 2). I am also an aspiring filmmaker. i have made a “grind-house” trailer to drum up funds for an “exploitation” short film. It’s campy and definitely “b” quality. Check it out here: http://versusfilms.net/

  5. @Keric: I’m not sure where the ‘knight’ part comes in. JR gave you a lot of notes, and they make sense, but maybe the problem is you don’t have a clear goal? Your work normally seems more UNIFIED somehow.

    @Harl: I only have two things: 1. The captor’s eyes just don’t seem as well done as the captive’s do. 2. I’m not sure which (or both) is speculating on loving the other. Surprise, revulsion, or delight in the other’s face would fix that.

    @barbario: I can’t get the short to stream continuously.

  6. http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/TatianaBlackwoodZyp_zps5b53548a.png
    Tatiana Blackwood: Just felt like making one of my Sims 3 characters in HM. Still learning Zypping, so any advice on that is appreciated.

  7. Kicktar:
    http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/TatianaBlackwoodZyp_zps5b53548a.png
    Tatiana Blackwood: Just felt like making one of my Sims 3 characters in HM. Still learning Zypping, so any advice on that is appreciated.

    I’d advise maybe toning down the black make it less opaque and look at the size of the circles. Have a look at the work of some people you think do really good shading and see if you can pick up some tips and apply those to your work. Also the hat needs to me moved down a tad and the ears are quite small compared to the rest of the face.

  8. Harlekin: I want to ask critique for this piece. I like but somehow i feel to something missing for me.http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/tarkabarka/2013/04/Harlequin_I_Think_I_Love_You.png

    I would change his eyes somehow, they dont seem right. On the mouth maybe add teeth or a tooth because of the angle. Possibly more detail on the females breasts.

  9. @Kick: Good start. I’m not sure where you want the light source, but I personally would tend to highlight one side and shade the other.

  10. Zaheelee: http://i1139.photobucket.com/albums/n547/Zaheelee/Zaheelee-VisionHawk.png

    I think the colour version is better, the light and colour suits the subject more than the gloomy dull greyscale. As for things to work on, it looks pretty decent already. You could do some shading on the hair and wings, they look a bit plain compared to the rest of the picture, and maybe move her face down a click or two, because at the moment she’s rocking an almighty chin, but apart from that I can’t think of much else.

  11. @ Jr and Herr This was an HM version of a rabbid plot bunny, Something that sinks it’s teeth in, and won’t let go! I did know that it was kinda bad (the coloring was a major eyesore!) but I did not realize it was THAT BAD (and after viewing it after the crit, YEAH, IT IS THAT BAD!) Thank G IT’S Exercised!

  12. Herr D:
    @Keric: I’m not sure where the ‘knight’ part comes in. JR gave you a lot of notes, and they make sense, but maybe the problem is you don’t have a clear goal? Your work normally seems more UNIFIED somehow.

    @Harl: I only have two things: 1. The captor’s eyes just don’t seem as well done as the captive’s do. 2. I’m not sure which (or both) is speculating on loving the other. Surprise, revulsion, or delight in the other’s face would fix that.

    @barbario: I can’t get the short to stream continuously.

    sounds like problem at your end

  13. Ah, crap… OCD is happening again, and all I have is a pile of barely-started anatomical outlines… Guess I have work to do.

  14. Hi, I’m looking for some input on my Gale Force series:
    Elemental Dorothy
    Woodward Tynmen & the TWM
    Cyborg Flying Monkey
    Shin Lao, the reluctant warrior king.
    Yong-Xi, the face of courage.
    Kor-Sekra’a, the stranded Phytopathian.

  15. @Barbario- I’m having trouble with it streaming as well, but what I’ve seen so far looks ok.
    @Jadebrain- Don’t worry there’ll hopefully be another one next week.
    @Timedrop23- Ok, to kick off the coloured shoe in the Dorothy picture crosses the line into the greyscale half of the image, you might want to mask it to a square to sort that out. I’m not quite sure what’s going on with the shuriken and white oblong on the small green guys top on the Tinman picture, I assume it’s there for a reason but it seems out of place. I’d personally take a look at the colour scheme of the Flying Monkey again. The cooper and electric blue go well, but the red seems to stick out too much, maybe try a duller colour, a dark orange? The Cowardly Lion picture seems to be very focused on the bottom two thirds of the page, there’s a massive blank space for a third of the page at the top. You’ve got all the page and you’re doing a background so why not either make the main character bigger or add a little something like a bird or another cloud just to break up the empty sky. My only gripe with Yong-Xi is that you should maybe use a different foot item, I’d think that her toes wouldn’t all be showing through a sock, even if it was skin tight. With the Scarecrow, maybe put a black circle insignia behind his neck, so it looks like the neckwear item goes all the way round, because it often doesn’t when you use the non standard bodies. ANd I’m not sure why his lips are green.
    Appart from those details, give shading a go. You’ve used a lot of large blocks of solid colour, so maybe break them up with some highlighting and shadow. But it’s a good series, I’ll be interested to see if you do anything else with it.

    Ok guys, this OCD is closed. You can still critique work and reply to any critiques of your work, but please now don’t enter any pictures to be critiqued.

  16. barbario:
    As some of you may know I am an actor and stuntman (and a face in the Winners tab under Heads!). I have been in various short films (some of which I showed here), TV shows (check out this season of REVOLUTION), and feature films (Nic Cage’s upcoming film JOE, Sin City 2). I am also an aspiring filmmaker. i have made a “grind-house” trailer to drum up funds for an “exploitation” short film. It’s campy and definitely “b” quality. Check it out here: http://versusfilms.net/

    Definitely campy and strange. More please!

  17. @Zah: I would recommend layering the wings. Maybe six copies. Two the exact same size to vary the coloring of the outline; four pieces to ‘ruffle’ the feathers. Mask the wings to an insignia about half the size of her head, go translucent, and play with slight changes in position and angle. That should make the feathers look more interesting.
    @Time: Personally, I would choose a more exotic-looking Emerald City for Dorothy to stand beside, add some cape shapes or shields to the wings, and make the Phyto’s stance less symmetrical

  18. @Time: Make that comment ‘wings of the cyborg flying monkeys.’

  19. JR19759:
    @Barbario- I’m having trouble with it streaming as well, but what I’ve seen so far looks ok.
    @Jadebrain- Don’t worry there’ll hopefully be another one next week.
    @Timedrop23- Ok, to kick off the coloured shoe in the Dorothy picture crosses the line into the greyscale half of the image, you might want to mask it to a square to sort that out. I’m not quite sure what’s going on with the shuriken and white oblong on the small green guys top on the Tinman picture, I assume it’s there for a reason but it seems out of place. I’d personally take a look at the colour scheme of the Flying Monkey again. The cooper and electric blue go well, but the red seems to stick out too much, maybe try a duller colour, a dark orange? The Cowardly Lion picture seems to be very focused on the bottom two thirds of the page, there’s a massive blank space for a third of the page at the top. You’ve got all the page and you’re doing a background so why not either make the main character bigger or add a little something like a bird or another cloud just to break up the empty sky. My only gripe with Yong-Xi is that you should maybe use a different foot item, I’d think that her toes wouldn’t all be showing through a sock, even if it was skin tight. With the Scarecrow, maybe put a black circle insignia behind his neck, so it looks like the neckwear item goes all the way round, because it often doesn’t when you use the non standard bodies. ANd I’m not sure why his lips are green.
    Appart from those details, give shading a go. You’ve used a lot of large blocks of solid colour, so maybe break them up with some highlighting and shadow. But it’s a good series, I’ll be interested to see if you do anything else with it.

    Ok guys, this OCD is closed. You can still critique work and reply to any critiques of your work, but please now don’t enter any pictures to be critiqued.

    The colored shoe thing was completely intentional, showing Dorothy stepping from Oz to Kansas and back again.
    A close-up on the Tin-Man image (and a look at the character bios) would explain that the green knight is the former sheriff of Oz (hence the star insignia), and the shape behind it is a heart (hinting that he–or rather the suit he’s wearing–is the heart of the TWM).
    The original flying monkeys wore those silly red bellhop costumes, so that’s what I was going for. Maybe a darker red would be better, but I stand firm on it staying red.
    I agree on the Shin Lao, Yong-Xi, and Kor-Sekra’a critiques, but on closer inspection (again, my fault for not including a headshot), you’ll see that those are his teeth that are green, not his lips. I thought it gave him that extra false-creepiness vibe Dorothy expressed when first meeting each of her companions in the movie. Plus he’s an alien, so….